The new award for creepiest headline goes to... It's 2022 & editors are still placing this much emphasis on a woman's "virginity," a concept which should have been retired centuries ago, with made up quotes and a complete misunderstanding (and misrepresentation) of my asexuality.
At no point in the interview did I describe myself as a "virgin," neither did the journalist who wrote it up. I've said that I'm proud to be asexual but never that I'm a "proud virgin" because virginity isn't some kind of sacred badge of honour that increases a woman's worth.
There are countless women, asexual or not, who have no choice in whether or not they get to "keep their virginity." Virginity is not a reflection of anything but privilege and circumstance, and it isn't synonymous with asexuality. My orientation is not "lifelong virginity."
It's disturbing to me that someone would put these words in my mouth. It's disturbing that someone would read my story and only see a woman on a quest to keep my valuable hymen intact (let's be real, I'm 26, it's probably long gone regardless). We should be beyond this.
I have asked the journalist to tell the editor to remove everything they added about virginity from the article, which was written to sound like it's in the first person, but I did not write it myself. It still hadn't been done in its entirety.
But I want this to be an example of how backwards our culture still is, how misunderstood asexuality is (even when you explain it in depth) and how you really can't believe everything you read. I hope that no one else misinterpets my message this way.
This blew up, thank you all for your support and help! For those wanting to know more, I post lots of educational content about asexuality and aromanticism from a Black intersectional perspective on Instagram as well as here! 💜
Three days later, all of the "virginity" comments have been removed! Thank you all for your support! 💜
I do want to add this error was not the mistake of the writer/journalist but the editor who changed the piece. I didn't have a problem with the article or interview itself.
I hope people keep the same energy for factual information about asexuality as they do misinformation!
I'm going to be sharing lots of intersectional, educational content about asexuality (& aromanticism) this #PrideMonth on my platforms.
Just as I was feeling delighted about being nominated for another award, I noticed that a Conservative writer thought Valentine's would be a good time to write an article insinuating that I'm a "virginal" sexually manipulative witch and - strangely enough - a "modern mystery."
Journalists write these things under the impression that their dehumanised subjects won't issue any kind of response. It's part of our media culture that 'public figures' put up and shut up. But they're meant to be all about free speech, so let's just call this a critique.
1. I haven't been in The Guardian since March 2021, in an article that featured two white asexual male activists to the same degree as myself. But I'm the only one who triggers this kind of article almost a year later? I wonder why?