The refs wore suits, the Bolivians played in berets, and the Romanian team was selected by the King... and that's the tame stuff.
From premature funerals to managers knocked out with chloroform, here's a short history of the madness...
The tournament was hosted by Uruguay, and the European sides sailed together across the Atlantic aboard a Scottish steamship.
They trained on the top deck, and stopped off in Rio to pick up the Brazilians. Jules Rimet himself travelled with them, with the trophy in his suitcase.
Egypt, the only African representatives, were supposed to join but set off late and missed the boat. The Pharoahs telegraphed in their apologies, leaving the tournament with an awkward 13 teams.
When the football kicked off, Argentina quickly established themselves as the badboys.
Police had to intervene after a violent scrap in their game against Chile, but it was their 6-1 semi final win over the USA where things really got ugly.
A first half horror tackle left one of their opponents with a broken leg, and the game descended into a mass brawl.
An Argentine player knocked four teeth out of an American's mouth, and another ended up in hospital with injuries to his stomach.
In possibly the most slapstick moment in World Cup history, the American manager rushed on to the field to confront the ref, tripped and smashed a bottle of chloroform in his pocket. The fumes knocked him unconscious and he had to be stretchered off.
Here he is being revived...
The final saw hosts Uruguay take on their hated neighbours Argentina, and more than 15,000 Argentine fans headed to Montevideo on board a steamship.
But the ship got lost in heavy fog, and they arrived a day late to the news their team had lost, kicking off riots.
During the trip home, Romanian midfielder Alfred Eisenbeisser Feraru fell ill, and was taken off to hospital when the boat stopped in Genoa.
The team continued their journey, but when they arrived back in Bucharest without him, a rumour spread that he had died.
Even his distraught mother was convinced, and she made funeral arrangements, only for Feraru to walk through the door on the day on the day of the wake.
She fainted on the spot.
Still, it wasn't all bad.
Feraru recovered to compete for Romania in both figure skating and bobsleigh at the next Olympics.
What a time to be alive...
We can't promise chloroform-wielding managers or midfielders rising from the dead, but we cover all the wildest World Cup moments in our free weekly email.
It's a 3 minute rundown of the funniest stories in sport.
Gareth Southgate names his England squad tomorrow, and as your grandmother might say, "they seem like a lovely bunch."
But the current crop aren't complete angels.
From scrapping with police to propositioning pregnant fans, we've rated the squad's wildest moments...
GK: Jordan Pickford
The Everton keeper doesn't take kindly to name callers.
His family changed their name from Pigford to avoid being called 'Piggy', and Jordan has got into at least two pub fights with hecklers who joked about his "T-Rex arms".
Wrong 'un rating: 4/10
RB: Trent Alexander-Arnold
In 2018, a pregnant fan asked Trent to congratulate her partner on his first Father's Day.
But rather than wish the pair good tidings, he responded: "I'll do it inside u while ur pregnant". Here's part of the exchange...
Peter Shilton is best known by England fans for his hapless flap at Maradona’s Hand of God.
But, as the keeper’s long-suffering ex-wife Sue would attest, Shilts was partial to a little cheating of his own...
Back in 1981, the England stopper was snared in some late-night shenanigans with a married woman named Tina.
The pair had shacked up in Pete's car outside a country pub, but a passing policeman was alerted by the bouncing suspension, and shone his torch onto the back seat.