Thread by @_stiricide_

#wangxian @xmasjoy22 #xmasjoy Day 25: gifts 🔞 ft. modern au, angst with a happy ending and mentions of canon typical homelessness and abuse

~

wwx has never really liked xmas.

He only had a few memories of xmas with his parents. They hadn’t celebrated but he remembered the

atmosphere, happy and light and filled with laughter. He remembered his parents donating time and money and toys and warm winter coats to people in need. He remembered peeking up over the counter at the shelter while they scooped out bowls of food for people with no place to go

just as well as he remembered holding out a bowl for some other scary, grumpy adult to fill so he could fill his tummy when he had no place to go.

But he didn’t remember toys or warm winter coats or happy atmospheres after that. He remembered being cold and lonely with nothing

to do and no one to keep him warm or safe. He remembered people being too intent on getting wherever they were going to even give him a second glance. He remembered people kicking him out of the way as they rushed by, back to their warm, toy and love and food filled homes.

He remembered being ripped off the streets one day, years after his parents had died, years after he should have died, and being plopped into a warm, toy and food filled home, fragments of toxic love floating through the air while Madam Yu screamed at him for eating too much,

for daring to play with toys that weren’t his.

He remembered xmas decorations lighting up their home, extravagant and beautiful, Madam Yu bringing every piece out weeks before xmas began. He remembered thinking he knew, he knew, what to get her as a gift, remembered picking out

the perfect new decoration with his uncle’s help and money. He remembered her loving it and being happy and light and loved, until she realized it was from him, and then he never saw his gift again, she wouldn’t even put it up.

He remembered trying again and again to find

something she would love, some way into her heart, and every time his gifts being tossed aside as though he hadn’t saved his meagre allowance for months trying to get her something great.

He remembered giving up and just not getting her anything and that being so, so much worse.

He didn’t remember much after that. He knew there had been screaming, Madam Yu demanding her husband take the horrible, ungrateful child he had forced into her home away, and his uncle quietly trying to talk her down while jiejie and didi dragged him away to the safety of

jiejie’s room, decked out for xmas just as much as every other room in the house, except for wwx’s. Never wwx’s.

wwx remembered having to learn to accept that his aunt would never like anything from him, even if she demanded he give, like some ancient god who would tear the

world apart if not given a proper offering. He remembered leaving for school, sent off with the few things he owned. Clothes, necessities, things it would have been shameful for Madam Yu deprive him of, even if he couldn’t remember ever receiving a single toy or treat from her,

perhaps she had never giving him anything but the bare minimum. He remembered leaving, Madam Yu assuring his brother that they would see him at xmas and thinking, “I’ll never have xmas here again, maybe never have another xmas again at all,” and then panicking when he realized

Madam Yu might still expect him to send proper offerings to her xmas alter, but also might be pissed off if he dared touch her precious holiday.

And he definitely remembered, as he should since it had only been about a minute since it had happened, when he found out that his

school dorms shut down for xmas and he was supposed to go home.

~

wwx stared blankly down at the notice that had been pinned to his door. Go home!? He didn’t have a home to go back to!!

He flipped it around, searching for something that said, “Contact this person if you have

any questions or concerns,” but no. There was nothing and wwx was speed walking (because his bitchy, if beautiful, neighbour had yelled and him more than once for running in the dorm) down the hall towards the exit and then running through the snow towards the building that dealt

with housing issues (he didn’t know what it was called, okay?). Well, at least the running was keeping him warm in his crappy, not-meant-for-winter coat.

He skidded into the building’s door, already calling out to the person behind the desk, “Hey, hi, I need to talk to someone

about this whole ‘gotta leave the dorm over xmas thing,’” jerking to a stop when his bitchy neighbour looked up at him with the same look he gave wwx whenever he played his music past curfew. Fuck.

“Wei Wuxian,” the other man said coldly. “How can I help you?”

“I- I uhm…”

wwx stammered, slowly approaching the desk. “I got this notice that I have to leave the dorms for xmas? And that’s like… in two days. That’s some really short notice and I hadn’t planned on going anywhere and can’t really make such last minute plans and- well…” he trailed off.

“It is only a reminder,” lwj told him, looking back down at the computer on his desk. “It was mentioned when you applied for housing, in your acceptance email and the packet you received when you first arrived.”

wwx had 100% read those, or at least skimmed them, and it had not

mentioned anything about getting kicked out of the dorms for three weeks, thank you.

Oh god, he was going to be homeless for another xmas. Cold and alone and holding out a sad little bowl at a shelter!

“Wei Wuxian?” lwj asked him, his eyes focusing back on his pretty neighbour.

God, the man didn’t have a right to be this pretty or this bitchy. Fuck. Why did he have to go off to school and realize he was both gay and into mean men within 3 seconds of meeting this awful man!? And they lived right next to each other, it really was too bad the man didn’t

like him back, otherwise he could just sneak over and-

No, wait! Focus Wei Ying! Homelessness! Cold! Hunger! Potential death because it’s really fucking cold out there! Focus!

wwx plastered on his best, most flirtatious smile. It had never worked on lwj before, but maybe today-

lwj narrowed his eyes. “You must leave the dorms in two days, Wei Wuxian. There is nothing I, or anyone else, can do,” he said, mouth twitching as he watched wwx deflate.

Seriously? Why was this mean fucker his type? What was wrong with him!?

“Fine…” he mumbled, twisting

around to push his way back into the snow, shivering when the fierce wind smacked him in the face. He huffed as he began trudging back to his dorm room, trying to not think about how cold and wet it was, nor how likely that whole dying cold and alone on the street thing was.

~

“Mom is pissed.”

“So, what else is new?” wwx asked as he attempted to force more warm clothing into his already overfilled backpack. “Why is she pissed today?”

“Because she looked under the tree and there isn’t a gift from you for her,” he brother huffed.

wwx straightened

up. “Are you fucking kidding me? I know I briefly panicked about this exact thing months ago but I didn’t actually expect her to except me to get her a fucking gift! Where does she think I’ll get the money for one from?”

“I dunno,” jc said, “but I heard her saying that if a gift

from you didn’t show up she’d pull your tuition.”

“Fuck!” wwx yelled, kicking his bed frame. “She’ll pull my tuition if I don’t get good enough grades, she’ll pull it if I do anything embarrassing, she’ll pull it if I don’t send her a fucking xmas present.”

“She’d also probably

pull it if you dared come home for xmas,” his little brother unhelpfully added, asking, “The fuck was that?” when wwx kicked the bed again.

“It was-“ Three sharp knocks cut wwx off. “Fuckity fuckity fucking hell,” he groaned.

“Now what?” asked his brother.

“Tell your mom I

didn’t send a gift because my dorm neighbour murdered me,” he told jc as he pulled his door open. “Lan Wangji!” he greeted his bitchy neighbour. “What’s up? How the weather? How’s the family?”

“Wait!” jc hissed as wwx was moving to press the end call button. “Lan Wangji is-“

wwx looked back up from his phone to find lwj staring at him, somehow even more intensely than he usually did.

"Uhm... seriously, what can I help you with?" he asked, shifting his weight from side to side. Something always made him want to poke and prod the mean man, see how far

he could go aggravating and annoying the stoic man before he broke, see what he would do. Unfortunately, he really didn't have time for that today. Too bad, it would have cheered him up.

lwj stared at him for another long moment, and wwx was just beginning to wonder if he would

need to ask again, when he asked, "What was that sound?"

"Oh, uhm..." wwx glanced behind him. He couldn't exactly tell his neighbour that he had kicked the bed... twice. "I was trying to pack and being a klutz," he lied, bright smile stretched across his face.

lwj blinked at

him like he totally, 100% knew he was lying, humming that weird "Mn" of his that he seemed to have a thousand different intonations of. "wwx has found a way to make travel plans?" he asked, wwx squinting at him because lwj didn't ask him questions, not unless it was "Do you know

what rule 7072 is?"

"More or less," wwx lied, turning back to his packing. "Last minute plans, last minute packing," he said as he stuffed a few more things into his bag. "If that's all, I've gotta finish packing, only got about 30 minutes left before someone from housing is

liable to come around and make sure I'm out of here." Someone named lwj, most likely.

lwj hummed at him, something like an acknowledgement that he understood and wwx tensed, waiting for the door to close quietly behind the other man, glancing over his shoulder when no sound

came.

