Thread by @jems_hopes

#vhopeau drabble

--where hoseok, who is visiting his parents on their farm, answers the door to find his boyfriend of almost a year standing there holding a rubber duck and a potted plant.

https://twitter.com/MightBeKellyAO3/status/1617916169096425472

when hoseok wakes, he finds the fields are encrusted with frost and the morning chill has seeped through the flagstones of kitchen floor. through the back window of the old farmhouse, he can see his father checking on the cows and his mother collecting eggs from the chicken

hutch.

it's peaceful out here, far away from the chaos and smog of the city. the sky is bright blue, the only sound between it and the horizon the rush of the wind and the faint clamour of the animals.

he potters around the kitchen, preparing coffee and breakfast for when

his parents come back inside. he gets the frying-pan down from its hook on the ceiling, fills up the kettle.

half an hour later, the kitchen smells of boiled rice and he's just thinking of going into the attic to check his messages--it's the only place for miles that he can

get any reception and he hasn't messaged taehyung in days--when something out the window catches his eye. he has to wipe the steam off the window to see clearly what's going on.

his father, whose morning routine is about as immovable as a mountain, is standing stock still in

the middle of his field of cows, staring at something out of hoseok's line of sight. hoseok watches him for a few minutes and sighs. maybe the postman is late again and his father has decided to give him the evil eye in the hopes it'll make him pick up the pace.

he's just buttering himself toast, really wishing he'd packed slippers--or that he owns a pair of slippers--when the doorbell rings. maybe it really is the postman his father's watching like a hawk. the postman is the only person who rings the doorbell around here.

all his parents friends let themselves in the few rare times they come over.

he carries on buttering his toast and is just taking his first bite when the bell rings again, followed by a series of hurried taps of the door-knocker.

"hold on a sec!" he calls, taking the pot of rice off the hob.

the knocking doesn't stop. it only gets louder, harsher.

"i'm coming! i'm coming!" did his dad order something that needs signing for? if so, his evil eye must have really freaked the postman out.

toast in his mouth, he takes the seven steps down the hall and yanks the front door open. "sorry, i was--oh my god. oh my god."

"hey," taehyung says faintly.

he's standing on the old front porch, dressed in what looks like every warm layer he's ever owned.

there are worry-lines around his mouth, stamped across his forehead, and under his eyes heavy shadows hang like smudges of coal dust. he looks like he hasn't slept all night and hoseok doesn't have to hug him to smell day old sweat and stale bus and train seats.

"oh my god," hoseok says again, floorboards creaking as he steps outside, closing the door behind him to keep in the little heat the house has. it's his job to light the fire to warm the house while he's here and well, he woke up late, so that hasn't happened yet.

"honey, w-what are you doing here?" he asks softly, taking taehyung's cold face in his free hand. the end of his nose is red, nipped by the wind. "what are you doing here with a..." he surveys the objects in taehyung's arms, laughing, "rubber duck and a pot plant?"

taehyung hangs his head, sucking in a shaky breath, and shrugs. "don't know. missed you," he mumbles.

"hey," hoseok murmurs, lifting taehyung's face. he gives him a soft, quick kiss, grimaces. taehyung tastes about as good as he smells.

he steps back, taking in taehyung's appearance once more, concern twisting in his gut. "are you okay?"

"um..." taehyung's lips quiver. he hugs his pot plant tighter--it's the one off his windowsill in his kitchen. "well... i was... and then... he was... and the man... and

they told me... and it was a week... and i was... and i can't... and i'm not... and i should have... but i didn't and now i'm... and i need... and they told me... and it's just left a message... and we were... and my stuff... and i'm..." he looks ready to tear his own hair out,

ready to cry as he sucks his bottom lip into his mouth and takes a shuddering breath and says, "you know how when i lost my job i said i had enough in my bank account to last me about five months, so i'd be fine. well, it was one month and i'm not fine."

"what?" hoseok blurts, almost dropping his toast. "what do you mean you're not fine?"

"can you hold these?"

taehyung shoves the plant pot and the rubber duck at him and hoseok takes them, mouth working silently.

eight pockets. taehyung goes through eight pockets before he

pulls out a handful of scrunched up papers. he shoves those at hoseok too, trying to switch them for the rubber duck and the plant pot. the rubber duck hits the porch and bounces down the steps, and taehyung, clutching the plant pot, chases after it.

by the time he's back up

the steps, hoseok has unfolded the papers and can't believe what he's seeing. "honey... taehyungie... these are eviction notices..."

taehyung nods. the three hats he's wearing are slipping to the side. "yeah."

he can feel a headache coming on. he needs coffee. he needs more than two bites of toast to be able to process this. "there's four of them, taehyungie! why wouldn't you tell me? why..." oh god, no, he really can't do this. he presses the papers to his face, breathing hard.

