Childhood trauma is “invisible” but it’s always present in the nervous system.
It’s common for someone to say “I don’t have childhood trauma” but their bodies & behaviors tell a different story (🧵)
Do you wince or feel anxious when someone walks into a room? Do you want to connect with someone but cannot trust that they actually love you? Do you lack communication skills & immediately lash out or shut down?
Do you have beliefs like “I don’t matter” “no one cares what I have to say?” When you’re hurt do you struggle to regulate your emotions or even know what you actually feel?
Have you spent a majority of your adult life people pleasing or achieving to get love, validation, or approval? And now you wonder who you even are or why you feel so empty?
Our body doesn’t forget. Our behaviors reflect our past. The way we view ourselves & the world around us is forever changed when we experience childhood trauma.
Most important to understand is that childhood trauma doesn’t just look like severe abuse, neglect, & assault. Emotional neglect & abuse are so common in our society we just call it “normal.”
We have an entire society of adults living these consequences.
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People with covert narcissism is an epidemic in our society.
They make you feel guilty, question yourself, and they blame you for their emotions.
Here's Why:
When someone is a covert narcissist, they're suffering from attachment wounds and insecurity. They've never developed a full sense of self.
Beginning at a young age, they created a false self. This false self was created to protect them from shame, rejection, and isolation. A covert narcissist has never matured into an autonomous adult.
Your nervous system will tell you when you've met your person.
It won't feel like fireworks.
This is what love is to your nervous system:
Our nervous system knows that love is consistency and predictability. It's our partner walking into a room and our whole body feels safe.
When we're with someone does what they say they'll do, our heartbeat slows. Their voice slow our breathing patterns. Their touch relaxes us on a cellular level. Our immune system is strengthened.
The angry daughter has been labeled the "difficult one" in the family.
Really, the most unheard.
Here's Why:
The angry child daughter grew up with a parent who was almost always frustrated with her. This parent was short tempered, and critical. They let her know that she was too much.
Even though her anger was real, it was dismissed. She started to feel like something was wrong with her. She was the only person in the family willing to speak the truth, to acknowledge what was happening, and to stand up for herself.