"What?" he asked his neighbour. Seriously, couldn't the guy read the room and fuck off?

"Is that all wwx is bringing with him?" lwj asked, eyeing up wwx's pathetic little backpack.

"It's the only luggage I have," he huffed, balling up a few more pairs of socks up and

stuffing them into any free space he could find. He remembered cold, wet feet and he'd rather avoid that as much as he could, thank you.

"You can borrow one of my bags," lwj offered.

wwx froze in his sock stuffing, peaking behind him at the other man, standing straight and

still as a statue in his doorway, eyes cold and emotionless as always. "It's fine," wwx mumbled, "I'll probably lose it or wreak it and I don't have any money to replace it."

"Mn," lwj hummed at him, "I heard wwx say he had no money to get a present for his foster mother."

wwx twisted around and glared at his neighbour. Fuck, had he been talking that loud? "Yeah, well, I don't get spending money," he said tersely.

"Mn," lwj hummed at him. Always humming at him, could the man not use his actual fucking words.

"Look, I'm in a rush," wwx said,

"and as much as this is a super duper great conversation to be having I have shit to pack, so..." He motioned vaguely to the door hoping lwj would get the hint and leave but...

"I can lend wwx money," lwj offered.

"So I can owe you $150 bucks? No thanks," he snorted, watching

with suppressed glee as the other man crinkled his nose at the rude sound.

"I do not see why you need spend that much."

"If I spend anything less than a hundred she'll know and be pissed, and it'll cost $50 to ship something that far," wwx huffed.

lwj's eyebrows scrunched

together, more expression than wwx usually saw on the man's face. "Why would you not just take it on the plane with you?"

"Because I'm not welcome back there," wwx said coldly.

lwj's eyes popped wide and, at the very least, even if this whole conversation, this whole situation,

sucked, at least he'd gotten to see a few expressions from the other man. "You are not welcome at home," he stated blankly, blinking those wide, innocent eyes at wwx.

"Nope," wwx popped out, turning back to his bag, "and it's not really my home. Just the place I used to live."

"Where will you-"

"I dunno," wwx cut him off. He was so totally done with this conversation, thanks.

"You do not know," lwj said, wwx spinning back around to glare at him again.

"Look, seriously man, I need to pack and get out of here. Having you repeat what I said back to me

isn't fun and it isn't necessary and can you just, yeah know, go?" wwx said, crossing his arms. He seriously didn't need the other man, a little prince, judging him for having a shitty home life. Rich and icy and well behaved, with a nice, warm home waiting for him.

(A/N: lwj here is on the autism spectrum, something wwx doesn't realize. lwj isn't being purposefully rude or anything)

His neighbour blinked at him before turning and returning to his room, not even closing the door behind him. Fuck.

wwx let his arms fall to his sides,

releasing a long sigh. Okay, just being his hot neighbour was being kinda rude it didn't mean he should be taking his stress out on him. He had been rude in a vaguely concerned for wwx way too. He took a few steps forward, intent on going over and apologizing, even though it

would take up some of his precious time when lwj reappeared in his doorway holding a bundle of winter outerwear.

They blinked at each other before lwj held out the bundle. "For wwx," he said seriously.

"What?" wwx asked dumbly.

"For wwx," lwj repeated. "He does not know where

he is going to go and does not own any winter gear. It is cold out."

It was wwx's turn for his eyes to pop out of his head. "How did you know I don't own any?" he asked stupidly. That really wasn't the main point.

"wwx never wears any," lwj said as though it were the most

obvious, well known thing in the world and of course he would know.

"I- I-" wwx stuttered, swallowing as he eyed up the bundle of warm, fluffy, white clothing. "I can't take that. I'll definitely ruin it and you need it."

"I have more," lwj told him, continuing to hold out the

bundle to him. Just how strong was the man? Weren't his arms getting tired yet!? "wwx may treat them as a gift. He need not return them."

"I can't take your clothes," wwx huffed at the man, swivelling back around to check over his room for anything important he had forgotten.

"I insist," lwj said in that horrible, stubborn tone of his.

"And I insist I can't take them," wwx said, doing his best to force a few emergency protein bars into his bag.

"If wwx does not take the clothing I will not leave."

wwx snorted again, half tempted to turn back and

catch the other man's inevitably disgusted reaction. "Ah well, it's your time to waste just standing there until I leave."

"Mn," lwj agreed. "Will follow wwx until he accepts the clothing," he said sternly, expression stubborn and serious when wwx swung back around to gape

at him. "I will let my brother know I will be late," he added, moving further inside wwx's room to dump the bundle onto his desk chair and pull out his phone.

"Whoa, whoa!" wwx cried. "You can't just stick around until I accept!"

"I can," lwj said, fingers moving over his phone

while wwx continued trying to talk some sense into him. Seriously? What the fuck was wrong with that man!?

"No, you really can't!" wwx whined. "Look, I'll be fine. Just take your stuff back and go finish your own packing. Meet your brother on time and-" he waved his hands

around them, "-have a great break?"

"Only if wwx accepts the clothing," lwj said, glancing back up at him.

"Lan Wangji~" wwx whined.

"Wei Wuxian," lwj said sternly.

"Ugh! Why are you so stubborn!" wwx cried, stomping a foot and watching lwj's eye twitch, probably as he

suppressed the urge to chastise wwx.

"wwx is also stubborn," lwj noted mildly, staring into wwx's eyes and possibly straight into his soul.

"I'll be fine."

"You will be better with the clothing."

"I'll be fine without them."

"But better with."

"Look you..." wwx started,

taking a step towards his neighbour.

"If wwx does not accept the clothing I will not have a 'great break,'" lwj suddenly said, stopping wwx's slow, menacing trek towards him.

"What?" wwx asked.

"wwx said he hoped I had a great break. I will not have a 'great break' unless I

know wwx is safe and warm."

wwx growled, actually growled at the other man, trying his best to stare straight into lwj's soul and mostly finding stubbornness and immovability. "Fine," he grumbled, "but I don't want to hear anything about you not getting them back come January."

"Mn," lwj agreed, looking and sounding much too pleased with himself. "They are now wwx's to do with as he pleases," he said seriously, eyes growing cold as he added, "but if I do not see wwx wearing them when he leaves I will return to his side."

wwx glared at the man.

"Fine. Now if that's all I really do need to finish packing."

"Have one more thing for wwx," lwj said, pulling a small piece of paper out of his pocket and holding it out to wwx who grabbed it, huffing and reading it over.

"Your phone number?" he said, releasing a puff of air

as he looked up at the oddly meddlesome man. Seriously, the dude used to radiant a "stay the fuck away from me and don't tell me your problems" vibe. Where had that man gone??

"Mn, in case wwx needs anything."

"Oh, yeah?" wwx said, tilting his head and scanning the other man.

"And what, exactly, are you gonna do if I actually call you for help?"

"Will come and find wwx," lwj said seriously, nodding like it was just that easy.

"You're gonna fly back here and come find me?"

"No," lwj agreed, eyes darkening when wwx once again snorted at him.

"Will drive back and find wwx. Home is not far."

wwx scrunched up his nose. "What? Where do you live?"

"The top of the mountain over there," lwj said, pointing out wwx's window to the rather large, frozen mountain that sat on the border of town.

"Oh," wwx said. How had he not

known that? "Why don't you just live there then?" he asked. "Because seriously, he really seem to hate dorm life."

lwj's lips pressed tight together. "Brother thought I would benefit from living on campus, at least for the first year. He told me he thought it would be an

enjoyable experience."

"Was he fucking with you?" wwx asks, laughing slightly when lwj nodded.

"Yes, I believe so."

"Yeah, you don't really seem like a communal living kind of guy," wwx laughed. Well, at least everything was apparently going to end on a good note.

"Mn," lwj agreed, watching wwx carefully as the moment stretched. Seriously, was he really going to have to ask the man to leave again!? "I believe it is customary," lwj finally said, "to exchange phone numbers by sending a text."

"You- you want my number?"

"Mn," lwj agreed,

"to contact wwx if necessary."

If necessary? Oh fuck, he was gonna give the guy his number and then get texts about how he was being noisy once the new semester started, wasn't he?

"Whatever," he huffed, pulling his phone out and typing lwj's number in and sending off a text.

