Thread by @hailhydra_01

#Divorce
One post by someone I follow triggered a series of thoughts. I have great respect for her but I thought I must dispel some misconceptions.
(1/n)

Rishis, our shastras do not recommend divorce, yes, but in many cases involving children, esp.if the spouse has a psychopathic character, a legal document becomes necessary.
And to get that document, petitioners go through literal hell.
(2/n)

Most often the decision to separate and get a divorce is not done in an instant. I know people who have endured decades of violence, torture at the hands of the spouse before they take this step.
(3/n)

After that, the courts make it even more difficult to get the papers in hand. Our courts do not support divorce, they try their best to make the couple reunite. Due to the long process, I know a few who have reunited putting aside their differences
(4/n)

Going to court and spending a whole day just to get another date for hearing is not easy. It pulls you down like crazy, mental preparation, planning, what to tell colleagues, handling the relatives who want to know gossip. It takes a huge toll. (5/n)

Only in the case of a mutual consent does court grant a divorce earlier than others. I know some who have been fighting it out for 14+ years. Paying lawyer fees, adjusting schedule to attend hearings, manage the ego-hurt in-laws. Now if you add kids in this mix, arpudam. (6/n)

Kids custody, visitation rights, making ends meet, putting up a brave face at family events. It is not easy. When the lawyer meets you, first thing they mostly ask is, have you made up your mind? Because it is going to be a long and tough journey. (7/n)

Somehow with time, most transform themselves to face the challenges head on. Now after all this, society comes to bite. Not easy to get a house on rent. Kids school la sometimes they ask for other parent to sign.
(8/n)

Getting kid's passport is another headache. Getting visa to go somewhere even for vacation is nearly impossible. Permission is absolutely necessary for any travel, noc kedacha luck else wait for kid to become 18. (9/n)

Seri if this is handled, embassies like US will not give visa to the single parent so easily because they fear this person will marry someone from US and settle there 😂😂😂 (applies for unmarried folks going on tourist visa too, first hand info) (10/n)

Ultimately no one has it easy. No one married just to get divorced. We dream of a nice life and family when we get married. If some things have to happen, they happen. If you think those who are divorced are all libs and feminists, you are mistaken. (11/n)

It is not just the petitioners who suffer all this, the parents if they are supporting their children, both sides have to go through hardships. If people are able to sit at a table and come to an understanding, nothing like it. Unfortunately it doesn't happen. (12/n)

Ego plays a huge part in the whole matter, then it boils down to money -alimony and maintenance for the kids (if there). Courts do not usually give judgements in favour of women, please do not be mistaken. I have seen judges scold the woman petitioner in front of everyone. (13/n)

Hearings happen in front of a crowd of people, related and unrelated to the case. Washing dirty linen in public more too often. Some judges are considerate, most of them are not, they do not like family court cases, they just want to get it done with. (14/n)

I have just given a gist of what happens in the life of a petitioner, there is a lot more. I put this thread out only for awareness sake, not to show anyone in bad light. Apologies if it seems so, that is not the intent. _/\_ (n/n)