Y’all can thank @catsukib00 for this one. He requested angst/comfort and I’m trying to deliver. I'm not very good at angst but I hope you enjoy it.
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#BKDK #angst & comfort | Quirkless!AU

CW: Mentions of past bullying, cursing, angst
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Katsuki and Izuku had been together since College. They’d reconciled in high school and fostered a strong friendship which eventually led to deeper feelings of affection and love. Their relationship was strong, stronger than many would have anticipated, given their history.
After their falling out in elementary school and Katsuki’s bullying in middle school Izuku’s self-esteem and trust in others had taken a major blow.

Katsuki had been his best friend. The one person that he loved (platonically at the time) and trusted more than anyone.
Being bullied by someone that he loved and trusted, someone that he thought would never hurt him, made Izuku question all his relationships ever since.
Did people like him for who he was or were they just being nice to his face? Did his friends like him or were they only tolerating him? Did Katsuki’s friends approve of him or was it an act?
Izuku became paranoid that his and Katsuki’s ‘friends’ would talk bad about him behind his back. He developed anxiety and suffered more than one anxiety attack as a result when people would cancel or change plans with him last minute.
Katsuki reassured him over and over that he was enough, that he was a good person and that their friends would never hurt him like that, but it was hard to fully trust someone after being hurt as deeply as Katsuki had hurt him.
Trauma was the diagnosis. His therapist was helping him work past it, but it was a long road to recovery. Some days were better than others but on his bad days Izuku found himself leaning on Katsuki for support more than normal.
He began to need Katsuki’s reassuring words and compliments to get through the bad days. He almost began to crave them. This led to his dependence on Katsuki’s love…
Katsuki didn't seem to mind in the beginning of their relationship, it was an ego boost in a way, but over time Izuku could tell that his boyfriend was becoming annoyed with it all. He’d make little comments, growled grumbles.
He’d sigh more, or run his hands over his face or through his hair.

Izuku’s insecurities, his dependent behavior, it was like a wave lapping against a rock; each time a little more of Katsuki’s patience was worn away.
They’d been together for five years; two during their college years and three as ‘adults’ in the real world. They lived together in a fairly nice apartment that was affordable, clean and in a safe part of the city.
Katsuki, who’d majored in electrical engineering, worked full time at a tech company as a Team Supervisor. While Izuku, who’d majored in Foreign Languages, worked full time as an interpreter for the Embassy.
Katsuki’s job was pretty straight forward, 9:00a-5:00p, full benefits, 401k, yearly bonuses, the works, while the nature of Izuku’s job was a little more fluid.
There were times when he’d be called in for an important meeting or be asked to travel with his boss to various parts of the country. On the rare occasion he was even asked to travel abroad as well.
Katsuki was a born leader, someone that his team looked up to and followed with enthusiasm. Meanwhile Izuku, with his self-esteem issues, liked to be in the background. His job as an interpreter allowed him to speak the words of others and in a way, live through them vicariously.
Izuku liked his job…he liked the opportunities it gave him; traveling, meeting new people, being a part of something more. But there were days when he hated the fact that he could speak a dozen languages and understand a dozen more.
“His hair is so ugly! And those freckles? Disgusting.” A woman speaking French said boldly as he exited a café with a boxed cake in hand.
He knew that she didn’t know he could understand her, that she’d likely never say something like that to his face, but it didn’t make her words hurt any less.

“I hope whoever that cake is for shoves it in his face!” The woman’s friend cackled in reply, again in French.
Sighing, Izuku just ignored them, walking down the street in the direction of his and Katsuki’s apartment. He cut through china town to get some vegetables and meat to make for dinner, all the while the little shop keepers mumbled other insults;
“He’s so cheap! You can buy an expensive cake but not the beef?”

“Why does he pick that one? I should have priced it higher!”

“He always wears those ugly shoes!”

“Quit smiling at me, you disgust me.”
Every word was said with supposed anonymity, because everyone assumed that he didn’t speak their language, but he understood it all.

Each comment was another blow to his self esteem. Each fake smile was a slap to the face.
“Thank you! Come again!” The sincerity in those words was like acid dripped on a wound. No matter how many times he came to the shops, no matter how many times he smiled and thanked them, the little shop owners always insulted his choices while he shopped.
Bags in hand, Izuku trudged the rest of the distance home, his shoulders slumped under the weight of his sadness. But regardless of his feelings, Izuku was determined to perk up. It was a special night!
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Katsuki had gotten a well earned promotion at work and Izuku was going to cook him his favorite meal for dinner to celebrate.

“You can do this, Deku. For Katsuki.” To repay all that his amazing, loving, supportive boyfriend had done for him!
With his apron on and his sleeves rolled up Izuku worked for hours, flitting through the kitchen preparing Katsuki’s favorite pork cutlet spicy curry. Izuku didn’t make it very often for two reasons;
1.) he didn’t like spicy food because it upset his stomach, and 2.) the spices stung Izuku’s eyes, making them water, and his throat, making him cough, but it was worth it. He knew that Katsuki would really appreciate the surprise and savor every bite…
The other drawback was that it took hours to prepare. The secret was letting the curry simmer for an extended period so that the spices could really meld together and soak into the carrots and potatoes.
Izuku knew that by the time Katsuki got home the whole house would smell like spicy curry.
Hours later, with the rice cooked, the curry simmering and the cutlets prepped for frying - which would only be cooked once Kaachan got home - Izuku headed to the bedroom to shower and change into a fresh set of clothes that didn’t smell like curry.
Izuku was so engrossed in shopping, cooking and getting ready for Katsuki to return home that he hadn’t checked his phone. If he had, the night might have ended up going a lot differently.
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“Congratulations, Bro! You’re moving up the corporate ladder! Soon you’ll be leading your own team and making the BIG BUCKS!” Eijirou laughed, clinking their beer mugs together as they all celebrated after work.
The promotion was a big deal. Katsuki had only been at the company for a couple of years and he was already being promoted into a leadership position. A lot of people gave him shit for his attitude, calling him too brash, too rough around the edges, but his work spoke for itself.
His team was the best in the company and they all credited their joint success to Katsuki as their leader.

He fucking worked hard and it was finally paying off. Katsuki had to admit, he was proud of himself.
A lot of people didn’t think he could do it, be successful in his field, but he’d proved them wrong. Hell, people had guffawed at him for going to college. Then they’d told him that he wasn't smart enough to be an electrical engineer.
If there was one thing Katsuki liked doing it was proving people wrong. So he’d studied hard and worked his ass off. He graduated college at the top of his class, he’d gotten a good job and he was climbing the ladder.
He had everything he wanted; a nice apartment, a great job, an awesome boyfriend…

But despite those achievements, there were days when he felt the weight of it all was on his shoulders. Like Izuku, Katsuki had his bad days.
The days he doubted himself, the days he let people’s comments get to him, the days he felt like giving up.

Everyone felt like that sometimes…some more than others…like Izuku.
Katsuki loved his boyfriend, he really did, but some days he just couldn't handle it. On his hard days, he dreaded going home to Izuku. Not because he didn’t want to see him but because he dreaded hearing about his day. Would Izuku be upset at something someone said that day?
Would he need hours of reassurance that he wasn't ugly, or useless, or unwanted? Or would Izuku be in a happy mood?

Even now, as Katsuki celebrated his promotion with his team, he dreaded going home.
“Hey, why don't we grab some chicken and beers and head to your place, Kats? We should be celebrating with Izuku too!” Denki said with a wide, cheerful smile.
Seeing that smile, feeling that energy from his friend and coworker, Kastuski found himself wishing that Izuku could be that happy again. But ever since middle school, Izuku’s brilliant smiles, laughter and general radiance had seemed to dim a bit each year.
Before, he’d been a roaring fire of happiness and confidence but now he was like a dying fire burning down to the embers.

Admittedly, Katsuki had been a bit distant lately. Usually he'd include Izuku in all his plans;
after work drinks with everyone for example, but today he just wanted to enjoy a few beers with his team without Izuku fretting over whether or not their friends really wanted him there or if they were just tolerating him.
He felt guilty about it. Hell, he felt guilty about all the shit he’d done to Izuku when they were younger. He knew that Izuku’s insecurities were because of him, his betrayal. He was the root of the problem. He was the source, where it all began. But he was redeeming himself.
Hell, he HAD redeemed himself!

He’d apologized, he’d worked to earn Izuku’s forgiveness and friendship. Eventually he’d won Izuku’s trust again and then eventually his love.
Like everything in his life, Katsuki had worked his ass off to have Izuku back in his life…but now…he was tired. He was tired of constantly babying his boyfriend.