"Happy?" he asked when lwj's phone chimed.

"Mn," lwj agreed almost warmly. "Please do not hesitate to call if you need anything," he said seriously, finally turning to leave.

"See you next semester!" wwx called after him, totally not slamming the door behind his unwanted guest.

~

A/N: There will also be several off-screen deaths soon, one of a homeless woman due to not getting medical attention, and a homeless man from the weather. wwx will come across the body of the woman. I will give more warnings when we get to the scenes.

~

To be honest, wwx deserved a pat on the back for managing to live on the streets for almost four full days without losing or wrecking any of lwj's gifted clothing. He had worked really hard to make sure it lasted as long as possibly, okay? But as he broke the window of the

decrepit old building to unlock the door he didn't spare his ripping, tearing clothing a second thought, not when that horrible sound continued, driving a sword straight through his heart.

He wasn't even sure what was making that sound. A cat? A fox? Did they have foxes here?

He didn't know. All he knew was that he had to get to it, had to find whatever was in so much pain its cries reached nearly a block away.

He bolted up a set of hazardous looking stairs, creaking and straining under him, the cries growing louder and louder and he really hoped it

(A/N: corpse, descriptions of blood, mentions of wwx trying not to throw up)

wasn't a dog, he'd still rescue the damn thing but it would really suck and-

wwx threw himself back around the corner, bloody images of something, someone, a human, sprawled across the frozen floor

rushing through him and his stomach, heaving and light and trying to empty itself onto the floor. After a few strained breaths, his stomach somersaulting over his spine, wwx straightened up, suddenly very glad he had had very little opportunity to eat that day, the lack of food

his stomach likely the only reason it wasn't currently splayed across the room just like-

wwx pressed a hand to his mouth and glanced back at the room with what seemed to be a very dead person in it, the room those cries were still echoing out of. He had to go back, had to find

that sound, make sure the person was actually dead, call the police.

He peaked around the corner, willing his stomach to settle. He had been homeless for years and eaten some pretty

(A/N: couple of references to deaths of homeless people wwx witnessed when he was younger)

gross shit, seen the occasional dead person, frozen over or ODed, falling apart and- and he could deal with this! When had his stomach become so sensitive!?

wwx took a few tentative steps into the room, glancing around to make sure there wasn't anyone else hiding in the room,

(A/N: gore and death due to lack of medical attention during childbirth)

eyes landing back on the bloody mess on the floor and-

wwx went flying forward when he realized what had happened, the woman's lower half unclothed and bloody and frozen blue, a mess of flesh and blood and

a tiny baby tucked against her chest. wwx scrambled to grab the child, letting the rough, bloody cloth that had been wrapped around them, him, fall to the floor as he ripped the scarf off his neck and did his best to swaddle the thing, cold and tiny screaming and-

He glanced at

the woman, unmoving and blue without even a hint of foggy cold breath leaving her lips. He pressed the baby to his chest, whispering a soft, "Sorry," to the woman, before he was bolting down the stairs, ripping his phone from his pocket and calling emergency services, mumbling

something he could not recall to them.

"What do you mean it could be an hour?" he demanded into the phone as he skidded to a stop at the door. "An accident? Look, I don't think you understand. There's a probably dead woman and a very cold newborn." He growled when the woman

continued making excuses. "Look," he cut her off, "if you don't care about orphaned kids of homeless women just fucking say so," he snapped, ending the call. Bitch.

He stared down at his phone. He knew where the nearest hospital was: really fucking far away and they weren't on

a bus route and it was cold and the baby needed warmth and a doctor and-

"Wei Wuxian," lwj's voice greeted him before he even realized what he was doing.

"Hi," wwx said breathlessly, "I need help. Fast help. Can you come get me?"

~

wwx barely registering lwj holding the

hospital door for him and the small, now horrifyingly silent, baby in his arms as he scurried towards the front desk.

"Hi, baby, cold, newborn, found," he sputtered out, the young nurse behind the desk staring wide eyed up at him and gaping and useless and-

"We found a baby,"

lwj said calmly. How the fuck was he so calm when he had just picked wwx up from the bad part of town holding a tiny, bloody baby in his arms, dripping blood and melting snow all over his expensive, white car? "His mother appeared to have died during childbirth. We called

emergency support, however they said it would be a significant wait, so we drove," he added, the poor nurse startling back to life and standing to eye up the baby, eyes widening as she pressed a button that immediately set off a code call, loud and then there were nurses and

doctors rushing towards them, taking the baby and assuring wwx that they would look after him.

wwx remembered being upset, worried and cold without the small boy in his arms. He remembered strong arms pulling him back and a deep voice whispering that it would be okay, that the

doctors would take care of the baby. He remembered being hauled away, very possibly even carried as though he were a child, to sit in a waiting room, fancy and warm and being tucked against a strong chest as he registered he was crying, wet and warm against a fuzzy, solid chest.

~

The soft sound of people talking yanked wwx back into the waking world. He bolted upright. When had he fallen asleep? Where was he? He didn't think he should be this warm. He blinked, lwj's gorgeous, cold and oddly concerned face falling into view, his memories falling into

him along with it.

"The baby?" he asked, glancing around them, his eyes landing on an older looking doctor sitting on the chair beside them. Beside them? wwx looked down to find he was sitting in lwj's lap. What. The. Fuck.

"He is doing good," the doctor said, wwx's eyes

shooting back up, their embarrassing position forgotten. "We have warmed him back up and done all the necessary tests," the doctor assured him. "We do not believe much time had passed between his birth and you finding him, that is very likely why he is fine. You probably

saved his life."

wwx blinked back tears. "Can- can I see him?" he asked. He didn't think they'd let him. He wasn't family. He was just some random, semi-homeless dude who happened to find the kid and save his life and-

"Of course," the doctor told him. "Lan-xiansheng has paid

for a private room for the boy. I was just telling him that the boy is being transferred now. I can take you to the room if you-"

"Yes!" wwx cried, scrambling up from lwj's lap.

lwj rose, grabbing a bag from the chair beside them. "Mn, please," he said, moving to stand weirdly

close to him.

wwx watched him while the doctor rose as well, kind and smiling and motioning for them to follow him out of the room and down the maze of halls.

"Do you know what happened to- to his mom?" wwx asked nervously. He didn't exactly hope she was dead, but he sure hoped

(A/N: vague details about the mother's death)

if she was it had happened before he'd left her there.

"Yes," the doctor said, smiling sadly at him, "it appears she died a few minutes after giving birth. She had enough time to wrap the chid up to keep him warm, but that was it."

"Oh..." wwx said, staring down at the lines on the hospital floor as they walked, halting when the doctor stepped in front of him.

"There was nothing you could have done," the doctor told him, voice immovable, "even if you had been there when she gave birth. Unless she had been

in the hospital, the complication... there was no way she would have survived without a doctor." The doctor set his hand on wwx's shoulder. "You saved the child," the doctor told him sternly, "do not be sad about a life you had no chance of saving."

wwx glanced up at him,

nodding awkwardly. Sure, he knew that logically, but logic was a funny, finicky thing.

They followed the doctor down a few more halls before he led them into a small, private room containing two beds and a tiny little cradle that wwx immediately rushed over to, barely noticing

the nurse standing next to it.

"Hi there little man," wwx cooed down at the small little bundle, swaddled properly this time, eyes just barely open. He reached down to rub a finger against the baby's cheek, soft and weird. "How are you feeling? Been a big day for you. Me too."

"Do you know anything about the father?" lwj asked while wwx continued poking lightly at the baby, laughing quietly when his face scrunched up in annoyance.

"We are waiting for the police to confirm, but we believe the woman had visited the clinic a few times during her

pregnancy," the doctor said. "She usually came in with a man, who she said was the father. He was also homeless." wwx tensed slightly. Had they really been planning on raising the child on the streets? He knew people were attached to the things they grew inside them but-

(A/N: that other off-screen death)

"He was brought in with severe frost bite a few weeks ago, following that cold snap. He did not survive."

"I see," lwj said. "What will happen to the child?"

