Do you have a father wound?

How your relationship with your father impacts you: Our relationship with our father is one of our first relationships. How he interacts with you, meets (or does not your needs), and how he copes with life will greatly impact how you cope and view yourself.

Love is a series of behaviors, not a feeling.

Love means you... Are fully committed to learning, growing, and becoming the best version of yourself so you can be there for someone else.

You were the "problem child."

The difficult one.

Here's what life was like for you: You outwardly showed signs of pain and confusion. People looked at you as a child and blamed you for your pain. They labeled you with "behavioral issues" instead of asking: 'what's happening at home?' or 'what are you going through?'

Let's talk about the oldest daughter who became the protector of the family even though all she ever felt was unsafe...

A THREAD🧵 She knew even as a child her role was to be a "little adult." To hide how she felt, to ignore her own needs, and to keep it all together for everyone else around her.

Being the 'strong one' is exhausting.

Pretending we're ok, denying pain, and putting on a facade is what we're expected to do.

Why sensitivity is a gift: We've been told that being strong means denying our pain. We're expected to push through everything and keep going no matter what. It's no wonder so many of us are exhausted, burnt out, and dissociated.

Let's talk about love bombing.

Moving quickly into relationships, making promises, and then not following through.

Why People Do It: Love bombing feels good.

We meet someone and feel like the center of their world. Promises are made. And we think this could really be a person we could have a future with.

You grew with a parent who was one way in public and another in private.

This left you confused and angry.

Here's Why: Jekyll and Hyde parenting is common with emotionally immature parents who put their public appearance above everything. These parents value how they're seen in the community and lack the skills to connect and attune to family.

There's so much conflicting information.

Who can you trust? YOURSELF

Why it's time to return to our bodies: For many generations, we've looked to experts and people outside of ourselves to guide us around what we 'should' be doing. This is deliberate marketing where we're taught to disconnect from our own intuition and internal guidance.

Your role as a child was to keep a parent's secret.

The fact that they were cheating, how much they spent, or how they hurt you.

Why Healthy Families Don't Require Secrecy: Many children grow up in homes where they're not only taught that lying is a regular part of relationships-- they're also taught to lie for a parent.

Your can't save your parents.

You can't change their habits or get them to see what they don't want to see.

HERE'S WHAT YOU CAN DO: Many of us have parents who are stuck in cycles that cause them issues. These can be issues in their marriage, financial issues, or any other issue that comes up over and over again.

In codependent families, denial is shared.

Any member who speaks the truth is labeled as "difficult."

Here's Why: In families with codependency, there's a shared narrative or story that everyone takes part in. This story typically creates a victim narrative around one (or both) parent figures.

Our emotions, past experiences, and unresolved trauma shows up within our body.

They can show up as "mystery illness", autoimmune disorders, or chronic pain.

Here's Why: Psychoimmunology is an area of research that connects stress and emotional states to disease. Its focus is on how our immune system, brain, and nervous system interact. It does this through a bidirectional immune to brain pathway.

You bring up something from your childhood and your parents deny it happened.

Here's Why: Some of us have parents who deny our experiences. We go to them to talk about something, and they immediately shut down or deflect.

Instead of 30 under 30, let's talk about...

Starting over at 40. Finding yourself at 50. Getting re-married at 60.

Why You're Never Too Old: Our society has some very dysfunctional views on age. We believe that life is a race and that youth is the best time in our lives. As we age, we start to have more and more limited beliefs about what we can do.

You're in a relationship, but you feel alone.

Why it's so confusing to be with an emotionally unavailable partner: It's common for emotionally unavailable people to come on very strong at the start of a relationship. They might show a lot of interest and seem very committed.

Someone you know tries to pull you into their conflict.

You feel uncomfortable, but struggle to get out of it.

This is Called Triangulation:
(A THREAD) Triangulation happens when someone constantly pulls you into their conflict with other people. Or, when they pressure you to take a side on something you're not involved in.

It's good feel excited and hopeful about something.

Even if other people don't feel the same way about it.

Why Optimism Matters: Being optimistic doesn't mean you have a perfect life.

All of us have stress, struggles, and times in our lives when we don't want to get out of bed.

It means you have resilience despite the realities of life.

Should you give someone a second chance?

Here's signs it's a good idea: Only you know if someone it's worth investing more time into. In all relationships, we'll be disappointed at times. We'll hurt other people (sometimes intentionally.)

"He loves you, he just doesn't know how to show it" is enabling.

Learning how to show love, express emotions, and understand other's emotions is an adult responsibility.

Why making excuses doesn't help: Many people grow up hearing someone loves them but doesn't know how to show it. This is usually a sign that that person is avoidant or shut down. And sometimes a sign that person is abusive or toxic.

Your body knows what your mind can't.

Here's what you body knows if you practice listening: Your body knows when it's time to leave that relationship. It shows you through symptoms like chronic colds, stomach aches, and this feeling in your gut that it's time to protect yourself.

Our nervous system's didn't evolve to hear everything that is happening in every area of the world.

Why Social Media Creates Chronic Dysregulation: For most of human history, we knew what was going on in our immediate families and our communities. In more recent times, this was the same except for some "big" events that were featured in our news cycle.