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Michael Harriot Profile picture
@michaelharriot
Oct 28, 2022 • 11 tweets • 2 min read • Read on X
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I managed to get a copy of Twitter's new policies. Here are the top ten biggest changes:

A thread.
10. We have streamlined the process to report violations of our safety policy. To notify our staff about any threat of violence, abuse, hateful conduct or offensive language, the user only has to answer one question:

"Did you die, tho? "
9. Black Twitter will now have its own platform, complete with separate staff, offices, pay scales, gifs and even separate water fountains! Please don't worry...

White Twitter will still be stealing content.

It'll be lit, Boo!
8. We're working on much-requested features, including a "dislike" button, a way to untag yourself in a thread & a tab that automatically tweets "not all white people."

We're also partnering with Google to build a bot that finds & deletes your racist tweets from HS
7. No insurrection-planning allowed*

*Unless you REALLY want to. It's not like we're gonna check
6. Verified accounts are now limited to:*

A. celebrities
B. politicians
C. People who are prominent in their field
D. Tesla owners**
E. Women ranked 8 or higher

*Content sponsored by Tesla and the Elon Musk Private Jet Flight Attendant Academy

**Insane Mode subscribers only
5. We are DEFINITELY reading your DMs
4. Because we believe in free speech, Musky Twitter will no longer censor racist tweets. However, tweets referring to racism, white supremacy, or placing the word "white" next to the word "people" will automatically be flagged as hate speech.

No Tesla slander will be allowed
3. Ain't nobody got time for no fact-checking shit!
2. Introducing the Cancel Culture Control Board!

VP of Investigation: Special Agent Lt. Herschel Walker
Health info Dir: Nikki Minaj's cousin's friend
Chief Content Overseer of Negroes (Chief COON): The white man who tells Candace Owens what to think
VP of Inclusion: Lil Boosie
1. Moving forward, Twitter will be pronounced with a "hard R."

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More from @michaelharriot

Michael Harriot Profile picture
Apr 26
This program is based on the "white genocide" conspiracy that Black South Africans are planning to rise up and kill white property owners

It's impossible to explain how infuriating this story is without telling 1 of the greatest stories in all of Black history.

A thread
In 1819, 17-year-old Ben Montgomery was shipped to a forced labor camp in Miss owned by 1 of the richest human traffickers in the state

Joe Davis was a lawyer who essentially owned a slave island. He was called a "planter" even though he didn't plant shit. He just owned slaves
One thing ppl get wrong about history is that they think slaveowners got rich off of slave labor. Some did. But many got land, title & wealth BECAUSE THEY OWNED SLAVES. Thomas Jefferson enslaved 600 people on 10,000 acres. He inherited the ppl and the land. So how'd he get rich?
Read 33 tweets
Michael Harriot Profile picture
Feb 8
Bad Bunny should be proud to join the long list of America-hating, Marxist Super Bowl performers whom conservatives hated.

A thread.
About 1/3 of people who watch the Super Bowl are outside the US. In 2026, the NFL will play 9 games in other countries

But according to conservatives, "wokeness" is the only reason why the NFL would have a Spanish-speaking artist headline the halftime show.

Oh, wait: Image
But the halftime show is an AMERICAN tradition that features AMERICAN performers, not foreigners from places like Puerto Rico

@grok is Puerto Rico part of of America?
Read 27 tweets
Michael Harriot Profile picture
Jan 9
Oh, they understand the question; they're just laughing at how dumb it is.

But since you asked, I actually know the answer.

Now, I don't want to misquote you, so here is the specific question you asked:

A thread. Image
Now, the first thing we have to acknowledge the inherent whiteness of your question.

You don't get to define the idea of freedom. For instance, there is a reason why most countries don't allow everyone to own guns carte blanche; it's stupid.
Had it not been for slavery, 2nd Amendment wouldn't exist in the federal constitution. Only 4 of the original 13 state constitutions contained a "right to bear arms'

So, by your logic, between 1776 & 1791, MOST Americans were not free.
nytimes.com/2018/05/24/opi…
Read 27 tweets
Michael Harriot Profile picture
Jan 6
According to @Grok, Apartheid Elon is literally the biggest spreader of misinformation on Twitter. But I'm willing to give the literal Grammar Nazi a pass on this one because he doesn't know much about HIS OWN history.

A thread.
It began before America existed, when the Favres, a white family (Yes, an ancestor of Brett) moved to the Mississippi Valley to start a family business. They initially worked for France. Then, Spain. They eventually secured a lucrative contract with the US government. Image
Image
Image
Image
The scam was simple. They would move near a indigenous people to trade guns in exchange for allowing white people to live in peace.

Now, EVERY CULTURE fought over territory, including the Choctaw & other natives. So having more guns than a rivals meant more territory.
Read 26 tweets
Michael Harriot Profile picture
Dec 4, 2025
I can answer this one:

A thread.
While different tribal groups, nations and shared identities always existed, “race” was used to describe a KIND of thing

Burgundy region of France produced a different “race” wines than Chianti Italy.

Until white people got obsessed with it racial classifications Image
In 1669 & 1670, the Va colony passed 2 laws

The first allowed the “casual killing of slaves.”

The second created a distinction between a slave and a servant:

The Black ones were slaves

But Black people are obsessed with race Image
Read 22 tweets
Michael Harriot Profile picture
Nov 10, 2025
Someone tagged me on this because I've told it before.

Basically, it WAS Canada Dry, until...

A thread
In the days before WebMD, an enterprising scammer could make a fortune promoting ANYTHING as a health product. If you wanted to stay healthy, you needed to include gin, a few cigarettes and some tonic to your health routine Image
But if a scammer REALLY wanted people to trust a product, they would sell it straight to a pharmacy. Like the dude who couldn't sell his tonic named after Dr. Joseph Lister (who had nothing to do with it). He made a deal pharmacist, & the pharmacist sold it as a health drink
Read 25 tweets

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