Guilt could only push him so far, motivate him so much.
And now Denki wanted to have everyone go over to his apartment with chicken and beers. While it was a good idea, and a way to include Izuku, Katsuki found himself hesitating to answer Denki’s suggestion.
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“Come on, Blasty! I bet Izuku will be so surprised to see us and you know how much he loves fried chicken!” Mina said with a wide smile.

Grumbling, Katsuki gulped down the rest of his drink and let out a gruff sigh. “Yeah, alright.” Fuck it.
An hour later the group of friends, Katsuki, Eijirou, Denki and Mina headed to Katsuki’s apartment with several six packs of beer and bags of fried chicken in hand. Everyone was already a little tipsy but they were fully functional, just a little giddier than usual.
Katsuki had sent Izuku several texts to let him know that he was on his way home and bringing company but he didn't receive any replies. In hindsight he should have called Izuku and actually spoken to him but it was too late for that now.
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The jingling of keys in the door alerted Izuku to Katsuki’s return. Perking up, Izuku smiled and headed out of the kitchen toward the genkan to greet him when boisterous laughter filled his ears.
“Oh my gosh! I can’t believe you just said that, Denki!” Mina laughed only for Eijirou’s booming laughter to sound as well.

“Whaaaaat? It’s true! She’s hot!” Denki said back, his voice carrying easily.
Coming into view of the group, Izuku was surprised to see Kastuki and his friends/coworkers in tow. Katsuki had a little smirk on his face, Denki was blushing and Mina and Ejirou were grinning like fools.
Izuku was happy to see them, really, but as he caught sight of the beer and the takeout bags, he felt his spirits dampen considerably.

“Welcome home, Kaachan…Hello, everyone.” Smiling, Izuku did his best not to reveal how his stomach was twisting and his heart was sinking.
“OH MY GOSH IT SMELLS SO DAMN GOOD IN HERE!” Eijirou looked like he was salivating, the way he was sniffing the air and humming in approval. “Is that spicy curry?!”
Izuku gave him a little smile, clasping his hands in front of him and nodding. “Yes, it’s Katsuki’s favorite.” He didn’t mention that he made it special to celebrate Kastuki’s promotion.
/‘I should have known he’d want to celebrate with his friends.’/ Izuku thought to himself, suddenly feeling like a fool for buying the cake and cooking all this food thinking he and Katsuki would be celebrating together alone.
“Mmmm! That will go perfectly with the chicken and beer! Nice going, Zuku!” Denki beamed, removing his shoes and putting on his slippers.
“Y-Yeah…” Fidgeting a bit, Izuku did his best to keep smiling, feeling awkward in the given situation. But as Katsuki stepped up and gave him a one armed hug and a cheek kiss, he felt a little better. They could just share the food with everyone, it wasn't a big deal…
"I texted you. Did you not see them?”

That good feeling was quickly replaced by dread weighing down on him even more. This was his fault? But…Shaking his head, Izuku swallowed hard. “No, I’ve been cooking for hours.” Katsuki knew that it took a long time to make spicy curry.
“Well maybe next time you should keep your notifications on.” Katsuki said with a shrug, walking past Izuku to place the bags on the dinner table before shrugging off his suit jacket and putting his briefcase down.
Frowning, Izuku watched him closely, his gaze narrowing. Was Katsuki saying that it was his own fault? Grabbing his phone, he opened his texting app and saw that Katsuki had texted him - an hour ago. !
Izuku had started cooking three hours ago. Even if he’d seen the text, it would have been too late!

Then again, he could have asked Katsuki if he had plans to celebrate with the team. They always did that when they completed a big project.
But Katsuki usually told him about those get-togethers so he could join in too. Maybe this one was just spontaneo–

“Didn’t Kats tell you that we were going out for drinks today, Zu?” Denki asked, genuinely curious and confused.
“Tonight was planned…?” Izuku asked, the blood slowly draining from his face as a feeling of dread began to spread through him.
Mina shared a glance with Eijiro and nodded. “Yeah, we talked about it on Tuesday when we found out about the promotion.” Eijiro said with a tentative glance at Katsuki.
It was Friday. They’d known for the past several days that they were going to go out and Katsuki had not only refrained from telling him, he hadn't thought to invite him either.
Granted, it was a work celebration, one that was more or less for the team, but the least Katsuki could have done was tell him about it…
“You didn’t tell, Zuku, Blasty? Why not? You know we don’t mind him coming to our work events!” Mina said with a frown, setting her bags down as well. “Is that why he didn’t come to the last few team dinners?”
Team dinners…? Izuku hadn’t been to one of those in a long time. Katsuki usually had them every other month to keep up the team’s morale and motivation but as far as Izuku had known they’d been too busy with their latest project to have them!
Had Katsuki been going out without telling him? Or worse, was he lying to him…?

Izuku didn’t want to cry in front of everyone but he couldn't stop the tears from stinging his eyes as he turned to look at Katsuki, who was refusing to look at him.
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“Is that true, Kaachan…?” Izuku asked, his gaze locked onto his boyfriend.

Denki looked between the two of them, clearly sensing the vibe but wanting to help, he spoke up when Katsuki didn’t.
“Uh, yeah, well, I mean the last one was a little last minute…” He said with an awkward smile. “It was a couple of weeks ago. It wasn’t even that fun! It was raining and we didn’t have our umbrellas and we-”
“-All caught colds from walking home in the rain.” Izuku said with a little nod, remembering how upset Katsuki had been that he hadn't had his umbrella in his bag.
What Katsuki didn’t know was that Izuku had gone to meet him at his work that night, wanting to make sure he didn’t get caught in the rain without it, but by then Katsuki had already left the building…
“You told me that you stopped into a ramen shop when it started raining…” Izuku’s tone was tight as he spoke, putting two and two together.

“I did.” Katsuki said with an exasperated sigh.

“But you weren’t alone.” Izuku finished for him.
“Does that really matter?” Katsuki growled.

“It does when it means you’ve been lying to me for MONTHS, Kaachan.” Although he willed his tears not to fall, they did anyway, slipping down his cheeks.
“B-But it was just that one time!” Denki waved his hands in front of himself, trying to defuse the situation.

“No it wasn’t, right Kaachan? Because you’ve been working late a lot…missing dinners…keeping secrets.”
“Going out with my friends without you isn't a big deal, Deku!” Katsuki shouted, turning to look at him with irritation.
“It is to me! You know how insecure I can be!” Izuku's lip quivered as he tried not to cry. His throat was tightening and he wanted to sob but he held back the impulse.
"OF COURSE I FUCKING KNOW!" The shout made everyone jump in surprise.
Denki, Mina and Ejirou all shared a look of concern. They clearly didn't want to be in the middle of a fight but at the same time it didn't feel right leaving Izuku to deal with Katsuki's legendary temper either.
"Everyday I come home and I have to hear about all your insecurities! All your worries! All the shit that you make up in your mind to agonize over!
And then I have to hold your hand and spend hours reassuring you over and over that it's all in your head and it's fucking exhausting, Deku!"

Izuku’s emerald eyes were wide with shock and tears. "You…I…I'm sorry. I didn't think that I was bothering you with my-."
"-With all your complaints? All your made up issues?! YES! It bothers me, Deku! I work hard, I'm fucking tired at the end of the day! The last thing I want to do is come home and baby you all the damn time!"
No one knew if it was the alcohol or if this was just the straw that broke the camel's back but it was clear that Katsuki had a lot to get off of his chest.
"I'm tired of it! I'm tired of saying the same shit over and over, I'm tired of building you up just to watch you break yourself down again."

