Every year on December 6th, I pause.
Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I breath.
Was 12 years old when I watched this horror unfold on CBC news. I will never forget how terrified I felt. It was the moment when I realized that violence against women was my responsibility to combat, too.
I have identified as a feminist since I was young - and now a feminist who's beliefs are rooted in intersectionality and anti-oppression and a liberation that is connected tonother marginalozed groups. I'm still on a journey and my life events and unlearnings have shaped this.
But the events of December 6 were largely the reason I started to do read about feminism and women's work. Albeit largely second wave feminist work.
If smart, ambitious, white women were going to be killed, I had no chance. I knew this then. Even at 12.
This moment was as impactful for me, a child who felt very safe in Canadian society despite systems of racism and microaggressions. It was a rude awakening.
It still hurts. Even today.
I didn't know those women but I think about them a lot. And their devastated families.
VAW is a horrible part of every society. It thrives along with other systems of oppression:
interpersonal violence/domestic abuse, religious abuse, financial abuse, psychological and emotional control, and violent misogyny are all a part of it.
Fight it. Always.
Resist and help communities by paying attention to #MMIWG campaigns, by dismantling anti-Blackness, and fighting transphobia.
Support women in their struggles and support their work.
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*Storytime*
My daughter (20) has been playing football for 15 years. She joined a team of good friends - 6 v 6 - for the indoor season.
Her entire team is Black and Brown Muslim women. All of them played competitive soccer. Some wear hijab some don't. They are a VERY good team.
They are unlikely any team in the league because of what they look like. At first people glance twice but when they play, their pasing, shooting and synchronicity speak for them.
They are at the top of their tier. They range from 20-27 years of age.
Last night I went to watch them play. I got there just after the whistle but heard the other group of spectators laughing. "This will be easy..." I heard them say. I stayed quiet. Yes, shocking.
I knew.
Today I spoke at a high school about my work and one young woman asked me if there was anything in my career that "blindsided" me.
I was wowed by her question and have been thinking about it all day. I also want to know what others feel.
My answer is white feminism.
I am acutely aware that women are pitted against each other in this industry (media), which can be toxic.
Experiencing intentional non-allyship from more privileged women has been my reality. I have been accused of being "shouty", allegedly being the reason for tears etc.
I grew up learning from mentors that second-wave feminism is a solution and a motivator. Imagine my surprise when I watched white colleagues advance and happily left me in the back. And the sabotage.
I am not in Ontario otherwise I would have like to be at the London Islamic Centre when Kadri bring the Stanley Cup.
As one of the few women Muslim sports journalists in the country is that whole I appreciate the timely attention to his journey but there is more.
It's a story that is rooted in struggle, family love, faith and community support. But there is a wider community that is rarely seen in media.
There are Muslim girls and women who face barriers because of a choice to wear hijab. There are promising athletes who don't get opportunities because o organized sports and the pay-to-play system are classiest and exclusionary.
There are opportunities that our kids don't have.