Thread by @CatherineEdgar

𝟏𝟒/𝟏/𝟏𝟗

Wee bit of a headache, was able to do some mindfulness this morning got through the most I've done since this started.

Recalled the Doors with a little stumble.

I am tired. Heaviness like behind my eyes, different than what it's been. Don't want to be here today.

Tongue is back to being swollen, I'm a bit slow on the uptake today. Memory game - got more of the fours right, none of the six.

Tingling in my left foot today, right side of neck gradually getting sore as the day goes on.

Whatever way I tracked ... as he walked past, got pain

in my right eye, focusing too hard?

Headlights and driving home was difficult, it was misley rain and I couldn't really see past the rain.

Forking memory game drives me nuts 😵 ooooo my neck cracked when I looked left at 19.31 could that be it? Still aches. Sneezing hurts head

but after not during.

𝟏𝟓/𝟏/𝟏𝟗

Bit of a headache today but feeling 'normal'? Under my right eye is sore to touch/rub. Doors all good, tongue seems OK but I do feel battered, dry mouth still.

Just putting some light stuff away, feeling jittery too at 11.23, still getting pressure build up

when I bend down to do something. I'm getting...not dizzy, but an unsteady feeling when I move.

Sharp pain in left side of head, hung around for about a min.

19.21 - jitters in movement back. Right eye twitch is back too.

𝟏𝟔/𝟏/𝟏𝟗

Don't feel awesome, don't feel terrible, not as good as Mon or Tues though.

Pain again when I start brushing my teeth. No headache as such but groggy. I'm feeling what I was doing yest but no headache. Just kept on keeping on today, prob shouldn't have but hey ho.

No major issues today, jittery, tired neck blah blah blah...

Pulse banging in ear.

𝟏𝟕/𝟏/𝟏𝟗

Red HRV. Don't feel great, don't feel awful but feel something. Pain in head this morning, not constant, pain when starting to brush teeth. Heavy eyes, very lethargic. If this is what happens after three days of pottering about, how the hell am I ever gonna get

back to training! I know that if it wasn't for that tablet, I'd prob be like I was two weeks ago.

Some light sensitivity. Feeling a bit deflated I suppose today. Head starting to get noticeably sore. Making stupid mistakes at work. Heavy concentrating day driving to scan, sore

head. [End]

Tablet - antidepressant.

Scan - CT 👇 BECAUSE I had a clear CT scan, I believe I was completely dismissed by my GP. BECAUSE I was wrongly assessed by a neuropsychologist (using acute diagnosis markers, over two years after my injury - I was told I wasn't injured

enough to be treated by him.

While I detest what my manager in @MacBlair5 did from Aug 2020 onwards, his actions up until that point helped me build a recovery foundation.

#BrainInjury #Concussion #PostConcussionSyndrome

It never had to be this way 👇

concussionni.net/recognise/

𝟏𝟖/𝟏/𝟏𝟗

Perfectly balanced this morning, just a bit of neck pain and tiredness, not too much of a headache to worry about.

More mindfulness this morning, slight pain in my head when brushing my teef 😆 all in all, hanging on rightly.

Planning to go to the gym on Sun 🤞

Ehh feeling alright but dropping stuff, processing items wrong, still can't get 6 cards on the memory game. Bit of a headache, I stumbled a wee bit dragging a ladder and it just knocked the side of my face.

Blah blah blah.

𝟏𝟗/𝟏/𝟏𝟗

Wee bit of a headache today but mostly OK. 10 HRV. Dropped my keys.

Was talking to ... about my concussion and I could feel my neck just tense up, how much is this actually stressing me out but I don't realise?

Woke up this morning with two spots, on both cheeks,

same place on each side of my face...

Trying not to get super anxious about tom, worried about causing more damage, how do I not worry about it?

Hear my heart in my left ear again.

𝟐𝟎/𝟏/𝟏𝟗

Just not feeling right today. All I've done is rest and eat shit. My heart keeps pounding in my ear, bit of a headache 🤯😡 need to curtail the shit eating!! I'm gonna try fasting again in the morning.

My eyes hurt with screen time today. Slept this afternoon.

Just not feeling awesome at all.

𝟐𝟏/𝟏/𝟏𝟗

Trying fasting this morning. Bloody cold day to start doing it 😂 so far I've lifted thistlebond, promix and some line marker, feeling quite jittery - think it's the fasting but could just be my 'new normal'.