"I don't tear myself down…" The strained, anguished whisper that left Izuku's lips was enough to break anyone's heart.
"You do, Deku. Every damn day. And you know what, that's why people have issues with you. That's why they keep you at a distance because all you do is speculate what's going on in their heads.
All you do is fucking worry about what they're saying when they don't even give a fuck about any of the shit you're worrying about!" The look in Katsuki's eyes was unlike anything Izuku had seen before.
No, that wasn't accurate, he'd seen it before - in his nightmares. This was like a nightmare come to life.
"Why…why would you say that? You know how much I worry about that! That's just cruel, Kaachan!" Izuku sobbed only to feel his world come crashing down around him with Katsuki's next words.
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"You've always been a fucking oversensitive crybaby, Deku. Elementary, middle, high school, college and now. THAT'S why people don't like you! That's why they'd pick on you and single you out because all you can think about is yourself when no one even cares what you think!"
The moment he said those words Katsuki wished he could take them back. The look of devastation in Izuku's eyes was enough to rip his heart out. His tears, the quiver of his chin as he tried to desperately hold back his sobs…it all made his heart shatter.
And it was because of him. His words. He knew that his words above everyone else's mattered the most. His words cut the deepest because it was his words that had shattered Izuku's heart and ripped apart his spirit in the first place.
"That's enough, Katsuki!" Eijiro stepped up to Izuku's defense, blocking him from Katsuki's view momentarily while Mina and Denki stepped up to comfort Izuku.
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"That wasn't manly, bro. I can't believe you'd say such nasty things to someone you love." Eijiro growled, a look of disappointment and disgust in his eyes.
He'd never seen Eijiro mad before. He'd never seen such a disgusted look in his eyes. Mina and Denki too looked appalled with what he'd said and for good reason.
Katsuki knew he was out of line and he knew he needed to fix this now before his words took root and festered deep within Izuku's heart like they had back in middle school.
He just needed to hold Izuku and apologize! He just needed to reassure him that everything was okay, that they'd be okay…Izuku would forgive him.

"I knew it…" Those three words, that strained and anguished whisper made Katsuki's heart fall into his gut and dread overtake him.
"This whole time, you were just tolerating me. You were just putting up with me. Was this…did you do this out of guilt? Was I just someone you pitied?!" Izuku shouted, his tears falling nonstop like an open tap.
"No! De-Izuku! It's not like that! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!" When he moved to step forward he was met with Eijiro's hand against his chest.
"I don't think so, Bro." If looks could kill Katsuki would at least be sent to the ICU because Eijiro looked ready to beat his ass. And rightfully so.
"No, it's true. You've always felt guilty about the way you bullied me. I just didn't think you'd go this far to atone for it." Izuku sobbed, covering his face with his hands.
Even with Eijiro blocking a good portion of his view he could see the way Izuku began to curl in on himself. "You made me believe you loved me!"

No, no, no, NO! This was not happening! They were not breaking up over this! No!
"I DO LOVE YOU!" How could Deku believe that he didn't love him?! Yes, he still felt guilty and yes sometimes he just wanted a break from his boyfriend but who didn't?! It didn't mean that he didn't love him!
Shoving past Eijiro, Katsuki was determined to get to Izuku but Eijiro grabbed his arm before he could even take two steps towards his sobbing boyfriend.
“Let go of me, Shitty Hair.” Katsuki’s growled words were punctuated by each pull of his arm but Eijiro was determined to prevent him from getting to Deku.

“Not. Happening.”
But while Katsuki tried to rip himself out of Eijiro’s hold, he missed the way Izuku seemed to gather himself up. Before he knew what was happening, his suit jacket and briefcase were being shoved into his arms.

“Get out.”
Eyes wide, Katsuki looked down into Izuku’s eyes in shock. “What…?” This couldn't be happening.

“I said get out. This is my apartment and I don't want you here.” Izuku’s tone, which just moments before had been full of raw emotion, was monotone and neutral.
It sent a shiver down Katsuki’s spine.

/Izuku had never sounded so cold before/.

“B-But this is /our/ apartment.” It was a flimsy excuse at best - he knew that Izuku’s name was the one on the lease, this had been his place before they’d moved in together.
“Not anymore. Get out.”

Before Katsuki could argue anymore, Eijirou was hauling him towards the door.
Shell-shocked by all that was happening - everything seemed to be happening so quickly - he could hardly fight let alone try to make excuses as to why he should be allowed to stay before he was shoved out the door.
Mina tossed his shoes at him, a look of pure hatred in her eyes before the door slammed in his face.

The resounding sound of the lock bolting into place on the other side of the door was like the guillotine dropping on his neck.

/What had he done?/
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[TBC???] Still deciding how to finish this or if I will 😅 I'll let y'all decide!!

Continue...?
If yes...
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Firstly, thank you all so much for reading, I was not expecting this fic to resonate with so many of you and I am truly humbled but the response. 🥺🥺🥺
🚨Also, I am not a licensed professional, nor am I a therapist so please take this fic with a grain of salt. I’m drawing on my own experiences with therapy and self-love that helped me when I was going through insecurity caused by bullying.
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#BKDK #angst & comfort | Quirkless!AU

CW: Mentions of past bullying, cursing, angst
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“IZUKU! PLEASE! Open the door! Baby! Please! Let’s talk about this!”

Katsuki’s voice traveled through the door easily, his words clear and the anguished tone resonating within Izuku’s heart and mind.

“Izuku! I love you! Open the door…”
Izuku just..stood there. He looked shell shocked. Eyes wide, face pale…tears silently streamed down his cheeks but he didn't react to Katuski’s words, at least not in an outward way.

Externally he was calm, internally he was screaming.
His whole world was crumbling down around him.

Izuku had built his world around Katsuki. His love, his encouragement, his mere presence was everything to him. But hearing those horrible words out of his boyfriend's mouth was his worst fear. /And it had come to life/.
Izuku wasn’t naive, he knew he had a problem. He knew that relying on Katsuki like he did, being dependent on him for his happiness wasn’t healthy. In all honesty he was ashamed of his behavior. He was ashamed of himself and what he had become.
But once you become so wrapped up in your own insecurities that you can’t even fathom a way out, it’s hard to break the cycle.

/But Katsuki was breaking it for him/.

For them.
“IZUKU!” Katsuki’s anguished call cut through his thoughts, drawing him back to the moment.

Izuku’s eyes slipped closed and he swallowed hard. Mina and Denki were quick to wrap their arms around him to comfort him.
“I’m so sorry, Zuku.” Izuku breathed in Mina’s subtle perfume, the fragrance soothing in a way. /It reminded him of his mother’s scent/.

“I'm so, so sorry, Izuku. I didn’t mean to agitate the situation.” Denki sounded so guilty, so anguished as he hugged him.
Izuku just squeezed them back and shook his head. It wasn't their fault. None of this was their fault. “You have nothing to apologize for…I’m sorry that you guys had to witness that.” Drawing back a bit, Izuku wiped at his cheeks a bit awkwardly.
All he wanted to do was go to his room, curl up in bed and just cry his eyes out.

“IZUKU! Please!” The knocking on his door startled him, and drew his attention, his gaze locked on the doorknob that jiggled lightly.
“I can’t face him right now.” His strained whisper was clearly heard by everyone despite Katsuki’s banging on the door.

“I’ll take him home with me.” Eijirou offered as he stepped up to give Izuku a friendly and supportive hug. “I’m sorry about all of this Izuku.”
Izuku hugged Eijirou back and shook his head a bit. “It’s not your fault…And thank you, I’ll repay you somehow.” Although he had no idea what Ejirou might want as a ‘thank you’ gift.

“Save me some of that spicy curry and we’ll call it even.” Eijirou said with a friendly smirk.
The curry. Izuku had completely forgotten about the curry. The chicken…the cake. He’d made all of it for Katsuki, to celebrate his promotion and now it would all go to waste.
“You can have all of it. I’ll set it aside for you, you can pick it up tomorrow if you want.” He’d rather give it away than throw it away so why not give it to Eijirou?
“I’ll come by tomorrow and grab it. Thanks, Zu.” The forehead kiss was unexpected but not unwanted. Swallowing hard, Izuku nodded and did his best not to cry even more.
“Okay, thanks again, Eichan.” Izuku watched as Eijirou drew away and said a few words to Mina and Denki who agreed to stay with him while Eijirou dealt with Katsuki. /Thank goodness it was a Friday night/.
If it had been a regular day Izuku would have had to call out of work because he already knew that he was going to be a wreck this weekend.
When the door opened, Eijirou used his considerable height and muscular stature to block Katsuki's view of the apartment, specifically Izuku.
“Let me in, Shitty Hair, I have to talk to him!” Izuku could see Katsuki trying to get past Eijirou, but it was a futile effort.
“Not tonight, Bro. You’re coming home with me.” There was a scuffle as Katsuki tried to muscle past Eijirou to get in but he was no match for the redhead. Denki was quick to close the door and lock it again, blocking Izuku’s view of what was happening out in the hallway.
There was some shouting, some loud sounds but then it was quiet again.

Denki peeked through the peephole and breathed a deep sigh of relief. “They’re gone.”
Izuku felt both relieved and…somehow disappointed at the same time. He knew they needed space apart for a while but that didn’t mean he liked it. /He loved Katsuki/. But right now they needed some space from one another.

