My verified Twitter account fine print is throwing shade at me, accusing me of only being verified because my dad was in the same twitter frat. I'm still not paying the $8 chapter dues. The frat president sucks. He's gonna get us put on double secret probation. 
The #TwitterBlue fraternity is the crappiest frat on campus. Their parents paid to make sure they didn't have to be vetted. They bribed their way in, and there's no way I'm letting any of them into one of our sweet parties. Also they give off a predator vibe, just sayin.
FTR, I got my blue badge nine years ago for notably writing clickbait headlines for good causes and viraling things. Back when that was possible. Back when going to Clickbait U actually meant something. Back when Facebook kneecapped you for adding flare to your social packages.
I survived two pivots to video and had to learn how to add "substance" and write long-form essays. None of this $8 pay-to-play nonsense. I had to go to internet conferences and beg Facebook staff in order to have my product ideas ignored by social media CEOs like Zuck.
These #twitterblue kids today just have to cough up $100/yr and embrace a cult in order to get product ideas approved. Back in my day, Q was a star trek character, not an unhinged ideology to pander to, edgelord style, in an effort to destabilize my own company's rev streams.
In my day, when an out-of-touch social media CEO wanted to maximize revenue, he did it with class. He ignored every expert around him, made no public statements, watched the world burn, and pivoted to a useless product no one asked for or needed.
These new clueless social CEOs are the worst. Yes, they ignore every expert around them, but then vomit up every horrible idea that any conspiracy nut tosses their way, pour gas on the fire and then fire anyone who was doing something useful. And try to charge $8 for the honor.
Seems weird that the heir to an apartheid mining biz who ran multiple businesses into the ground, has a fake drilling biz, tortures animals "for science," dumped a car in space, and overpaid for a social biz bc they were mean to him is not great at increasing revenue.
Dude with a BS in economics from Wharton thought, "Gutting the infrastructure of twitter, then giving people blue stickers for $8 when ad revenue is where big profits are, then tweeting Q fanfiction and live blogging old staff emails is sure to convey I'm legit to the market."
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