Join my private healing community @selfhealerscirc 👇🏼
Jun 12 • 10 tweets • 1 min read
An emotionally unavailable partner slowly puts your body into survival mode.
Here's Why:
When someone's emotionally unavailable, you can feel completely alone in the relationship. You're trying to connect, trying to find middle ground, or trying to "get" them, but they push you away every time.
Jun 5 • 14 tweets • 2 min read
Over-explaining is a form of emotional begging.
It keeps you trap in a cycle of anxiety.
How to say less and mean more:
Over-explaining is a habit response. It comes from emotional monitoring. When we believe someone might feel upset or hurt by something we say, we over-explain to try to please the other person and to protect ourselves.
Jun 4 • 13 tweets • 2 min read
If you've experienced chronic pain or exhaustion doctors have told you "nothing is wrong," you might be experiencing...
Mind body syndrome (MBS)
Here's what you need to know:
Our emotions and stress activate the same pain centers in the brain as physical injury. When we experience physical pain the body, we believe this must mean structural damage or damage to our tissue.
May 20 • 9 tweets • 1 min read
The most unseen privilege in life is a supportive family.
How it impacts every aspect of your life:
Being born into a supportive family means your immune system and nervous system function better.
May 4 • 13 tweets • 2 min read
Learning the art of not being emotionally controlled will change your life.
Here's a Step by Step Guide:
There are 4 main ways people emotionally control others:
They have a high need for control and extreme focus on public perception.
How to know if you're friends with a covert narcissist:
At first, the covert narcissist seems charming and attentive. They present themselves as accomplished, self aware, and loving.
In this stage, they're idealizing you, noticing how generous you are, and how available you are to them.
Apr 26 • 13 tweets • 2 min read
Silence is a form of self respect.
It's how we actually hold someone accountable.
The Myth of "Getting Closure"
Human beings have an intense desire to understand things. It helps us feel safe.
We love the idea of holding someone accountable, because we want them to see how they've hurt or wronged us.
Apr 23 • 12 tweets • 2 min read
This is the partner the "angry daughter" wants:
1. Someone who doesn't invalidate her: she's heard she's too sensitive or over reacting her whole life. She wants someone who listens, is curious about her feelings, and who wants to hear how to love her well.
Apr 21 • 12 tweets • 2 min read
People with High Narcissistic Traits (HNT) feel terrified when they're emotionally intimate with people.
They want to run.
Why You Feel Alone In Relationships With Them:
People with high narcissistic traits have had many attachment injuries during childhood.
This left them with the belief that they're broken, shameful, and defective.
They cope with this through "needing no one."
Apr 7 • 13 tweets • 2 min read
How to deal with someone with an avoidant attachment style:
People with avoidant attachment feel most safe when they are alone and independent. They learned early people can't be trusted, and that no one will help them when they need it.
Apr 6 • 12 tweets • 2 min read
The best way to respond to difficult or combative people is to never fawn, apologize, or shrink.
A complete guide to not having a cortisol spike:
Difficult or combative people are trying to re-enforce victimhood in almost every experience they have. Daily interactions become an opportunity for them to create conflict where conflict doesn't exist.
Apr 1 • 14 tweets • 2 min read
How To Stop Obsessing Over Them
(A Complete Guide to Limerence):
Our society doesn't recognize love addiction, but it's real. Especially for people with anxious attachment patterns. Your brain becomes hijacked.
You analyze every text.
You check your phone more than you want to admit.
Mar 30 • 11 tweets • 2 min read
If you never saw your mother be loved well...
If her downfall came from her marriage that broke her, here's how you can honor her today:
Some of us watched our mothers live in chains. Not visible chains, but the chains of a toxic marriage, of doing all the emotional labor, and of giving much more than she ever received.
Mar 26 • 10 tweets • 2 min read
The chaos you dealt with as a child becomes the ADHD or bipolar you develop as an adult:
Trouble holding attention, dissociating for long period of time, and unstable moods are symptoms.
Why would we have focus, attention, and emotional stability when we're angry and unsafe?
Mar 22 • 11 tweets • 2 min read
How to deal with someone who is committed to misunderstanding you:
Emotionally difficult people are fulfilled by getting someone else emotionally activated. They want your reaction. Good or bad, it feeds their deep longing for connection.
Mar 21 • 10 tweets • 2 min read
Crying is the body's way of processing emotions.
Apologizing for crying or telling someone to stop crying blocks our brain from releasing painful events.
The Science of Tears:
When we have an emotional experience, our limbic system alerts the brain and facial nerves to produce tears. Tears release neurotransmitters and hormonal stress responses from the body.
Mar 11 • 11 tweets • 2 min read
Visiting your low-effort family is confusing.
They always want you to visit, but once you're there they're distracted.
How To Deal With A Low Effort Family:
Low effort families struggle to emotionally connect. They don't want to visit you, and have an expectation you should always visit them. They rarely call you to check in, you have to call first.
Mar 10 • 10 tweets • 2 min read
The real reason relationships end is because no one wants to parent their partner.
That's how respect and attraction is lost.
Here's what you expect from a partner:
You've spent a long time taking care of everyone else. You want a partner who makes your life easier, not more difficult. Someone who finally steps up to take care of you, too.
Mar 2 • 10 tweets • 2 min read
When you grow up with an angry father, sometimes you become him:
Growing up with an angry father, you learned to read the house like a weather report. The sound of his footsteps, the tone of his voice, or the look on his face told you exactly how to brace yourself.
Feb 21 • 13 tweets • 2 min read
Most of your problems in life come from lack of communication skills.
How to say what you mean and get what you want:
Getting what you want starts with directly asking for what you want. With better communication skills, you'll be less frustrated with and more connected to everyone around you.
Feb 16 • 19 tweets • 3 min read
How to deal with someone who has a high level of narcissistic traits:
Narcissistic traits come from arrested development. Arrested development means someone stopped emotional or social growth. They age physically, but not mentally.
