This is genuinely

a Fundamental Thread

that all parents of autistic kids and autism professionals should read.

Parents are grieving expectations of their own idealistic kid.

Late-diagnosed autistic adults are grieving a lost and misunderstood childhood and continued gaslighting of their experiences.

Those two things are very, very different.
To be clear, parents of autistic kids are allowed to have emotions and work through them, but it's important to recognize that there is a whole autistic human being right in front of you who needs love, support, acceptance, and understanding. And not to be seen as a burden.
This thread also address the common assumption that autistic kids don't know they're different until someone uses the word "autistic" in front of them.

So many of us knew we were different. We just didn't know why or have a label for it. Having a label for it doesn't change you.

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh

Keep Current with AutisticSciencePerson, MSc

AutisticSciencePerson, MSc Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!


Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @AutSciPerson

Jul 19
Although I generally don't use Microsoft Edge, my favorite feature of it is being able to read PDF files aloud.

When my eyes get tired/tension pain from reading a lot (like for an election) being able to listen to a document at 2X speed instead of reading is really helpful.
I tried to find out how to get Google Docs to read aloud but it was harder to find out how to do that than just make a PDF and open in Edge.

It's also a good way to process stuff if you've written something over and over again and want a "fresh look" at it.
I think the read-aloud ability has actually gotten better since I've started using it too. I'm chose the "Microsoft Christopher Online (Natural) Voice" as the voice and it's surprisingly good sounding tbh.
Read 5 tweets
Jul 19
Autism professionals: "you're not qualified to speak about autism!"

Me: *takes 7 years to get a masters in neuroscience*

Parent: "You're not a real autistic!"

Which one is it? 🤦
Like, how dare we ever listen to autistic people about their experiences because they don't have "real" qualifications,

But if they do have them, they lose all credibility as a "real autistic person."

They actually think having a diploma makes you less autistic.
And then if they talk to an autistic person who went to college but had to drop out it's now "well at least you were able to go to college!"

Again, moving the goal posts for what a "real autistic" is.
Read 8 tweets
Jul 18
If you are part of a marginalized group,

you are not required to "play nice" in order to make your community "not look bad."

You are not required to stop speaking up about issues.

You are not required to validate other people's feelings that hurt you and your community.

I can be, in many circumstances, often more patient than most when it comes to educating parents about autism. Most of the time, I am happy to do that, especially when I know a parent is coming from a good place.

However, no marginalized person is -required- to give other people that patience when they use triggering language or talk about upsetting things.

You do not owe anyone a certain "tone" or politeness in the face of discrimination or gaslighting or misinformation.

Read 7 tweets
Jul 18
I'm going to say this once:

No parent should be "grieving" their child about finding out their identity.

This includes:
Being ND/autistic
Being gay
Being trans
Being left-handed

You are allowed to have feelings! You're allowed to process those feelings!

But, and this is the important part, you are not grieving a person.

You are grieving your own expectations, and have fears and concerns about your kid growing up in this society.

*That* is the loss. You lost a perception. Not the child right in front of you.

And if you're still thinking "Why did you put left-handed on the list?"

It's because currently that doesn't give the same stigma as everything else on that list does. If you don't grieve for left-handedness, because you can expect that possibility,

Read 7 tweets
Jul 18
When you actually found information about some local candidates,

and find out that someone running for Board of Education has an autistic kid, and yet wants *more* police in schools. 😬
Also, the "police in schools" seems to be a hot topic for voting right now.

I had SROs (school resource officers) at my high school.

I'm white.

I never once thought I should greet them. I never once saw "community engagement" or "developing relationships" with students.
I never once thought that I was safer because they existed. I was (weirdly?) terrified that if I was in the hallway ever without a hall pass that they'd yell at me or something bad would happen.

And I've never even had bad experiences.

They are NOT helpful or community building
Read 4 tweets
Jul 18
The thing that really bothers me is the complete lack of information about people who are running for county or even state positions.

It's absurd to me that there's not an easily accessible list of democratic governors with answers to all the same subjects.
Why do I have to watch a 1-hour video and try to remember all of their names?

and yes there are websites like 411 vote, but even THAT website had the vaguest answers to questions which makes deciding on candidates completely unhelpful. Like most of the answers had no substance.
And that's talking about state governor positions, not even things like board of elections or county judges. This should seriously not be that hard to find. It's like they want people to not know who they're voting for esp. in primaries.
Read 6 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Don't want to be a Premium member but still want to support us?

Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal

Or Donate anonymously using crypto!


0xfe58350B80634f60Fa6Dc149a72b4DFbc17D341E copy


3ATGMxNzCUFzxpMCHL5sWSt4DVtS8UqXpi copy

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!