Some noise sensitivity today, neck ache but no

headache. I don't think I'm pushing myself so here's hoping tomorrow is grand 🤞

Right eye twitch is back this evening. My head feels a bit sore tonight, just a bit into my right side nothing worth worrying about. I did have one overwhelmed moment today with a really smelly guy,

I don't know if it was his stench or the list that he had, that made me feel that way.

𝟐𝟐/𝟏/𝟏𝟗

Feel a bit more normal today, except that pain in my left chest.

Didn't sleep too good.

Feeling a bit 🤢 as of 08.41.

Did a lot of pottering about today, over pulled a pallet and felt a bit dizzy, pressurised (not the right word) cleaned - was up and down.

𝟐𝟑/𝟏/𝟏𝟗

Feeling pretty normal today.

Heavy concentrating while driving in the snow, gave me an ache in my head but nothing to be concerned about. Docs in the morning again.

I'm pretty tired today but I'll just potter about 😊 got rather jittery after lifting the

brickettes.

Feeling really overstimulated for about 2 hrs now 11.35.

𝟐𝟒/𝟏/𝟏𝟗

Felt really like a rabbit in the headlights since I came into work, at break time. Just bang bang bang person after person, my right eye got sore again, I've taken cocodamol and ibuprofen.

What a horrible overstimulated day, way too much going on and my brain was

not happy. My neck is sore, just an over busy day of feeling terribly uncomfortable in my own skin 😔 just a horrible, terrible day.

I think I now have tinnitus 👍 [End]

Tinnitus - Yip, started only in my right ear, a high pitched noise (I don't know how to describe it), and after my recent concussion, is now in both ears. Constantly.

When I do too much, it invades everything and gets difficult to cope with. Yay.

𝟐𝟓/𝟏/𝟏𝟗

COMPLETE OVERSTIMULATION THIS MORNING I CAN'T STOP MY BRAIN!!!!

I'm not so much rabbit in the headlights like yesterday but gee whizz, I feel not buzzy but there's energy everywhere 🥺 it's unnerving and I know if I can't ease it, I'ma wind up with a killer

headache like yesterday and KNACKERED!

My heart rate is grand I think, it's my head 🥺 I feel like there's some part of me that's inside screaming with...not excitement but bursting with energy and I'm trying to keep it from getting out, I'm fighting against myself 😧

why am I trying to stop it from getting out? Ah man WHAT IS GOING ON?? 😧 😫 I don't understand why this is happening, I can't control it or stop it...

My frickin right eye twitch is back again.

18.45 - ears are ringing. [End]

Overstimulation can happen at any moment but generally, I have enough gumption about me now to know when I need to exit from the situation before I get to the point of panic or crying.

I get overstimulated by conversation, light, noise, weather, movement, crowds, too much

concentration, snow (very bright, walking in it and driving while it is falling knocks me off kilter - so I avoid it (avoidance behaviour - yay) and I can't think of any thing else right now.

My/your brain is amazing 😍 it is also a HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS when it is misfiring.

𝟐𝟔/𝟏/𝟏𝟗

Feeling pretty terrible today, headache, some nausea and defo noise sensitivity blah blah blah 😫🤪😑 no way in hell am I going tonight.

I got 6 cards tonight, didn't get 7 😂

𝟐𝟕/𝟏/𝟏𝟗

Didn't go training. As the morning has went on, my head has got more sore and I'm worried about being at work tom.

I'm feeling good just being lazy on the sofa!

I need to deal with my own feelings about my bonce...what I did was a temporary blip in my progress as

an athlete and coach, it hurts my head thinking this 🤔 you will rise again. Be patient with yourself. Be patient with others. Don't be so hard on yourself and those that show concern.

Jeez why does this hurt my head?!

𝟐𝟖/𝟏/𝟏𝟗

Training today - bit of a sore neck this morning, keep going over what I did yesterday but still feeling no remorse or emotion towards it heh.

The only way to describe how I feel tonight is I close my eyes and I'm on the edge of nothingness. Black. Nothing.

It's a resistance like when I walk and carry at the same time, something is saying eh this isn't right, is it confusion?

Neck got really sore, hard to get to sleep, I decided that coming home and going straight to bed is the best option if I want to go to the gym, so rest rest

rest.

