CW TW? food, coercion

Sometimes I wonder if my reluctance to eat food sitting right in front of me was the years of

Why didn't you finish your food?
It's one bite, can't you just try it? How do you know you won't like it?
Now that you had a bite can you try one more?

CW TW? food

There are people starving in other countries!
It's just pepper, I can barely taste it, it's not spicy at all!
*Uncle* Now I expect you to eat all of the crust because it's nutritional and good for you *me gagging on the last bite of crust to get adult approval*

CW TW? food

Everytime I see food sitting in front of me, even if I'm hungry, and I just don't find it particularly appetizing, I think feelings from coercion and shame show up.

If you feel like that, please remember that if your body doesn't want that food, that's okay.

CW TW? food

Even if someone was kind and made you something and then it turns out you didn't want it or you literally can't eat it, and you have to eat your safe food instead or you waited until it got too cold to eat,

you're allowed to listen to your body and its needs.

CW food

You are not a Bad Person for not eating what's on your plate, not being able to stomach it, finding it too spicy/salty/bland/grainy/slimy/etc. You're not a bad person for not wanting to try new foods. And you're certainly not a bad person for eating your safe food.

CW food

Eating with nutrition in mind is something adults teach children. But it often comes with shame. I felt so bad when my siblings would complain that I "never eat all of my food" and it just made things worse. No one should be made to feel bad for their food limits.

CW food

In case anyone's wondering what prompted this thread, I've had food sitting in front of me for the last 15 minutes, ready to eat.

And I'm reminding myself that that's okay.



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Aug 1
Last thing I'll say about camps in general and how it may be hard for an autistic person:

Many coaches and other mentor figures create authoritative statements ("make sure to be here and ready exactly at X!").

I had to remember that there were also children at the camp. But honestly, that didn't make it much better, it actually made it worse. Because I remember how I felt when I couldn't meet the standards of adults in extracurricular activities. I felt horrible.

I was 10 minutes late to the camp one day this weekend and I felt genuinely guilty even though it takes me 150% willpower to wake up early compared to other people. See, autistic people are going to interpret this literally ("you must" "you need to") unlike others.

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Here's why:

As a person who did not have a wheelchair, spaces were actually more inaccessible for me than for wheelchair users.

For example, at lunch time they had outdoor tables..

and no chairs were set up. You had to get your own chair if you wanted to sit down. Waiting in line was a lot more difficult for me since I had to stand, so the first time we had lunch I sat in a chair until most of the line went through so I didn't have to stand.

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Abled people when they see me using crutches:
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When you want to bond with friends, see how other people are joking, and use nearly the exactly same words in a later interaction, and get

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Because it's more likely that I'm being *intentionally mean* than that I'm joking.

Talk about assumptions.
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Cis people -

If you assume that misgendering or deadnaming a trans friend/peer/colleague is "not a big deal" and that you really don't need to change your language at all until the trans person continually corrects you or brings it up directly,

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All of Them.

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If you find this message too aggressive, consider why
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Offering to either buy or do a task for someone who never asked for it, and then later getting frustrated that this person either didn't refute your help, or feeling "obligated" to continue.

It seems like this happens when there's a difference in status and the higher-up person is helping the lower person.

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I've tried many times to reply "oh no, that's okay thank you, I can get it" only to then be outplayed by the NT social skillset. Maybe my tone wasn't "convincing" enough, or maybe as long as you refute it, it's then okay to receive help since you at least said that.

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