Siblings can grow up in the same home, but can have completely different experiences of their childhood and views of their parents.
HERE’S WHY 🧵:
HERE’S WHY 🧵:
When a child is born, they’re born into a set of emotional circumstances.
These emotional circumstances are created by: the relationship between parents, the ages of parents (and where they’re at in their own growth) economic factors, career factors, etc.
These emotional circumstances are created by: the relationship between parents, the ages of parents (and where they’re at in their own growth) economic factors, career factors, etc.
For example: one sibling is born to parents at 26 years old— right after marriage. The couple faces financial pressure and the pressures of learning to navigate life together.
Their first child is the center of their universe.
Their first child is the center of their universe.
But, one parent is heavily invested in establishing their career path.
4 years later, with an established career and at a very different stage in their relationship, this same couple has their second child.
4 years later, with an established career and at a very different stage in their relationship, this same couple has their second child.
This child has a completely different perspective of their parents. Financial circumstances have changed, and the parent’s relationships is more stable.
The parent who feels they “missed” much of their first child’s life is heavily involved.
The parent who feels they “missed” much of their first child’s life is heavily involved.
Forming a different bond with the second born child.
3 years later, a third child is born. The parents (at this stage of their relationship) are emotionally disconnected. And distant with each other.
3 years later, a third child is born. The parents (at this stage of their relationship) are emotionally disconnected. And distant with each other.
The child senses this disconnect right away. Unconsciously, the 3rd born child seeks attachment stability to cope with the emotional disconnect.
Meaning: the 3rd child is “overly-needy” of one parents affection.
Meaning: the 3rd child is “overly-needy” of one parents affection.
The parent feels loved and needed, but this puts more of a strain on the marriage.
The other parent is emotionally triggered by the child’s desire of closeness. They feel rejected or abandoned by that child.
The other parent is emotionally triggered by the child’s desire of closeness. They feel rejected or abandoned by that child.
They then direct their affection to the first born child or “the golden child” of the home.
Each child experiences the parent differently and each child brings out different aspects of the parent.
Each child experiences the parent differently and each child brings out different aspects of the parent.
For example:
- one sibling is stubborn or head strong & this triggers the parent who grew up with a stubborn father they had a conflicted relationship with
- one sibling is highly emotional and sensitive and this creates a deep bond between that parent
- one sibling is stubborn or head strong & this triggers the parent who grew up with a stubborn father they had a conflicted relationship with
- one sibling is highly emotional and sensitive and this creates a deep bond between that parent
and their mostly highly sensitive child.
- one sibling is very athletic and the parent connects to that child because they had the same childhood gift
Ultimately, each child meets different parts of each parent.
- one sibling is very athletic and the parent connects to that child because they had the same childhood gift
Ultimately, each child meets different parts of each parent.
At different times and seasons of their lives.
No siblings will view their parents in the same way, because their parents become different people throughout the years.
With different goals, agendas, needs, and desires.
No siblings will view their parents in the same way, because their parents become different people throughout the years.
With different goals, agendas, needs, and desires.
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