Thread by @EveKeneinan

Of course, there's probably a GOOD REASON no one knows any Wonder Woman villains.

I mean, with a Rogue's Gallery like hers ...

Egg Fu

Then there's THEM!

A gang of female supervillains (and I use that term loosely) consisting of

Moose Mama
Top Hat
....

I can't even be fucked to find the other one's name.

Mouse Man

Badra and Eviless

Wonder Woman sure gets put in bondage a lot

I mean, she and Steve were both made slaves on Saturn, so that is a thing that happened.

Note that she's barefoot.

That was a thing for several more issues, before she got some new boots made.

I was going to keep on with Wonder Woman's terrible villains, but I'm not going to top Egg Fu.

Shouldn't have led with him.

But I am going to find out how many issues of Wonder Woman it took before she ended up in bondage.

Gonna guess ... issue 1.

Here's more Egg Fu while you wait.

"Foolish Amelicans ... they might just as well pless a tligger against their own blains!"

They did rework Egg Fu as Chang Tzu, and made him a lot less ... um ... "racially problematic."

Still a yellow egg ... thing. Still a Chinese super-science villain.

Side note: This from Wonder Woman #1, in 1942.

Remember this the next time "progressives" claim there were no women in comics prior to 2015 or something.

They just lie about that, endlessly.

I was right.

She gets netted and then ... chained to an elephant in issue 1.

By some sort of evil elephant cult.

And that elephant is high AF.

Still issue 1 ...

This just keeps happening to Wonder Woman

Still issue 1 ...

This isn't Wonder Woman bondage, but I can't let this go.

Issue 2. Takes Wonder Woman until page 4 to be put in bondage ...

Honestly, she spends more time restrained in some way than not!

Oh, and bound girl-fights.

And spanking.

Does sucking on your neck chain really help you hear better?

I'm pressing X to doubt here ...

Is this really a legit use of her magic lasso?

"Giving way to a strange impulse which sometimes possesses him, Hitler bites the rug. Then suddenly his weird brain receives the Martian radio message"

has got be one of the best panel captions EVER!

Wonder Woman's a statue now.

And is it just me or is there something sus about "college nurse"'s pose here?

Well, she doesn't get tied up WITH HER OWN LASSO until issue 2.

That's good, I guess.

You go, girl.

Tape bondage!

Still issue 2

"My feminine vanity won't let me pull out my eyelashes! I'll have to escape blindfolded!"

Aaaaand we're back to spanking people until they obey ...

And here I thought they mainly deflected bullets!

Turns out if man chains Wonder Woman's "bracelets of submission" together, she looses all powers.

They more you know!

Okay, I'm having too much fun with Wonder Woman's early days.

Here's a Wonder Woman moment from Justice League Animated that I really do like:

I have always loved Flash's expression and his "There are so many reasons why that shouldn't have worked."

Wonder Woman deflecting lightning with her (metal) bracers.

Lest you think all the Wonder Woman bondage is the bad guys tying her up ...

Meanwhile, back on Paradise Island ...

And then half the Amazons put on their fur-suits and the other Amazons hunted them down while riding on kangaroos.

You know, so they could pretend to skin and eat the captured doe-girls.

You may THINK I am KIDDING, but I HAVE RECEIPTS:

"The Baroness left in an invisible boat—crazy as it sounds!"

THE INVISIBLE PLANE IS LITERALLY PARKED RIGHT BEHIND YOU DIANA.

What ... is wrong with her eye?

No. No it is not.

It took her until issue 3 to become a lesbian Nazi mind-slave.

Really, it's the realism of the art that makes us BELIEVE Wonder Woman can deflect bullets!

That gun!

I guess ONE way to deal with a Nazi slave-Mistress is to take her back to Paradise Island and enslave her ...

Not sure Captain America would have gone that route ...

I like how she lets her keep smoking through the bondage strip search.

The Nazi is still around, by the way.

She's a Valkyrie or something and apparently they hate Amazons.

And don't worry all!

Wonder Woman is till Wonder Woman!

2016

And Steve's black now, because why wouldn't he be?

Meanwhile, back in 1942

The girl disobey because they like to be disciplined.

"Run, run — the monkey men are here! The Japanese are upon us!"

Don't look at me. I'm just the messenger.

Bondage and mind-rape? A-OK.

Taking away his pipe? She's not heartless!

Also "Mama spank" ?

Issue 4. They aren't even hiding it.

OK :

This dude apparently sees this woman as his slave girl.
This is Very Bad.
But Wonder Woman can "cure" him.
How?
By turning him into the woman's slave, of course.
Female domination is the real answer to those awful ... MEN.

"Learning to submit is the real test of manhood."

But, sadly, Elva gives in to "a prehistoric flood of feminine feelings" and "as Elva submits to Ivar's domination, his male conceit instantly returns."

Women submitting to men = BAD; TOXIC MEN

Men submitting to women: GOOD!

Meanwhile, while Wonder Woman is busy trying to make the dude into the woman's slave, back at her secret lair, the Nazi (who now works for her) is busily doing her mind-control thing to turn a billionaires into Wonder Woman's personal mind-slaves.

How does a woman learn how to be dominant over her male slaves?

How could you not have guessed?

By submitting to lesbian bondage and strict discipline back on Paradise Island!

DUH.

Shee ... it's not even thinly veiled subtext anymore ...

I'm done for now. The lesbian and femdom bondage and discipline is now literally driving the plot. They aren't even TRYING to do superhero stuff anymore.

That said, I saw the splash panel of the next story.

You couldn't possibly be shocked that ... it's Wonder Woman in bondage.

Okay, I said I was done but ...

Did you know that Wonder Woman's bracelets are actually cuffs of submission?

Me neither.

This is a thing Amazons do, apparently ...

Here is the note I WILL end on for the night.

Aphrodite chastises a kneeling Wonder Woman for TWO faults

1 She wasn't a strict enough Mistress to her Nazi slavegirl

2 She let another slavegirl GO FREE

I am, again, not making this up. This is a thing that happened.

Okay, one more, to end issue 4. 4! We're just on FOUR!

"Some girls are not good unless they are tied up."

"She must wear chains!"
"No chains can hold me!"
"You'll learn to love them!"

Steve Trevor: 2 + 2 = ??? ionno

"How come you're wearing Wonder Woman's earrings, Diana? How come? HOW COME?"

You can ship your slavegirls to Paradise Island to live in chains ... you can have your Nazi slavegirl use her mind-control tech on them ... but these things don't proved the INSTANT submission and obedience of Wonder Woman's magic lasso — of which there's unfortunately just one.

Never fear! Wonder Woman is on it!

Step 1: Have your Nazi slavegirl super-scientist beam you to Venus

Meanwhile, it isn't just Amazons and Paradise Island.

Lots of bondage and spanking going on at the local sorority, because why wouldn't it be?

Paddles and rug-beaters ...

So ... enter the Golden Girdles of Venus, of which hereafter Wonder Woman will have a seemingly endless supply.

They lock on your waist and make you obey and submit!

Good times.

This is Joye Hummel Murchison Kelly.

She was hired as Wonder Woman creator William Moulton Marston's secretary — at first she typed the handwritten scripts but was soon writing them. Anonymously, under Marston's "Charles Moulton" pseudonym.

Lest you think all the Wonder Woman kink and bondage stuff was "the male gaze" or whatever trope feminists have this week.

Nor are the bondage themes an artifact of the weird past.

2018, Wonder Woman still ending up in chains.

The Amazon deer furry suits are still a thing ...

Well, when you say it like THAT ...