They both had a lot to think about.
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Mina and Denki were quick to comfort him and try to distract him from his aching heart. They still had beer and fried chicken, not to mention the spicy curry and the cake.
Denki didn't think they should eat the cake, seeing as how it was supposed to be Katsuki's and Mina and Izuku agreed so they left it alone. Izuku fried up the cutlets and the three of them sat down to their little feast.
While they ate and drank, Mina and Denki asked him gentle questions about how he was doing and what led up to the fight. Izuku explained his and Katsuki's complicated past and how they'd reconciled but that the things Katsuki had said had really warped his views of people.
/Katsuki had been his best friend and he'd betrayed him/. That was something that wasn't easy to get over, especially as a young adult who was learning about the 'real world' and all that came with the realities of being an adult.
"It sounds like after you two started your romantic relationship, you became dependent on Katsuki's reassurances. He was the one who shattered your worldview so it makes sense that his reassuring words would hold the most weight." Mina said with a little frown.
"But his words still hold the most weight too." Denki pointed out. "Which was why what he said was so cruel."

“I should have punched him!” Mina growled, sneering in disgust at Katsuki’s behavior. But while Izuku was upset, he could understand why Katsuki had said those things.
“Please don’t be too hard on him…he hasn’t always had it easy either and while what he said really hurt, he’s not wrong about me. I have always been a cry baby. I have been leaning on him too much. He has his own worries, his own stress to deal with.”
Izuku looked down at his hands, his nails picking at his cuticles.

Izuku knew that he tore himself down. But it was hard to prop yourself up when people around you made snide comments, or lied to you, or avoided you.
It was hard to feel confident in yourself when you couldn’t even gain the acceptance of your friends, let alone strangers.

Denki’s hand grasped Izuku’s lightly in a comforting manner.
“I know that we haven’t known you long, Izuku, but we like you a lot. Mina, Eijirou and I, we all think you’re great. Seriously, how Katsuki scored a guy like you, we’ll never know, but we’re grateful to be your friends.”
Mina and Denki hugged him and reassured him that whatever happened between him and Katsuki that they'd still be his friends and that meant the world to him. The pair ended up staying the night - Denki took the couch and Mina took Katsuki's side of the bed with him.
But while the other two easily fell asleep Izuku was up most of the night thinking about what Katsuki had said. His words made Izuku rethink the last few years of his life.
Had he always been this way? Had he always been so afraid? When had the doubt crept in? When had he become so dependent on Katsuki's words of reassurance and love? /When had that dependency turned toxic?/
Some of his questions had answers and some didn't. But he did know one thing for sure; their relationship wasn't healthy.
It was slowly killing them. Not in the literal way, but in a figurative one. Izuku's insecurities, the pressure he put on Katsuki, the stress and expectations, it was all weighing them down and they were both slowly drowning.
Two sayings came to mind by the time Izuku was ready to fall asleep and he fell asleep with those words in his mind.
1 - “If you don't love yourself, you won't be happy with yourself. If you can't love yourself, you can't love anyone else. You can't give the love you do not have. You can't make anyone love you without loving yourself first.”
2 - "You can't save someone from drowning if they keep swimming to the bottom."

Izuku kept swimming to the bottom of the pool and Katsuki kept diving in to save him…
Izuku didn't love himself, didn't believe in himself and this, his insecurities were poisoning his and Katsuki's relationship slowly but surely.
Katsuki's words had been harsh, harmful and heartbreaking…but Izuku knew that /he/ was the toxic element in this relationship.
Not because his insecurities weren't justified but because he wasn't getting the proper help he needed to heal from his trauma and grow from the experiences.
/He needed to get help…/

With that thought in mind Izuku finally fell asleep, hoping that his realization didn't come too late.
_____
The weight of Katsuki's guilt was immeasurable. The things he'd said to Izuku had been cruel and terrible. He'd promised himself that he'd never hurt Izuku again. He had been horrible to him back in grade school and he hated himself everyday for the way he'd treated Izuku.
Katsuki thought that he'd gotten past that part of his life, that he'd atoned for his misdeeds and moved on. /Grown up/. But he hadn't, not really.
🌟 Tweet Limit🌟
The moment he'd gotten upset enough, called out on his lies and his feelings, pushed past the point of no return, he'd lost it.
He'd tried so hard to be a better person, so be patient and kind, at least with Izuku, but in that moment when Izuku had asked him about his lies, Katsuki just couldn't take it anymore.
He could blame it on the alcohol but he knew it wasn't to blame. They'd been building towards this fight for a long time.
He'd known that sooner or later Izuku would ask him about the team dinners and after work drinks that he wasn't a part of anymore and Katsuki wouldn't want to keep lying but he'd never thought he'd just blow up at Izuku like that.
/Insult him and essentially confirm every one of his fears/.

It was a dick move and he hated himself for it.

The stress and pressure of his job, the expectations that were placed on him while knowing people expected him to fail…it was a lot for him to handle.
Katsuki had never been the sharing type. He didn't spill his guts at the end of the day and vent out his frustration. He didn't tell Izuku how much he wished he could have taken an easier route or a position that wasn't as stressful. But he wished that he had.
He wished that they'd talked more. Really talked. He wished they'd vented about their days and asked each other for advice instead of just replying with 'work was fine ' when asked.

Nothing was ever 'fine'.
Fine was such an awful word. He hated it. No one was ever fine. Nothing was ever fine. Fine was a Band-Aid, a way of brushing someone off when you didn't want to talk about something.
And Katsuki used it all the time. With coworkers, with friends, with his parents…/with Izuku./ And it was awful.

It was one thing to brush everyone else off, but Izuku? That was not okay.

He loved Izuku.
Izuku had forgiven him and given him a second chance at friendship and then a real chance at love.

Before Izuku, Katsuki didn't even think he could fall in love. But Izuku had changed all of that for him.

And how had he repaid him? By telling him how terrible he was.
He was the worst. He didn't deserve Izuku. But that wasn't going to stop him from trying to apologize and win him back.
Eijirou was going over to Izuku’s to pick something up. He’d overheard Shitty Hair talking on the phone and hated that Izuku would take Eijirou’s call but not his. What was Eijirou going to pick up? Had he forgotten something last night?
When he asked, Eijirou frowned at him and told him that he’d ‘find out’. It was a shitty answer but he understood.
Katsuki was tempted to follow Eijirou to the apartment and catch Izuku off guard so they could talk but that was a shitty move and he knew that Izuku needed some time to sort through his feelings before they talked about what had happened.
Katsuki hated that.

He was the type to want to fix a problem right away. But Izuku was the type who needed to cool down and sort through his feelings before fixing a problem. It drove Katsuki crazy, but he understood.
So when Shitty Hair left to go see Izuku, Katsuki stayed put.

He’d practically paced a hole in the floor by the time Shitty Hair got back, he was so damn anxious.
So when the door opened and Eijirou came in with two bags in hand - one being a food bag and the other being /his duffel bag/, Katsuki felt like his world crumbled a little more.
/And then he realized what was in the food bag/.

Izuku’s spicy curry.

The curry he only ever made on special occasions because the spices hurt his eyes and throat when he cooked it and the apartment would smell like curry for at least a week afterward.
If that wasn't enough to make a grown man cry then the little cake would.

🌟💖Congrats, Kaachan! You’re amazing!💖🌟

Written in frosting in perfect lettering…

The sight of it was too much for him and he broke down right then and there, sobbing like a fucking baby.
“Fuck! God dammit!” He screamed, beating his fists on the floor and pressing his forehead against the hard surface as he cried and sobbed, his whole body shaking.
Eijirou knelt beside him and gently patted his back, offering his strength. “It’s alright, Bro, let it out.”
So he did. He let himself just break down. He cried and sobbed and wailed like his heart was shattering into a billion shards of broken glass. He cried like he’d never cried before…and then he cried some more.
He felt like he’d cried one liter of tears…

Sitting back on his heels, eyes red and puffy, snot clogging his sinuses and his face stained with tears, he finally let himself breathe.
“What do I do, Ei? Tell me what to do.” The gravely tone that emanated from his throat was so unlike his usual confidence.

“You wait for him to be ready.”
🌟 Tweet Limit🌟
Waiting was the hardest thing, but Eijirou was right. He needed to wait for Izuku to be ready to talk…

Luckily, he didn’t have to wait long. The next day Izuku called him and asked him to come over. Katsuki couldn’t get there fast enough!
He begged Eijirou to run red lights, drive over the speed limit, /anything/ to get him back to his apartment even just one second sooner!
The moment the elevator doors opened to their floor he sprinted down the hallway and skidded to halt at the door. Ringing the bell, he prayed that this would go well…
Seeing Izuku again was bittersweet. His boyfriend looked just as haggard as he did - baggy and red puffy eyes, disheveled hair, dropping shoulders. /Izuku looked like he hadn’t slept since that night./
Stepping into the apartment, Katsuki could still smell the curry…Breathing in that smell, he held it within him for a moment before releasing it slowly.

