Thread by @dodoscreamb

#JiangHappyFamily modern au
little a-cheng is learning to cook 🥰🥰 (it went as well as expected)
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One afternoon, little JC entered JFM's study wearing a cute frilly apron and headband, with his tufty bangs tied up in a ribbon.

JFM almost had a seizure upon seeing the ultra

cute getup (WCZ, a reliable right-hand man that he was, immediately took pictures on his phone & shared them with the members of the Jiang fam).

"What did I do to be visited by such a cute angel?" 🥹 JFM cooed.

JC giggled. "Baba, A-Cheng brings you snacks! I made them for you!"

JFM, "You made snacks? For Baba?" 🥹

"Uh-huh!" JC handed him a tinie silver tray with a covered plate in it. "I made it all morning!"

JFM blinked back his tears (his A-Cheng grew up every day🤧). WCZ switched to video mode to record this moment.

JFM opened the plate cover.

And froze.

WCZ drew a sharp breath. Which was proven to be a mistake, as a strange, pungent smell assaulted his nose.

On the plate there were ... well, the men weren't sure what those things were. Some vaguely round-shaped ... things, with predominantly grey-black color and a few veiny whites?

Actually, they couldn't even describe the shape well. It was so bizarre, that it seemed as if the air

around the things created a mosaic censorship barrier to protect the eyes of the (unfortunate) beholder.

JFM, "oh! *clears throat* what an ... exotic snack! What do you call this menu, dear?"

JC did that kicked puppy look, one he did when he was disappointed (sht sht sht!😱)

"It's lotus seed buns ... A-Cheng didn't make them pretty enough?" 😢

"Nonono, that's not what I meant!" JFM yelled in panic, "It's truly pretty! They're the most... Unique buns I've ever seen! As I said, very exotic! Uncle Wei thought so too, right, Uncle?"

WCZ nodded eagerly.

"Oh," JC blushed, "Thank you," he mumbled shyly, his cherubic cheeks turned pink.

Fck. WCZ flashed more pictures.

"So, would Baba like to taste it?"

JFM could feel the cold sweat dripping down his back.

JC looked at him expectantly.

The ... exotic sweet buns, JFM swore, /pulsed/ a little like some kind of alien eggs.

JFM glanced up at his trusted man and lifelong best friend, WCZ asking for help.

"Of course he would, Chengcheng!"

WCZ already had his phone on record, didn't even bother to hide his smirk.

Brigand!!

JFM forced a smile. "Yes, A-Cheng, of course! It REALLY makes me hungry. Actually," he sent WCZ a pointed look, "Uncle Wei also wants to try it too!"

WCZ took a step back instinctively. "Oh, no ... I mean, they looked REALLY appetizing, but unfortunately I have to cut my sugar intake, you know for health--"

"Oh, don't worry, Uncle Wei! It's sugar-free!" JC quipped helpfully.

WCZ blanched.

"Well," JFM smiled, all teeth, "there's no reason to hold back then, right, my friend?"

WCZ regretted his life choices. "Ah yeah, haha," he put down his phone, "sugar-free, eh? Lucky me!"

They each took a piece of the hazardous-looking bun. It was moist and sticky,

and they couldn't help thinking what would happen if it got lodged in their throat.

Well, JFM thought, good thing I've written my will.

With one last shared determined look, they popped the bun in one go.

JFM: !!!!!!

WCZ: !!!!!!!!

JC: 🥺👉👈how does it taste, Baba? Uncle?

JFM blinked back tears as he chewed the thing.

"Oh, this is ... uh ...."

"What did you put as the filling, Chengcheng?"

JC brightened at the interest. "Oh, I put all of Baba's favorites in them! There're lotus seeds, of course, but A-Cheng can't make them paste yet so I put

them in chunks!"

Well, that explained the extra crunch. He didn't remove the piths too, if the bitterness was any indication.

"And Baba is cutting on sugar, so I put salt instead!"😊

God, he looked so proud. JFM & WZC would just look at his face for a sweetener substitute.

"An' I needed to give color to the buns, but A-Jie said we can't use watercolor for food (JFM: Thank fck!! Thank you A-Li, smart girl!) and there wasn't any food coloring.

Then A-Cheng remembered that one time we went to the restaurant and ate charcoal pudding! So A-Cheng use

that!"

They REALLY didn't want to know where A-Cheng got charcoal. Hopefully, it was the right kind, though the ashy texture indicated otherwise.

"And-and A-cheng also remembered the mooncake with egg yolk, so I want to put an egg yolk in it too, but there wasn't any too.

But there were little squids in the fridge and Baba loved squids, right, so A-Cheng added them!"

JFM crunched on something slimy and it popped. Probably the raw squid's eyes.

Next to him, WCZ gripped his arm tight as he swallowed.

"Wow, Chengcheng, that's very ..." Gulp.

"Flavorful," JFM finished, pushing the malignant amalgamation of ingredients down his resisting throat. "Very innovative, A-Cheng."

He held down a full-body shudder.

"So ... Do Baba and Uncle like it?" 🥺

"Of course, A-Cheng. It's ... extraordinary."

WCZ nodded, forced a smile. "An experience of the palate."

JC eyed the last bun curiously.

"A-Cheng hasn't tried it ... May A-Cheng has the last one--"

"NO!"

JFM swept the plate out of JC's

reach.

JC blinked.

"Ah-hah. It's just ... too yummy! Baba wants to finish this one, please?"

"Baba really likes it that much?" 🥺👉👈

JFM's hair was plastered on his cold-sweating temple. "Of course!"

JC brightened even more, if it was possible, and for a second the two grown men thought that dying was worth it if they got to see that angelic smile.

"Oh, okay then! Baba can have them! A-Cheng will try other recipes!" 😊😊

And then, just like that, the little boy left the room, a spring in his step, his frilly apron bouncing with the movement.

JFM & WCZ scrambled to the toilet.

EPILOGUE

That night, JC entered JYL's room, carrying a white watercolor tube.

JC: A-Jie, can you help opening this? 🥺

JYL: Ofc A-Cheng ☺️ what are you going to draw at this time of night?

JC: Mmm not drawing. Mama's working late again, so A-Cheng wants to bring her hot milk.

But we run out of fresh milk, so A-Cheng's got to make it first.

JYL, hand freezing over the tube's lid: ☺️

JYL, putting the watercolor out of JC's reach: I just remember, Mama is on a milk diet rn. Let's make her hit chocolate instead, shall we ☺️

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