Thread by @a_swanb

More on ‘bad sex’:

~ If he’s focused on the porn in his head rather than the essence of the woman before him… she’s going to feel that (on some level);
eventually questioning her worth & place in the relationship

OR

1/…

#Intimacy #couples #sex #marriage

https://twitter.com/a_swanb/status/1558154394822123523

2/ Bad sex examples…

~ If he’s so soft & sweet that she literally starts falling asleep each time they start touching,

because she can’t feel him holding the space of their intimacy with his masculine presence

OR…

…👇

3/ Bad sex:

~ They bonded over their shared trauma once…and one of them has healed now, and there’s a mismatch

OR…

~ One of them has been through recent trauma and the other Lover is not equipped with how to approach their Beloved in a way that is received

🌹

4/ Another example of bad sex…

~ She enjoys finally having some connection. The cuddle is lovely, but she could do without the banging down below… in fact it’s a bit much, & uncomfortable, so she focuses on how nice it is to be close to him again & waits for him to finish

🙈

5/ Or he has performance problems only with her… and he doesn’t know why

Or she can’t get lubricated with him… and she doesn’t know why

6/ @dovidfeldman This thread is inspired by the conversation we had on ‘bad sex’ & it’s impact on a seemingly loving marriage

While the internalized response to the bad sex does typically touch on core wounds that need healing (I agree), I find that it goes beyond that 😌 🤍

⤵️

A man or woman may not realize that the core issue to the marriage breakdown is their ‘bad sexual experience within the marriage’

Because they believe that marriage is something that operates in the socially-accepted mental level & emotional level only… rather than …

⤵️

8/ … acknowledging the more primal, often very very suppressed parts of who we are.

This puts the marriage in jeopardy when one of them suddenly experiences sexual chemistry and sexual love with someone else.

Full intercourse isn’t required to experience this,

…⤵️

9/ … it’s something that can often be felt, even at a distance, & circumvents reasoning!!

But oh no, ‘bad sex’ won’t typically be blamed though!

*Because* we put sex into a box of ‘p in v’ rather than identifying the various holistic components that are involved…

⤵️

10/ …that create a mutually satisfying experience

I’ve said quite a bit here 😅
I’ll stop now 😄

(…I must write a 📖 … there’s much more to be said, probably in a clearer way too 😉)

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