Nobody talks about grieving the father you wish you had…

A Thread 🧵: Having a father who isn’t capable of being a father to you, is one the most painful thing a person can experience.

A partner who is unfaithful is one of the most painful and difficult experiences.

Why People (actually) Betray Others: Many people believe if someone loves them or cares about them, they will be faithful.

But a person’s ability to commit and be in integrity has everything to do with their own biology.

When you talk to your mother she’s not actually listening, or the conversation always goes back to her.

Here’s Why: When you talk to her, you see her eyes glaze over. She seems distracted and distant. She doesn’t ask many questions. And somehow every conversation comes back to her or how she feels.

You knew your mother didn’t like you.

She was in competition with you, or seemed completely uninterested in your life.

A truth people don’t talk about: There’s a cultural myth that all mothers are warm and nurturing. But the truth is, many mothers have children and resent them. They feel their children should meet their needs, and are still looking for mothering, themselves.

Sexual Discipline means your sexual behavior is aligned with your emotional, physical, and spiritual wellbeing.

Why it matters (a thread 🧵): Having sexual discipline means you:
- don’t use sex as a distraction from your emotions
- choose partners who respect you and your body
- respect yourself and your own body
- know the difference between attraction and connection

A loving mother wires her child for lifelong resilience.

Her attuned presence becomes our blueprint for safety, regulation, and connection.

Why Motherhood Matters: The first person who regulates our nervous system, is our mother beginning at conception. Our heart syncs with hers in the womb.

This is called biological synchrony.

Depression runs through a generation when the focus is achievement and external validation over self awareness and sustainable relationships. Depression runs through a generation when the economy creates parents who so exhausted from making ends meet, they have nothing left to give their children.

The mother wound is a generational trauma passed down from a mother to her children. It can impact so many parts of our lives.

HOW TO HEAL: Our parent figures shape the way we see ourselves and the world.

Fathers matter.

Engaged fatherhood is early intervention. It lowers cortisol, strengthens immunity, and builds lifelong emotional stability. When a father attunes, he doesn’t just shape character — he shapes biology. He becomes part of the child’s cellular memory of safety.

Autoimmune disorders can be the body’s response to chronic nervous system dysregulation.

Your body isn’t attacking you, it’s trying to protect you.

Here’s Why: We’re built to handle stress. We’re meant to experience stress and trauma, then recover. This is called resilience. But when stress is chronic, our nervous system can get stuck in fight or flight. We never complete the stress cycle.

If you want a healthy relationship, you’ll need to ask yourself this question over and over again:

“Could they be right?“

Here’s Why: The closer the relationship, the stronger our ego reacts.

Sometimes we get defensive, deny we’re doing things, or don’t take in the other person’s point of view.

If you cry during intimacy, you’re having a healing moment.

Crying doesn’t mean your sad.

It can mean you finally feel safe: During intimacy, our body is flooded with oxytocin and adrenaline. Sometimes, we feel so safe and connected, our nervous system finally can release. The release of tears triggers a parasympathetic response.

The person who is meant for you isn’t going to: Keep you guessing: they won’t go back and forth or pull away after getting too close. They won’t have you trying to make sense of their behavior. Their words and actions will align, and your nervous system will be relaxed.

Mental health issues aren’t just a brain problem.

They’re a metabolic problem.

How This Information Can Help You Heal: Studies show depression, anxiety, and even bipolar disorder are linked to how your brain processes energy—especially glucose.

Your partner can’t make you happy.

That’s not their job.

Here’s what they can do: Happiness is our responsibility. We need to understand ourselves, build healthy habits, and work through our traumas to feel happy and fulfilled.

That’s no one else’s role.

If you want a close relationship with someone, you have to be interested in them as a person.

This is called emotional intimacy.

Here’s How To Create It: There are 4 types of questions that help build emotional intimacy.

They are:
1. Feeling Questions
2. Interest Questions
3. Future Questions
4. Play Questions

Why the people pleasing daughter ends up with the emotionally reactive son.

This will help you understand your relationship: The people pleasing daughter was conditioned to calm down emotionally reactive parents. She learned early how to deal with people who had tempers. She’s easy, quiet, and agreeable to make her life easier.

Cortisol is a stress hormone that causes disease, weight gain, and inflammation in the body.

We can lower our cortisol through our diet.

3 Foods That To Naturally Lower Cortisol Levels: The foods we eat impact the way our body responds to stress. Specifically, it impacts the level of cortisol we have in our body. Cortisol is a stress hormone. In small doses cortisol is actually highly beneficial.

Most people are children in adult bodies.

Emotional immaturity is a silent epidemic.

How to know if someone is emotionally mature: For many generations, parents were told having children meant building a roof over their head and providing them with food. But children have emotional needs that require parents to be attuned, open, and conscious.

The impact of having a narcissistic mother

A THREAD: Being raised by a narcissistic mother means your mother hasn’t fully emotionally matured.

Her main focus is her own needs and the way she’s perceived. Image is everything.

How to support someone through a difficult time.

A STEP BY STEP GUIDE: When someone goes through something difficult, it can bring up feelings of helplessness and anxiety in us. These feelings make us go into fixer or saver mode because we’re uncomfortable.