Thread by @pseudonymoose12

#svsss baby yuan makes a friend☺️
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A-Yuan was four years old when his meimei was born. A-Yuan was four when his older brothers started playing with him less. A-Yuan was four when his parents became far too busy with work.

He was four when he learned what death meant.

That's what the doctor had told his parents, that's what they told him - that he would soon be dead.

They had phrased it a bit better but the point was he would die soon. He could vividly recall his a-niang bursting into tears, his a-die used his angry voice towards the doctor.

Meanwhile he just really wanted to go home because his favorite show was going to air soon, and he would miss it if they stayed in the room any longer.

Needless to say, the ride home was... uncomfortably silent save for his a-niang's sniffles.

A-Yuan did not really see the big deal then. He had always been a bit more sickly compared to his siblings. The idea of 'dying' because of a cough or cold was hard for him to comprehend.

He wanted to ask his a-niang about it but he did not want to see her cry anymore. He knows bringing up what the doctor said would only upset her. He tried to look for his a-die, but he had already locked himself in his study.

When his da-ge and er-ge came home from school later that day, A-Yuan jumped at the chance to ask them. His er-ge ran past him to head straight to his room, probably to play video games which only left his da-ge.

So he asked.

His brother folded his arms across his chest

and looked at him thoughtfully.

"Dying means the end I think."

A-Yuan scrunched his nose, "The end?"

"Uh huh. Like in a video game, if you die, it's game over," his brother elaborated further, "it also means you can't have any more birthdays either."

"So...no more cake?"

"No more cake."

Oh. Dying sounds sad now. He was bummed that he won't get to have more birthdays and more cake when he dies.
---
A-Yuan was four when things changed in their home. His parents had explained his health situation to his brothers and the rest of the household.

He got sick even more frequently. He felt achy and sore, sometimes felt too hot then too cold, he felt tired and weak all the time now.

At first, his family hovered around him a lot. But later they had other things to tend to so they hired people to look after him.

It was fine, A-Yuan often told himself. He understood that his family are busy with other stuff. His parents have their business and meimei to think of, and his brothers were swamped with school work most of the time.

A-Yuan could make do...

He was four when he met a fairly.

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He did not know how or why, but it was during one of (what his doctor called) 'bad days' that he saw the fairy.

His vision may have been hazy at the time, but he was certain that there was someone else in the room with him.

Instead of the dull colored scrubs often worn by his personal nurses, this fairy wore a beautiful green silk robe (the kind usually worn by characters in the historical dramas his a-niang used to watch). His hair was long and flowy, the longest A-Yuan has ever seen on a man.

However, the fairy looked so serious. A-Yuan thought he would look prettier with a smile. So despite how his body felt like lead, he propped himself up and waved at the fairy.

He was feeling kinda lone--bored. Maybe he could befriend him.

"Hi! Would you like to play with me?"

---
A-Yuan was five when he tried to introduce his new fairy friend to the family...they didn't believe him.

His parents looked at him skeptically. He overheard them once; they said he was making up an imaginary friend to cope...whatever that meant.

And his brothers humored him at first. But eventually they grew tired of pretending to see the so-called 'fairy'.

That was...that was fine.

As long as he had his fairy friend, it was okay.

His fairy friend was so nice. A-Yuan and his fairy had really gotten close over the year.

He may seem kinda scary to approach at first, but he's actually very kind.

His fairy listens to him talk about his favorite shows (he's currently introducing him to pokemon). He reads stories for him. And when he is good and take all of his medicine, the fairy tucks him into bed. He speaks to him softly until he falls asleep.

During his 'good days' his fairy mysteriously disappears. But always comes back in the nick of time to cheer him up when A-Yuan was feeling worse than usual.

So he wasn't just a fairy, he was his guardian fairy.
---

A-Yuan was five when the doctors said his condition was worsening. He couldn't even get out of bed now. He was attached to so many wires and tubes. They said those were good for him but how could they be when they all hurt so bad.

His parents had visited him in his room earlier that day along with his brothers. His meimei was most likely with her nanny.

They were all crying. Even his a-die who he never saw cry before, shed actual tears.

He wanted to comfort them. But he was just so tired...

His a-niang peppered his face with soft kisses. His a-die stroked his hair lovingly. His older brothers...well, they were a mess.

