Au
Where #JiangCheng ‘s lp and jfm’s lp meet (due to an incident created by their mad scientist /again/
And jc’s disciples are just about ready to DRAG jfm’s disciples.
*whispers* “wtf, why are they so lazy- WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY DON’T HAVE SURVIVAL DAYS?! NO WONDER THEY FUCKING DIED.”
“WOULD YOU LIKE TO TALK ABOUT OUR LORD AND SAVIOR, SLJ?”
“So jc’s still just a grum-“ *get’s round house kicked in the face by jc’s disciples*
Jfm disciples: it’s ok to relax and skip training! We’re still young! ☺️😁
Jc disciples: see, this is why you die. Yes you’re young so you SHOULD train now bc it will be easier to retain that knowledge. Also, incase you missed it, being a cultivator is not a safe job.
Jfm would hate jc’s disciples.
Yzy LOVES them. Finally ymj has some sense!

Jfm: they have completely lost the way! *whiny crybaby noises*

Jc disciples: on the contrary, we’re still as wild and unrestrained as you’re lp, we just have a goal and maturity, smth you dearly lack.
They’re right though, for all that jc’s disciples are strict when it comes to training and such, they are so much more wild and free than jfm’s disciples.
And it’s precisely bc they are so tenacious with their training that they can afford to be so unrestrained.
The chances of surviving goes up by training so hard and so much, so they don’t have to be AS carful, and bc they know they’re giving training everything they got 1. When they are free it’s like a breath of fresh air so they cherish it+
2. They never have a guilty connection that they didn’t do what they’re supposed to do to weigh them down when they’re having fun.

Jc’s sic: life’s about balance, babe. Especially with a job such as ours. Sometimes, to live our life to it’s fullest, you have to compromise.
*CONSCIENCE, I MEANT CONSCIENCE!*
Me @ me: wtf does connection even mean here, bitch?

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More from @catharinathecat

Jun 3
#chaoticYMJ
“Wait, so the sister is the older one?”
“Mnnn, sorta. Depends on the day, tbh”
“Wha- last i checked you couldn’t change your age.”
“Yeah, but you can change your gender, and the twins switch between the genders almost everyday.”
“Isn’t that confusing?”
“Not really. Their eyes switch color according to what gender they are that day. Blue eyes = girl, gold eyes = boy, a mix of both = they/them.”
“Huh”
“Look, these fuckers are thousands of years old, can shape shift, and can hear everything that’s +
Happening in lotus pier. Their gender is the least confusing thing about them.”
Read 4 tweets
Apr 8
You know. Christians that are homophobic, sexist, transphobic, racist, etc. Are weird.
I, myself, am not a christian, but i did grow up in a very christian heavy environment (christian school, Wednesday bible study, going to my friend’s church occasionally, christian +
Family members, etc) and i have read the bible at least twice (listen, it’s like the godly equivalent of the grimm fairy tales)

And, without fail, one of the biggest things that christians preach constantly is “love thy neighbor” and “treat others how you wish to be treated.”
And homo/transphobic, sexist, racist, etc. christians just... don’t.
They don’t do that. They don’t love thy neighbor. They don’t treat others how they wish to be treated. They literally took one of the core christian values and gave it the middle finger.
Read 6 tweets
Apr 8
Ok, jin ling is 100% one of those babies that, if you look away for half a second, would somehow end up on the roof chasing a butterfly or smth.
#JiangCheng lost about 20 years of his life withing the first three months of jl learning how to crawl.
When jl started walking it was absolute hell. For this, and solely this, problem, jc had his r&d department creat a tracking system so that jc knows where jl is at all moments.
Jl doesn’t know about this system. It’s connected to his bell. So almost his entire life+
Jl was lead to believe that jc has amazing jl sensors that always let him know where jl is.
When jl finds out it’s actually his bell he is /so/ betrayed.
Jl: what do you mean you had attached a tracking system to my bell?? It wasn’t just your jiujiu senses?!?
Read 4 tweets
Apr 7
#Xuancheng mafia au
Where jzx is actually the cop/agent at the head of the case to capture sdss, one of the biggest crime lords in the city.
And every night he comes home to his husband, jc, playing with jl.
Yes, they are both very aware of the other’s jobs. No, they+
Don’t give a shit.
Jzx slams the door.
Jc:...so, how was work, today?
Jzx: you fucking shot me!
A rival gang: let’s take out that pesky cop, jzx.

Jc, behind them, with a knife: i think the fuck not.
Listen, jzx may be a cop, but he’s his cop, and no other gang can mess with him.
Read 8 tweets

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