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Oct 20 • 3 tweets • 1 min read
I know everybody thinks the UK is some unstable banana republic right now, but this is exactly what democracy is supposed to look like when leaders screw up. Canada only *appears* more stable because we have a ludicrously high tolerance for failure.
Theresa May, Boris and Liz Truss all generally lost their jobs due to screw-ups that would barely cover a week's worth of headlines for the Trudeau government.
My God, we haven't even had time to cover the Lucki Affair what with all the other scandals. A Brit would have been sent into freaking continental exile over blackface.

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More from @TristinHopper

Tristin Hopper Profile picture
Oct 21
When I'm eventually cancelled, my dream is to become the programming director at a retirement home where I will blow the entire annual budget on a nonagenarian-only production of The Wall.
The Trial WILL feature nudity and pyrotechnics.
When I come out for the final bow on opening night, the front rows will note that I've obviously spent the entire evening crying.
Read 4 tweets
Tristin Hopper Profile picture
Oct 21
I never cease to be baffled and outraged that you can read a children's book with 40 words total and the author is a different person than the illustrator.
Page 1: Where is the cat?
Page 2: Why does the dog have spots?
Page 3: Can you say 'red'?
The End.

And address the royalty cheques to my Florida address this time, idiot.
Like, fuuuuuuuck Bill Martin Jr. You think your piece of shit bear book has a snowball's chance in hell without Eric Carle? Image
Read 4 tweets
Tristin Hopper Profile picture
Oct 19
So I finally got around to reading the BC government's official report into its deadly problem with "catch and release" justice. Not one of the 28 recommendations comes even close to "maybe don't release violent criminals and sex offenders before trial." news.gov.bc.ca/files/Investig…
Mental health supports can fix *some* of the problem with recidivist offenders but ... jesus christ, just stop releasing people who love to rape and assault strangers.
Innocent and often low-income women keep getting lifelong brain injuries due to random street assaults, any ideas?

A $150,000/year academic ...
Read 6 tweets
Tristin Hopper Profile picture
Oct 19
My totally novel way to address modern-day sex scarcity: Find someone who wants to bang you a few times a week and enter into some kind of legal contract where you live together and she tells you to do things and stuff.
The first point is key: You may be compatible on all kinds of other metrics, but the "wanting to bang often" is pretty critical.
Make friends with her parents. Go to farmer's markets together. I'm not sure how these things got tied up with the core activity of banging each other a few times a week, but I wouldn't question it.
Read 4 tweets
Tristin Hopper Profile picture
Oct 19
Norman Rockwell clearly never attended a city council meeting. Otherwise, this would be a painting of a man wearing far too many buttons rising to mumble a speech about the tyranny of water fluoridation. Image
"May I direct you to section 9 of the United Nations Convention on the Law of the Sea ..."
"Sir, this is a hearing to discuss dog fouling bylaws ..."
Read 5 tweets
Tristin Hopper Profile picture
Jun 16
Literally the only benefit to having me as an elected official is that I would be just as much of a cheapskate in public office. I'd take the bus, pack lunches to international summits and my moving expenses would all be a flat fee of $100 paid to a friend I call "The Messenger."
Literally every state dinner. Image
I'd bring the entire NATION'S laundry. washingtonpost.com/national-secur…
Read 4 tweets

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