He hated how much pain he was causing his family. He wanted it all to stop.

He was slipping and he knew it. He was scared.

But then he wasn't.

Because looking behind his family, he could see his guardian fairy. His usual serious expression was replaced with a warm smile, a microscopic 'barely-even-there' one, but a smile nonetheless.

He felt braver. More sure of himself.

While he was sad he'd be leaving his family; sad that he'd never get to hug his parents, play with his brothers, watch his meimei grow up, and have no more birthday cake, he knew they'd all be alright in the end.

So he allowed himself to finally drift away.

---

Was this the end?

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No. No it couldn't be, could it?

There was pain, and then it was gone just like that. His body felt extremely light which was...it wasn't something he usually experienced after a severe qi deviation. His - for a lack of a better word - fucked up cultivation has left him prone to such.

But he was used to them by now, and was painfully aware of the signs. He just wasn't expecting this one to hurt this much. He was certain that this was it for him. Shen Qingqiu, the Qing Jing Peak Lord. Cang Qiong's strategist. The Xiu Ya Sword..no-

𝘚𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘑𝘪𝘶 was dying.

After all that he's been through, all that he had suffered...he was reduced to a writhing, undignified heap in his bamboo house.

He was supposed to die. Except he didn't.

Instead, he was somehow spirited away from his peak and into..a young child's room?

The room's original occupant, a frail little boy who appeared as if a strong gust of wind could blow him away, looked up at him in wonder (annoyance, disgust, scorn, and fear, he was accustomed to. Wonder was new).

If the child were one of his disciples, he would have rebuked

him for having no sense of self preservation. Because the boy's first response to a complete stranger suddenly appearing in his room was to smile and say-

"Hi! Would you like to play with me?"

Shen Jiu might have still been feeling the after effects of the qi deviation

because against his better judgment, he said yes.

---
He did not know how or why, but Shen Jiu gets sent back and forth between his peak and this peculiar child's room. He couldn't figure out much other than that there was a pattern to his visits. That and for some inexplicable

reason, no one else but the boy could see him.

It was fine, he often told himself. He did not think that the child's family would take too well to meeting him anyway.

He grew to actually enjoy his time with the boy for he proved to be good company.

(Which was more than he could say for any of the other peak lords back at the sect.)

Throughout his time with him, Shen Jiu found out that the child was so easy to please. His wants were so simple.

He learned that all the boy wanted was someone to listen to him, to be with him, for someone to stay.

(Now why did that sound familiar.)

Shen Jiu also learned that the boy who gave his smiles and hugs so freely, the boy who talked his ear off about weird pocket monsters...

did not have much time left in this world.

Shen Jiu did not think he knew how to love. But he was more than willing to try for this child. Everything that Shen Jiu wished for but never gotten, he made a silent vow to give it all for him, for A-Yuan...

---

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. It was as if Shen Jiu had blinked and already, a year has passed.

He spent every day that he could to ensure that A-Yuan never felt alone.

Today would be the same.

A-Yuan was dying. He could feel it. Just as he could feel

his tether to this world coming undone.

His heart, though withered it may be, broke at the sight of the boy he had grown to care for simply fading away.

A-Yuan's doctors had attached his fragile body to countless wirings and tubes. They said it would help. But how could they

when all they seemed to do was cause the child more pain.

However, he could not interfere even if he wanted to. He could only serve as a comforting presence as numerous people milled about the room tending to A-Yuan.

Eventually, his family came. To say their goodbyes.

This was hard for A-Yuan, it was plain to see. He knows of the silly child's tendency to worry over others despite being the one in pain. Despite him being scared.

So Shen Jiu smiled, hoping that it would be enough to convey the words the boy needed to hear at that moment.

"𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦. 𝘋𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘥...𝘐'𝘮 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦."

Shen Jiu's throat felt like it was stuffed with cotton when A-Yuan, his silly, lovely, little A-Yuan, attempted to smile back - it was small given how the tubes impeded him. Yet

it was infectious. The twinkle in his eyes remained for a little while longer before they finally dimmed.

A-Yuan was gone. So Shen Jiu allowed himself to finally drift away..
---

Getting sent back to his bamboo house on Qing Jing was like waking from a dream.

Shen Jiu blinked once. Then twice before finally letting himself break down and mourn in the silence of his home.