Remember I can get off the sofa easier now.

𝟐𝟗/𝟏/𝟏𝟗

Training today - driving in the falling snow sent my brain into an electrical frenzy, tried to concentrate on tress n shit and Celine Dion... 😶 to bring focus, breathing deeper blah blah blah it actually worked maybe 5-6 mins to regain clarity - not the right word

but to relax all the 'energy' firing everywhere, it's fucking exhausting!

Left side of head starting to get sore at 11.11 - quite busy so it's coming from my eyes I guess...need to start doing saccadic again.

Yea, still sore at lunch time lifted too much today.

I don't know what hurts me more is it the brain power that it takes to do it and get everything working or the actual lifting?

Learned I now have BO, thanks a fucking bunch brain! 🤬 I stopped using any underarm deodorant over a year ago wtf?!

Went to gym, was a good session

no 'confusion' like last night, just push, pull and bike. Balance on Cossack squat is questionable 🙄 feel better than I did last night when I got home.

My heart is pounding in my left ear 20.41. Eh my head isn't sore tonight could it be that the more I concentrate, the more

pain I have??

Hands twitching a bit in bed, same last night. [End]

BO - body odour. Before I hit my head, I used as little chemicals on my skin as possible and had no need to apply deodorants or antiperspirants to my skin.

aor.ca/concussions-an…

I'm reading this like 🥺training two days in a row and working... my heart hurts for myself. Before my recent one - I was still unable to train on consecutive days, I just could not do it. My brain hurt like hell.

It never needed to be this way.

concussionni.net/manage/

𝟑𝟎/𝟏/𝟏𝟗

No training - woke at 03.00ish with a killer headache and noise sensitivity 🤕 not a good day to be alive.

Pain when starting to brush teeth again.

Snow driving takes a lot of concentration 😩 not feeling great at all, maybe nausea too...

Starting to feel

better after lunch, but still not great. Man idk... walking like I'm pulling to the left again.

𝟑𝟏/𝟏/𝟏𝟗

No training today, still a bit of a headache, pain when starting to brush teeth.

Feel better than yesterday but not by much. Balance is bit off this morning - when lifting paint, standing up I wobbled a couple of times. Feel a bit absent today. V tired blah blah

blah blah blah 😑 🖕

𝟏/𝟐/𝟏𝟗

This morning, I've been seeing the world move when I've been standing still 🤬 not fucking happy.

Woke up to pee at 04.40 with a bit of headache and it's still hanging around. Not impressed at all today 🖕 got quite a few shooting pains in my head for about 5 mins, I

was seeing sparkles at one point. Am really tired tonight.

Neck pain - 4, dizziness - 4, balance problems - 4, sens to sound - 4, don't feel right - 5, difficulties remembering - 5, fatigue - 6.

Got very jittery while messaging ... and ... how can you have so much energy

rushing through your body but be so tired?! [End]

Sparkles - 'seeing stars', unfortunately for me, as I had no treatment or help from my GP, these very obvious and very serious signals of my injury became my 'normal' - I just kept going because I didn't know any different causing more damage as I went.

When I 'see stars' now I

recognise it as the most severe warning it is and I know to stop - pause my life, do nothing, stare at a wall and try to keep myself alive while fighting my own image in the mirror because "you look fine".

The symptom rating, I think I found online, can't be sure where.

𝟐/𝟐/𝟏𝟗

Think I'm starting to see better in the dark again 🤔 feel pretty good this morning, can tell the last few days has 'lifted'. I think this morning I'd be 0 on the symptom list 😊 Well, I wobbled a bit making my bed and dropped things but that's OK 😉

AGGGHHHH QUEASY IS THE WORD!! FINALLY!! Having concentration issues this morning, over stimulated a bit I think, when I go to do something on the computer I get a rush of thoughts that confuse what I'm trying to do, maybe forgetful in the moment...feeling nausea at screen time.

Rapid pain shooting in left side of head just like yesterday, lasted about 10 secs - too much happening?

I'm gonna not take that tablet today 😊 really tired and yawnny when shopping, the sunlight was hard to handle today.

Frickin knackered 😴 17.24 - need to work on saccadic

eye movement, the rabbit is too fast 🙄 the word that I remembered earlier has gone again, I'm sitting trying to remember it - blank - nothing, no clue, no idea, I remember it begins with a 'd' but that is it, nothing.