"Well," the doctor sighed, accepting a tablet from the nurse as she left the room,

"even before he died they indicated that they wished to give the child up for adoption. They said they had no family and the streets were no place to raise a child. A social worker will be here shortly to begin paperwork for him." The doctor scanned over the tablet, nodding and

setting it back into a holder on the wall. "A nurse will return in an hour to feed the child again. You are free to stay here or leave. The child is in good hands," he assured them, glancing between lwj and wwx, peaking over his shoulder at the man. He nodded once and turned,

quickly leaving them and the child behind.

wwx turned back to the baby, wiggling slightly in his swaddle, as though trying to break free. "Cutie," wwx whispered, smiling down at him. "I get it, I don't like being tied up either," he said, smile widening when he leaned in to

(A/N: vague mentions of bondage)

whisper, "not unless the guy is really hot."

Behind him a loud bang echoed, startling a cry out of the baby and a soft, "Fuck," from lwj.

"Oh, oh!" wwx cooed as he swooped the baby up. "There, there sweet boy, it's okay," he said, glancing back

at lwj who was rubbing his shin next to one of the beds. "Did you just walk into the bed?" wwx asked, raising an eyebrow at the man as he rocked the bundle in his arms.

"Yes," lwj sighed, continuing to rub the spot, a grimace spread across his face. "I am sorry for

startling you," he told the baby, face and tone so serious it yanked a laugh from wwx. lwj's eyes shifted up to his from the baby's, an eyebrow quirking as though asking him, "What the fuck is so funny," which just succeeded in making wwx laugh harder.

He glanced down when the

baby burbled at him. "Aww, are you trying to laugh at silly Lan Zhan too?" he laughed, catching lwj tense out of the corner of his eye. "What?" he asked, looking back up at his neighbour. "You really want me to introduce you as Lan Wangji to a baby without a name?"

"No," lwj agreed slowly, "I was not expecting Wei Ying to know my birth name."

wwx's eyes widened. Oh, having the beautiful, mean man call him by his birth name was not going to be good for his heart.

"Nor did I expect lz to know mine," he said back, focusing his eyes back on

the baby, who had thankfully settled back down. He shuffled over to the bed lwj had accidentally kicked, snuggling onto it, the baby held firmly to his chest as he stared down at him.

"Mn," lwj hummed after a moment, sitting down beside them and reaching out a hand to gently pat

the child's head, "every time I filled out a report on wy breaking the rules I had to put down both of his names."

wwx gaped up at the man who's eyes were filled with much too much glee. "Hmm..." he hummed, eyes shifting back to the baby, watching the other man treat him softer

than wwx had thought his mean neighbour capable of. "I haven't been in that much trouble," he grumbled.

"Mn," lwj hummed, "less than some people, more than most."

wwx released a puff of air, startling a gurgle out of the baby when it hit him. wwx smiled softly down at him,

glancing back up at lwj to find the other man already watching him, eyes soft and warm and filled with something wwx hadn't seen in a long, long time.

He swallowed and averted his eyes back down. Weird fucking day.

~

"Ah, you're still here," the doctor noted as he entered the

room, a young, grumpy looking man following behind him. "This is the social worker I spoke of. The police were able to confirm the identity of the woman, so we will be proceeding with starting the child into the adoption process."

wwx's arms tightened slightly around the child

sleeping in his arms, tummy full after having just being fed by wwx. The nurse had tried to take the baby away and wwx had growled at him until lwj stepped in and convinced him to allow wwx to try feeding the boy. wwx had fed him very well, thank you.

"I see," lwj said, voice

sounding slightly strained to wwx's ears. "What does the timeline look like?"

"The timeline?" the grumpy social worker asked, sneering slightly at lwj and definitely sneering at wwx when his eyes scanned over him.

"Mn," lwj hummed tightly, "for how long it will be before he is

adopted, for where he will live in the meantime."

The social worker huffed, stepping forward to leer down at wwx and the child. "He's not exactly the cutest thing in the world," he said.

"Oi!" wwx cried, trying to keep at least a bit quite while the child slept. "What does that

mean? And what does that have to do with anything?"

"Cuter babies get adopted faster," the man sneered, narrowing his eyes at wwx, "and this one is not cute."

"You-" wwx growled, cutting off when lwj stepped between them.

"The timeline?" he asked coldly, even colder than the

time he had caught wwx running half naked through the halls with alcohol. Many, many rules had been broken that night.

The man shrugged. "Couple months. People try to get kids before xmas, not after. He'll be put into a group home for a few weeks and then moved either into

foster care or, if he's lucky, adopted."

wwx's arms tightened around the child. "A group home?" he asked. "For a baby, who needs love and affection and care basically 24/7?"

"It is xmas," the man said, rolling his eyes at wwx while he gaped back at him. "Nobody wants a new baby

disrupting their plans."

"Disrupting their plans!" wwx yelled, unable to keep his volume down and startling the child into a screaming wakefulness. "Oh, oh, I'm sorry!" wwx cooed down. "I'm sorry, I was just really upset with the horrible man over there."

(A/N: like many xmas movies we are gonna be playing fast and loose with the whole *handwaves* laws thing. Magical world where there is no homophobia and you can just take a random baby you found on the streets home with you with very little effort)

"Hey!" the man growled. "It's not my fault people don't want surprise kids during the holidays. We only have so many foster parents and they're all full."

"We will foster him," lwj said, wwx's eyes shooting away from the still crying child to his back, still turned to wwx from

when he had stepped between him and the awful social worker.

The man snorted. "You have to be approved to foster."

"Lan-xiansheng and his family have bee generous donors of the hospital for generations," the doctor piped up from where he had been hovering awkwardly at the door.

"I'm sure we can work something out to allow him to foster the child. The other young man was correct, of course," he added, smiling softly at wwx, "the child will be better off with 24/7 love and affection and care, especially considering what he's gone through."

"Oh yeah,"

the man snorted, "there was that, too. Never mind, the chances of him getting adopted at all are shit. No one wants a child who was traumatized at birth."

wwx pressed him lips together. Don't scream at the dude. Don't scream at the dude.

"Still want to foster him?" the man

asked lwj tauntingly. "He'll end up in a group home eventually anyways." He smiled cruelly at lwj, adding, "He'll end up in one the moment you get sick of him."

This time it was lwj who growled at the man, wwx's eyes popping wide at the rude noise. "We will foster him,"

lwj repeated coldly, turning to the doctor. "Dr. Luo will help?"

"Of course!" the doctor agreed, smile tight and pained as he glanced between the men. "I will directly contact the head of the agency," he said. "That should speed things up. I will let you know when I have a

general timeline. If you both would accompany me then we can get things started," he told lwj and the horrible social worker.

"Fine," the man snarled, "but don't come crying to be when the kid ends up fucked up because of this."

"He will not," lwj told him, turning back to nod

once at wwx and gently pat the still crying baby on the head. "I will be back," he said quietly, once again doing that weird stare that wwx felt digging straight into his soul, before turning and following the other men out of the room, the door sliding closed behind them.

~

wwx pressed his lips together, puffed his cheeks out and reminded himself that he had a snoozing baby pressed to his chest and if he screamed in frustration he would wake them up. He turned his head to the side, releasing a long puff of air before glaring back down at his phone.

lwj had left, gone to buy a few baby necessities for the night before they took the kid... somewhere. wwx wasn't even sure where they were taking the kid. Back to lwj's home? To a hotel? No clue, but they were taking the kid, at least he thought they were. lwj had definitely

spoken in terms of we and us, but wwx wasn't entirely sure lwj wasn't just gonna take the baby with him to god knows where and send wwx back out onto the streets.

wwx shook the thoughts off. No point worrying about it until lwj sent him packing, plus he had other things to worry

about, namely: how useless the internet was in telling him how to raise a baby. Seriously? Hundreds of thousands of years of raising the damn things and no one could agree on what was best? To co-sleep or not to co-sleep. To swaddle or not to swaddle.

To breastfeed or not to breastfeed, and how long to do it. Not that wwx or lwj had the equipment to do that last one, at least not as far as he knew, but they could hire a wet nurse? lwj seemed loaded so that was probably an option, if they chose to go that route.

The one thing the internet did unhelpfully agree on? Adopted children, children who were brought into the world traumatically, children who had unstable lives in their formative years? Yeah, they were way more likely to be fucked up later in life. Great. Just peachy.

wwx glanced down at the little bundle in his arms, happily fed and sleeping away and pressed a gentle kiss to his head. "Don't worry little man, I'll do everything I can to make sure you grow up great," he whispered, eyes shooting up when the door opened, ready to growl at yet

another nurse. "Lan Zhan," he said, relaxing a little when he saw his neighbour/gay awakening/possible co-parent standing in the doorway holding a car seat.