Maybe he would have been better off if the qi deviation actually did him in. Instead, fate wanted to be cruel and give Shen Jiu a taste of something he can't have.

Was this some sort of punishment, some kind of test?

Whatever it was, Shen Jiu hated it.

...Why did he always have to lose someone?

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He was lost...He was alone.

He tried to be brave. Really, he did. But it was hard.

A-Yuan was supposed to be dead. He wasn't supposed to be 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 anymore. A-niang said he'd be in a better place. That he won't remember anything after.

But they were wrong.

A-Yuan wasn't in a better place. He woke up lost and alone in what looked like a big dark cave. Gone were the nice soft sheets of his bed and familiar walls of his room. Instead, he was now sitting on the cold ground with rocks that scraped his bare feet.

A-Yuan also remembered other things. From the times he and his geges fought over the TV remote to the day a-niang and a-die brought his new meimei home. He can clearly recall the way doctors poked and prodded at him with countless needles and tests. How sad his family looked.

How his heart had stopped beating.He remembered and it was overwhelming. The thoughts caused him to curl into himself. Make himself smaller.

Everything was wrong. Like he wasn't meant to be here with his heart pumping rhythmically in his chest. Alive. Breathing.

It was wrong.

The feeling of cold and empty space that seemed to envelop him on every side was suffocating. His eyes began to burn as it was getting harder to breathe.

He needed find something. Anything to get rid of the awful feeling in his chest.

(Cw // self-harm )

So he started scratching. A-Yuan's nails dug into the skin of his arms. He scratched and scratched and his skin gone red.

It was a bad habit, his a-die once told him. Just like how da-ge bit his nails when he's nervous or how his er-ge chewed the eraser part of his pencils when he was bored.

But scratching was...well, it wasn't nice. But it let him know that something else is happening other than

the feeling that was threatening to consume his entire being.

Tears finally escaped his eyes as he continued scratching the flesh of his wrist. Little beads of blood began to form from his wounds.

He could barely register anything anymore. His vision a blur.

Then he heard it. It was very faint but he could make out the words clearly in his mind.

"...𝘋𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘥...𝘐'𝘮 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦."

A-Yuan stopped and then took a deep, shuddering breath.

His fairy...he remembered his fairy too.

His fairy who always looked so stern, so severe, but was actually a big softie inside. His fairy who watched the Byebye Butterfree episode with him and wiped away his tears. His fairy who drove away all the monters in his closet.

His fairy who made sure he wasn't lonely. His fairy who made him feel safe...

His fairy had smiled at him then, just before he died.

Amidst all his family's cries, all their pleadings for him to hold on a little while longer. His fairy made sure that he wouldn't be afraid.

A-Yuan slowly got up and dusted himself off. The action caused his arms to sting a bit but he paid them no mind.

He wants to see his fairy friend again. And maybe, just maybe he'll be able to find him.

Afterall, his fairy always came when he needed him. Surely this

still holds true.

Although searching for him would indeed prove difficult given how he was now without his glasses...or shoes. A-Yuan would make do.

He was about to take a step forward when he vaguely made out a familiar yellow shape nearby.

He let out a small gasp and

made his way towards it. When he reached down for it, he was met with the familiar softness of his beloved plush toy.

"Pikachu...I missed you," he breathlessly whispered onto its cheek, "You and me, we're going to go find our fairy. Okay?"

He wasn't expecting an answer, but already A-Yuan felt less alone and more assured. Finding his fairy would be easier now that he had another friend with him.

But first, he had to get out of the cave.

He had no choice but to simply move forward from where he was at. He walked slowly and stuck close to the cave walls. It was hard to navigate the place and his feet were already sore.

He found himself stumbling and falling every now and then. Already his knees and palms were all scraped up and his feet weren't any better either. A-Yuan did not know how long he had been wandering through the cave. But he kept his Pikachu plush close to his chest and

kept on walking.

It was when he had been walking for what felt like hours that he heard another sound... footsteps.

A-Yuan tensed up and scampered quickly behind a nearby boulder to hide. He clasped a hand over his mouth and Pikachu's to prevent them from making a noise.

In some of the movies he had seen, caves were often hideouts for bad guys or a super villain's evil lair. He would not be able to defend himself if that were the case.

He was wary. But curiosity got the best of him instead.

So he peered out from his hiding spot and saw...