Childhood trauma is “invisible” but it’s always present in the nervous system.
It’s common for someone to say “I don’t have childhood trauma” but their bodies & behaviors tell a different story (🧵)
Do you wince or feel anxious when someone walks into a room? Do you want to connect with someone but cannot trust that they actually love you? Do you lack communication skills & immediately lash out or shut down?
Do you have beliefs like “I don’t matter” “no one cares what I have to say?” When you’re hurt do you struggle to regulate your emotions or even know what you actually feel?
Have you spent a majority of your adult life people pleasing or achieving to get love, validation, or approval? And now you wonder who you even are or why you feel so empty?
Our body doesn’t forget. Our behaviors reflect our past. The way we view ourselves & the world around us is forever changed when we experience childhood trauma.
Most important to understand is that childhood trauma doesn’t just look like severe abuse, neglect, & assault. Emotional neglect & abuse are so common in our society we just call it “normal.”
We have an entire society of adults living these consequences.
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Keep you guessing: they won’t go back and forth or pull away after getting too close. They won’t have you trying to make sense of their behavior. Their words and actions will align, and your nervous system will be relaxed.
Dismiss your feelings: they might not always agree, but they’ll always hear what you have to say. They’ll respect what you feel, even if their perspective is different. You’ll know they at least heard you and value your take.
Studies show depression, anxiety, and even bipolar disorder are linked to how your brain processes energy—especially glucose.
Your brain is the most energy-hungry organ in your body, and if it’s not getting fuel properly, things start breaking down. And we start having mental health symptoms.
Happiness is our responsibility. We need to understand ourselves, build healthy habits, and work through our traumas to feel happy and fulfilled.
That’s no one else’s role.
Partnership is a collaboration. Meaning you’re both working on yourselves, and also supporting each other. You’re on the same team, with the same goals, and know at the end of the day you can depend on each other.
If you want a close relationship with someone, you have to be interested in them as a person.
This is called emotional intimacy.
Here’s How To Create It:
There are 4 types of questions that help build emotional intimacy.
They are: 1. Feeling Questions 2. Interest Questions 3. Future Questions 4. Play Questions
Feeling Questions To Ask:
- When’s the last time you felt excited or inspired?
- When’s the last time you felt heard or understood?
- Where do you feel the most at peace?
- When do you feel the most connected to me?
Why the people pleasing daughter ends up with the emotionally reactive son.
This will help you understand your relationship:
The people pleasing daughter was conditioned to calm down emotionally reactive parents. She learned early how to deal with people who had tempers. She’s easy, quiet, and agreeable to make her life easier.
The emotionally reactive son can’t deal with his emotional state. He doesn’t have communication skills and has a low frustration tolerance.
Being around him is unpredictable. You never know which side of him you’ll get.
Cortisol is a stress hormone that causes disease, weight gain, and inflammation in the body.
We can lower our cortisol through our diet.
3 Foods That To Naturally Lower Cortisol Levels:
The foods we eat impact the way our body responds to stress. Specifically, it impacts the level of cortisol we have in our body. Cortisol is a stress hormone. In small doses cortisol is actually highly beneficial.
It triggers our fight or flight response, so we can escape danger. It also plays a role in regulating our sleep cycles, our inflammation levels, and our blood sugar levels. The problem with cortisol is when we have too much of it, too often.