"Wei Ying," lwj greeted him voice slightly tight as his eyes roamed over wwx's naked chest, equally naked baby pressed

securely to it.

wwx narrowed his eyes. "You aren't gonna go off on me about 'tradition' too, now are you? Some old nurse already gave me a spiel about how swaddling was a Chinese tradition and I was being disrespectful to my ancestors by letting the kid's limbs be free," wwx bit

out. "Skin-to-skin contact is also important, and from what I can find on the internet," he said, waving his phone around, "the Chinese brand of extreme swaddling isn't very good for development."

"Mn..." lwj agreed after a moment. "Swaddling can be helpful in moderation for the

first few months, if the child enjoys it." He stepped forward into the room, letting the door slide closed behind him. "Tradition can be good, tradition can be bad," he added as he placed the car seat down and sat beside wwx on the bed, reaching forward to gently pat the

baby's head.

"Oh," wwx said, "I didn't peg you as someone who'd know shit about babies."

"Language," lwj said sternly, shifting his eyes to wwx's. "I did research while waiting to pay."

"Ah, as expected of our school's top student," wwx teased, eyes flying to lwj's ears when

they began to turn red. Was lwj blushing?

"Mn," lwj hummed noncommittally. "Are you ready to go?"

"Oh! Yeah, uhm... do you want to...?" he moved his arms slightly, trying to indicated to lwj that he should take the baby only to find him staring dumbly at them. "Take the baby?"

lwj's mouth parted in a tiny, "Ah," before he reached out, accepting the baby from wwx, who gave him quiet instructions about how to properly hold him.

wwx reached for his shirt, shifting off the bed as he pulled it on and slipped his shoes back on, grimacing when he discovered

that were still somewhat wet. "Ok!" he said as cheerfully as he could. "Guess we gotta get this little guy into some clothes before we put him in the car seat."

"Mn," lwj agreed, looking somewhat uncomfortable as he held the baby. "I put some in the seat."

"Lan Zhan is so

prepared~" wwx singsonged quietly as he grabbed the clothes and baby, quickly maneuvering him into the clothes and then the seat, pressing a kiss to his tiny, sleeping head.

"Wei Ying is good at this," lwj said seriously as wwx picked up the seat, balancing it on his hip.

"Ah..." wwx said, averting his eyes. "It's nothing."

"Is not nothing," lwj said sternly as he opened the door for them ushering wwx and the baby through.

wwx followed quietly beside lwj as he led them through the maze of hallways towards checkout. "So, we can really just take

him?" wwx asked as they waited behind an older woman in a wheelchair, being checked out by her son-in-law.

"Mn," lwj hummed. "Someone will visit in the new year to access us for suitability."

"Suitability?"

"Mn. Safety of the home, whether we can provide the child with a good

and healthy life," lwj said, adding, a small downturn to his mouth, "The bar is extremely low. As long as we are not obviously abusive they will not remove the child."

"Well, that's depressing," wwx said dryly, looking down at the baby. "Don't worry," he said seriously down at

the sleeping boy, "we will not be either obviously or secretly abusive."

"Mn," lwj agreed just as seriously as he stepped towards the nurse checking everyone out, handing over several pieces of paperwork, wwx hovering uselessly behind him.

"That's it?" he asked when lwj stepped

away a few moments later, lwj nodding slowly to him. "Man, it's surprisingly easy to acquire a baby."

"Dr. Luo pulled some strings," lwj told him as they headed outside, leading them towards a car that... well, wwx couldn't be positive but he was pretty sure it wasn't the same

one lwj had picked him up in?

"Mn," lwj agreed when wwx asked him about it while lwj attempted to get the car seat strapped in. "The other car was too small for the items we needed and it was... dirty," he said, sighing audibly when the jostling of the car seat woke the baby up.

"Ah! What a good pair of lungs you have you," wwx teased, leaning forward to peak that the baby when lwj pulled back, having finished strapping the seat in. "I'd be crying too if I woke up in a different place than where I fell asleep. Unfortunately, as a small baby, who is

entirely dependant on his caregivers you will probably have to get used to that."

He glanced back at lwj, who looked incredibly uncomfortable and put off by the crying, or the baby in general. Ok, the chances of lwj dropping him back on the street were probably pretty low if

this was how he behaved around the kid. Actually, if he was this uncomfortable why had he even offered to foster the kid in the first place?

"Perhaps wy should sit with him," lwj said, looking blankly out across the parking lot.

"Ah, sure," wwx said, straightening up. "I could

do that."

lwj nodded and moved around the car, opening the backseat for wwx to slide in before getting into the driver's seat and starting the car, the baby's crying growing louder with the sudden rumble and noise.

"Ah, sweet boy. Don't worry, we'll be home soon. Ah...

how far is, uhm, where we're going?" he asked lwj, leaning forward to peak at him.

"About an hour," lwj sighed, glancing at wwx and that baby through the mirror that he seemed to be adjusting to give him a better view of them. "Hopefully he will... grow accustomed to the car

before we arrive."

"Yeah," wwx laughed, turning back to the baby. "I heard a rumour," he whispered to the baby, "that babies actually love cars. Perhaps you'll learn to love them and fall asleep in them too."

"It is not good to rely on cars to put babies to sleep," lwj said

as he pulled out of the parking spot, slowly working his way towards the exit.

"No?" wwx asked, waving his fingers in front of the baby before squinting and pulling out his phone. Could babies even see well enough to be distracted by fingers at this age?

"No," lwj said sternly.

"It is unsafe for babies to be in their car seat for more than a few hours and it is not recommended to rely on such things to get a child to sleep."

"Ohhhh," wwx hummed, before asking, "How long were you waiting to pay for? You seem to have researched quite a bit."

"A while,"

lwj said tightly.

wwx laughed quietly, glancing over at the baby when his crying settled a bit. "Oh, did you like something, little one?" he asked, side eyeing lwj. "Maybe you like it when lz is annoyed. Ah! How tragic that would be for lz if you grew up purposefully trying to

annoy him!" he teased, wiggling around while he laughed.

"I believe it is wy's laughter he enjoys," lwj said coldly when the baby's crying gurgled to a stop.

"Ah?" wwx intoned as his laughed stopped, turning to took at the baby who was sniffling at him. "Does my sweet little

boy like my laugh?" he asked, smiling down at the little baby and leaning forward until he was within the 8-12 inches the internet had told him babies could see.

"Wei Ying," lwj said tersely, "that is unsafe."

wwx sighed and leaned back. "lz is obviously going to be the safe,

responsible parent," he told the baby. "That's okay, means I can be the fun parent and lz can keep us both alive and kicking."

"Mn," lwj hummed quietly, wwx glancing up at the back of his head, "will make sure you both are safe."

wwx felt blood rush across his cheeks. Stupid.

What a stupid thing to be embarrassed by, being taken care of.

"Hey..." wwx asked after several long minutes of silence, "Have you, ya know, thought about what'll happen with," he waved awkwardly between the three of them, "all of this? Once school starts again, I mean."

"No," lwj said almost immediately, "I have been... avoiding thinking about it."

"Mmm..." wwx hummed, looking back down at the baby who had managed to fall asleep again with the rocking of the car. "We should probably talk or think about it at some point, right?"

"Mn," lwj agreed, although he said nothing else and wwx let the topic drop. They had a few weeks of winter break, time to figure something out, time to just avoid thinking about it.

He wiggled down in his seat, eyes fluttering shut under the bright street lights in the

darkening evening. There would be time enough tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that to worry about the future, to worry about babies and school and names and reusable or disposable diapers. There would be time to panic and worry, time to enjoy and love and get

way too attached to the adorable little boy and their knight in shining armour.

wwx smiled softly, sadly to himself as he peaked back open at lwj and then at the baby. His baby. His knight in shining armour. Fuck. He was already screwed, wasn't he?

~

"Wei Ying?" lwj's soft voice called to him, wwx's eyes fluttering open to look at the beautiful man.

He smiled sleepily up at him. "Lan Zhan~" he yawned, arms stretching high above his head as he groaned. "Did I fall asleep in the library again?"

lwj huffed. "Not the library.

