Gaurav Sabnis Profile picture
Jun 17 11 tweets 3 min read
Dunzo-fication and Swiggy-fication of the Indian military, given pious sounding names like #AgnipathRecruitmentScheme and #Agniveer cos BJP thinks giving anything a Sanskrit name is the extent of its governing duties.
WhatsApp uncles repeating IT cell talking point of "you can still join army the conventional way, this is just an option" are being shamelessly dishonest.

There has been no recruitment of Jawans in the Indian army since 2020. What conventional way?
After a 2.5 year hiring freeze for a job that requires training young men for physical fitness, aggression & willingness to kill, the Indian govt announced a recruitment scheme in which 75% Jawans, even if flawless, will be fired.

And are shocked SHOCKED at violent protests.
"Opposition is behind the rioting"

Arre baba how long will you keep using this false excuse? If the opposition were coordinated enough to do things on this scale, you think you would be in power?

This is between BJP & young men training to join the army for years.
"Age limit raised to 23 for a year, so go home, cos this is an awesome scheme."

When you have to amend the scheme within a day of announcing it, clearly it isn't an awesome scheme.

Rollback is imminent. They'll just let the country burn a little more for polarizing people.
After not hiring any Jawans for almost 3 years, the gormint is saying look at this awesome new scheme in which you give us your years 17-22, and then even if you're all awesome, we will take 75% of you, give you $15K & a handshake. And find new bakras.

Pension? Socialist!!😡
"misguided youth don't realize that they can still join army by the regular route" is the spin.

Reality is that youth don't trust you to keep regular recruitment the same. You haven't done it since 2020 as if only you were hit by covid.

This is too big a lie to sell, sanghis!
Anyone supporting #AgnipathRecruitmentScheme is either
- Ignorant about the long recruitment freeze & how many young men try to become Jawans for the job security & pension
Or
- arrogant enough to think everything their guy does is genius
Or
- Wants the country to polarize more
This is a brand new faultline that the sangh has opened up in the country. This doesn't even fall along the traditional divides.

BJP thinks that the more divides it creates & violent protests it provokes, the more loyal the base will stay to it. Can't rely on governance na.
The rest of the world is slowly but surely bouncing back from the covid funk. Modi however, instead of returning the country to something like normalcy, opens up new widespread faultlines everyday. And then whines that the opposition is creating trouble. When he is!
Our national motto literally used to be Jai Jawan Jai Kisaan (Victory to Soldiers, Victory to Farmers). No one thought of them as bad guys.

Sanghis spent last year turning farmers into villains. And now are trying to turn potential soldiers into villains.

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More from @gauravsabnis

Jun 18
Putting band-aid on a fire you started instead of using a fire extinguisher.
What!!???

It's like they have never actually met someone wanting to join the military! How is offering paramilitary jobs after a concession?

If anything, it is confirmation that #Agnipath is dunzo-fication of the Indian military. A slap in the face.

Also, why is the Home Ministry jumping into what is clearly a Defense Ministry matter?
Read 4 tweets
Jun 18
"Dad and Pizza: An Epiphany"

Growing up, I thought of Dad as an unadventurous eater & very much a gharcha jevan (home food) junkie. Mom, though a no-eggs vegetarian, has always been very adventurous in terms of restaurants & cuisines. I thought I got my foodie gene from her. /1
Dad took us to restaurants. But he rarely enjoyed the food. He loved a good vadapav, misal, all Marathi and Indori street food.

But other stuff, he found meh. We'd go home & he'd eat leftover poli bhaaji and THEN look satiated.

He was okay being called a non foodie.
He eats eggs regularly. Makes the best Indian style omelets in the world. He eats some fish and poultry and mutton, but doesn't really relish it the way I do. Basically Dad was never one to suggest a "non-veg" restaurant. He preferred simple Thalis.

Very comfort zone guy.
Read 19 tweets
Jun 17
Dad used the lockdown to learn Urdu from online resources. He now spends most of his free time reading Urdu literature on his iPad.

Almost everyone who hears this applauds a 70 y.o. learning a new script & expanding his vocabulary.

ALMOST everyone. 🙄

He told me of a chat...
.. With an acquaintance who heard of this & said sarcastically

"Learning Urdu? Good! Learn it, then read Quran & decode it for us Hindu people also so we can understand what "their" problem is."

My dad is a nice guy, not acerbic like me. He tried to explain the flaw in this.
Dad: Abeyaar, you think Quran was written in Urdu? The original is in Arabic. Urdu is an Indian language. The Urdu Quran is not that different from a Hindi Quran. 🤷🏽‍♂️

Sanghi Uncle: Arre Urdu Arabic is all same to us.

Dad: Urdu is an Indian language 🤦🏽‍♂️

(Nice that he tried)
Read 5 tweets
Jun 17
First big domino to fall.

Last semester, one of the projects for my ug mkt strat class was Cosmetics analytics using @clootrack data. And this was a very clear trend. Decline of legacy brands with euro-centric skews & SKUs with rise of diverse social media influencers & celebs.
The legacy players thought Fenty was just yet another celebrity vanity project for Rihanna (😍🥹) fans. Celebs have launched cosmetics brands and clothing labels as a side project.

But Fenty was something else altogether! A digital juggernaut in an analog arrogant world.
One of my groups analyzed data about Cover Girl and compared it to influencer driven brands. And one student nailed it.
"Cover Girl is an anachronistic brand name from an age where we wanted to look like cover girls. Today we want cover girls to look like us. 🤷🏽‍♂️"
Read 4 tweets
Jun 17
Tell me you're a casteist without telling me you're a casteist. 🙄🙄

Anyone who extols India's "cheap labor" as an advantage is celebrating the casteism based inequality we perpetuate that lets 10% elites have West-ish lives while paying sub Saharan wages to 90% labor force.
Dude seems like the kind of guy who, if he lived in 1860 USA, would say that life in the southern states like South Carolina had the advantage of "cheap labor" compared to northern states like Massachusetts.

This "Indian cheap labor is a feature" crowd is really the worst.
People be who feel proud at their kids getting crore salaries after MBA then turn around and feel proud that "my luxurious Uber from Bombay airport to Pune cost less than a 10 km taxi from JFK to Manhattan" without even a hint of irony.

Cheap labor is a bug not feature.
Read 11 tweets
Jun 16
Hehe, interesting side story here about why Brazil is the only Portuguese speaking country in LatAm. The Portuguese lost India to the English & Indonesia to the Dutch, but they managed to grab a pretty big chunk of real estate in South America that should have been Spain's!
Columbus was an Italian getting no interest in Italy cos Italy already had great trade links with the east. So he took his idea of sailing west for India to Portugal. Who correctly said dude, yes, Earth is round, but India is way farther that way than you think. Bye bye.
So he went to Spain, where the Isabella & Ferdinand, lucky couple, said yes to his absolutely batshit ridiculous plan of sailing west to reach India quicker than by the traditional route or even rounding Africa, like Portugal planned to do.

Portugal was the rational party here.
Read 15 tweets

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