1. Some of us always knew something “happened” to our mothers, but didn’t know what…

A tribute to the mothers who carried silent pain: Growing up, some of us knew our mothers had been through something extremely painful or unthinkable. Maybe it was how overprotective she was. Or her comments for us to cover up. Maybe it was the way we knew she wasn’t at peace.

Emotionally immature people (EIP) struggle most with: listening.

They can interrupt, talk over, or completely shut down to conversation.

Here's Why: Emotionally immature people do not have a fully formed sense of self. Their childhoods had repeated events of complex trauma, leaving them to become quickly dyregulated. They also never learned how to cope with their own emotions.

The New Generational Wealth:

Witnessing respect between your parents, even if they're not together anymore. The New Generational Wealth:

Growing up in a home where people apologize and repair after conflict.

If you were “mature for their age” you might have been parentified. Parentification is when a child is made to fill an adult role.

This is an “invisible” trauma that has life long impact.

HERE’S WHY: 🧵 Parentification is an extremely common family dynamic where children are expected to: manage their parents emotions or issues (most common is marital problems), take care of the home & siblings on a regular basis, or act as a peer to a parent.

In relationships that end, one thing is always lacking:

Appreciation.

WHY APPRECIATION MATTERS: Most people grew up in homes where their talents, traits, and unique quirks went unseen or unnoticed. This leaves people with an even deeper desire to be seen and appreciated by their partner.

How to be assertive (without being rude): Assertive people have high confidence.

They can: stand up for themselves, express their feelings, and are capable of being misunderstood.

The parentified son believes his role is to keep everyone around him happy. But inside he's drowning in doubt and wonders if he'll ever meet someone who appreciates him for who he is, not what he can do for them. The parentified son was the "little man" of the house when he was just a child. He felt the weight of his mother's stress and stopped showing any fear or sadness because she looked to him to comfort her. He still feels he's responsible for her life choices.

The end result of childhood trauma is: an overdeveloped sense of responsibility.

You think you need to fix everyone and everything.

Here's How To Break Free: Growing up in a chaotic, unstable, or unpredictable environment creates a core belief that we have to fix everything and everyone around us.

Someone is trying to guilt you.

This doesn't mean you've done something wrong.

Reminders for when you feel guilty: We feel guilt for many different reasons. Sometimes, it's because of our own behavior. Other times it's because we've been made to believe we're responsible for the emotions of other people.

How To Deal With Someone Giving You The Silent Treatment:

(A Thread) The silent treatment is when a person abruptly starts to ignore you and your presence as a punishment. They control when the silent treatment is given and when they'll speak to you again. This can last for hours, days, or even months.

You're not meant to be emotionally regulated all the time.

Being dysregulated can help us.

Here's Why: Sometimes, your emotions need to be dysregulated. When someone disrespects you, violates a boundary, or when you're heartbroken dysregulation is actually a healthy sign that you're connected to your own emotional experience.

Helicopter parenting creates adults who are easily frustrated and entitled.

Children need to experience loss, rejection, and hurt.

HERE'S WHY: Many well-meaning parents don't want their children to experience pain. So, they attempt to protect them from their feelings. They see them struggling with something and step in to "fix" it.

Normalize: having hope.

Understand your choices create your life, and you can overcome anything.

What we need to start teaching in society: Today, so much focus is on what we can't do.

And how systems are rigged, and we do not have much impact on the outcome of our lives.

As a child I had a nagging sense that someone was going to break in my house in the middle of the night.

Or, that my parents would die.

Here's why we have anxious, crisis thoughts: As a child, I remember staying up late with a deep fear someone would break in. I didn't understand my anxiety or why I had these "dark" thoughts. To cope with them, I made my room spotless.

Constantly reorganizing things.

Women don't belong in the workplace...

A THREAD 🧵 Women don't belong in the kitchen.

Or having babies.

Modern marriage is about having an (actual) partner.

Someone who shows up for you and works on themselves.

How Marriage Has Changed: In the past (and still in many places), marriage was mostly an arrangement. Dowries were paid. And often women were married off. With divorce stigmatized or not an option, many people silently suffered in their marriages.

Let's talk about how sex can be used to escape emotional intimacy: Sexual connection is a beautiful way to build deeper bonds and to create trust. But it can also be a way to create distrust and and to avoid facing parts of ourselves.

You're finally leaving survival mode.

Here's What It You'll Experience: 1. Periods of exhaustion.

As you adjust and heal you'll feel a heaviness in your body and a desire to sleep a lot. Rest is some of the most important self care during this time.

Avoidant partners deny issues and are quick to feel smothered.

They cope by clinging to their independence or running from issues.

How To Deal With An Avoidant Partner: People with avoidant attachment want closeness, but also feel smothered and uncomfortable with it.

They've learned to not trust and use distance and independence as a coping mechanism.

How to (actually) stop being impulsive and making choices you regret.

A GUIDE: Being impulsive is the result of chronic emotional dysregulation.

Emotional dysregulation creates racing thoughts and uncomfortable sensations in the body. This usually feels like anxiety or being stuck and frozen.

Women don't hear these things.

And they need to.

What a generation of women (finally) need to know: You don't need to have a prepared speech or an excuse not to do something.

It's ok to say no.