/It smelled like home/.
“Please, have a seat, Kaachan…We…have a lot to talk about.”

Following Izuku’s request, Katsuki took a seat on the couch - sitting at the dining table felt too informal for him - and he watched Izuku closely as he took a seat at the other end.
He hated that there was that space between them but he understood.

“Izuku, I-” He couldn’t get more than two words out before Izuku raised his hand to stop him.

“Kaachan, please, don't…just…let me speak please.”
Holding his breath, Katsuki swallowed and nodded.

Fuck, was this it? Was Izuku going to break up with him? Was this the end?!

No! It couldn’t be the end! They could fix this!
Izuku took a deep breath, seemingly steeling himself for what he was about to say, Katsuki felt himself bracing for what was coming while simultaneously praying to the Gods that Izuku didn’t say what he knew he would…
But when he spoke, he said the very last thing Katsuki could have anticipated.

“Kaachan…I’m so, so sorry.”
_____
[TBC] 💖 I know that many of you will have mixed feelings about the cliffhanger, but I promise that Izuku is apologizing for a very good reason (he is not being self-sacrificing here).

The next part will (most likely) be the final part of the story 🥰
Out of curiosity, would you rather that they...
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#BKDK #angst & comfort | Quirkless!AU

CW: Mentions of past bullying, cursing, angst
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It was the very last thing that anyone anticipated him saying. /I'm so sorry./ If anyone else was present to hear those words they would've argued with him.
Mina, Denki, Eijiro, they would have all argued that he shouldn't have been the one to apologize to Katsuki for what had happened. But after days of self reflection and contemplation, Izuku knew that he owed Katsuki a heartfelt apology.
That wasn't to say that Katsuki was blameless for his behavior. The things he'd said had been hurtful and cruel. But knowing how much pressure and stress Katsuki had been under, Izuku understood why Katsuki had reached his breaking point.
Their relationship was strained, almost to the breaking point, and this was a critical moment for them. A make or break situation that if not handled with the utmost of care would ruin everything they had together.

Their friendship, their relationship, their love.
With so much on the line, Izuku had taken their time apart to reflect on everything and come to the conclusion and solution that they both needed. He knew that Katsuki would fight him on this, but truth be told, Izuku wasn't asking…
"I'm so sorry, Kaachan…I should have seen what I was doing to you, /to us/. My insecurities, my constant need for reassurance and love, my dependency on you…that was a heavy burden for you to bear."

"No, Izuku-!"
Holding up his hand to gently stop Katsuki from speaking, the pleading look in Izuku's eyes spoke volumes. /He needed to get this out, uninterrupted or he wouldn't be able to ever say it/.
"Please, Kaachan…I need to say this. I know that there are things you want to say, and I promise you'll be able to say them to me, but please just let me get this out before I lose my courage."
The look of sadness and defeat in Katsuki's eyes made Izuku's heart clench but he knew that the situation they found themselves in couldn't be fixed with a simple 'I'm sorry '.
No, a band-aid wouldn't fix their problems, if anything it would only make them worse and Izuku wouldn't allow them to go through that.
"I have a problem." A shuddered breath left his lips as he said those words. Fingers tangled in his lap, Izuku picked at his cuticles and stared at those digits like they were the most fascinating thing in the room.
"I don't…I don't love myself anymore, Katsuki. Honestly I don't think I ever have." Or at least not for a very long time. Ever since the bullying started Izuku had doubted himself, questioned what was /wrong/ with him…
Even after his and Katsuki's reconciliation he hadn't been able to stop that downward spiral of self doubt.

He was good at hiding it. Izuku knew how to smile and laugh, crack a joke or tell a funny story. He was an expert at deception and he hated it.
A while ago he'd read an anonymous quote online and it'd really resonated with him.

//'The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest. All because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do'//
Izuku knew that he was damaged. He liked to pretend that he wasn't, but it was a lie. And after so much heartache and the realization that he'd hurt Katsuki with his insecurities, he knew it was time to make a change.
"I don't like feeling that way. I don't like feeling like I'm not enough for myself. Because if I can't love who I am, why should I expect anyone to love me for who I am?" Biting his lip, Izuku swallowed hard and let out a slow breath.
"I need to get help. I'm going to go to therapy. I'm going to really get to know myself on an intimate level. I want to find out who I am and what I can do for myself." It sounded selfish on the surface, but wasn't that what everyone wanted? To know who they were?
"...And in order to do that…I need to be alone." Looking up at Katsuki, Izuku knew that Katsuki would protest against it, but it was non-negotiable.
_____
"...I need to be alone."

Katsuki felt like his whole world was crumbling around him. He could feel the blood draining from his face as he listened to Izuku's words.
They vibrated through his mind like the hum of a tuning fork, starting small and only building in resonance as they reverberated off one another.

/He was speechless/.
Was…Izuku breaking up with him? That was what this was, right? They'd had a fight and now Izuku wanted to be alone. He understood that, but at the same time he just couldn't accept it.
There were so many things he wanted to say! So many things he /needed/ to tell him! But while he'd agonized over what to say, contemplated how to apologize, considered how to make it up to Izuku, those words refused to fall from his tongue.
All that came out was, "Are you…breaking up with me…?" The strain in his tone, the slight cracking of that last word made his throat tighten painfully.
🌟 Tweet Limit🌟
Looking up at Izuku, Katsuki dared to hope that this wasn't it. This wasn't the end for them. But it wasn't up to him, was it? Relationships were built on love and trust. It took two people to keep a relationship whole and he'd hurt Izuku immeasurably.
But he wanted to fix it. He wanted to be a better man! He wanted Izuku…

"No, I'm not breaking up with you, but I do think we should take a break from one another, Kaachan."
A rush of air left Katsuki's lungs at that moment. He felt like an over inflated balloon that'd been ready to pop only to have all the air come whooshing out all at once.

"A break…?" What did that mean? It didn't sound good…'break' was the first half of 'break-up' after all.
A rush of air left Katsuki's lungs at that moment. He felt like an over inflated balloon that'd been ready to pop only to have all the air come whooshing out all at once.

"A break…?" What did that mean? It didn't sound good…'Break' was the first half of 'break-up' after all.
"I need time to be with myself. I'm going to go to therapy so that I can work on my insecurities…You have always been my pillar of strength and support, Kaachan, and I cannot thank you enough for that, but I need to stop relying on you.
I need to find my own strength now and I can't do that if we live together, or if we see one another all the time. Your affection and reassurances are like a drug and if I want to kick the habit, I need to remove all temptations."
Somehow hearing those words, being compared to a drug made Katsuki feel…dirty and yet... He felt like an enabler, a supplier. But that's what he had been, right? /Izuku's drug of choice/.
Katsuki was ashamed to admit it, but he kind of liked being that for Izuku. He liked being wanted, /needed/, but he knew that that mindset wasn't healthy on any level. No, Izuku was right, he needed to 'detox' and that meant taking a break.
"How long?" Damn, why did his voice sound so hoarse? He knew it was the effort to hold back his emotions that were affecting his tone and he hated that. He didn't want to seem weak but he couldn't help it either.
"I don't know, Kaachan." Izuku seemed to fidget uncomfortably saying those words. He hated to admit it but it fucking hurt not knowing how long they'd be separated for.
"...and you want me to move out." A statement, not a question. This was Izuku's place first and foremost which meant that Katsuki would need to leave.

Or maybe not.
"Actually, I will move out. It's my choice to put some distance between us and it's only fair that you be the one to stay here, Kaachan."

Katsuki frowned a bit, wondering where Izuku would go if he couldn't be here. He'd had this place for years.
"But, I mean, where will you go?" Izuku's mother's house was all the way across town. He owned it now, not having the heart to sell it. If he went there his commute to work would be terrible. Was he going to get another apartment?
"Uhm, actually Denki has a spare room he's been looking to rent, so I'm going to take him up on it. I can afford to keep paying my share here, so…" So that Katsuki didn't have to worry about the rent himself.
Katsuki wanted to think that Izuku was offering to keep paying as a way to show that he'd eventually come back when he was ready, but he knew better than to read too much into it.
"You don't have to do that, Izuku. I just got that promotion and raise so I can cover it." He'd had other plans for that money, but now they were being put on the back burner.
"I want to, Kaachan." The feeling of Izuku's hand grasping his made Katsuki's heart ache. All he wanted to do was draw Izuku into his arms and hold him tight. He didn't want to let him go.
He didn't want to take a break! But it was the only choice he had if he wanted to keep his relationship with Izuku.
As if sensing his unspoken desire, Izuku shifted forward and moved into his embrace. A huff of a sob slipped past Katsuki's lips and before he could stop himself tears were slipping down his cheeks.
"I'm so sorry, Izuku. I'm so fucking sorry." Pressing his face against Izuku's neck, Katsuki just let himself cry. "I shouldn't have said those awful things. I shouldn't have lied to you. I shouldn't have treated you like that. You're the best thing that ever happened to me…"
Katsuki's voice cracked and shook, his whispers hoarse with emotions that he never showed anyone but Izuku.

