Thread by @thatroblennon

Top 7 four-letter words to help you FAIL HARD at growing your following online:

FART - Follow All Rules Tediously

First, you must abide by the rules in this thread if you want to succeed at failing.

If you don't FART, you won't go nowhere.

But if you do FART, your audience-building dreams will never come true.

BIFF - Believe In False Facts Frequently

There are only two Fs in this acronym. Agree?

Good. You're on the right track.

Someone online posted this, so it must be true.

Like, truly true. Truly truly true.

STUN - Stick To Uninteresting Narratives

If you want your content to flop, better stay away from anything of interest to your audience.

Don't tweet about their:
• Frustrations
• Challenges
• Hopes
• Fears
• Desires

And certainly never give knowledge of any value.

FLOP - Forget Listening, Over-Promote

Well, there is one narrative you can stick with if you want to fail: Yourself.

Instead of focusing on your audience, focus on the person in the mirror.

Write for yourself and no one else. That'll work.

THUG - Take it Halfway, Underperform Greatly

Make sure you never complete an idea or get real with your audience.

Don't invest. Don't try. Don't even post every day.

Just do the most basic level of effort so that your occasional post is half-assed. #ThugLyfe

SLED - Show Little Engagement, Disappoint

If somehow you do get comments, don't reply to any of them.

We're failing hard here and we don't want anyone to get the wrong idea like we might care what they have to say.

This one's important.

FLEE - Forget Lasting Engagement Entirely

Honestly, if you SLED well, you may as well FLEE.

If you forget about them entirely, anyone who follows you won't stick around to see what else you have to say.

That's what we call lose-lose.

SNOT - Spend No-time On Teaching

To grow at a negative rate, definitely don't teach people anything useful.

They might like you if you helped them out for free.

And we simply can't have that.

Make sure your content calendar is covered in SNOT.

LOOP - Limit Outreach Opportunities to Passive

Never DM people if your hope is to completely fail on social media.

Only wait for people to message you.

Why?

Well, you tried to JEER (Just Expect Everyone to Respond) and 100% didn't.

So why bother messaging anyone?

There you have it.

To completely fail at audience building, memorize these important acronyms:

• FART
• BIFF
• STUN
• FLOP
• THUG
• SLED
• FLEE
• SNOT
• LOOP

In case English isn't your first language and this was confusing: it's supposed to be sarcastic and funny.

For more advice on audience building, follow me @thatroblennon

And if you had fun and learned something along the way, like/comment/RT

https://twitter.com/thatroblennon/status/1608777678768709632