Childhood trauma is “invisible” but it’s always present in the nervous system.
It’s common for someone to say “I don’t have childhood trauma” but their bodies & behaviors tell a different story (🧵)
Do you wince or feel anxious when someone walks into a room? Do you want to connect with someone but cannot trust that they actually love you? Do you lack communication skills & immediately lash out or shut down?
Do you have beliefs like “I don’t matter” “no one cares what I have to say?” When you’re hurt do you struggle to regulate your emotions or even know what you actually feel?
Have you spent a majority of your adult life people pleasing or achieving to get love, validation, or approval? And now you wonder who you even are or why you feel so empty?
Our body doesn’t forget. Our behaviors reflect our past. The way we view ourselves & the world around us is forever changed when we experience childhood trauma.
Most important to understand is that childhood trauma doesn’t just look like severe abuse, neglect, & assault. Emotional neglect & abuse are so common in our society we just call it “normal.”
We have an entire society of adults living these consequences.
• • •
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to
force a refresh
Let's talk about how sex can be used to escape emotional intimacy:
Sexual connection is a beautiful way to build deeper bonds and to create trust. But it can also be a way to create distrust and and to avoid facing parts of ourselves.
But many people only know (and only feel comfortable) connecting with another person sexually. Opening up, being vulnerable, and holding space for another person's emotions can be overwhelming and terrifying.
As you adjust and heal you'll feel a heaviness in your body and a desire to sleep a lot. Rest is some of the most important self care during this time.
2. Feelings of intense anger and regret.
Emotions that have been suppressed for a long time might come up, like anger. You might feel angry about past relationships, your childhood, or your own behavior. This is a sign you're ready to resolve it.
Avoidant partners deny issues and are quick to feel smothered.
They cope by clinging to their independence or running from issues.
How To Deal With An Avoidant Partner:
People with avoidant attachment want closeness, but also feel smothered and uncomfortable with it.
They've learned to not trust and use distance and independence as a coping mechanism.
Someone with avoidant attachment might:
- have a history of quick relationships
- deny issues or downplay them
- pull away once they feel too close
- dissociate and/or stonewall their partners
- feel irritation around other people's needs