‘TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that MAGA donations soon would be there;
…
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that MAGA donations soon would be there;
…
The children were locked in their rooms, all snug in their beds,
While visions of robbing charities danced in their heads;
And Melania in her weird getup, and I in my MAGA cap,
Had just settled down for a drug-induced nap,
…
While visions of robbing charities danced in their heads;
And Melania in her weird getup, and I in my MAGA cap,
Had just settled down for a drug-induced nap,
…
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I waddled out the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
…
I waddled out the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
…
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But DOJ vans, and many FBI in the rear,
With a looming shadow, a terrifying myth,
I knew in a moment it must be Jack Smith
…
But DOJ vans, and many FBI in the rear,
With a looming shadow, a terrifying myth,
I knew in a moment it must be Jack Smith
…
More rapid than eagles his forces they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, MERRICK! Now, FANI! Now LETITIA! and ALVIN!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Seize it all!"
…
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, MERRICK! Now, FANI! Now LETITIA! and ALVIN!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Seize it all!"
…
So up to the house they drew,
With an army of cops, and Jack Smith too.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Crashing through the door, Jack Smith came in with a bound.
…
With an army of cops, and Jack Smith too.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Crashing through the door, Jack Smith came in with a bound.
…
He was dressed all in black, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ash and soot;
A bundle of cuffs he had slung across his back,
And he looked just like the Grim Reaper opening his pack.
…
And his clothes were all tarnished with ash and soot;
A bundle of cuffs he had slung across his back,
And he looked just like the Grim Reaper opening his pack.
…
His droll mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard on his chin had a menacing glow;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread;
…
And the beard on his chin had a menacing glow;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread;
…
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the evidence bags; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, he dragged me by my toes,
…
And filled all the evidence bags; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, he dragged me by my toes,
…
He sprang to the door, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, as he dragged me out of sight,
HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, as he dragged me out of sight,
HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!
• • •
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