The tightening of those arms around him and the wetness of tears soaking into his shirt told him how upset Izuku was too.
It was a small consolation, knowing that Izuku was upset too. But it was reassuring…

"We both need this time, Kaachan…we both need to learn to love ourselves first before we love one another."

/Love himself/.
Had he ever even considered that before? Did he love himself? It was a question he couldn't honestly answer and that was scary. So fucking scary. Holding Izuku closer, Katsuki suddenly felt more afraid than he ever had in his life.
"I don't want to lose you, Izuku." He left like a child trapped in a nightmare. The feeling of despair that washed over him was unlike anything he'd ever felt before and he didn't know how to navigate it.
Izuku had always been a part of his life, /the most important part/, and now he was leaving.
_____

🌟 Tweet Limit🌟
"You won't lose me, Kaachan. We might not see each other all the time, but we'll find our way back to one another again, I promise."
Drawing back from Katsuki's embrace, he could feel the other's hesitation to let him go. Katsuki didn't get emotional like this often but when he did it was for good reason.
Seeing Katsuki shed tears for him made Izuku's heart ache but it also gave him hope. Because if Katsuki was this upset about the possibility of breaking up, then it meant that he didn't want it. /It meant that he'd fight for them/.
And that's what they needed right now, to fight for one another and for themselves.

The two sat there for a long while, talking about Izuku's plan for them. He wanted both of them to go to therapy.
Katsuki protested at first, but when Izuku made it clear that it was non-negotiable, that their relationship was dependent on them both getting help for their problems, he relented.
Izuku added Katsuki's name to the lease so that he would be reassured and guaranteed a place to live - meaning Izuku couldn't just kick him out at any time without notice - and they came up with a timeline.
For the next three months they wouldn't have contact outside of texting (done in a group chat with their friends), which would be scarce. Izuku was determined to stop being reliant on Katsuki's reassurances and he meant it.
But he didn't want to cut Katsuki out of his life completely, so for the next 90 days Izuku would be 'detoxing' so to speak, which meant that his texts would be done in the group chat to ensure that he wasn't trying to rely on Katsuki for support in his daily life.
Denki, Mina and Eijiro, along with several others (Shoto, Iida and Ochako) had agreed to be a part of the group chat. They were all aware of the situation and wanted to help him and Katsuki not only better themselves, but their relationship as well.
So they'd act like the moderators of the chat, supervising the content and making sure that Izuku wasn't slipping back into his old habits of leaning on Katsuki for support while ensuring that Katsuki didn't do anything to pressure a quicker reconciliation.
/This would only work if Izuku and Katsuki got back together when they were both ready and not a moment before/.

That was to say they weren't broken up, not in the way that would end their relationship, but they weren't going to be interacting like a normal couple either.
If, after 90 days, Izuku and Katsuki proved that they could act like rational adults and not relapse into old behaviors, then they would be allowed to text/call one another directly.
It seemed silly, to have supervision over their communication, but truth be told Izuku didn't trust himself when it came to Katsuki. He loved him more than anything and he knew that his dependence on the blond was just too much.
The first month was the hardest. Izuku kept his word and moved in with Denki, but he only packed the necessities. The majority of his things were still at his and Katsuki's apartment.
Izuku knew that if he moved everything out it would lessen Katsuki's hope of them getting back together, so he kept his more precious possessions, like his comic and action figure collections there so Katsuki would be reassured of his return.
When Izuku met with his new therapist, he received some push back regarding his plans to eventually reconcile with Katsuki but Izuku was adamant.

/He wanted to fix himself and his relationship too/.
Because while others might tell him to leave Katsuki and move on, they didn't know Katsuki like Izuku did. They didn't know how sensitive and sweet he was.
Yes, he had a temper and he was crass and grumpy a lot of the time, but a lot of that was a front. Katsuki was a good person, he just didn't always know how to show it. Izuku knew that side of Katsuki well; the man that wiped his tears and cuddled him when he had nightmares.
The man that made him katsudon on his birthday and watched his favorite All Might movies a hundred times over. The man that held his hand when his mother was sick and the man that encouraged him to graduate college and pursue his career despite the depression following her death.
Katsuki was his best friend, his lover, his soulmate. Izuku loved him more than anyone or anything which was why he was so adamant about getting the help they both needed. So they could have a healthy and lasting relationship.
So no, he didn't take his therapist's advice and cut Katsuki out of his life and 'move on'. But he did his best to curb his dependence on him.
Whenever Izuku got the urge to text Katsuki for any reason, i.e., talk/vent about his day, ask him about some upcoming events, or just to pick his brain about something random, Izuku would stop and analyze what he wanted to say and why he needed to tell Katsuki specifically.
He wrote in journals, pouring his thoughts onto the paper, creating essays of thought and emotion.
When he had a bad day, Izuku's therapist encouraged him to write letters to Katsuki and then destroy them - shredding or tearing - to let those emotions go and to find some type of closure for himself.
🌟 Tweet Limit 🌟
She taught him how to analyze his emotions and to face his fears. Izuku wrote letters to himself and scribbled reaffirming phrases on post-its to litter them around his room and personal space.
He talked for hours and hours about his feelings, his fears, his dreams and everything else in between. As time passed, Izuku really got to know himself. He came to understand the person that he was beneath his trauma and insecurities.
He learned about the things he liked and disliked, the things he was interested in and the things that scared him.

As time went on he learned to face his fears and his bullies.
During one of his shopping trips in Chinatown he waited for the shopkeepers to start insulting him (like they always did) before he replied back in perfect Mandarin, telling them all that their rude behavior was unacceptable to a loyal,
paying customer and that they could kiss his cash goodbye from now on. The looks on their faces had been priceless. Denki had been there to witness the whole interaction and still cackled with glee whenever he thought about it.
Mina and Denki took him out for some 'shopping therapy' and gave him a makeover. He had a new wardrobe and a whole new look as well, which gave him more confidence in himself.
His new attitude was noticed by his colleagues which eventually led to him getting a promotion that included more travel and a pay raise that was well earned and much appreciated.
Izuku was flown to Paris and Rome, there were plans to go to D.C. and Ontario, with many more optional trips on the docket. He was seeing the world and broadening his horizons and it felt like a whole new world for him…but there was one thing missing.

/Katsuki/.
Izuku missed him dearly. They'd blown past the 90 mark and passed with flying colors, which meant that they could text privately if/when they wanted to. Izuku could sense Katsuki's hesitation because he waited for Izuku to text him first before replying.
Katsuki was respecting his space by waiting for him to initiate contact. It was sweet and appreciated too.

And while Izuku went to therapy, so did Katsuki…but their experiences were very different.
_____
[ TBC ] Thank you for reading 💖🥰💖

Please know that I am not a therapist and therefore everything that is talked about here is just through my own experiences and should be taken with a grain of salt.
Thank you so much for reading. This update was supposed to be the final bit, but it was longer than I anticipated. So there will be a final update with Katsuki's experience and their reconciliation. 🥰🥰🥰
(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ Tips are appreciated but not expected

ko-fi.com/littlest_drago…
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#BKDK #angst & comfort | Quirkless!AU | Happy Ending

CW: Mentions of past bullying, cursing, angst
______
Katsuki wasn't one to bare his heart and soul to people. He wasn't good with words or expressing himself in a way that didn't come off as brash or standoffish.

'Love Language' wasn't a new term to him, he was well aware of the various ways that people could show their love.
But while some could spout poetry from the heart, say all that flowery, sappy shit that made people swoon, Katsuki's love language was far from it.

/His love language was shown through actions/.
Cooking breakfast for Izuku in the morning. Making him bentos for lunch. Telling him to take his umbrella so he didn't get sick. Caring for Izuku when he did get sick cause he left his umbrella on the train.
Watching the same All Might movies over and over because he knew the nerd loved them…Caressing his face while he slept to keep his nightmares away.
No, Katsuki may not be a man of poetic words, but he was a man of action and he was determined to show Izuku that he could be better. That he could face his problems in therapy and heal himself too.