You fell asleep in the car."

"Car?" wwx asked, blinking around them, the world and the situation coming crashing back onto him and-

"Where's the baby?" he asked, bolting upright and looking at where the car seat had been before he fell asleep.

"Already inside," lwj said.

Top of Thread, in case anyone is looking for it.

https://twitter.com/_stiricide_/status/1607076363982491649

"We should get back. He needs to be fed and should not be left sleeping in his car seat."

"Ah!" wwx cried, scrambling to unbuckle and follow lwj. "You managed to get the seat out without him waking up?"

"Mn," lwj hummed as he slowly moved towards a cute little,

traditionally-styled house. "Come."

wwx glanced around into the dark winter night as he followed lwj across a small bridge and up the wooden steps to the house. "Wow..." he sighed softly. "This is just like something out of movie. Do you live here?"

"Mn, my family does not like

change," he said, somewhat tightly. "There have been some renovations and additions to the property over the years, but it remains much the same as it did several hundred years ago." lwj pulled open the door, allowing wwx to enter first before following, the door snapping closed

behind them.

"Several hundred years?" wwx asked, eyes wide as he looked around the room.

"Mn," lwj hummed, telling wwx, "proper heating and electrical has been added, and the second bedroom was converted into a study several decades ago."

"Oh." So there was only one bedroom?

He continued looking around, catching sight of the baby, beginning to wiggle and gurgle in his seat, quickly slipping off his shoes and leaving them in the middle of the entrance to go over to him. "Good evening, little one," he said softly, deftly unbuckling the boy and pulling

him out of the seat. "Let's get you out of this outdoor clothing, hm?"

"I will get the things I bought from the car," lwj said, wwx glancing back to find him moving his shoes to the side before he slipped back outside.

"Ah~" wwx sighed, looking down at the increasingly restless

baby. "I'm afraid we'll be annoying the ever living shit out of lz for a while." He looked around, finding a small cushion to lay the kid on and began slipping him out of his warm clothes, gently booping him on the nose before hoisting him up into his arms. "He's a tidy, kind of

finicky fellow and I am a mess. Honestly," he said seriously, gazing down at the child and gently rocking him from side to side, "you are probably tidier than I am, and you poop in a diaper."

The baby gurgled at him, scrunching up his face like he was contemplating whether to

cry or not. wwx gently moved a hand to pat the baby's butt, finding it soft and smushy, and pushed himself to his feet before moving back to the door.

"Ah... lz?" he called as he pushed the door open with his foot. "You did get diapers, right?"

"Of course," lwj replied as he

mounted the steps. "They are in this bag," he said, raising one of the bags he held which... was a lot of bags.

"lz..." wwx whined, stepping aside to let him back inside. "I thought you were just getting the essentials and we were gonna go get most of the stuff tomorrow."

"Mn," lwj agreed, settling the bags down and beginning to pull out several items. "This is all essential," he said, opening a bag and laying the piece of fabric onto the floor, along with some wipes and a small bag of disposable diapers, setting one down beside the wipes.

"I will get the rest of the bags," he said, rising and heading back outside before wwx could ask about how in the world he had more bags of "essential" items.

"Aiya!" wwx cried as he began stripping the baby. "I do believe that you are going to be one spoiled little kid!"

wwx was just taping the diaper closed when lwj returned, somehow carrying even more bags than before. "lz~" he whined again. "Seriously, will we even need to go buy anything else?"

"Yes," the other man said seriously, putting the bags down and removing his shoes, setting them

neatly beside wwx's. "We will need more diapers and clothing."

wwx stared at him while he waited for him to say what else they would need but lwj simply picked the bags back up and moved them towards the other bags, beginning to pull each item out and set them into several

different piles.

"There is a small kitchen through there," he said, nodding to a doorway on one side of the room. "I did not read the instructions for making the formula, however the woman at the store recommended this brand," he said, lifting a box from a bag and beginning to

read the back, grimacing when the baby began to cry.

"Ah, there, there," wwx cooed down at him, lifting him up and moving towards the kitchen, lwj following behind him with the box in one hand and a box of what appeared to be bottles in the other. "Don't worry, Lan Zhan will

figure out how to get you food."

"Mn," lwj hummed seriously as wwx plopped down in a chair to watch as the other man attempted to make the formula.

"wy, shut up," lwj finally hissed after several minutes of washing hands and bottles and countertops, of boiling water for exactly

60 seconds and glaring at it while it cooled much too slowly, the baby's crying growing louder and louder, and finally searching the internet to find out if putting the water outside or in the fridge to cool was safe, all while wwx gave the screaming child commentary.

wwx laughed softly, glancing down at the baby when his crying waned slightly. "Oh! I think you were right!" he said cheerfully. "This little man does like it when his Xian-gege laughs." He smiled and laughed down at the baby, who continued to cry but quieter than before.

"Ah," he sighed, teasing, "making your food sure takes a while. Would be much easier if I just had boobies to feed you with. Aiya! lz are you okay?"

"Mn," lwj hummed, gently shaking out the leg he had banged into a drawer. "The box gave instructions for making food for 24 hours.

I will make more once he is fed."

"M'kay," wwx hummed happily. "How often is he supposed to eat anyways?

"Every 2-3 hours."

wwx's smile froze. "Are you serious?" he asked, looking dumbly up at lwj. "That much? When in the world do people who only breastfeed sleep?"

"I do not know," lwj said, glancing between the instructions and the bottle as he scooped out the formula, carefully attaching the nipple and cap, and shaking vigorously.

"You should do it," wwx said when lwj tried to hand him the bottle. He stood and looked around. There had

to be a more comfortable place to sit and feed the kid somewhere. "Do you have a couch or something?" he asked, frowning when lwj shook his head. "Anything?"

"A bed," lwj said simply, bottle still extended out to wwx, who looked at him expectantly.

"And, uhm... where is the

bed?" he asked, voice raised to be heard over the baby's once again screaming cries.

lwj turned and led them back through to the main area and through to a room at the other side of the house. wwx hesitated at the door. This was lwj's bedroom. Clean and perfect and a bit cold,

temperature wise, colour wise.

"wy?" lwj asked, his voice startling wwx back into movement.

"Yup! I'm here," wwx said cheerfully. "I was just admiring your room. Now, sit, sit!"

"wy, I don't-"

"Don't what?" wwx asked innocently. "Don't expect me to be the one to get up every

2-3 hours to feed him? Well, that's a relief! Now, let's make sure you know how to do it!" He plopped down on lwj's bed, trying not to think about how lwj had slept here, wearing god knows what, just that morning. He smiled expectantly up at lwj who finally seemed to get a hint

and, sighing audibly, sat beside wwx, awkwardly accepting the crying child into his arms.

Despite looking uncomfortable, lwj was a very good student. Nodding and listening seriously while wwx explained how to hold and feed the baby, how to encourage him to eat if he wasn't into

it, just like one of the nurses had done for him earlier. Not the one he'd growled at. That nurse had thrown up her hands at him and left, sending a very young, very scared looking nurse back to "help" him. Luckily, wwx was good with people and after only a few kind, teasing

words she had relaxed, guiding him through the process until he was a pro. A "I've fed a newborn exactly once" pro, but a pro none-the-less!

wwx sighed and flopped back onto the bed when the baby and lwj had settled, lwj sitting ramrod straight while the baby happily ate,

his eyes rudely soft despite his previous discomfort. "Cute," wwx mumbled, yawning into his hand. What time was it? He had no idea, but fuck was he tired, despite having had more than one nap.

"Mn," lwj agreed, and for a moment wwx thought he was agreeing that he, lwj, was cute.

"He is very cute," lwj said, blinking down at the baby.

"You're both cute," wwx did not say, instead moaning and stretching, back arching off the bed. He pushed himself up and glanced back over at lwj, who's ears were shockingly red. Maybe he had a heat regulation issue?

That would explain why the room was so cold. "I'm gonna go look at all the shit you bought."

"Language," lwj chastised him quietly.

"Yeah, yeah," wwx said, pushing himself off the bed, mumbling, "I'll work on it," as he moved back into the main area.

