Thread by @tressiemcphd

For a little timeline counter-programming, let me tell you about my day in a #thottieonsie

I discovered a brick-and-mortar Fabletics store last week. It seemed like a good way to try some of Lizzo’s Yitty stuff. I throw in a little athliesure, including the most irrational purchase- an athliesure onsie.

The ten-year-old 90 lb. cashier was wearing it. You would think that would deter me. It did not. If anything, it encourages me. (Someone should do a study on this.) I don’t yet know it’s a thottie onsie.

Fast forward to today. It’s 7:45 am. That is NOT my peak mental time. I’m up early to run errands before my midday flight. I glance around for something quick to wear on the errand run. I see the onsie. Somehow I decide now is a great time to try it on. It’s 7:45 am.

I wrestle myself into it WITHOUT coffee and I realize I need to leave to make my 8:30 am appointment. “I will just change after my appointment,” I say.

There’s no margin for error in todays schedule. A couple of minivans on the road and some rogue stoplights and I’m late.

I won’t have time to change and pick up my luggage and make it to the airport. I’m stuck in the onsie. It still has tags on it because by 10 am I’ve sobered up and know that I must return it.

In this life there are thottie onsie people and there are blouse jumpsuit people.

I’m in this onsie in an airport. I’m horrified. There’s a jacket but it short. It’s 100% humidity and I have it zipped to my eyebrows. I make it to the hotel with just enough time to change and make it to a work appointment…

When I hear it. “Tressie? Is that you, Tressie??”

I’ve been spotted in the hotel lobby, 50 ft from the safety of the elevator. In a thottie onsie. I’ve worn the tags down. It can’t be returned. And I’ve been seen it. This is why you shouldn’t wake up before noon.

If you saw me today, let’s just never mention it. Thank you.