Thread by @larkspur_9

For #WwxLqrWeek day 6: river, a little AU of my single parent trans LWJ AU—LQR reflects on what he could have done differently, and how that might have changed things for LWJ and A-Yuan (and even That Horrible Boy WWX)

https://twitter.com/larkspur_9/status/1545575072152305671

LQR leans back on one arm, watching with a soft smile as A-Yuan splashes in the river. LXC hovers like a nervous mother hen. (The pressure of minding his 4-year-old nephew in the high-risk setting of the shallows of a slow-moving river appears to be getting to him.)

LWJ finishes laying out the picnic blanket and confirming that he brought everything he needs for A-Yuan, then joins his brother and son in the water. LXC visibly relaxes now that he’s no longer solely responsible for A-Yuan’s safety.

It amazes LQR sometimes, how well LWJ has handled parenthood at such a young age. Of course he was always going to be devoted father—he’s a good boy with a big heart. But even so, raising a child is such a daunting responsibility, and LWJ has always faced it with calm confidence.

And he’s done it alone, LQR thinks with the usual pang of guilt. LQR supports them, of course, so LWJ hasn’t been completely alone. But surely there are times when LWJ wishes he had A-Yuan’s other parent to lean on.

LQR has spent a lot of time thinking about the way everything unfolded back then, his own part in what happened to WWX. He thinks often of what he could have done differently. If only he had kept his cool, approached the situation with a more level head.

He couldn’t be blamed entirely, he thinks, for being shocked and distressed upon walking in on his sweet, responsible, rule-abiding LWJ in bed with that horrible boy. But leaping straight to accusations about WWX’s corrupting influence… Well.

It wasn’t fair of him. And he can’t help but wonder how things might have played out if he’d been a little less vitriolic toward WWX. He has spent a lot of time imagining how much it could have changed all their lives.

“Downstairs,” LQR said, his voice like a thunderclap. “Both of you.”

LWJ and WWX both stared at him in silent, wide-eyed panic.

LQR turned and stalked down the hall, feeling a bit of panic himself.

Wangji was just a baby! (A baby who was going to be leaving for college in a few months, but that was neither here nor there.) LQR wasn’t prepared for this!

But ten minutes later, he had the red-faced pair sat on the couch in front of him while he gave them a stern talking to about safety and responsibility and exercising caution and restraint when making adult decisions.

“Yes, Lan-laoshi,” WWX murmured when the lecture wound down.

LWJ looked a little mutinous, but still muttered a quiet, “Yes, Shufu.”

“Wei Wuxian is going home now,” LQR said.

LWJ’s eyes flashed, and LQR thought he was going to argue. He wasn’t sure how he would handle that. But WWX was already on his feet.

“Right! I’ll just…go.”

WWX leaned down as if to kiss LWJ goodbye, but jerked back when LQR cleared his throat pointedly. He shot LQR a nervous glance, then turned back to LWJ with a wobbly smile. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow, okay?”

LWJ had never been one for backtalk. He did not disrespect his elders. He did not shout or slam doors. But after WWX left… Well, suffice it to say that it was an interesting night in the Lan household.

((I thought I was going to get further into this tonight, but I’m going to have to pause here. I’ll be back with more tomorrow!))

((Content note for this next bit of the thread: teen pregnancy —but I don’t expect to get too in depth with LWJ’s pregnancy))

LQR grounded LWJ for two weeks, and LWJ passed the entirety of it in frosty silence.

LQR considered barring WWX from the house even after the grounding was over, but in the end he opted for the route that would allow him to keep an eye on the boys at least some of the time.

LQR’s compromise was this: LWJ was free to have his boyfriend over to the house, but only when LQR was home, and WWX was never to go upstairs. LWJ accepted these new rules with minimal argument.

It seemed, for a short while, that that was the end of it. LWJ was respectfully following the rules once more, and their household returned to a peaceful equilibrium.

It was LXC who delivered the news that turned it all upside down.

LWJ had stayed after school for orchestra practice. LQR made himself some tea and was just getting settled in the living room with a mystery novel when he heard the front door open. He set his book aside when LXC appeared in the living room doorway.

“Shufu,” LXC said, his smile just a shade too placid. Something was wrong.

“Xichen. I wasn’t expecting you.”

“I stopped by to discuss some news. Perhaps I can make us some— Ah, you already have tea.”

“There’s more in the pot.”

LXC went to fetch himself a cup.

When he returned, he took his time pouring his tea and settling in the chair across from LQR. Stalling. It wasn’t like him. LQR’s jaw clenched, and he waited.

LXC cleared his throat. “Shufu. Wangji asked me to speak with you about something.”

LQR blinked. This was about LWJ?

LXC took a slow sip of his tea, and then sighed. “There’s no way to ease into this, so I’ll just say it. Wangji is pregnant.”

