Dr. Nicole LePera Profile picture
Sep 24, 2022 6 tweets 1 min read Read on X
Childhood trauma is “invisible” but it’s always present in the nervous system.

It’s common for someone to say “I don’t have childhood trauma” but their bodies & behaviors tell a different story (🧵)
Do you wince or feel anxious when someone walks into a room? Do you want to connect with someone but cannot trust that they actually love you? Do you lack communication skills & immediately lash out or shut down?
Do you have beliefs like “I don’t matter” “no one cares what I have to say?” When you’re hurt do you struggle to regulate your emotions or even know what you actually feel?
Have you spent a majority of your adult life people pleasing or achieving to get love, validation, or approval? And now you wonder who you even are or why you feel so empty?
Our body doesn’t forget. Our behaviors reflect our past. The way we view ourselves & the world around us is forever changed when we experience childhood trauma.
Most important to understand is that childhood trauma doesn’t just look like severe abuse, neglect, & assault. Emotional neglect & abuse are so common in our society we just call it “normal.”

We have an entire society of adults living these consequences.

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More from @Theholisticpsyc

Jun 12
An emotionally unavailable partner slowly puts your body into survival mode.

Here's Why:
When someone's emotionally unavailable, you can feel completely alone in the relationship. You're trying to connect, trying to find middle ground, or trying to "get" them, but they push you away every time.
You crave depth, being seen, and vulnerability, and they crave distraction, avoidance, and solitude.

They things get difficult, their first instinct is to leave or shut down.

Yours is to come together and figure things out.
Read 10 tweets
Jun 5
Over-explaining is a form of emotional begging.

It keeps you trap in a cycle of anxiety.

How to say less and mean more:
Over-explaining is a habit response. It comes from emotional monitoring. When we believe someone might feel upset or hurt by something we say, we over-explain to try to please the other person and to protect ourselves.
The issue with over-explaining is, we're creating a story about how someone will feel before we actually give them a chance to tell us what they think or feel.
Read 14 tweets
Jun 4
If you've experienced chronic pain or exhaustion doctors have told you "nothing is wrong," you might be experiencing...

Mind body syndrome (MBS)

Here's what you need to know:
Our emotions and stress activate the same pain centers in the brain as physical injury. When we experience physical pain the body, we believe this must mean structural damage or damage to our tissue.
If structural damage or a "disease" isn't found, we're often told it's "in our head" which is a misunderstanding of the mind body connection.
Read 13 tweets
May 20
The most unseen privilege in life is a supportive family.

How it impacts every aspect of your life:
Being born into a supportive family means your immune system and nervous system function better.
It means you get a head start at recovering from stress, and learning how to cope.
Read 9 tweets
May 4
Learning the art of not being emotionally controlled will change your life.

Here's a Step by Step Guide:
There are 4 main ways people emotionally control others:

1. Guilt tripping
2. Sabotaging
3. Stonewalling
4. Future faking
Guilt tripping is when someone tries to get you to change your behavior or remove a boundary. It's done through pressure and works by activating your empathy.

It sounds like: "after all I've done for you."
Read 13 tweets
May 3
Narcissism is an extreme shame disorder.

They have a high need for control and extreme focus on public perception.

How to know if you're friends with a covert narcissist:
At first, the covert narcissist seems charming and attentive. They present themselves as accomplished, self aware, and loving.

In this stage, they're idealizing you, noticing how generous you are, and how available you are to them.
Next, they begin subconscious testing. They'll push your boundaries, accuse you of things, and put you in situations where you have to prove yourself.

In this stage, you're on the defensive and you're working to get them to see you as trustworthy.
Read 11 tweets

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