"why didn't you tell me? taehyungie, this says you had to be out of the apartment yesterday. do you realise my parents are here? my parents! taehyungie, you can't just show up here! they don't even know about us! i only just told them i'm gay.

they are not ready to know i have a boyfriend. i think mum almost had a heart attack when i said she wasn't getting a daughter in law! i only just--why do you have a duck and a plant?"

taehyung gives a tiny shrug, staring hard at the floor. "i don't know. i was going to pack.

but i ended up picking up my plant because you bet me i'd let it die and well, i want to win the bet. and this duck was a present from mum. i've had it since i was three. and i got on a bus and then a train and another bus. and i didn't know where to go so i came here."

hoseok blinks, utterly at a loss. "w-wh-why are you wearing your entire wardrobe?"

"i knew it was going to be cold here and i don't have a suitcase. and i wasn't thinking clearly and i forgot i owned a backpack."

hoseok shoves the papers into his back pocket. if he’s lucky, he has another hour until his parents come back to the house, assuming his father doesn’t come over early to see what’s going on with the crazy, over-dressed man he’s just seen walking up the driveway with a childs

bath-toy.

jesus, what a first impression taehyung makes.

“i’m really sorry,” taehyung says thickly. “i-i didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

he looks pathetically out towards the fields, pressing his lips together hard in that way he does right before the tears come.

his shoulders shake. “hyungie, i don’t know what to do. i don’t have anywhere to go. i-i tried to call, but you don’t have any reception.”

hoseok runs a hand through his hair, feeling torn and horrible. there’s no question of how this is going to go, but he has so many

questions that he doesn’t know where to begin. lamely, he holds up his toast. “have you eaten?” taehyung isn’t talking like a taehyung who’s eaten anything in the last twenty-four hours.

taehyung shakes his head and accepts the toast hoseok pushes at his mouth.

they stand there until hoseok has fed him every last crumb of it, then hoseok sighs.

“come in. i’ll get you something else. you must be starving.”

he holds the door open, waiting.

“you’re angry with me,” taehyung says quietly, and wipes his mouth on his mittened hand.

“pretty much, yeah,” hoseok says. he touches taehyung’s arm softly, heart fluttering at the tears brimming in taehyung’s eyes. “come inside. i’ll get you a proper meal. i love you,” he adds.

taehyung nods, face beginning to pucker. “i love you too,” he whimpers. “i’m sorry. i

don’t have to stay here. i can go somewhere—“

“no, taehyungie… honey… it’s…” he hesitates just short of saying ‘okay.’ “what’s done is done. just… come in. you need to sleep and change and have a shower and brush your teeth. i’m going to make you tea and breakfast.”

he’s not going to get any proper answers out of taehyung like this and the last thing he has the energy for is a fight in full earshot of his parents in the freezing cold. he’s been dating taehyung almost a year. it’s high time he told his parents about his relationship.

does this mean he’s going to? jesus. maybe. but it isn’t exactly on his bucket list this year. it’s been hard enough for them having a gay son, but a gay son with a boyfriend?

“this was a bad idea,” taehyung says. “i’m going to go. i-i’ll—“

hoseok catches him by the wrist.

“taehyungie, honey… you’re running on like eight coffees. have you slept at all? just come inside. i don’t think my parents will even notice we’re dating, you look like a crazy old cat lady or something.“

he wraps an arm around taehyung’s shoulders and pulls him inside firmly. shoes off, up the stairs to the guest bedroom. he sits taehyung on the bed and undresses him, folding up each item of clothing neatly as he goes. he really does think tae might have worn his entire wardrobe.

he runs his fingers through taehyung’s hair, a wild unruly tangle. then he gives in and brushes it.

“wear these,” he says, and gives taehyung some clothes out of his suitcase.

he takes taehyung to the bathroom next and makes him brush his teeth twice.

