Thread by @huminbeen

i'm no victim but i sure am one failed human being who can't do anything right

hence why i know i don't deserve to live, as i've never deserved respect by anyone bcuz the world has known since i was born that i'm just a terrible no good very bad person who deserves to be shat on

i wonder if men think i deserve to live, but ONLY on the condition i also deserve to be treated like shit.

until i obey.

and let men jizz all over my face.

maybe if i had let andrew jizz in my face, he wouldn't have slept over at that woman's house, and maybe he wouldn't have taken photo's of women's 🐱 - so you see ppl, it's clearly all MY fault that he did those things

and maybe if i hadn't spent so much time with our child, and cleaning and shopping and such and had placed more attention on him than i was giving him, he wouldn't have done those things

bcuz it's not like he could have spent more time with us ya know, he had a life to live

and apparently in andrew's mind, i should have NOT spent as much time with our child

maybe bcuz he was the man of the house, and he thinks he should have gotten whatever HE needed first, before our child, ergo i neglected my duty

so he was justified in seeking 🐱 elsewhere

and he thinks i should have just stayed with him even tho i was lonely & sad and knew he didn't even like me enough to fake it, and that's why he got angry at me when i asked what it was about me that he had fallen for

fact is i was basically just his ticket to beer, pot and 🎸

and bcuz i had no self worth thx to my ex father conditioning me to accept scraps of affection and emotional abuse as signs of "love", i stayed with him and took his manipulation and abuse bcuz i didn't see any other choice for so long

and then he got angry with me for leaving

in the email where he said he had another kid so wouldn't be sending $ to his daughters' school, he also said i had never loved him or supported him and his new gf did

which is pretty freakin funny to me considering i took a shite job so he would have the time to make music

anyway, i know i'm the problem and always have been, bcuz i don't obey sexist rules and the men in charge don't like that

as women our bodies are not our own after all, men can buy and sell us and rape us and blame us for what happens to us

#mondaythoughts