Thread by @wwx_lwj_ai_ni

Saw this on fb and it gave me an idea. So, I'm attempting a thread.

"Break It 'til You Make It!" - a #WangXian au

I'm imagining a scenario where WWX has a DIY channel where he does shit like this to his house while he learns:

Meanwhile LWJ, a man who /actually/ knows what he's doing, hate-watches the channel

(until he finds himself love-watching it)

WWX has mentioned in the past where he lives and it turns out they're in the same city

LWJ used to fantasize about running into WWX somewhere someday and chewing him out about his reckless projects

Won't somebody please think of the resale value?!

One day, he sees the above video and it finally breaks him

LWJ messages him like "please let me fix this" and WWX is like "lolll sure! But /only/ if i can make a video out of it"

LWJ agrees because it's free advertising for his business without the need to network *shudder* and not at all because WWX smiles as bright as the sun

WWX is delighted to learn about the existence of something called a "stud finder" and eagerly tests it out :

WWX: "So I just press this button and move it around?"
LWJ: "It has to be flush with the wall."

WWX: *waving it around in the air* "Hm... Oh? Wait! I think I got something!" *holds it up to LWJ* "Beep beep beep! It works! Looks like I found a stud!"
LWJ: *ears turning bright red* "The tool does not beep when it locates a stud. A red light turns on."

WWX: "I beg to differ. Viewers at home, you all heard that beeping right? It was beeping like mad!"

LWJ: "You should not mislead your viewers."

WWX: "Who says I'm misleading them? They're obviously all smart people since they decided to tune into my channel," *WWX winks at the camera* "they can decide for themselves!"

LWJ: *gives him a pointed look*

WWX: "Hahaha what's that look? Of course I have the smartest and most beautiful viewers in the world! You're a viewer too, aren't you?"

LWJ: *ears turn more red and he clears his throat* "Please allow me to show you how to use this tool correctly."

WWX: "You can show me anything you want, Stud."

LWJ: "..."

WWX: "..." *hands stud finder back over to LWJ* "...BEEP! Oh wow, you guys definitely heard it that time, right?!"

Anyway it's such a hit that it becomes a recurring segment once a month where WWX gets LWJ to come in and fix all his failed DIY projects he's been up to

And eventually viewers start to notice little things like a second toothbrush in WWX's bathroom while he's attempting to build his own medicine cabinet, or that he seems to have a helper with a very steady hand working the camera as he films his next creative disaster

Until one day WWX posts a "temporary hiatus" video where he explains he won't be uploading anything new for the next few weeks because he's going on his honeymoon!

But stay tuned because after that there will be a BIG project announcement!

WWX: "Lan Zhan! My most devoted viewer!"

LWJ: "Mn."

WWX: "Thank you for being here for the big announcement!"

LWJ: "Of course, Wei Ying." *still smiling like the smitten little kitten he is*

WWX: "You're actually a big part of this next project, huh? And not just because you're going to fix all my mistakes, right?"

LWJ: "Indeed. I'd like to think of us as equal partners in this and all future endeavors."

WWX: "Me too." *smiles back equally obviously in love* "Okay, viewers! Drumroll please! Our next big project is............ A NURSERY!"

LWJ: *somehow managing to look even more in love than he was 5 seconds ago* "Mn."

WWX: "Surprise! This guy married me!" *shows off his and LWJ's matching rings* "And we're expecting!"

LWJ: "--the adoption to be finalized shortly."

WWX: "Exactly! And we've gotta get this place ready for the little guy, so stay tuned for our busiest season yet! I'll try my best to break as much as possible!"

LWJ: "You mean you'll try your best /not/ to break as much as possible."

WWX: "Yep! That sure is what you think I meant!"

LWJ: "Wei Ying..." *looks delightfully exasperated*

*end of video*

And they live happily ever after. The end.

Extra things I added in the tags on tmblr:

- yes they lived together for like 6 months before they started the adoption process & got hitched because they're #WangXian

- they actually showed incredible restraint by dating for 6 months before starting to live together as well

- lwj was ready to load up the u-haul at the first beep of wwx's "stud finder" lol

- "he called me a 'stud.' i accept this courting gesture from my future husband & co-father of my children" - #LanWangji probably

- "how many things can i break around here b4 this house becomes structurally unsound? i need more reasons to see lan zhan" - #WeiWuxian definitely

- ^ that stage actually lasted like 3 months of the world's most awkward renovation-based flirting before they finally started dating

- so really this adoption has been a long time coming in #WangXian-years lol

Also available here: wwx-lwj-ai-ni.tumblr.com/post/707203621…