“there won’t be any hot water for a few hours—water’s heated when we light the fire downstairs—but when it’s hot you can have a bath.”

it’s weird going through his taehyung routine in a house that isn’t his own. usually when tae comes to him in a state, he has everything

prepared, everything he knows sets taehyung’s mind at ease. here, there’s no camomile tea or the fluffy blanket he wraps tae in or tae’s favourite snacks. they can’t watch dumb netflix shows because his parents aren’t interested in owning a tv. or having wifi. or internet.

all they have is a stupid landline and the house is still cold because he needs to light the fire like they’re in the stone age.

taehyung eats the breakfast hoseok lays out for him quietly, tipping the hot chocolate hoseok made him.

he’s looking and smelling marginally more presentable now. if it weren’t for his haunted looking eyes and the pasty sleepless look to his face, he’d be normal.

hoseok gets the fire lit while he eats, chopping the wood with more force then usual to make himself feel a little

better. weirdly enough, it works. that is, until he looks over at taehyung and is confronted with the fact this isn’t all some bizarre dream.

all he’d wanted was to get away from the city for a week or two, disconnect from everything. and now all he can think about is the ticking of the clock and how each tick means they’re one second closer to his parents coming through the back door and he hasn’t even

thought of what he’s going to say to them yet. his mind is blank and it’s been blank ever since taehyung explained about the rubber duck.

he makes himself a coffee and drinks it in three mouthfuls, burning his tongue and gums.

then he sits beside taehyung and waits. and waits. and waits.

“why didn’t you tell me?” he asks when it seems like taehyung isn’t going to speak ever again.

taehyung just shakes his head.

frustration and confusion lash out. “then what? why? why wouldn’t you tell me you’re broke and going to be homeless, taehyungie? i-i could have helped. i could have lent you money or just given it to you.”

taehyung looks at him with big, frightened eyes, and a tear

slips down his face. “i don’t know. i just thought i’d find a job sooner and it would go away.”

hoseok’s heart clenches and instinctively he reaches for taehyung’s hands, placing his own over them where tae holds his mug. “did i make you feel like you couldn’t tell me?”

taehyung’s face crumples and he does something that’s between a nod and a shake of the head that hoseok doesn’t know how to interpret. tears streak down his cheeks, taking a days worth of travel-grime with them. he cries in great, heaving, exhausted gasps.

“i-i don’t want you to break up with me. i-i-i’m stupid. i don’t have anywhere to go. i love you. please don’t leave me. p-please.”

hoseok glances out the window to see if either of his parents are in a position to see inside and immediately hates himself for his hesitation.

he shifts his chair closer and wraps his arms around taehyung tightly. this is all so surreal, he can still barely process it. he hadn’t thought of breaking up with taehyung, but now a part of his brain is almost saying why not? taehyung didn’t trust him. what are they if

they can’t be honest with each other?

“i love you too. i’m not going anywhere,” he murmurs. he means it. with all his heart. “it’s okay, honey. i’m not going anywhere.”

a painful sound forces itself from taehyung’s throat. “i don’t know where my stuff is. i-i don’t know what

they’ve done with it. i ju-just left it all there.”

he threads his fingers through taehyung’s hair. “stuff can be replaced. if it’s gone, we’ll get new stuff.”

“i-i don’t have any money. i-i don’t have anywhere—i’m homeless.”

“i’m not going to make you live on the streets,

honey. you can stay with me. we’ll find you a job and a new place to live. it’s okay.”

“i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have come here. i’m sorry i didn’t tell you, i was just so embarrassed and i thought i could fix it by myself.”

“taehyungie…”

“i-i know the whole point of having

a boyfriend is so i don’t have to fix stuff by myself. i’m so stupid. i-i’m gonna tell you all the things from now on. ju-just please don’t go.”

hoseok bites back what he truly wants to say. that taehyung wouldn’t be in this situation to begin with if he’d just been

honest with hoseok. he has a feeling taehyung knows that. it doesn’t need to be said.

he pulls back and kisses taehyung’s forehead softly, breathing him in although he still stinks of travel. “it’s okay.” he dries taehyung’s eyes, smoothing away the furrows in his brow with

his thumb.

he thinks of the first time he met taehyung, taehyung almost knocking him into the road in his hurry. he’d been wearing jeans that looked like they were falling apart and a hoodie covered in stains. his hair hadn’t been brushed then either and he’d been buzzing

on so much coffee it was on the verge of giving him an anxiety attack.

he doesn’t know what made him ask taehyung out exactly. taehyung, most of the time, looks like he’s just about to go through a mental breakdown. he supposes he’d just liked taehyung’s softness.

his big soft clumsy taehyung who struggles to take care of himself and struggles to hold down a job. his taehyung, who has been trying not to drink so much coffee because it makes him have heart palpitations.

he rubs taehyung’s chest gently, moving up over his collarbone to

his shoulder. there’s always one particular spot that hurts there when taehyung gets especially stressed.

“i-it’s just so hard, you know?” taehyung sniffles. “i w-was getting it together. and then they fired me and it ma-made me feel so small. i-i just didn’t want you to

know i’d fucked up again. i want you to be able to rely on me for stuff and not just me rely on you. like i want to cook you food and make sure your clothes are washed.”

