Thread by @FamilysSoupTV

Uvalde. (Opinion piece)

I've been through a lot of trauma covering what I have seen over the years, and uvalde was hands down the hardest emotional experience i've had. I can't stop seeing those children's faces.

Being at the site of those memorials was hard enough, and I

can't even imagine how incapacitating it would have been to routinely enter the funerals. I had considered it originally, but then couldn't grit my teeth and bear the emotional toll I knew it would have had. Plus as a outsider and a journalist I feel like I may be out of place at

the funerals.

I also didn't want to ask anyone for interviews, I didn't want to out the on the spot pressure of asking for a interview to grieving members of the community, but I noticed that local Main Stream Media and CNN was asking everyone, So I did approach a couple ladies

post interview with MSM to let me interview them, that's when I was redirected to the flower shop.

In the end the target of my trip ended up being at the memorials, and showing the collective nature of these memorials to the public, the collection of trinkets, rosaries, stuffed

animals, etc, that were heartfelt gifts from members of the community and from people across the country wanting to show respect to the shooting victims. Each piece of memorobilia had it's significance, with it's impactfulness based on individual perceptions.

The first day I

was there I originally went to the roadside memorial, It seemed like it would be a atypical stream with me reading off posters and providing dialogue, but as soon as I got out of the car, I was swarmed with a flood of emotions, I felt a rush of waves pouring over me, and my heart

sank. You can see the pain in the memorobilia that's left behind, and everything reminds you of the sorrow of the community, the weight the Robb Elementary school shooting had on the shoulders of community members. About 6 minutes into the first stream I did my best to maintain

my sense of composure, but that soon dissipated and I could feel my eyes begin to swell, and tears came out. Shortly after that my cellphone overheated and the stream was over, I had to sit in the car and just try to regulate my wild breathing.

Going to the Elementary school

was just as hard, seeing the little notes with words like: "I'm going to be okay mommy. I'm a princess forever! And we make everyone smile no cry!" was heartbreaking, knowing a life was ripped away, seeing that these children were ripped away from this world by a shooter who had

made a statement 4 years prior stating he would do this, then seeing the poem titled "If tomorrow Starts without Me" crushed me, and I personally felt another wave of emotion. That was incredibly hard to read, it wasn't just reading the memorobilia and seeing the memorbilia,

but hearing stories from some of the community members, who were still up in arms at the local police over the handling of the shooting, who were still crying, praying, dropping off flowers, and coming back daily, with their entire families to show support for each other.

I couldn't thoroughly walk through the memorials until the last day, and even then it was hard, I heard so many stories of the community coming together, how local businesses like flower shops donated all their resources to the memorials and to the funerals,

How Soulshine industries made custom caskets for each child based on their specific interests, people were giving hugs to strangers, and I even got a hug from a red cross spirit counselor, who could tell that being there was painful for me. Every day being there was

heart wrenching, and everytime I left almost I became teary eyed or cried, Theirs a emotional toll of covering tragic events and this one hit the hardest.

In the end I feel like I could have done more, and spoke to more people, I feel I should still be in Uvalde, I bought

posterboards and markers for everyone who couldn't be there to sign, and I never had the time to drop it off. I feel bad because I didn't ask around for interviews, because I would have provided uncut full length commentary, I feel bad because people begged for me to come back

the next day and I couldn't, and I wanted nothing more than to handcuff myself to a light pole in Austin so I didn't have a choice. Southern charm is a real thing, and a lot of people in Southern states have courtesy, compassion, and kindness we don't see as much in northern

states.

I want to thank the person who helped me out down there, they know who they are, and to my family who made the trip possible, because I couldn't afford it in a million years being demonitized and unemployed, and I want to thank everyone who watched, and learned, and took

the emotional toll with me, I may not be in Uvalde, but my heart is, and i'll do what I can to make sure the world doesn't forget what happened down there.

Much Love.

#UvaldeStrong #Uvalde #UvaldePolice #UvaldeschoolMassacre #RobbElementaryschool