I finished watching #HarryandMeghanonNetflix and I cried so many times throughout. The horrors, betrayal, fear, lies, obsession, racism, desperation and confusion was so much to watch - I hope they stay together, cling to each other & live a happy life away from that toxicity.
I think everyone who has watched it needs to take a step back and understand the sheer violent power of social media, bullying, abuse, pile-ons, lies, rumours, accusations and allegations.
As they said - the impact is real. The impact is life changing, and life threatening.
The role the mainstream media has played, especially the role other women have played in attempting to destroy & bully Meghan - I was so disappointed to hear critical, malicious snippets from the Loose Women panel in the background of the doc in particular. It’s just depressing.
The irony too, that if she had have killed or harmed herself, the mainstream media (the same people harassing and bullying her) would have profited from their coverage of it, and from their faux mourning/outrage/upset.
If anything, that doc has made me so so proud of them both for recognising what was happening and pulling away from the family, the situation, the media, the country even.
That took some serious bravery and risk taking, and I hope it pays off for them long-term.
Extremely difficult to watch overall, but I’m so glad they decided to say their piece and show what really happened to them both, and their kids.
They achieve/win nothing tangible/financial from that doc, or from leaving the family - just mental peace, validation and closure.
Just another horrible example of a smart, ambitious, attractive, successful, talented woman being USED for what people could get from her until she became too successful & too popular, so they had to destroy her.
And that’s without the obvious and appalling racism.
Another thought: it reminded me very much of people who suddenly realise that they were born into abusive and toxic families, and they realise they have to break the pattern and escape. Those people are always vilified in a family.
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One of the biggest myths I find myself breaking down is that support professionals are working *with* the most traumatised people in our population.
I don’t agree.
Support professionals often ARE the most traumatised people in our population.
They deal with abuse, death, violence, oppression, injustice, assaults, and harm on a daily basis. Sometimes, they may be holding 20-40 cases of abuse & violence at any time. Duty social workers can be sent to an infant death & then have to go and support a homeless family.
Police are going to job after job with no breaks. Child abuse, a rape, DV, theft, ASB, assault, DV, sexual assault, stalking, robbery, burglary…
The obsessive hatred of Meghan Markle is sickening to watch. The racism, misogyny, contempt and resentment for her means that people are deliberately overlooking the autonomy of Harry to leave his toxic situation to seek safety from what he knows happened to his own Mum.
So much trauma there, so much he has to process, so much he can’t say. It’s so clear.
He is running from what he perceives to be serious risk, danger, betrayal, and a system that relies on glossing over all of that for the sake of the collective.
Of course, his attempts to protect Meghan and his children have to be twisted back to reframe her as some sort of controlling, abusive mastermind who has isolated him from his doting family.
It’s much easier to smear her, than to explain what he’s scared of.
Did you know about this history of ‘Schizophrenia’?
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Schizophrenia became known as the ‘Black man’s disorder’ by the 1970s. The term ‘aggressive’ was added to the diagnostic criteria of schizophrenia, and antipsychotics were directly marketed to Black people who were described by white doctors to be ‘out of control’ (Smith, 2020).
The legacy of so-called schizophrenia cannot be understated. Black people who protested in civil rights movements and demos were often diagnosed with ‘protest psychosis’ & ‘schizophrenia’ – especially when they were linked to, or in support of, Black Power/Black Panther 1960-90
Lots of you have been messaging and commenting to ask my my views on forgiveness.
My views on this seem to divide people, but I’m no stranger to that so here goes:
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Forgiveness and forgiving your perp or abuser (or someone who has harmed you) is an extremely personal process and has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else.
This is important because the pressure to forgive often comes from outside: our family, our friends, our religion, our communities, our therapists, our wider society…
Tiresome to hear people say ‘men need to be allowed to express their emotions more’ like they ain’t been expressing their rage, anger, pride, disgust, and contempt freely for millennia & inflicting it on the rest of the world to make themselves feel more powerful.
Men have been able to express and control the expression of emotion in society for thousands of years. Men wrote the DSM. Men decided what was a mental disorder and what wasn’t. Men ruled the justice system. Men decided what was acceptable & what wasn’t. Men controlled religions.
It’s ridiculous that we are now reframing men as never being able to express emotion.
What we should be talking about is the misogyny - that men have been suppressing emotions considered to be ‘feminine’ - not the ones considered to be masculine. Men do that to each other too.