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ALT-immigration Profile picture
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Nov 18 • 10 tweets • 3 min read
If Twitter ends tomorrow or this week, this is my most cherished memory of being in this hellhole.
The Internet Raised $1K to Send Taco Truck, Mariachi Band to Racist NYC Attorney - VICE vice.com/en/article/qvn…
This is my second favorite thing YOU did
My third favorite twitter event, when I assumed I was crazy when trump started talking about the traffickers and the border and I realized he was basically repeating what he saw in a movie, then, maddow confirmed it a few days later
4th favorite twitter moment, Rachel maddow calling me a mean parody twitter account
5th favorite twitter moment, being blocked by the president of the United States on twitter
5th best twitter memory, getting blocked my Scott Baio and his wife within minutes
6th favorite twitter memory:
The #kabob and the #sanspants movement. Just do a search with my handle
7th favorite memory.
I live tweeted baking a MacBook in the oven to fix a logic board. @AltHomelandSec can vouch
Lastly, you, all are special people.
See ya
One last favorite twitter memory, when Wikileaks tweeted they used some sylometry proprietary bullshit to figure out who was the anonymous oped writer, and I figured out they tweeted a low res picture of a characters list from a novel word word for word

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More from @ALT_uscis

ALT-immigration Profile picture
Oct 17
This is Michael Van Holst, an anti-vax city councilman in Canada canvassing.
I love this woman.
I think he did this face on his way to get f****d
I think we infected Canada you guys.
This same councilman also said affordable housing ruins neighborhoods beta.ctvnews.ca/local/london/2…
Read 4 tweets
ALT-immigration Profile picture
Oct 3
the @TheOnion in their amicus brief state:
4.3 trillion readers
350,000 journalists stationed around the world
😂
this is some expert trolling
Read 4 tweets
ALT-immigration Profile picture
Aug 10
I remember when former presidents left after a peaceful transfer of power, didn’t take boxes of classified material, didn’t get raided by the FBI but rather got together, roasted each other and raised money for humanitarian causes.
Watch this, then think : Trump.
It is insane
To be fair, this was trumps participation at the event to raise money for hurricane relief
Even when dubya, the guy who started an endless bloody war, black site waterboarding, the patriot act….was likable in these moments when he made sense and inadvertently predicted trump. Listen.
Read 5 tweets
ALT-immigration Profile picture
Aug 6
Cpac is full on nazi and we are like: yeah that is bad.
All they need is control of both houses and boom: the American taliban.
Add president desantis two years later and boom: taliban light
I imagine a United States with total GOP control. Age of consent lowered to 14. Polygamy legalized in the south and Midwest. The creation of the STU. The states departments of Uteruses, such uteruses must have a unique registration number & must come in for an inspection yearly
Read 4 tweets
ALT-immigration Profile picture
Jul 28
Stop what you are doing and watch:
Jon Stewart's expletive statement after the senate failed to pass the PACT act to provide healthcare for veterans exposed to toxic burn pits during military service
part 2/ Jon Stewart's expletive statement after the senate failed to pass the PACT act to provide healthcare for veterans exposed to toxic burn pits during military service.
This time he had words for @SenToomey
Part 3/Jon Stewart's call the senate " these mothers***g live to 200, they are tortoises "
Read 4 tweets
ALT-immigration Profile picture
Jul 21
"Patriot front" incels training in Utah.
Where do I begin with this. My grandma hits harder.
you can see the rest of the clips on youtube.com/channel/UCr7tn…
2/ is this really the most pressing domestic terrorism threat? it is JV like suicide drills after a keg and a lot of weed.
3/ if you ant to dive into the patriot front data leak. link below.
I spent to hours on it and I can't stop laughing
unicornriot.ninja/a-guide-to-pat…
Read 24 tweets

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