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शैली धर (decodingmyroots.com)

@MonaADhar

Dec 1

My last few months in Kashmir in 1990 part 2

-> While hiding under our bed at night. I was scared all the time, I feared any moment that the mob will attack and shoot us...1

->I was jealous of my brother who was too small to understand anything and playing as if nothing had happened. We couldn’t trust anyone. We feared everyone...2

->We stopped buying milk from our milk vendors, and vegetables from our regular vendor fearing they might pass information to militants that ours is a Pandit family...3

Read 8 tweets

शैली धर (decodingmyroots.com)

@MonaADhar

Dec 1

My last few months in kashmir in 1990 part 1.
Since so many of you want to know more about us, I am sharing my experiences as a kid in Srinagar 88\89\90.

->The only justification for “Why these stories are coming out in open so late” is...1

->Generations which got impacted the most were the the ones in 20s-50s. Grandparents generation was in denial till their last breath, a couple of months back during covid lockdown when I talked to my Nani..2

->She said: “there are militants out in open that is why we are locked in”. My parents generation blocked all the unpleasant experiences in their minds and dedicated the next 2-3 decades rebuilding their lives from scratch to provide a safety net for their kids...3

Read 18 tweets

शैली धर (decodingmyroots.com)

@MonaADhar

Nov 30

Life in Jammu in 90s part 6 (last)
PTSD , depression & much more.
->I suffered from low self-esteem till my late teens. At home, I was talkative and opinionated but to the outside world, I was extremely cautious. I would always walk with my head down looking at ground.

-> It took me years of mental conditioning to free myself and make peace with everything. Our parents were going through PTSD, depression, anxiety, guilt & extreme mood swings - and it did brush off on us too.

->They never sat us down to explain the whole situation. They would discuss it among themselves. We would hear some of it.
Our elders got bitter. They filtered everything and dedicated their lives to building ours, which later caused them a lot of emotional problems.

Read 9 tweets

शैली धर (decodingmyroots.com)

@MonaADhar

Nov 30

#thekashmirfiles - Life in Jammu in 90s part 5
Happier times.
-> Post 96-97, things slowly started getting better. Elders made peace with the situation and started feeling disgusted by Kashmir. Every day someone was shot dead, their bad karma was taking over...1

->Mom will cry a lot if any Army men were killed by these morons, she still feels gloomy if our Army brothers die protecting Kashmir. Few Pandit & Sikh families who stayed back were mass massacred from 1993-2005 ..2

->We felt safe in our new homes, but never missed any news on Kashmir, my dad was still posted in Kashmir. We were always worried about him...3

Read 8 tweets

शैली धर (decodingmyroots.com)

@MonaADhar

Nov 30

2003 Nadimarg massacre , climax scene of #thekashmirfiles.

-> Nadimarg is not very far from my native village Frisal.

->Armed Islamic militants came dressed in counterfeit military uniforms to Nadimarg, near Shopian in the Pulwama district.[5][6] The attack took place between 11 pm and midnight.[7]

->Victims included 11 men, 11 women, and two small boys who were lined up and shot and killed by the gunmen.[8] The victims ranged from a 65-year-old man to a 2-year-old boy.[3]
src-> wiki

Read 7 tweets

शैली धर (decodingmyroots.com)

@MonaADhar

Nov 30

Life in Jammu in 90s part 4
-> Since early 80s KPs had started facing unpleasant experiences in Kashmir, As a backup plan in 84-85 my Mausa Ji bought a chunk of land in an extremely remote part of Jammu (Channi Himmat - now it is one of the best localities)... 1

-> When I went to see that plot for the first time for भूमि पूजन in 93-94, We had to walk 3-4 km from the stop where the minibus dropped us. Weeds all along the route & no proper road. My brother later got severe breathing issues due to one particular weed ....2

->It took me 2 entire days to remove all dry thrones from my socks and skirt. There was not a single home in 5kms radius. It was barren & dry. Only interesting part was a railway tracks & trains running directly visible from that plot...3

Read 12 tweets

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