Neurodivergent #masking (e.g., forcing eye contact, following a conversation script, tic suppression) is a symptom of society’s intolerance towards observable characteristics that don’t align with normative standards of ‘acceptable’, able-bodied behaviour.
Neurodivergent people are conditioned to “be normal” in order to survive, feel safe, or be accepted. However, this in itself presents challenges. When we mask, our condition is often missed, we face identity erasure, challenges setting boundaries, and poor mental health.
If we’re lucky enough to reach a stage in our life when we can finally be our authentic self, we have likely faced most (if not all) of these hardships. Meanwhile, it can take years to learn who we really are, while simultaneously unlearning these engrained masking strategies.
It’s a long and difficult journey of processing trauma, identity discovery, learning what is and isn’t acceptable, learning to accept ourselves, and finding a community that truly accepts us.
This is what we do when we enforce these standards on neurodivergent children. We tell them who they are isn’t safe or enough.
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