Dr. Nicole LePera Profile picture
Psychologist, Author, Podcaster 🔮I teach you how to heal and consciously create a new version of yourself 👇🏼MY NEW WORKBOOK👇🏼
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Dec 1 12 tweets 3 min read
Complex trauma (C-PTSD) comes from repeated experiences in childhood when we felt helpless or unable to control what happened to us.

This relational trauma has a profound impact on our lives.

HERE'S HOW: 🧵 C-PTSD happens when we experience developmental trauma as children, longterm.

This could be: childhood emotional neglected (checked out parent), emotionally abusive parent, homes where we witness dysfunctional dynamics, homes where we're parentified, etc.
Dec 1 10 tweets 2 min read
I'm a Psychologist on my own healing journey, and these are 5 things I remind myself on a regular basis...

A THREAD 🧵: 1. I release perfectionism: my perfectionism is a survival strategy I used to stay safe in an unsafe family without emotional connection
Nov 30 14 tweets 3 min read
There are 5 main skills necessary for emotional intimacy.

Few of us actually learned this skills, but all of us can practice them to create healthier relationships.

HERE'S HOW (🧵:) The health of our relationships depends on the relational skills we have.

We learn relational skills by modeling.

Meaning, our parents model these skills and we adapt or repeat these skills as adults.
Nov 30 20 tweets 4 min read
Let's talk about social anxiety disorder.

So many people not at ease with people, need to drink in order to socialize, or fears what people are thinking of them.

HERE'S WHY... (A THREAD 🧵): The environment we are raised within shapes our brain and our nervous system.
Nov 29 17 tweets 3 min read
The partner we choose has a profound impact on every aspect of our lives.

To find partner whose a match for the life we're seeking, we need to understand our relationship values.

A THREAD🧵 Relationship values are things that are meaningful, fulfilling, and important within our relationships.

Many of us don't know what our relationships values are, because we've been sold a "fairy tale" version of love.
Nov 28 15 tweets 2 min read
6 Signs Your Nervous System is Dysregulated

(and why it matters)

A THREAD 🧵: Our autonomic nervous system has 2 main parts:

- Parasympathetic (rest and digest)

- Sympathetic (fight or flight response)
Nov 28 9 tweets 2 min read
Try these small acts of self respect for 30 days and you'll start 2023 with a completely different mentality.

A THREAD 🧵 1. SAY NO, regularly:

Emotionally healthy people understand the power of no, & respect their own boundaries.

By saying "no" you have more time to:
- focus on your own personal growth
- focus on more emotional intimacy in your relationships
- rest & recover
Nov 27 11 tweets 2 min read
The foundation of any healthy relationship is emotional intimacy.

Meaning, you regularly show interest in and care about each other's internal world.

A THREAD 🧵: Emotional intimacy is the process of intentionally connecting with your partner through actions that allow them to feel: seen, heard, and understood.

In order to have emotional intimacy, we have to practice vulnerable sharing.
Nov 27 7 tweets 2 min read
Many couples are on a healing journey or doing the inner work together.

Here's things to keep in mind as you both grow and evolve.

A THREAD 🧵: 1. You won't always be growing at the same rate.

Growth looks different for each person. You might feel "behind" or "ahead" of your partner, and that's ok. It's helpful to accept where you both are and support each other's process.
Nov 26 18 tweets 3 min read
Childhood trauma comes back as a reaction, a symptom, or a core belief.

A THREAD 🧵: Childhood trauma is so impactful on our lives because it's trauma that occurred during our emotional development.

This shapes: the way we see ourselves, other people, and the world around us.
Nov 26 8 tweets 2 min read
Our society (overall) lacks boundaries.

Here's 6 ways to respond to people who violate boundaries...

A THREAD 🧵: Boundary violation #1: Comments about weight, diet, or physical appearance.

Ex: "Is it me or have you put on a little weight?"

Response: "Conversations about my weight is off limits."
Nov 24 9 tweets 2 min read
7 Signs You're Having A Spiritual Awakening 🕊️

THREAD 🧵: 1. You realize your life has meaning and you weren't mean to be a human machine that works, then dies.
Nov 23 11 tweets 2 min read
Not enough people talk about how difficult the holidays are when you're on a healing journey.

Here's some tips on how to navigate the holidays when you have a dysfunctional family or narcissistic parents (NP)

A THREAD 🧵: For some, the holidays are a time of joy and bonding.

For others, the holidays can bring up a lot of intense emotions and re-trigger childhood wounding.
Nov 22 6 tweets 1 min read
There are 2 common forms of Narcissistic Parents (NP):

1. Self Centering NP

2. Abrasive NP

A THREAD 🧵: Self Centering NP: tend to be obsessively self focused.

All conversations go back to themselves. They struggle to understand another person's perspective or even think that it matters.

But, interacting with them doesn't result in verbal or emotional abuse.
Nov 22 10 tweets 1 min read
8 Signs of An Emotionally Safe Person

A THREAD 🧵: 1. They allow you to self express without invalidating your feelings or denying your reality.
Nov 21 19 tweets 3 min read
We've mistaken longevity as the measure of a successful marriage.

Here's a different way to look at what makes a successful marriage (or relationship) and why the end of a relationship doesn't mean you've failed.

A THREAD 🧵: Longevity is viewed as the tell-tale sign of a successful marriage in our society.

We celebrate anniversary milestones and admire couples who've been together for decades, but this says little (if anything) about the emotional health of the relationship.
Nov 20 7 tweets 1 min read

A THREAD 🧵: Becoming self aware involves the practice of self witnessing. This means, seeing yourself from a macro or "overhead" perspective.

Many of us lack self awareness because we're constantly trapped in our thinking mind.

Unable to actually see ourselves.
Nov 20 19 tweets 3 min read
Let's talk about why it's so empowering to understand your attachment style, and how it can help you create healthier relationships.

A THREAD 🧵: We learn to love, how to be in relationships, and how to relate to other people through that relationship with a parent. The first relationships we have as children with our parent figures, create either an insecure or a secure attachment style.
Nov 19 18 tweets 3 min read
I spent years as a couples therapist.

I saw one common theme that always created conflict.

This one change can completely transform your relationship, but it takes work.

HERE'S HOW TO START🧵: When couples came to see me, their main problem wasn't the problem they thought it was.

The actual problem was: lack of communication.
Nov 19 10 tweets 2 min read
6 Ways To Directly Ask Your Partner For Your Needs To Be Met

A THREAD 🧵 Our partners aren't mind readers.

Many of us have learned passive ways of communicating so we expect people to "just know" what we want.

This isn't fair to ourselves. Or our partners.
Nov 18 23 tweets 3 min read
Few of us had the opportunity to grow up in a functional family. People who do: have high self worth, confidence, & healthier adult relationships.

Luckily, there are core traits and skills within functional families that we can all learn.

THEY ARE🧵: Functional families are rare in our culture.

Because generational trauma is the norm, and very little emphasis has been put on: self awareness, emotional regulation, healthy communication, and healthy family system dynamics.