~

wwx glanced up to find lwj exiting his bedroom without the baby. “Where’s the little man?” he asked. “Did you need something else for him?”

lwj shook his head, coming to sit beside wwx. “No. He is now swaddled and sleeping, thank you for finding the instructional video.”

“No problem,” wwx laughed. “Hopefully it won’t take as long to wrestle him into it next time.”

“Mn,” lwj agreed, starting to arrange all the items wwx had pulled out of the bags into piles that wwx stared at, trying to figure out what each pile was for. “He will need to spend

a significant amount of the next few weeks swaddled. We will have numerous opportunities to practice.”

“I guess…” wwx said absentmindedly. He was pretty sure that one pile belonged in the bedroom and another in the kitchen, but had yet to figure out what the third pile was for.

“Is wy tired?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, I guess,” wwx said, his quiet laugh breaking into a yawn. “I napped a bunch today, but somehow I’m still wiped.”

“wy has had an eventful day. It is to be expected that he would be tired. I also do not think passing out from crying or exhaustion

counts as napping. You may go to bed, if you like,” lwj told him, carefully turning each item of clothing inside out and setting them into another pile which, wwx assumed, needed to be washed.

“Ah~” wwx sighed. “About that, are we all going to share the bed or…?”

lwj’s hands momentarily froze before turning yet another onesie inside out. “wy may decide. If he is uncomfortable with sharing a bed I will take the floor.”

“The floor!” wwx cried, slapping a hand to his mouth and turning wide eyes on the bedroom.

“Newborns often sleep quite

soundly,” lwj told him mildly, barely glancing up. “We cannot be quiet half the day while he sleeps.”

“Oh… I guess,” wwx said, fiddling with one of the mysterious cloths he’d found among the items. “You can’t sleep on the floor, we can share. Two boys and a baby. It’ll be

great!”

“Mn,” lwj hummed noncommittally. “I put wy’s bag in the bathroom,” he added, pointing towards another door.

wwx smiled brightly at his temporary bedmate before breaking into yet another yawn. “Thanks,” he mumbled from behind his hand, rising and turning towards the

bathroom, briefly catching sight of lwj’s oddly red ears.

The bathroom was, as expected, very nice and very clean and wwx cringed as he pulled his dirty items from his bag. He had been meaning to go to a laundry-mat today but, well, shit happens. Life happens. Usually life

didn’t drop random dead women and their babies in your lap but, well.

wwx grimaced as he pulled his toothbrush out, a pile of dirt following. Gross. He’d pick up a new one tomorrow, but in the meantime should he use it or resort to finger brushing. He looked down at the brush,

rinsing it off and-

He dropped the brush into the garbage bin. Seriously, when did his stomach get so tender? Hopefully when he had to start changing diapers it would prove to be a bit more sturdy. Speaking of which, the little baby hadn’t pooped yet. Was that normal?

wwx pulled his phone out, noting that the battery was getting critically low, and quickly searched for baby poop facts.

“Huh…” he mumbled to himself, startling when lwj knocked on the door.

“wy?” lwj called softly through the door. “Are you alright?”

“Ah, yeah,” wwx said,

pulling the door open. “I got distracted researching baby poop. Did you know a baby’s first poop is weird and sterile, because they don’t have bacteria in their intestines until their first feeding?” he asked, fully aware that his tone and speak pattern was beginning to lean

towards manic and hyper focused. Hyper focusing on baby facts probably wasn’t the worst thing in the world but…

lwj blinked at him and wwx deflated a bit. Another person who probably found facts and obsessions annoying and boring. “I did not,” the other man said evenly. “He has

not pooped yet, I believe?”

“No,” wwx confirmed, turning back to the sink and grabbing his toothpaste. “The internet says he should poop sometimes in the first 24 hours.”

“I see…” lwj said. “What are you doing?” he asked as wwx squeezed a bit of toothpaste onto his finger.

“My toothbrush got dirty,” wwx said, shrugging as he gently wet his finger. “I’ll get a new one tomorrow, but in the meantime: finger brush!” He smiled at lwj who looked quite upset. “Uhm… is something wrong lz?”

“Mn,” lwj hummed, his nose crinkling adorably. “Move.”

“Move? Ah-“ wwx stepped aside as lwj squatted in front of the sink and looked through the cabinets pulling out a brand new toothbrush and handing it over to wwx. “Ah, thanks!” wwx said cheerily, rinsing off his finger brush.

“Mn… if wy needs anything else please ask,” lwj said

sternly, practically glaring at wwx.

“Ok?” wwx squeaked, biting his lip as he opened the package.

lwj hummed at him but remained in place, watching wwx brush his teeth. “Does wy need sleep clothes?” he asked suddenly.

“Oh, I actually usually just sleep in my underwear,”

wwx said, adding, “and I’ve just been sleeping in my clothes the last few days given that I’ve been, well…” he waved awkwardly around them.

“Given that you were sleeping on the street,” lwj finished coldly.

“Hey now,” wwx objected, turning a serious look on his… person he had

a complicated relationship with, “you have no proof of that.”

lwj blinked at him, looking particularly unimpressed. “wy may sleep in his underwear, if he wishes. I will lend him clothes if he is uncomfortable.”

“Ah… well, as long as you don’t have a problem with it?”

“I do not,” lwj told him, turning to leave and adding, “I also prefer to sleep in my underwear. I hope wy has no problems with it?”

wwx choked on the water he had been rinsing his mouth with, water spilling down his front. “Nope,” he squeaked between coughs, “no problem at all.”

A/N: I hath returned! If you're new here, here's the link to the top, and know that while this is inspired by crappy xmas obsessed people it's actually more of a holiday vacation, accidental child acquisition fic! There actually isn't much xmas here lol

Top of Thread

https://twitter.com/_stiricide_/status/1607076363982491649

Also, if you're wondering: wwx took a shower at the hospital, where they also forced him to change his bloody clothes. He was a biohazard. He's not just hopping into bed like covered in dirt and grime and specks of blood!

Also, please don't take this fic as a recommendation for

or against anything. There are way too many ways to raise children and often the 'official' advice varies from expert to expert and parent to parent. I definitely have views on certain things, but those aren't necessarily the views of the characters.

~

The first time wwx woke it was to lwj slipping into bed behind him.

"Go back to sleep, wy," lwj murmured softly, leaning over him to check on the baby, tucked between wwx and the wall, blankets tucked into the slight gap between the wall and the bed, although wwx was pretty sure

babies this young didn't move enough to accidentally end up in it, especially swaddled ones. Better safe than sorry though, he supposed.

"Mn... want a hug," wwx mumbled sleepily, because he was apparently unable to resist teasing the other man even when half-asleep. Still,

he was surprised a moment later when lwj's arms settled around him, warm and safe and wwx couldn't help but wrap his hand around lwj's wrist.

"Stay here for a bit?" he asked, a tiny bit of desperation for human contact seeping through his voice. Hugging the baby had been nice,

but having someone grown wrap themselves around him was-

"Alright," lwj said quietly, shifting until his bare chest was pressed firmly into wwx's back, his knees slotting in perfectly behind wwx's. "Goodnight, wy," he whispered into wwx's hair.

wwx hummed something that was

meant to be goodnight, darkness sliding over him.

~

The second time wwx woke it was to the sound of the baby crying and lwj's warm form unwrapping from him.

"Go back to sleep," lwj murmured softly, leaning over his to pick up the crying infant. "There is no reason for both of

us to get up," he said firmly, rising from the bed and slipping out of the room.

~

The third time wwx woke he was alone and disoriented. He reached around for his phone, tapping on the screen only for it to stay dark because he had forgotten to plug it in. He sighed and pushed

himself up, light from the other room leaking through around the door along with the soft sound of walking.

"What are you doing?" he asked sleepily, yawning into his hand as he shuffled into the main area, blinking at lwj's bare legs. Fuck were they muscular, wwx bet the man

could rail his partners into next week for muscles that big. wwx's eyes slide higher, hoping to catch a glimpse of what was sure to be a beautifully toned stomach and sadly finding that lwj had slipped a sweater on. Shucks.

"He will not sleep and begins to cry the moment I put

him down... or sit," lwj said sleepily, looking like he was about to topple over as he took small steps around the room.

"Oh..." wwx sighed, watching the squirming baby in lwj's arms. "I read something once that said babies stop crying when they're caregiver is standing because

it signals to their brain that they're in danger, like their mama is about to run for their lives and they need to shut the fuck up."

lwj stared wide eyed over at him and wwx sleepily catalogued that look as probably being one of horror.