17.33 - QUEASY - forking hell, I remembered it in the bath.

Been consistently sighing a lot tonight 😴 ache in my head when I started brushing my teeth again.

Coloured in for an hour, gave myself a bit of an eye ache 😑

Didn't take the tablet, will do every other day for two weeks then every 3? [End]

Tablet - Citalopram. Part of my 'mistreatment' was my Dr telling me it was 'OK' to come off the antidepressant (it's in my notes) that I had only been taking since the 7 Jan. This had serious consequences for me and should not have happened.

My memory works under the mantra of

"when it's gone, it's gone". I get no 'prompts' to help me work my way towards finding the thing I am trying to remember - it's a void.

My most recent 'void' was in my Social Policy exam where I could not remember anything related to Cohen's theory of crime, I wrote 'prompts'

at the beginning of the exam (Cohen, subcultural, status) thinking I would be able to connect the dots but those words were meaningless to me - I just could not remember what those words meant.

There is nothing that I can do to 'fix' that - it still won't stop me.

𝟑/𝟐/𝟏𝟗

Parp!! Bored of doing this today 🙄 uh woke up 10, booked OG, head is getting a bit achy. Gonna roll with it all 🤞 heart pounding in my left ear. Maybe some noise sensitivity today. Pain in head when starting to brush teeth.

Feel like I'm walking like a pup with

socks on today. Aiming for 20mins of bike and low box step-ups.

Gym - 20 mins - 5 bike, 5 box step-up and 10 min warm up. Felt quite drunk talking to ... after, head is still achy.

Maybe a bit irritated now - tablet day.

Getting out of car and bending down to get cat food in

shop, sharp pain in head. Twitchy finder time 14.20.

Had weird taste in my mouth from last night, kinda like a sweet sour thing I think. [End]

"woke up 10" - HRV.

Bored of keeping track of my symptoms as I am bored of posting them here 🤷‍♀️ however, I committed myself to doing it to raise awareness of unnecessary and avoidable suffering.

It never needed to be this way 👇

concussionni.net/recognise/

𝟒/𝟐/𝟏𝟗

Woke up with a wee bit of a sore head, feel a bit blah but it's gonna be a good day! Pain in head when starting to brush teeth. Was really slow at getting going today but feeling good now 10.20.

Putting trims away got easier the longer I was up and down but looking

up is still an issue - neck related?

TODAY I have put away paint AND beech logs 😀😀 I was slow this morning but I feel quite solid now, my neck is a bit sore, I'll massage it out if I remember later 👌 hopefully I get no adverse symptoms tom 🤞 putting away sand, was getting a

bit woozy so I've quit while I was ahead. Need to work on sideways movement, turning while carrying and dragging and pushing.

Surprised myself today 😀 I'm pretty tired tonight but I think I can say...o'er yonder...there's light at the end of the tunnel 😎🤞 right eye twitch.

No tablet today.

𝟓/𝟐/𝟏𝟗

It's gonna be an awesome day today!!! AND I'm going training tonight 💪 maybe some light sensitivity today, a wee bit of a headache, forgot to do my neck AGAIN!

Training tonight, tablet day, hopefully no painkillers today, it's gonna be a great day 😊

Oh yea, woke

up again to pee, this time it was frickin unicorn and clown teddy's, sat on the toilet with two yellow cat eyes staring at me, couldn't wake from it properly - really awesome to be awake but still in dream land but freaky as fork when you can't snap out of it - hypnopompic

hallucinations apparently.

Bit more jittery when kneeling down, getting up and moving stuff today, maybe coordination is off a bit after yesterday.

My head has been gradually getting sorer, cocodamol at 11.45. Feel myself getting more irritated/over stimulated too 🙄 right eye

twitch is back.

... asked me about a conversation we had yesterday and I have no recollection of it ...at all, nothing.

Tablet today. Sitting in the office for just under an hour concentrating, has busted my head.

Went to gym anyway.

Kinda understand why folk just give up

after this shit, the way I'm feeling tonight...suicide and the gym.

The noise was getting really loud by the end of my 30 mins.

My eye twitch is flickering away...rather emotional again. Keep forgetting what I'm watching. [End]

I was almost three months in at this point, and noticeably, it was the first of many times that my brain wanted me to die.

