The Kamila Valieva Ultras are in town. Reeking havok in Krasnoyarsk #FigureSkating Image
Eteri, not happy. She's going to go down to the local dog shelter and put down dogs to cheer herself up. Image
She's happy again. She's traded Kamila Valieva in for a younger skater. The new Eteri Expiration Date is 16. #FigureSkating Image
The Empress had arrived. Figure Skating at 26 is like playing football in your 50s. Image

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More from @derekgoulding

Dec 24
We're at the business end of the Russian National Figure Skating Championships and the girl in 14th place has already done more Quad jumps ever performed than every other non-Russian national championships put together, since the dawn of time.
Her Royal Highness is here. Ready to take home her 8th Championships in a row.

And if she doesn't, she will make a fur coat out of Dalmatian puppies. #FigureSkating #RussianNationals Image
Kamila Valieva is BACK!!!! #RussianNationals #FigureSkating
Read 7 tweets
Jul 25
Ok. Battered.

Couldn't open the apartment door. Had to call the Airbnb host. Door opened. Battle of Jameson promised.

Now watching Evgenia Medvedeva's short and free skate to try and work out how she should have beaten Zagitova in the 2018 Olympics.
Sport never got better than that moment. Image
Medvedeva was shafted by the choreography. It was great, artistic as fuck. But it was possibly too artistic.

Her programmes had a theme that lead into each other. It was the most artistic career ever imagined. Like the way the McBain films in the Simpsons linked together.
Read 11 tweets

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