"I dunno if it's true," wwx added,

yawning into his hand.

"You mean... it is tricking him into being quiet by making him think he is in danger?" lwj asked quietly, his slow walk ceasing as he turned his gaze away from wwx and back to the baby.

"Maybe? I dunno, the article could have also said that may have been

where the instinct to shut up came from?" wwx said, blinking sleepily at him before smiling slightly. "What happened to the baby needs to get used to noise? Shouldn't he also get used to not always being in some standing person's arms?"

lwj shot him a unimpressed look. "I do not

think those are the same things," he said as wwx snickered quietly, the baby gurgling at the sound.

"Hi little man," wwx said, wandering over to them and pressing a kiss to his forehead, before shooting lwj a smile and leaning in to press a kiss to his forehead as well.

"Wei Ying," lwj scolded gently, "do not tease."

"Who says I'm teasing?" wwx shot back, smiling at him before yawning again. "If lz wants," he asked behind his yawn, "I'll kiss him every time I kiss this little cutie pie."

"Do not say things you do not mean," lwj said coldly,

startling when wwx immediately pressed another kiss to each of their cheeks.

"How long have you two been out here?" wwx asked before lwj could object again.

lwj watched him through narrowed eyes that told wwx he might regret messing with the man later. "About two hours,"

he finally said.

"Aiya, I didn't notice you were gone for two hours!?" wwx cried softly, not wanting to startle the baby but also, seriously? He hadn't noticed he was alone in bed for-

"Lan Zhan?" wwx asked seriously when lwj looked away from him, an almost guilty look on

his face. "What is it?"

lwj pressed his lips tightly together for a long moment before finally saying, "wy woke up during the last feeding, about 5 hours ago."

wwx gaped at him. "You- you mean I slept through you coming back to bed AND him waking up crying again?"

"Mn," lwj agreed, sliding down to sit in front of his low, traditional table, the baby immediately beginning to cry. lwj sighed slightly, his eyebrows crinkling together with sleep or frustration or maybe a bit of both.

"Fuc- fu- fudging hell!" wwx cried, twisting in an

aggravated circle. "Did I seriously sleep through you bringing that screaming thing back to bed?" he asked, narrowing his eyes when lwj glanced away suspiciously. "You did try bringing him back to bed, didn't you?"

"Didn't want to wake wy up," lwj grumbled after a long silence.

"lz~" wwx whined, planting his hands on his hips and turning a reprimanding look on his kinda, sorta co-parent. "Dude. No. Stand up, take the upset little dude to bed. See if laying down chills him out, or if he's exhausted enough now to just pass out."

lwj looked up at him

before sighing and pushing himself back up, seamlessly moving from his cross legged position back up without touching a single thing for support. Dude.

"Alright," lwj said, walking back towards the door. "Let's go back to bed."

"No, you go back to bed," wwx said,

rolling his eyes when lwj gave him a ever so slightly confused look, wwx was pretty sure that's what the little crinkle near his mouth meant. "You really expect me to go back to bed when I'm apparently sleeping like a fu- fudging corpse? What if I had rolled over onto the

little guy!" he said, stomping his foot slightly, because he was a child at heart and it was late.

"wy did not move at all while he slept," lwj assured him, using that weird stubborn vibe he was always using to get other students to behave to try and make wwx behave.

It had never worked on him before and it wasn't going to work now, dammit! lwj blinked at him before stepping back, adjusting the baby in his arms, grabbing one of wwx's arms and proceeding to drag him bodily back to the bedroom. "wy may be the big spoon, if he prefers."

"Oh..." wwx said, allowing himself to be towed along. "I guess that works, if you're okay in the middle?"

"Mn," lwj hummed, although it seemed a tad tight, in wwx's humble opinion, which was quickly become increasingly confident in reading the normally quiet, emotionless man.

"Alright," wwx said softly as they stopped in front of lwj's bed.

lwj released wwx's arm to switch on his bedside lamp before kneeling onto the bed to set the little boy down, giving wwx a wonderful view of his ass. wwx tilted his head to the side and watched it wiggle,

blinking sleepily at it before lwj turned back to him, giving him a look that wwx couldn't read. Mystery look.

wwx straightened up and smiled softly at lwj, trying to put on an innocent air. He hadn't been looking, obviously not. "Bedtime?" he asked, before breaking off into

a wide yawn.

"Mn..." lwj hummed, moving off the bed. "I need to use the bathroom first. I will join you shortly."

"Okay~" wwx said as he yawned again, sliding past lwj and into the bed to poke at the crying baby. "Hey there, sweet, screaming little thing. What's up?" he asked,

before nodding and humming and making fake conversation. "Global warming is a serious issue, and- yes, yes, I totally understand and hear your concerns that the world will be a burning inferno or freezing hell by the time you're my age. Yes, it is very upsetting- oh, no, no

sweet boy. Never wish that you weren't born! I know people these days are saying they'll never have kids because of the way the world is going, but we want you here, me and lz. So don't you worry, you'll always have people in this world who love you," he babbled, smiling down at

the swaddled baby who looked up at him like he was both very offended and very touched by wwx's words. At the very least he had stopped crying during wwx's speech. So polite.

"wy," lwj said as he reappeared behind wwx, reaching to switch off the light so fast that wwx barely

had time to catch a glance of lwj's now naked chest. Drat. "I am going to slide over you," he said quietly, pulling the cover back as wwx wiggled backwards to make room between himself and the baby.

He shivered as lwj bare skin passed over him, lwj's hips momentarily pressing

across his own, his hands on either side of wwx's head and his warm breath just barely grazing through wwx's shuddering one before lwj was gently rolling off him, taking his skin and warmth with him-

Wait. wwx was now the big spoon. He could spoon!

He wiggled around anxiously,

trying to control himself until lwj was at least settled on his side before snuggling up behind him. "Is this okay?" he asked, as his arm wrapped around lwj's waist, his other one coming up to do... something. He was probably going to wake up with a sleeping, tingly arm but that

was fine! Snuggling with lwj, with pretty much anyone, honestly, but especially lwj, would be worth the pain!

"Mn..." lwj hummed, his own arm hovering awkwardly over them before finally settling down next to his chest, the fingers of the one he was lying on tentatively brushing

wwx's fingers before sliding their hands together. "Goodnight, wy," he whispered, adding, "Goodnight, little boy," when the baby gurgled unhappily, as though it instinctually knew that lwj had rudely forgotten him.

wwx smiled into lwj's back. "Goodnight, lz. Goodnight,

little one."

~

(A/N: some of that 🔞 content appears...)

The third time wwx woke he was moving, which wasn't right. He was asleep and sleeping people should, generally, not be moving. He groaned quietly, his hand spasming around something warm and hard and very hand like,

this thing tensing slightly in his grasp. Did his pillow generally grab him back? He was pretty sure he'd had a dream about that once. About his pillow gently rocking back into him as he rubbed his morning wood against it. About his pillow being warm and firm and releasing tiny

little gasps as he rubbed against it-

Wait. What.

wwx pulled his head back, cursing quietly as his arm began to sting, blood rushing back into it. He blinked into the morning light at the thing in front of him, which was definitely not his pillow, because his pillow was red

red and this thing was not. This thing was-

wwx squeaked and halted the movement of his hips, halted fucking himself against lwj's lovely ass. lwj's hand moved again as wwx wiggled his hips backwards and then backwards some more when his dick continued trying to reach towards

his bedmate. "Sorry," he murmured softly, hoping that lwj's hand had just randomly moved and the other man was still asleep.

"It is fine," lwj replied. Fuck.

"We should probably figure out a different sleeping arrangement, I guess," wwx sighed. "I'll never be able to sleep

worrying that I'll either kill the kid or... do this, again."

lwj hummed in acknowledgment, his shoulders cracking as he rotated them back... because wwx had been pressed against them and he hadn't wanted to disturb him. Double fuck.

wwx pushed himself up, cringing at how heavy

his arm was, the thing flopping uselessly at his side. "When do you think the kid will-" he began to ask when the kid in question began to cry. "Fuck, did I wake him up?" wwx groaned, trying to smack himself in the head and smacking lwj's instead when his arm barely moved.