Thread by @babybeginner

This is going to be a rough thread. Beware.

As a woman, I’m terrified of rape. It is one of THE most traumatic things that can happen to you. It takes forever to heal from. It can leave you incapacitated. Broken. Destroyed. 1/

I cannot for a second imagine demanding anything of a rape survivor, let alone that they be around men. It’s inconceivable to me. 2/

Every woman I know, and I mean every, feels the same way. If a survivor wanted a space that had only redheads born on a Tuesday I’d try to give it to her. Because I’d center HER and no one else. Whatever SHE needs. 3/

I know how her world has changed. I know how everything is suddenly terrifying. I know how the world has become a different and dark place for her. Her thought she is safe is suddenly gone. 4/

The sound of a drop of water might send her into a panic. A door locking. A smell. A loud noise. No noise. Anything that is associated with the trauma will melt her. Every sense is heightened and intensified. All infused with terror. 5/

If there was some attribute about me that she was afraid of, my hair color, eye color, skin color, height, whatever, I’d leave her space instantly. I wouldn’t dream of demanding she not be afraid of me. Of course she is afraid. It’s not personal. 6/

This isn’t about ME. 7/

That’s the difference here. The men screaming about an all female rape shelter can only think of themselves. They don’t care about her. They have zero understanding or empathy for her. ZERO. They actually DEMAND something of her. It’s unthinkable, but they do. 8/

Of all the times to ask for something from a woman, this is NOT the time. She has had the most precious things to her taken from her: her body; her voice; her autonomy; her “no”. 9/

What she needs most is to be allowed to say no. She needs to be given back her power. She needs whatever on earth it is she needs. She certainly needs to be free of anyone demanding anything else from her. 10/

That is what peaked me and will never stop peaking me: the lack of care for what women need; that utter contempt and disregard for women. And not just women, but women when they need help the most.

If you can’t give those women compassion, you don’t have any. 11/

Every rape survivor has different needs. We need to provide as many shelters as we can. Men need shelters too. Let’s build more.

But not being around men is key for many women survivors. We need at least ONE woman only shelter in every city. 12/

And you KNOW what I mean when I say woman only shelter. Don’t even try to gaslight. 13/

End.

(Unless I think of something else to add.)

This scene gets me every time. The #WallOfWomen scene from #GreysAnatomy.

I stand on that wall. I am in that bed. I push the gurney. I’m every woman.

P.S. To all those claiming it is discrimination for the woman to want a space to heal in without men, it isn’t bigotry she is feeling but TERROR. Overwhelming, soul engulfing TERROR.

So, BACK OFF.