The things he'd said to Izuku that night haunted him.
Every night that he came home to their empty apartment felt like receiving a knife in his gut. There was no, 'Welcome home, Kaachan!', no mumbling about the newest All Might movies or TV series or action figure that the nerd just had to buy.
There was no one to eat dinner with, no one to kiss goodnight or cuddle with.

With Izuku gone, Katsuki's life felt immeasurably empty. It was cold. It was lonely.

Their apartment didn't feel like home anymore, it was just a place to sleep and return to day after day.
His therapist could see his downward spiral. He could see how his emotions were dampening. The fire that once coursed through him had burned down to embers without Izuku's presence.
As time went on, he found ways to vent his emotions. He talked more, not too much, but at least he was trying. But what really seemed to work for him was writing, but more so creating art.
He’d never considered himself an artist, but when his therapist asked him to draw how he felt, Katsuki found something inside him that he’d never felt before; an outlet.
He used markers, colored pencils, and crayons, charcoal, pretty much anything he could get his hands on.

He bought sketchbooks and pads, painting canvas and reams of paper. On particularly bad days he’d splash paint on a surface and just go to town.
He’d scream his frustrations out as he created and destroyed his works, venting all that negativity out until he was crying, first with sadness and then with relief.

/It was magical/.
It was a feeling he’d never experienced before. The relief, the release…it was something he never wanted to lose. And with that release of stress and emotion he became more level headed in his day to day life.
Everyone noticed, especially at work. When something went wrong or someone messed up he didn't snap like he usually would, he didn't shout or yell or do any of those the unprofessional things he did before.
At first people worried, but then, as time went on Katsuki began to correct those mistakes in a constructive way. Instead of shouting or getting upset he showed the person how to fix the problem so it wouldn't happen again.
He became more collaborative and delegated more work to the team, sharing the load and putting his trust in them to do the work that he usually kept close to his chest.
His team had once compared him to a dragon guarding its hoard when it came to the projects they oversaw. But now, Katsuki was becoming more of a team player, a leader…
Mina and Denki were more receptive to the changes while Eijiro seemed very skeptical. Katsuki didn't blame the guy, especially after they'd witnessed him at the lowest point in his relationship, but when Katsuki didn't revert back to his old ways, Ei loosened up too.
The group chat was a blessing and Katsuki was thankful for it. Izuku posted pictures of his shopping trips with Mina and his spa days with Denki. He posted pictures of his trips abroad and he brought back souvenirs for everyone from all the exotic places he was going.
While Katsuki wasn't directly involved in Izuku's life, having those glimpses of him, seeing how happy and confident he was becoming, gave him hope for their future together.
Mina offered to take him shopping too, an activity he resisted, but seeing the positive changes in Izuku encouraged him and eventually he accepted her offer, much to Mina's delight.
True to his word Katsuki went to all his therapy sessions and he did his best to work on his issues - in and outside of the doctor's office.
With his newfound love of creating art, his therapist encouraged him to create works for the people in his life as a way to show his feelings and appreciation for them.
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It was difficult at first. Creating works at random for himself was one thing but trying to create art for others was completely different.

But while it was hard to start, It was therapeutic too.
He filled his sketchbooks with art for everyone in his life, pieces that would never (hopefully) be seen by anyone. Piece after piece, some for himself, others for his parents and friends, but most of all for Izuku.
There were dozens of sketches of Izuku; some from memory and some from references.

Drawing his lover made him miss him all the more, but it made him appreciate Izuku too.
All the things that Izuku was insecure about, all the supposed flaws he saw in himself were so beautiful to Katsuki. He wanted to show Izuku (and only Izuku) all that he loved about him and hopefully one day he would.
Overall, therapy helped him realize just how stressed he was. It helped him realize how much pressure he put on himself, pressure that only existed in his mind. And finding his outlet for stress was a game changer.
It was a bumpy road, to say the least and while he had his good days he also had his bad days, but that was life and he needed to accept that there were some things that he just couldn't change.
When he and Izuku passed their 90 day trial run and were allowed to privately chat again, Katsuki told Izuku about his new passion for art. He wasn't surprised when Izuku asked to see some of his work, but only if he was comfortable with sharing.
At first, Katsuki couldn't bring himself to do it. Like most artists, he was his own worst critic and he wasn’t confident in his skills or what he had created.
Granted, a lot of it was just things he threw together - literally - in the moment to free his emotions, but some of it, like his sketches of Izuku, were from the heart.
After a couple of months Katsuki finally worked up the courage and took a picture of one of his favorite sketches of Izuku. He sent it in their private chat and then promptly put his phone down, too scared to see what Izuku had to say about it.

/Ding~! D-Ding~! Ding! D-D-Ding!/
Text after text sounded on his phone, alerting him to Izuku’s replies. His stomach twisted and churned with anxiety but when the chimes didn’t stop he picked up his phone to look at what Izuku had said.
In true Izuku fashion their text chain was filled with cute emoticons and excited comments from his boyfriend. The laugh and smile he had on his face was more genuine than any expression he’d had in a long time.
/Relief./ Pure relief and joy. Izuku loved the picture, and he was proud of him. Proud that he’d had the courage to share his work with him when he knew that it was hard to do and proud because they were both healing and growing into themselves after years of neglect.
As time went on things continued that way; they each went to therapy and they each learned more about themselves than they thought possible. Izuku gained confidence in himself and Katsuki gained confidence in his emotions.
When they started to approach the one year anniversary of their break, Katsuki began to wonder if getting back together was the right decision for them.

What if they slipped back into old habits? What if they didn’t feel that spark of love for one another again? Or worse?
/What if he hurt Izuku again?/

It was the last thing he wanted…but when he expressed his fears to his therapist, he was asked another question.
//”Do you really want to live your life in fear of what could or couldn’t happen?”//

Truth be told, Katsuki went home with a weight on his chest that night. He knew that worrying about things that may or may not happen was no way to live his life.
He’d never lived that way before, but then again he’d grown a lot the past year and he wasn’t the same man he was eleven months ago.

But it plagued him.

/Did Izuku want to get back together?/
_____

One year.

It was a long time and yet it felt like nothing in a way. Izuku had missed Katsuki greatly the last 12 months.
He missed waking up to Katsuki’s kisses, having morning coffee together. He missed eating the homemade bentos Katsuki made with loving care and he missed curling up on the couch to watch their favorite movies. Most of all he missed the closeness, the intimacy, /the relationship/.
Yes, they’d had their problems and he want’s naive enough to think that therapy would solve all their issues, but Izuku was optimistic.

So when the time was right, Izuku decided to go for it. /To lay his heart on the line/.
Mina and Ochako helped him pick out a nice outfit and a special gift for Katsuki while Denki helped him cook something extra special. While Izuku wanted to surprise Katsuki at their apartment, he didn’t want to invade Katsuki’s space after having been absent for so long.
So he packed a picnic instead and picked a romantic, yet private place where they could meet.

Sending Katsuki a text with his location he asked that if he was available, to come meet him.
Butterflies fluttered in his chest and his stomach churned with nerves. It felt like a first date, a love confession. Like he was a character in one of those romance comics that left a note for his crush to meet him on the roof of the school for a love confession.
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It was silly, he and Katsuki had been together for a long time, but their year apart had changed them and part of Izuku was worried that Katsuki wouldn't want him anymore.
At least that fear, that insecurity, didn't overwhelm him. That was something that had changed over the last year - Izuku had learned to think rationally and to analyze why he worried about certain things.
/To work through the problem instead of becoming consumed by it/.

So he waited, with his heart in his hands, for Katsuki to come to him.

The sun had just started to set when he heard a car pull into the parking lot, the brakes squealing as it pulled into a spot and stopped.
Turning, Izuku was surprised to see a car he didn’t recognize. But inside was that familiar blond hair and red eyes that moved in a blur as Katsuki scrambled out of the car.
“I’m so sorry, Izuku! I was on my way and then I got a flat and I didn’t have a spare so I had to call shitty hair and he was busy and-!”
Katsuki was speaking so quickly that Izuku was having a hard time catching what he was saying, but he understood the frantic, worried energy that he was giving off.
“Kaachan!” Running up, Izuku couldn’t hold back. He’d planned on taking things slowly and easing into the conversation but seeing Katsuki like this and finally being with him again was just too overwhelming.
Arms opened wide, Izuku practically tackled Katsuki in a hug once he was in range. Wrapping his arms around the blond he squeezed hard and held on tightly. “You came…I'm so happy that you came…” He whispered, getting a little choked up.
The feeling of Katsuki's arms wrapping around him to hold him tightly sent a wave of emotion through Izuku.