LQR cannot say he took the news calmly. In fact, he’s quite grateful that LXC was the one to deliver it, that LWJ wasn’t home to witness his reaction.

He did a great deal of shouting, mostly about That Horrible Boy. When LQR runs through all the accusations and empty threats he can think of, he turns his thoughts back to LWJ and forcibly calms himself enough to discuss the matter peaceably. (Mostly.)

LXC tells LQR about his conversation with his brother (or as much of it as he’s been authorized to share). LWJ is scared and uncertain but thinks he might want to keep the baby. This drives LQR to some more frantic shouting.

LXC had to talk LQR back to a state of calm two or three more times over the course of the afternoon, but by the time they heard the front door open, LQR was feeling more composed.

LWJ shuffled into the living room, tension apparent in every line of his body, his eyes fixed on the ground.

LQR stood and went to him in two long strides, then pulled him into his arms. “Wangji. My boy. I love you, and I will support you whatever you choose.”

LWJ leaned into LQR’s hold and sniffled quietly. LQR hadn’t seen him cry since his mother died. He knew he hadn’t always been the best at comforting his nephews through emotional turmoil. He could only hope that holding LWJ close and letting him get his feelings out was enough.

By the time LWJ pulled himself together, LXC had made a fresh pot of tea. The three of them sat and talked about LWJ’s options and what he wanted. Since first speaking with LXC, he had apparently settled more firmly on keeping the baby.

A balloon of anxiety inflated in LQR’s chest at the thought, but his own worries he could set aside to process later.

Their tea had gone cold by the time LQR asked one question they’d all been dancing around so far.

“Have you spoken with Wei Wuxian about all this?”

LWJ lifted his chin, a stubborn glint in his eye. “Mn. He wants to get married.”

“Absolutely not!” LQR snapped, more vehement than he’d been through the whole conversation.

LWJ gaped at him.

“You’re both far too young to make that kind of commitment.”

“We’re having a baby,” LWJ grumbled, his ears going slightly pink.

“And many unmarried people have children. If you still wish to get married after you have both finished college, I won’t object. But I will not allow you to shackle yourself to this boy only to regret it later.”

LWJ glared down at his tea. “Could never regret it.”

“If you’re so certain neither of your feelings will change, there’s no harm in waiting.”

LXC deftly steered the conversation away from WWX after that.

It was a week later that WWX showed up on their doorstep well after LEJ’s curfew, eyes puffy and red-rimmed.

A part of LQR wanted to tell him to come back at a decent hour. But there was a haunted look about him that made LQR pull the door open wider and usher him inside.

WWX had told JFM and YZY that LWJ was pregnant, and they had tossed him out on the street. They hadn’t even given him time to pack a bag.

LQR kept a firm grasp on the rage he felt at that—he couldn’t risk WWX thinking it was directed at him.

He made up LXC’s room for WWX. They would have to figure something out once the semester ended and LXC was back home for the summer.

…Maybe it wouldn’t be that hard to figure something out, LQR reflected when he heard WWX sneak into LWJ’s room after he’d gone to bed that night.

The next morning, LWJ and WWX announced that they were officially engaged, though they were willing to wait until they finished school to plan the wedding, as LQR had requested.

LQR drove WWX to the Jiang house and stonily forced their way in so WWX could collect his things.

WWX and LWJ graduated. LXC came home from school for the summer. Their little family settled into a routine (mostly centered around pampering LWJ, who bore it with minimal frustration).

And when A-Yuan was born, he was the object of all their love and affection. With a doting uncle and great-uncle and two devoted fathers, A-Yuan was never lacking for attention.

LQR shakes himself out of his daydream and focuses his attention back on his nephews and grandnephew splash in the river.

A-Yuan is happy. A-Yuan has always been happy. But would he be happier if we had WWX in his life?

LQR tries not to dwell on it, but sometimes the thoughts do creep in. It’s his fault, at least partially, that WWX isn’t here. He can’t know how it all would have played out if he really had sat the boys down for a calm but firm lecture.

He can’t know if WWX would be here with them today. Maybe he still would have disappeared. Maybe his life would have carried him in a different direction, and his presence in A-Yuan’s would be relegated to birthday cards and occasional visits.

It would be easier if LQR had any idea what had become of him. If he knew that WWX is safe and well. If he didn’t have to lie awake at night wondering if some harm had befallen the boy because LQR made him unwelcome in the Lan home and then gotten him kicked out of his own.

“Shufu!” LXC calls from the water. “Don’t you want to join us?”

LQR smiles and goes to join his boys, and lets the river wash away his regrets, at least for today.

(A year later, the Lan family goes back to that same river for another picnic. This time they’re joined by WWX, fresh from the end of his tour. A-Yuan is over the moon to show his diedie his favorite picnic spot. LQR’s heart warms to see LWJ, A-Yuan, and WWX so happy together.)

((The end!))