Thread by @hattie_bxl

Today I got diagnosed with #ADHD ! (A thread)

I wouldn't usually announce this kind of thing but a year ago I stumbled upon a post on ADHD here on Twitter which was the catalyst for me getting diagnosed. If I can help just one person get a diagnosis or feel less alone, then writing this thread will have been worth it.

Let me start off by saying that there is a lot in this modern world that is set up to distract us, social media, gaming, smartphones etc. Being distracted by these is not having ADHD. ADHD is lifelong, and manifests in childhood... though these technologies don't help(!)

So what were the indicators of my diagnosis? I would break it down into:

➡️ Executive function (or lack of)
➡️ Focus (or lack of)
➡️ Dopamine (or lack of)

Here we go :

1) Childhood/ schooling were difficult. As a child I outperformed my peers in terms of understanding subjects but I could never seem to execute the tasks (ADHD is after all a problem with executive function). Classwork half finished, sentences half finished, homework never done.

2) I have the H bit of ADHD (called combined ADHD) which isn't as seen in females as it is in males. As a child that meant never being able to sit still, as an adolescent I was disruptive in class.

3) Luckily a teacher picked up on some of my symptoms as I never caught up on notes in class. ADHD wasn't really in the lexicon but I was diagnosed twice with not full dyslexia, not full dyspraxia but *something*. That 25% extra time in exams saved my grades in later life.

4) This lack of executive function has continued into my adult life. And along with it frustration, shame and guilt. Why do others seem to do tasks so effortlessly and for me it seems so hard? Why can't I seem to complete task/project/email/sentence without getting distracted?

5) On that note, I did my master's thesis almost entirely in half sentences which I had to go back and complete the night before. Stressful to say the least.

6) I have two modes. No focus or hyper focus. When I'm not focused I feel like my brain is buzzing and that I'm constantly flicking between 50 random open tabs.

7) When I hyperfocus, to quote a colleague, I go "into tunnel and it's hard to get [me] out". Quite often I hyperfocus on the wrong thing which is probably more frustrating for other people than it is for me.

8) The unfocused version is pretty chaotic. To quote a friend I've got "chaotic energy". My brain is usually on and rushing first thing in the morning with new ideas and random thoughts. Translating that energy into full actions is almost impossible, though.

9) Btw I have countless personal projects that I've half completed. And I pick up and drop hobbies like they're going out of fashion. But I've always got to be getting that dopamine hit!

10) On dopamine. There's significant research to show a link between ADHD and a lack of dopamine. If dopamine levels are depleted, it can leave you feeling chronically unsatisfied, bored and depressed. To say I've struggled with this since my childhood would be an understatement.

11) Without the right levels of dopamine it's impossible to do things without strong motivation (or fear of punishment). I almost always run my work or tasks to the very last deadline. This an exhausting way to live life.

12) ADHD sounds miserable. Are there any benefits??

Well for me I genuinely wouldn't change it. I've spent years masking the behaviour, overworking myself to try and overcome it. But the past year (with the help of family, partner, friends) I've embraced it.

13) People with ADHD are natural creatives. I like that I am an abstract thinker, I can see the bigger picture, I can link concepts and come up with solutions that neurotypical people might not at first see.

14) Having a job that fulfils you and gives you motivation is key. I love my job and because of that, I excel. Due to its nature, I get to think on my feet. But a privilege to do what I do and I know others aren't always that lucky.

15) And on that note, by embracing it I've been honest with myself and others. It's allowed me to find coping mechanisms at home and in work. It helps to have a great team @diplojenny @clairehalperin @jsamr who have been beyond understanding and work around the way I work.

16) I've learnt to be compassionate, compassionate to the others who think, feel, see the world differently. There are more people out there struggling than you realise.

17) So what can you do if you think you have ADHD?

Research, talk to your doctor, find the community. You are absolutely not alone. My DMs are also open, I can talk about my diagnosis journey at least in the Belgian system. ADHD is often hereditary so speak to your family too.

18) And it should go without saying but exercise, diet + sleep routine are absolutely essential parts of managing the unruly symptoms of ADHD and the associated mental health problems. Many believe these are more important than meds so this will be a good start before diagnosis.

19) Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. I am not a medical professional and I wrote this thread in half sentences.

20) For helpful but light content on ADHD I would recommend @WhatTheADHD , @adhdmemetherapy and the ADHD as Females podcast.