Thread by @chaibaba

Time for another installment of #30yrsAgoToday
We last left off with three of us leaving Chiang Mai on a train after losing all my money in a blackjack game & being arrested for pot possession. It was a cosmic kick to the jewels to say the least that required a deep soul dig.

From my journal:
The afternoon was pretty much routine for Ayutthaya: go to market, drop off film, buy a paper, get some fruit (rambutan!! yum!!), slop down a fruit shake, pick up the film, go back to BJ's and read or chat for a while.

Then, later that day I started to untangle the mess inside of me, and it was pretty profound. More from my journal:
To be on the travelling road in foreign places can be very weary. When bad luck comes your way and knocks you down for an eight count

you can tend to feel rather unattractive to both yourself and others...but when you acknowledge that primal light of beauty and strength inside of you and start to pull yourself up, others will be there to lend you a hand. They are also able to see that primal light of

beauty inside no matter how bruised and battered and smudged it may be. The key though is you have to be aware of that simple beauty inside yourself first. Make the attempt to pull yourself up, shake those cobwebs out of your mind and dust yourself off. Someone will always

be there to lend a hand if you show a little bit of that light. People like Bronwyn, Alex and Sandra lent me the hand of making me feel good and loved and attractive. People like Jan, Annika and Paul lent me a hand in making me smile and dance and laugh.

John and Justin touched a spot so deep in my soul that they are one with me. I can't go home now. I have to keep pushing on. John and Justin are going to aid me financially and more important, spiritually. The three of us are aiding each other on this journey.

The people I've met and really connected with are reinforcing my dreams. They are showing me I'm still on the right road...or at least pointing in the right direction. I've got to go on to the Himalaya! That is my destiny on this journey. From there I'll see where I need to go.

All I can see clearly on my journey is the Himalaya. The route from there could go in myriad directions. I'll find out which one when the time comes. The realization I'm being intensely struck with at this moment is that in one form or another, everyone has been pointing me to

the Himalaya. Can you say, 'shit eating grin'! I hope you can!

This was a powerful moment to say the least. I'd had many 'whoa' stoner realizations before and even plenty of other mind-expanding moments but this? This was soul expanding. This became part of my foundation, part

of who I am now & how I look at the universe, the world, all her people...myself. I had no idea what lay ahead but I knew the direction, I had my humility, my gratefulness for those around me & I could shit without toilet paper. The world was my oyster. Time to find the pearl!