Thread by @WhatIsABlizzard

So, not everyone who is #ActuallyAutistic likes being on the spectrum. People like to talk about how being Autistic is just thinking differently, but it's not just that. Feeling like an outsider. Not understanding conversations. Being dense. The knowledge that you'll always be

different. I know not everyone feels this way, but I do. Autism isn't "I think differently" to everyone. To a lot of people, there's the feeling of wanting to be like everyone else. Wishing that they weren't autistic. Shedding tears over something

you'll never get rid of. You start questioning if everything you do is "autism". "Maybe I wouldn't have done that if I wasn't autistic". "Maybe I could have did this if I wasn't autistic". You think it a lot, and it makes you depressed. How, to you, you were deprived

of a lot of joys in this world. Sure, people say "the world needs to change", but let's be honest. It's not happening anytime soon. Sure, there may be small groups here and there that are welcoming, but not the majority. In my opinion, I'd rather change myself.

I mean, to me, I'm the one who needs fixing. I'm broken. I'm not like everyone else. I'm 24, on SSI because the government deems me disabled. I live at home with my mom, and I doubt I'm moving anytime soon. I don't even have my license, and I dropped out of high school.

I AM a failure. It doesn't help that compared to my other autistic friends, I'm not doing too well.
Would I be like this if I wasn't on the spectrum? If I wasn't #ActuallyAutistic? I don't know, but, I know that my autism brings more negatives than positives.

This shit is a curse.

I wish there was a cure for this.
Then, I wish I was peer pressured into taking the cure.

Would maybe make life easier.