Thread by @unknowncomrade

some people may know, especially @JanetHFife and @Petra20250339 that i went through a 2-year ordeal with my ex-church, all saints margaret street, where i was ejected from the serving team despite receiving praise internationally for my serving, had my access to the sacraments

rejected and effectivey denied all pastoral care, because of 2 autistic meltdowns and suicide attempts that occured in and outside church outside of service hours. despite numerous please from friends and kind strangers, the church refused to show any mery and let me back into

my former church life which were so important to me, autistic comforts. @JanetHFife encouraged me to submit a SAR to the church and this is what we got. after i explained to fr michael, the assistant priest, why the environment and circumstances that day caused the meltdown,

he and the vicar fr peter mocked me and called my explanation manipulative:

all my emails to fr michael were fwded to the vicar. my questions about theology weren't answered because they were from me. it doesn't take much brain to see that someone else asking the same questions would get an answer. (andy is andrew munro, london safeguarding officer,

who was used as a catch-all buck-accepter and an excuse not to engage with me or my advocates directly.

giving no reason, i was denied my usual weekly confession with my regular confessor fr michael, an autistic routine for me that brought me comfort. anothe confessor was brought in, which created unfamiliarity and disorientatin that was very distressing. instead of investigating

the matter, this was the internal response. my complaint about this confession was later used to 'prove' that i should be denied confessions altogether for my slander of this priest

i was also asked to sign a 'conduct agreement' to say that i will attend 8 weekday and 8 weekend masses in total without incident and only use the congregational toilet. then a meeting will be granted where i may get my serving role back and be fully included as a member

of the church again allowed to received pastoral and spiritual support with no restrictions on the sacraments. conregational witnesses will tell you that i fulfilled the 'agreement' meticulously, even as it pained me that my meltdowns and mental illness were seen as a 'conduct'

problem. however, the church and diocesan safeguarding department had never intended to honour their end of the agreeement:

throughout this ordeal, friends, strangers and advocates, including @JanetHFife have written to the bp of fulham, the archdeacon and the church leaders asking for mediation and for the meeting that was promised me as so far i hadn't been given a voice in all this...

this is where all your pleas ended up: (the complaints were ABOUT the safeguarding dept itself)

for an added kindness, here's their kind congratulations of my acceptance into oxford

i was also blamed for not being able to be 'responsible' for' and control my autistic meltdowns and self-injurious behaviour

and wished away to join the roman catholic church instead

as mentioned, part of my autistic routine was weekly confessions with fr michael, but as a punitive measure i was only allowed confession planned one week in advance with a different priest. they seemed to take delight in my distress over ths:

throughout these emails about me, i was referred to as 'the zimin front', 'the zimin thing' - i who happen to a person charged by god into their cure of souls

and of course if you haven't finished your daily dose of mockery of a disabled person:

after describing the horrors of being sectioned (faeces of the floor, no blankets, bright lights and loud sounds that are torture for the autistic) and begging for his prayers, this message between the preists:

apparently the find my inability to find pastoral and sacramental provision, becase of their own denial of these provisions to me such that I have to turn to RC cathedrals, very funny

in response to praise from here and across the pond about my serving abilities, instead of finding a way to accommodate me in one of my only comforts, they decided to replace me without showing me any appreciation or the impact of my contribution. (the latst says

'congratulations to the impressive young server' under an original asms tweet about a low mass i served at. the tweet, and all references to my existence there as a server, has since been removed

forgot to mention that while the 'conduct agreement' generously allowed me to use only to use the outhouse toilet, during an evening mass i felt very unwell due to slight hypothermia and vomited and begged to use that very toilet. but both the churchwarden and vicar demanded that

i walk all the way down to oxford street, while in a fainting spell, to use the toilet at m&s, with the vicar saying, 'we all know very well what's going on here'. only sweet jesus in his manger knows what that means.

also can someone tell me the GDPR legality of forwarding someone's personal emails against their will for a year and then laughing about them to each other?

at the bloodied feet of this crucifix is this moving letter by my close friend to bpoffulham which we've seen was unlikely to have read it. perhaps the most revd @JustinWelby will. (btw, i hope the clergy involved realise the racism of falsely equating chinese names w china and

casually dismissing correspondence because they come from 'another chinese name'. none of these please came from china, but so what if they did?

"God help the outcasts, the tattered, the torn.
Seeking an answer to why they were born.
Winds of misfortune have blown them about.
You made the outcasts, don't cast them out.
The poor and unlucky, the weak and the odd.
I thought we all were the children of God."

here are just some of the mass stipends and simple gifts of love i spent so much time, effort and energy on for fr michael. this is besides polishing brass and wood for the church, preparing frontals and lecterns, ironing and folding linens, preparing vessels for mass,

mending clergy's cassocks, clearing up the altar after mass, replacing votive candles etc. i did it all willingly because it made me happy to serve god, to love her church and my fathers in christ. i don't even know how to express my pain now

knowing that as i was serving & loving the church and her fathers they saw me as nothing but a burden, the sooner ridden off the better, that while i was loving them as god told as to love one another, they didn't even grant me the privilige of hatred—to them i wasn't even human.

i was vermin. i was a pest. to hate someone—that is to acknowledge that they exist. to ignore someone and wish them gone and mock their existence, an existence that sacrificed for them out of love—that is declaring that she doesn't even exist or doesn't deserve to.

i don't think this pain will ever go away. it has genuinely made me doubt the existence of a just and loving god. but while i can, i will wait with mary at the foot of the cross, she who must've thought her mangled son's mocked, naked body was the end,

the promises of her magnificat utterly, painfully betrayed. still she stood there while others fled. i stand, like mary, thinking this is the end. no justice. no redemption. no reconciliation. mary help me, let me never lose my god. pray for me the ending god finally gave you.

Btw if you're looking for the exact church it's @ASMSLondon
#churchofengland #cofe #anglocatholic @dioceseoflondon

Update: the diocesan disability advisor, after reading through my ordeal, suggested that we complain to archdeacon adam. well guess who's side he's been on the whole time? as mentioned previously, my complaints against fr peter mcgeary were genuine and distressing

yes, it's the archdeacon enabling the vicar Fr Peter's manipulation my complaint about a distressing and abusive confession with another priest into a portrayal of my manipulation of the sacrament, as a cruel excuse to deny me the essential sacrament of reconciliation entirely

and here's more evidence of the mishandling of complaints and a complete lack of interest to listen, understand, mediate, reconcile - basically all of jesus' teachings