𝟔/𝟐/𝟏𝟗

Feeling really tired today, trying not to feed into the sympathetic nervous system shit, trying to stay peaceful and calm.

Coffee probably isn't the best thing to achieve that but oh well! Fuck it!!

I do feel emotionally strong and peaceful today but drained, like

a void, like there's nothing there to feel. It's calming and weird. I'm present but not.

I'm getting more overstimulated as the day goes on - do I take a tablet or ride it out?

I've gotten better by lunch time, not sure what the crack was earlier, not taking the tablet. Just

another brain fart.

Right eye twitch coming through again 🙄 don't feel so awesome at all today.

𝙉𝙚𝙪𝙧𝙤𝙥𝙨𝙮𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝘽𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙖 (screenshot).

Unstable weird sour bitter taste appeared 21.44.

𝟕/𝟐/𝟏𝟗

Woke up at 02.34 with headache. Seen some weird rotating wheels just spinning in the middle of the room but managed to pull myself out of it.

Gee whizz my toast tastes awesome this morning 😍 I am feeling good right now, booked in to OG, hopefully I cope better with

it tomorrow than I did yesterday.

Having issues holding on to small things today. Really shaky hands trying to open my pistachios at 10.14, coffee maybe? But didn't have coffee earlier...

Hit my head a wee bit.

Tablet today. I'm feeling good, trying to avoid feeding into

the headache stuff, don't really want to take ibuprofen today but so far so good.

Seen a lil aura 14.32, 33.13 mins in gym - defo felt the fatigue. If you'd have said to me a year ago, I'd have felt more comfortable in work than I do in CrossFit, I'd have told you to fork off,

I feel really isolated there now and like I don't fit in, you say hello to folk and they just ignore you 😔 ...did I ever. My head and neck got sore. [End]

Aura = my then 'normal' migraine warning, I have suffered with them from early in my teens. I'd give anything to have my 'normal' migraine headaches back, at least I knew that they would stop.

𝟖/𝟐/𝟏𝟗

Not sure how I'm feeling today, I know I'm a bit over stimulated right now, trying not to be. Trying to think calm and happy thoughts 😔

I am tires, like an over trained tired though 🤔 pressure in head getting up from kneeling down 😣 getting shooting pains in left

side 11.03 cocodamol 12.00.

Right eye twitch is back, felt every fucking bump in the road on the way home 🤬 couldn't remember what HRV measures when talking to ... 😒 parp!

I A.M WRECKED 😴😴 pretty empty tonight 🤯 right eye twitch blah forking blah. Sadness vs depression.

Head sore when starting to brush teeth tonight, how is that a symptom??? Forked if I know.

𝟗/𝟐/𝟏𝟗

Slept forever, had another floating lion when I got up to pee. Just one point better than yesterday so not gyming it, bit of a headache. Might start a blog about this shit, people are lost just like me and my 'knowledge' might help.

Trouble reading today, fuzzy/

flicky vision, same when colouring in 🙄 wasn't quite right today but hey ho.

𝟏𝟎/𝟐/𝟏𝟗

3 MONTHS TODAY 😒 feels like years... Buuut I feel pretty good this morning dare I say 'NORMAL' 😮 I'm going to the gym today.

33mins - 5 row, 5 step-ups - felt stronger and less wobbly on one leg, there was a few wobbles like and my head *was sore sore going/neck

started to get sore but not worth paracetamol.

Was tidying my bedroom and my head told me to stop, sharp pain shit through right side, I didn't stop 🖕 did take paracetamol though 😜

Feeling nauseous with screen time, I'm done for the day 🤢 did about a min of saccadic.

Right eye twitch, ibuprofen taken, flicky vision, right side of head sore 😣 SHOULD HAVE STOPPED!!! 🤬

Pain in my head when I started brushing my teeth again tonight.

Think my headache was caused by me jumping up this morning when I heard the cat open the kitchen door, the gym

exacerbated it like but I think the dizzy woozy pressure, after doing that, started it. I've forgotten something. [End]

* - Missing word

IF, you sustain a concussion and STILL have symptoms, don't be like Cat ❌ don't go to the gym despite them.

I can't say anything about my lack of insight and attributing symptoms to other things 🤷‍♀️ 🤕 #BrainInjury

👇

concussionni.net/recognise/