Thread by @mskelleyware

Warning: Long Thread

There has been something I have been debating on sharing for quite some time now. I’ve been letting fear keep me from sharing this, but after seeing some people call out @ryanjespersen and how he keeps causing harm and keeps refusing to actually learn

(thanks @_MommaShip and @kimpagegluckie), I think it is time I have the courage to share as well.

So buckle up friends, here is a behind-the-scenes look at what it was like being the partner of @RealTalkRJ’s former technical producer.

To begin, I want to share the email that I sent Ryan on the anniversary of my mother’s death in June. I hoped that he’d be up for some Real Talk and would actually take the time to read it. He didn’t. Or, if he did, he did not respond to it.

This email sums up most of what happened that was problematic during @samuelgbrooks time at #RealTalkRJ

Be warned, it’s a doozy (even though I was being pretty gentle in this email)

So, to sum everything up: Sam was worked to the bone at Real Talk, expected to do 8-10 hours of work while only being paid for 6 and was expected to do the work that normally is covered by a team of 4-6.

On top of that, something that I didn’t mention in the email is that, as a contractor, Sam wasn’t entitled to things like sick leave. It was rich having a Real Talk panel discussing sick leave when only a couple of weeks prior Sam had to take an unpaid week off due to Covid

He was expected to be ready at the drop of a hat for anything. The amount of life Sam and I missed out on while he worked at Real Talk was staggering. If Sam and I went out for a beer, he was bringing his laptop because he couldn't stop working,

If he did take a break for anything outside of the show, then Real Talk might not run perfectly the next day. And anything less than perfect meant being screamed at and other abuse.

Most of you may not know, but Sam didn’t leave Real Talk due to better opportunities. He left because the work environment was so toxic it was impacting his health. The final straw came when a particularly heated argument ended with him fearing for his safety and walking out.

Why was there a heated argument? Sam suggested that deadlines would be helpful for the show. In his resignation letter, he outlined the problems of the work environment and the reasons for him leaving. It was swept under the rug and ignored.

So much for #RealTalkRJ.

The only reason he offered a transition period and we haven’t spoken out until now is because we were terrified about what speaking out could mean for Sam’s career. Would Jespo bury him? Would he be blacklisted?

Fortunately, Sam was able to find work in an environment where he is respected and supported and properly valued.

And that leads us to the big one for me: Sam not being given time off when my mom died. In the email, I mentioned that Sam didn’t feel comfortable asking for time off. That is true, but it is a very nice way of saying it.

In reality, Sam was terrified of asking for anything that would take Real Talk off the air. The expectation was that Real Talk is never off the air (unless it was because Jespo wanted a vacation). It was unacceptable to suggest not being on air.

So while it is true that Sam never did ask for time off, it is also true that it wasn’t OFFERED either.

If I was an employer, I’d sure as hell offer my employees bereavement. Wouldn’t you?

I can not express how much it shattered me to know how little our lives mattered to Jespo. Or, at least my life. It was identified when the show began that it would be a good practice to have a sub trained in case Sam had some sort of emergency.

Jespo didn’t reach out to anyone in the early days, despite prompting from Sam. Eventually Sam gave Jespo a name to get the ball rolling, all he needed to do was email them.

Nothing when my mom got diagnosed with Stage IV cancer. It wasn’t until she was in hospice before he finally contacted them (I was incorrect in my timeline with the email I sent Jespo in June - I will own that and clarify that he did move quicker than I recalled initially).

Either way - training of the backup tech was only able to happen after my mom passed.
Due to a lack of planning in advance I had to deal with the worst time of my life without any sort of support while Sam was helplessly 750km away and was also dealing with his own devastation.

All I got was a “sorry for your loss” Twitter DM. I don’t think Sam got anything.

This is after I had been one of the biggest supporters of the show. What did I get after being a champion of #RealTalkRJ: an email to tell me that I couldn’t say certain things in the livechat

And no support when my mom died.

An expectation that I would make myself quiet and small for the good of The Show.

And I am done being quiet and small. I am done holding all this anger and disappointment and grief inside.

I’m done being hurt by @ryanjespersen. With my truth out, I think I may finally be able to let it go so it stops eating me. And with sharing, hopefully I can save someone else from this pain.

But know that this is only one story of many. One thing that I have learned since Sam left, since Sarah left, is that there are a lot of people with similar or parallel stories. This is why I can say that Real Talk is for show.

That learning is for show. His interaction with a deaf advocate last weekend (and so many other instances) proves that.

I had hoped that he could learn and grow, but I know better now.