Happiness.

Longing.

/Love/.

He'd missed this, being in Katsuki's arms.
"I missed you…" Ever the crybaby, Izuku's eyes filled with tears and his throat tightened painfully. He hoped Katsuki wouldn't be upset, since his collar would be soaked with tears by the time their hug ended.
What Izuku didn't anticipate was the hoarse whisper against his ear. Katsuki's voice was strained with emotion, a tone that Izuku couldn't ever recall hearing from his boyfriend. "I missed you too, Izuku."
They held each other like they feared one of them would float away at any moment. The silence between them was comfortable and stretched on as the sun dipped down below the horizon line.
Time just slipped away from them but neither seemed to mind.

They reluctantly let go, gazing upon one another. It somehow felt bittersweet, maybe a little awkward, but they were happy too.
Izuku was the first to break the silence, smiling wide as he threaded his fingers with Katsuki’s and led him to the picnic blanket. “I made us something to eat.” Bentos with all of Katsuki’s favorites.
Izuku was the first to break the silence, smiling wide as he threaded his fingers with Katsuki’s and led him to the picnic blanket. “I made us something to eat.” Bentos with all of Katsuki’s favorites.
“Thank you, Izuku.” He’d expected a sarcastic comment about his cooking, but much to his surprise Katsuki gave him a look of admiration.

The two ate their bentos, each of them a bit nervous about being together again after so long.
They’d gotten so used to communicating via text message or the occasional call that being physically present again was a little startling. Regardless, Izuku was happy.
“Kaachan…I asked you here today because I wanted to ask you something.” He could see the slight panic in Katsuki’s gaze. The way he audibly swallowed was so uncharacteristic, but then again they’d both changed a lot this past year.
Katsuki seemed more vulnerable, but not in a bad way, while Izuku was far more confident than he had been.
When Katsuki didn’t ask ‘what’, Izuku took his silence as permission to continue. Reaching out, Izuku offered Katsuki his hand, palm up. “Kaachan, will you be my boyfriend again?”
The rush of air that slipped past Katsuki’s lips in relief was palpable.

“Oh, thank Kami!” The smile that split Katsuki’s lips was such a relief.

“Is that a yes…?”

“Yes! I want to be your boyfriend again!”
Now it was Izuku’s turn to feel that wave of relief. Getting teary-eyed all over again, he smiled and squeezed Katsuki’s hand.

“Does this mean I can kiss you now?”
Izuku wasn’t expecting Katsuki to ask for permission but considering they’d been separated for so long, it was nice to know that they were taking each other's feelings into consideration.
The moment their lips touched, a spark of joy and relief shot through him, his heart swelling with love and affection.

/This was where he belonged, by Katsuki's side/.

The two spent the next few hours under the stars, kissing, talking and getting reacquainted.
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The special gift that Izuku had prepared for Katsuki was a grand gesture, a fresh start, /a new place for a new beginning/.

“An apartment…?” Katsuki looked floored and completely caught off guard.
“Mhm, I figured that a new place would be best for a new start. I mean, uhm, if that’s what you want…?” Izuku suddenly felt foolish. Had he jumped too far ahead? Would Katsuki feel like he was pressuring him into something?
“I like that. A second chance, a clean slate.” Katsuki looked surprised, but excited by the idea.
So once they were ready, which honestly didn’t take long since they both felt like they’d been separated long enough, the two packed their things and moved into their new apartment together.
Because they’d both gotten relatively good promotions recently, they could afford a bigger place, a three bedroom to be exact. A two bedroom would have been fine, more than enough space actually, but Izuku wanted to make sure that Katsuki had space to do his art.
So one bedroom was just that, their bedroom, while the second was a guest room/office/memorabilia room, and the third was dedicated solely to Katsuki’s art. /His studio/.
They also made time for one another. So every other Friday was ‘date night’, a time when they’d go out to a new restaurant or go see a new movie, or do a random activity as a couple. No one else was allowed to attend, since it was time for /them/.
Their therapists also encouraged them to have their own time, for Izuku to write, or do his hobbies and time for Katsuki to do his art. Of course if they ever needed their space, they took it, because there were days when they just needed to be alone and that was okay.
Continued therapy was also a must and communication was key. If Izuku was upset about something, he told Katsuki, and vice versa. There was no more bottling things up until they exploded, no more secrets, no more second guessing.
After three months of living together again, Katsuki welcomed Izuku home with a bouquet of flowers - sunflowers, his favorite - and katsudon. It wasn’t an anniversary and it wasn’t a date night, it was a night just like any other and yet it was so very, very special.
“Kaachan, what’s all this…? Not that I’m complaining! I just, wow…” He was a little overwhelmed, but in a good way.

“I just wanted to show you how much I love you.” The look of love in Katsuki’s eyes was so deep, so sincere, so pure that it made Izuku cry.
As he wiped his eyes, he felt Katsuki’s arms wrap around him to draw him close. “I also wanted to give you something…”
Drawing back a bit, Katsuki pulled out a small box from his pocket and offered it to Izuku. For a split second Izuku thought it might be a ring, but then, it wasn't the right type of box.

Ring boxes were square, this was more rectangular.
Even still, his hands were a bit shaky as he lifted the lit.

Inside was a red leather bracelet with a rectangular silver plate inlaid into it. The plate, at first glance, was plain aside from some ridges along the edge, but somehow it looked familiar to him.
“It’s so unique, Kaachan. Did you make it?” Katsuki had started dabbling with different mediums and sketching jewelry designs but he hadn’t shown him any of them yet.
“I designed it, but I had it specially made.” Katsuki didn’t hesitate to put the bracelet on him with Izuku offered his wrist.
“That’s amazing, Kaachan! The design is so familiar but I can’t place it.” Looking at it closely, he smiled a bit.
“The ridges are a symbol of our second chance.”

Izuku gave him a curious look, confused. Second chance...?

Reaching into his pocket, Katsuki pulled out his house key and held it up. /The ridges on the plate matched the ridges on the key/.
“Our second chance…” His heart flipped in his chest. Such beautiful symbolism.

“When you look at it, you’ll be reminded of our new beginning, and so will I…” With that, Katsuki withdrew the necklace hidden under his shirt. At the end of the chain was an identical plate.
“I love it.” Stepping into Katsuki’s embrace Izuku pressed his lips to his and held the kiss for a long, tender moment. “I love you, Kaachan…”

“I love you, Izuku…so, so much.”
The pair had their ups and down like any couple, but their relationship was stronger than ever. Nothing short of death could break their bond, and nothing never would.

[ Fin~ ]
_____

Thank you all for reading! I hope you enjoyed this fic! 🥰🥰🥰 A big thank you to all my friends who helped me with this! You know who you are! 😘💖🥰💖😍

Just out of curiosity, would you like to see more angst threads from me in the future?💖

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More from @2020Dragonfly

Aug 13, 2022
#BKDK [ Endgame ] | QL!AU | #katsudeku #KatsukiBakugo #IzukuMidoriya
- Piece of Me -

{...} = communication between soulmates (internalized/in their minds)

Thank you to the wonderful @bkdkmess for this amazing prompt! I hope I do it justice
_____
Izuku had a soulmate.

Ever since he'd learned what soulmates were and what they could mean, he'd eagerly awaited his 18th birthday. Years seemed to pass by at a snail's pace.
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Late night NSFW #BKDK idea 😅

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QL!AU where BK & DK meet at University

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_____
Izuku and Katsuki met during their first year of college and hit it off right away. Katsuki's brash and abrasive attitude complimented Izuku's outgoing and kind nature perfectly.

Their friends said that Izuku 'smoothed out' Katsuki's rough edges.
Izuku was an only child, having grown up in a small coastal town while Katsuki had a brother and grew up in a larger city. The two had met by chance at the campus cafe when their orders had gotten mixed up.

"Why the hell does my cup say 'Deku' on it, hah?!" Katsuki growled.
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Big thank you to @keicchaaan for writing this amazing prompt, I hope I do it justice. 💖

CW: Cursing, mentions of past cheating

This fic picks up right where Keicchan left off…
“To the newlyweds!”

Raising his glass of champagne, Izuku drank it down like water, the reception hall around him was dead silent.

Handing off the microphone, Izuku set his empty glass aside and stepped away from the stage.

No one knew what to do.
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There were only a few people who knew the past drama and the situation as a whole.
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This is part 1 of an undetermined amount 😅

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🔞Fic will feature NSFW content at some point
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𝘛𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴.

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