Thread by @LordNefarious4

This #IndependenceDay I thought I would take some time to remind you of the order of things. Which is another way of saying I didn’t exactly come here to humble brag.

How do I know your civilization is on its last legs? Let me count the ways…

1) Even your recent wins at the Supreme Court are on issues that are 20 years too late to make a difference. For example, we will still get to execute and/or experiment on millions of children, and the soul-murder via our prideful degradation continues unabated.

2) Outside a few exceptions, you have no agency or representation capable of politically putting a dent in our gains. Your “red wave” this fall will still produce plenty of our own sleeper cells taking office. Or politicians so week they might as well be asleep.

3) Your master plan appears to be WAIT MORE THAN TWO YEARS for either the Cheeto meatbag or the Florida blowhard to become president. The amount of further damage we will do until then will make their elections all but irrelevant by then, even if we let them win.

4) Much of your opposition to our dominion consists of human striving/philosophy. You do very little to provoke the providence of “you-know-who”. And that is your own choice, because you need a big tent or something and wouldn’t dare want to offend.

5) The inflationary spending and COVID lockdowns that ruined your economy began under the preceding administration, and have been exacerbated by the current one. Another reminder it’s always heads we win, tails you lose, each election.

6) Our movements and leaders have no fear of dear old dad at all, and continue to brazenly flaunt their rebellion, which demoralizes your ranks. Because what will you do? Oh, no, don’t make Mitch McConnell Senate Majority Leader. We’re quaking in our scaly skin over here.

7) I saved this one for you-know-who’s special number. Your churches are so weak that many of them wouldn’t even commemorate the overturning of Roe, let alone give him worshipful thanks for it. You have no spiritual infrastructure whatsoever. Thus, you’re naked and afraid.

8) We have smartly left you with enough of your creature comforts to keep you comfortably numb, and therefore unwilling to pay the price necessary to salvage your heritage. So, by all means, go see Top Gun again…and again…and again…and get extra butter on the tub-o-corn tubby!

9) If you doubt our confidence, ask your children and grandchildren what they really think about the issues of the day, and value the most. Many of them will vote for our pathetics again should you nominate another boomer POTUS candidate just out of emotional spite. So, YOLO!

10) Finally, my favorite is the way you self-censor to avoid being banned from platforms that already censor you! You meatbgs are a laugh-a-minute!

Happy #July4th!