a. gave consideration to every advice I was ever given
b. never advised anyone else unless they asked for it (or I was obligated to do so), and
c. never once made a judgement on anyone.
Now, I know…
Now, I know —
a. which advice is false,
b. how to judge *ideas and actions*
c. and most importantly, I know m y s e l f.
Don’t give advice unless you’re asked.
Don’t reject (sincere) advice unless you consider it.
Don’t concern yourself with others unless you’re their guardian.
The Divine Judge is the One Who matters.
He knows everything.
He never wrongs anyone.
He never makes a mistake.
Allah’s infinite peace & blessings be upon Rasūlullāh, his pure progeny & folk, gleaming companions, illuminated inheritors & all loyal followers until the Last Day
Mistakes in judgement are inevitable.
Make “good mistakes”, you’ll learn the right lessons.
Make bad mistakes, you’ll learn the wrong lessons and think you know.
Don’t make the mistakes that wrong others.
Make the mistake of one who gave good opinion where it wasn’t deserved.
Among the immense evils of social media is occupation with others, with issues outside of one’s religious responsibility (and even scope of influence), and a delusional set of “principles” that govern judgement. Social media is severely anti-tarbiya, teaching the wrong lessons…
Tarbiya is the teaching of good lessons. A form of teaching that imbues deep morality and clarity. In Traditional Islamic societies, tarbiya was imparted in the home, in the masjid, and in the Islamic civilizational ethos passed down through the generations.
When you judge others instead of yourself, what you’re really saying is — I don’t matter, you’re the one who is important. Judging others is actually a sign of lacking *religious self-esteem*, a virtually extinct concept…
The reason people are so inadept at judging ideas and actions is because they are blinded by *personal* judgements.
This is just one way that tasawwuf affects scholarship.
True scholarship judges based on sacred knowledge, not ego…
Sacred knowledge is not attached to people. It is attached to Allah and His Messenger ﷺ.
May Allah’s infinite peace & blessings be upon Rasūlullāh, his pure progeny & folk, gleaming companions, illuminated inheritors and all loyal followers until the Last Day.
Practical example?
There are certain actions that I’ve spiritually trained myself upon for decades.
When a “shaykh” accuses me of the exact opposite, I’m absolutely sure he is “advising” from his ego or he’s an imposter.
It was a difficult time in my life and I vowed to persevere and to proceed with determination in my pursuit of knowledge. At that time, I was searching for a guide and was sending salawat upon Rasūlullāh ﷺ profusely…
One day, as I was praying, in my sujud, I heard a caller say,
“Go to the Qutb of your time.”
In my heart, I asked, “Who is he?”
I stayed in sujud, making dhikr, hoping for an answer, but there was none.
I prayed an extra prayer, hoping to know who is the Qutb…
What is immensely strange is that the word “qutb” was unknown to me at the time. After the prayer, I began searching for its meaning and came to know that it refers to a saint so great that he represents the axis of the spiritual world on Earth. Now, I was even more eager…
(as I’ve mentioned repeatedly in my posts/podcasts)
Simple answer —
اتباع الهوى في العمل يؤدي إلى اتباع الهوى في العلم
Following whims in action leads to the same in knowledge.
We ask for Allah’s ‘afiya.
The mind cannot ever escape the heart.
إذا صلح صلح الجسد كله
Article forthcoming.
May Allah’s infinite peace & blessings be upon Rasūlullāh, his pure progeny & folk, along with his gleaming companions, illuminated inheritors and all his loyal followers until the Last Day.
This is why, in thriving marriages, men who consult their wives when indecisive (like the greatest of creation ﷺ - Umm Salama - Hudaybiya) are fabulously successful in marriage and beyond.
In a beautiful marriage, your wife becomes your feedback receptor — your heart.
May Allah’s infinite peace & blessings be upon Rasūlullāh, his pure progeny & folk, along with his gleaming companions, illuminated inheritors and all his loyal followers until the Last Day.
What happens in a bad marriage?
Every time wife expresses a negative emotion, dissatisfaction, or voices her perspective, husband gets angry.
Why?
Because she is his ego, not his heart.
Her negative emotions make him feel low just like his ego makes him feel worthless.
I promised this brother that his #dm is next. I devote a whole section to this in my #UpcomingBook from a fiqhi and social perspective, so I can only give a limited response here. I commend the brother for asking a female scholar….
1 Of the subtitles in the book is “Men need a wali too” Think of the wali as the gatekeeper of your heart, your intellect, your executive functioning. For the mentally healthy, this component discerns benefit and harm. For adherent Muslims, this component thinks in terms of fiqh.
2 Don’t open the gate of your heart to just anyone. A prospect must pass your ‘wali-test’ first. In our times, marriage has become complicated. Additionally, abstinent Muslims have little to no relationship learning, putting them at great disadvantage in evaluating a prospect.
قيدوا العلم بالكتابة
Capture knowledge by writing.
Since the early days of my talab and until recently I’ve applied this adab by progressively increasing my speed of simultaneous listening and recording. This is the modern form of note-taking that we’re most familiar with.
While it was useful, this isn’t the classical application of the adab. Rather, students would be fully attentive to the Shaykh, intending comprehension & memorization. Then, they’d commit to writing what they’d already committed to memory. Think — Biqā’i’s comments on Ibn Hajar.
I’ve recently attempted this and found it to be an excellent exercise.
First, it challenged me to have lightening-quick recall of previous knowledge. Not only did this quicken my cognitive speed, it also showed me what I really know. Think — Ghazali and the book robbers.
Sufis often use the second person feminine to denote the divine presence. In much of sufi poetry, the feminine spirit represents Divine beauty, for it is only through the attributes of Mercy, Care, and Love that God allows his servants to draw near to Him…
For the deeply righteous, the divine presence is an alluring force. The submission of the ego (male) to the divine (female) is portrayed as voluntary surrended to one’s beloved. As the soul is purified, its yearning is amplified…
Thus, we find sufis (such as Ibn Ajiba) differentiating between شوق and اشتياف, the former being an ardent desire that is fulfilled upon meeting, while the later is an ever-increasing passion that only grows with union…