Thread by @AshTheWiz

Tales from NDA Khadakwasla...

A Case of Missed Opportunity – SKS Versus SKS
#Military #HumourInUniform #MilitaryHumour #FaujiHumour
I was in second term of NDA. Our Geography Class teacher used to be Ms SK Singh. She was an excellent Geography teacher but had a negative

approach towards the Cadets. She always considered that cadets are shammers, liars, not sincere etc.
Ms SK Singh would always insist that Cadets bring their geography book in the classroom. Cadets often would not carry the book as it used to be slightly heavier and they would

find difficult to run with the book in their satchel from Science Block (where our Geography Classroom was located) to Squadron buildings, especially in the morning time when the time was at premium and hogging breakfast like gluttons was the topmost priority.

As an OG (Olive Green, Read: stickler for rules) Cadet, I always carried the geography book to the classroom. One fine Monday morning, as a surprise check she asked all those who have not brought the geography book in the class to raise their hands. I did not raise my hans as

I was confident that book was in my satchel as an SOP. Now she asked all those to show their books who had not raised their hands. When I put my hand in the satchel, to take my book out, to my shock I found the book was gone with the wind! It was missing!

मेरी रगों में काटो तो खून नहीं!
Little did I realise that previous Thursday, my geography book was taken by my Friend Philosopher and Misguide, Cadet PS Pantle (14521H). All those who had not raised their hands, now flashed their books except this OG Bihari dope. Ms SK Singh came

to me and asked, "Cadet SK Sinha, show me your geography book”. मेरी तो सांसें बन्द! ढूंढा Satchel सारी, फंस गया रे आज मैं बिहारी.
Myself, Cdt SanJ: Ma'm, Ma'm, Ma'm… Actually...
Ms SK Singh: What is this Ma'm Ma'm Ma'm? I don't want to hear any excuse,” Actually… Truly…

Honestly etc…”. Just show me the geography book of yours and that’s it.
Cdt SanJ: I do not have the geography book.
Ms SK Singh (at the pitch of her voice): Class Monitor, Cadet SK Choudhary call the Drill Saab from outside (Cdt SK Choudhary, also ex Hunter Squadron and now a

a Major General, retired).
As my ill luck would have it, drill saab, Naib Subedar Lobhi Ram, the drill instructor of Golf squadron was incidentally on rounds of Science Block. He came inside the Classroom. Seeing Lobhi Raam Saab, मेरे तो होश उड़ गये. He was very strict, ever

unforgiving and charges were always unexpectedly severe and severely unexpected. He was the one who had once made charge on Cadet Krishna Gopal for making, “Loose Motion” in Drill Square for doing, “Dheeli Harkatein” in the parade ground.
Miss SK Singh narrated him the incident.

Naib Subedar Lobhi Ram acted swiftly. Charge was framed by Nb Subedar Lobhi Ram in the Offence Register. True to my expectations, my number (14657H) appeared in the Battalion Routine Order (BRO) same day. I was marched up to Adjutant, Major SS Dhillon (an Officer with an amazing

vocabulary and sense of humour) along with Squadron Cadet Captain, Cadet AK Gupta (60/Hunter, a gentleman to the hilt).
The Adjutant silently read the charge from the Offence Register for himself. His face was aghast with a crepuscular expression, and he growled at me.

Adjutant: Do you accept the charge?
I thought, "Better accept the charge and सस्ते छूटो और यहां से फूटो (get acquitted cheaply and get lost from here quickly".
Cdt SanJ: Yes Sir.
Adjutant: Are you sure?
Cdt SanJ: Yes Sir, I am dead sure. I know my mistake.
Adjutant: You bloody

Misguided Missile, if you are dead sure, you are dead. The charge on you reads, "CADET SANJAY KUMAR SINHA, NUMBER 14657H FOUND LYING WITH GEOGRAPHY TEACHER MS SK SINGH IN THE GEOGRAPHY CLASSROOM. How could you dare do that?
I was stunned! I did not know which way to look.

I could not retrieve my statement as I had already accepted it and was literally in the state of Scylla and Charybdis – a state of confusion between two equally unacceptable alternatives. Neither could I accept the charge, nor could I refuse it, since I had already owned it.

Now Maj SS Dhillon turned to Naib Subedar Lobhi Ram for further details.
Adjutant: साब आप हिन्दी में बताओ कि कडेट पर क्या चार्ज है? (Saa'b please tell in Hindi what is the charge on the Cadet?
Nb Subedar Lobhi Ram: साब, ये कडेट जोग्राफी क्लास में जोग्राफी टीचर मिस एस के सिंह के

साथ झूठ बोलता पाया गया (Saa'b, this Cadet was found telling lies with geography teacher Miss SK Singh in the Geography Classroom).
The Adjutant heaved a sigh of relief. He cautioned and ordered Lobhi Ram to henceforth write the offence and charges in Hindi only.
Adjutant awarded

me six Extra Drills (EDs) for "Telling Lies". Lobhi Ram Saab wrote the punishment in the punishment register as, “Cadet SK Sinha awarded Extra Drills - S.x (instead of Six)” and then immediately corrected in Hindi ' Cadet SK Sinha awarded एक्स्ट्रा ड्रिल - छे ".

A dismissal note for the charge, "CADET SANJAY KUMAR SINHA, NUMBER 14657H FOUND LYING WITH GEOGRAPHY TEACHER MISS SK SINGH IN THE GEOGRAPHY CLASSROOM” was made by Adjutant and reworded as, "SKS VERSUS SKS - A CASE OF MISSED OPPORTUNITY".