“honey, you do cook me food and make sure my clothes are washed,” hoseok laughs softly.

he kisses taehyung’s temple, then his cheek, tasting salt.

“you do it all the time for me,” taehyung mumbles, leaning into hoseok’s embrace.

“yeah,” hoseok whispers. he’s aware of how much he takes care of taehyung. mainly because otherwise taehyung doesn’t do a

very good job of it himself. it’s not as though hoseok does everything for him, but if taehyung leaves clothes on the floor then hoseok picks them up and washes them. if taehyung’s forgotten to tidy away a half eaten plate of food, hoseok does it so things don’t go

mouldy. if taehyung comes out of his bedroom wearing a dirty shirt, hoseok kisses him and laughs and tells him to go change into something clean. taehyung functions in a heightened state of stress most of the time. he’s forgetful and spontaneous.

his emotions come in waves heavier than other peoples, sometimes to the point they make it hard for him to do things other people do easily. he’s a lot to handle, if hoseok is honest, but he doesn’t mind handling him. it’s worth it for when taehyung smiles at him and

gives him head massages when he’s sick. for when taehyung makes him dinner and listens to him talk about his problems. taehyung likes to kiss his chin and taehyung likes to fall asleep with him on the couch and hear about the dumb things jungkook did at work that day.

"come here," he murmurs, pulling tae in for a kiss. "look on the bright side. you're gonna meet my parents and that's going to make getting evicted seem amazing."

"oh," taehyung says. the idea doesn't seem to amuse him like it does hoseok. "oh, i'm gonna meet your parents.

i'm a mess. i can't meet them like this. they'll hate me. oh, um... oh... are we... friends or... boyfriends...? to them. i can be either. people never believe anyone would date me anyway."

hoseok glances out the window again. his mother is checking on the lambs.

she probably can't see inside from here with the angle of the sun. "well... my dad owns a shotgun, so it's really up to you," he says.

"what?" taehyung blurts, looking positively terrified. "are you serious?"

hoseok nods gravely. "yeah, he uses it for hunting foxes."

"but... but he wouldn't... he wouldn't... with me, right?" taehyung squeaks.

hoseok counts to five in his head, watching taehyung search his face. then he grins. "no, you're safe. he might threaten you with it a bit, though."

"hyung!"

"you don't have to worry, honey,"

hoseok says, "it's very unlikely he'll waste a bullet on you. he's always talking about how expensive they are."

"you're not funny," taehyung mutters, relaxing into hoseok's arms. he rests his head on hoseok's shoulder.

"do you really think i'd have let you come inside

if i thought he'd shoot you?" hoseok chuckles, kissing the top of tae's head. "even if he did, his eyesight is pretty bad these days, so he'd probably miss."

"stop it," taehyung whines.

"consider it your punishment," hoseok murmurs.

“you’re mean,” taehyung says. “you know i’m no good with jok—“

the telltale creak of the back door being opened sounds from the hallway, cutting him off mid-sentence. for a moment, they’re frozen in each other’s arms, then taehyung sits up, running his hands through his hair.

he wipes his face, puts his hands in his lap, on the table, in his lap again, around his mug of hot chocolate.

hoseok doesn’t give himself time to begin hyperventilating. he just stands and begins clearing away taehyung’s empty bowls.

he’s stacking them to be washed when his father walks inside, closely followed by his mother, who is carrying a lamb in her arms, one of the weaker ones that had been struggling with the cold.

“you should get us if someone comes over, hoseok-ah,” his mother says, putting the lamb on the dog bed she’d set up for it by the fire. “we might have kept this young man waiting forever if your dad hadn’t seen him walking up the track. dear, has he offered you a drink?”

taehyung lifts his hot chocolate, blinking shyly. “yeah. it’s nice.”

she smiles, dusting herself off. “people don’t usually visit this early. we’re a bit unprepared. haven’t even fed all the animals yet. what can we do for you?”

taehyung glances at hoseok nervously. “um…”

hoseok walks back to the table on numb legs. they’ve barely had a chance to discuss anything. he doesn’t know if taehyung is okay with his eviction being discussed. he doesn’t know if he wants to tell them about their relationship. he doesn’t know anything.

his father stands silently by the door, watching taehyung with unreadable eyes.

“mum, dad… actually… this is taehyung-ah,” hoseok hears himself say, his voice disembodied and far away to his own ears. “he’s here to see me.”

his mother’s eyes widen slightly, a silent question. “oh, i didn’t know you were having someone round,” she says, in her ‘if someone wasn’t here, i’d lecture you about this being my house’ voice.

“well… i wasn’t. taehyungie—taehyung-ah needed some help with something. and he

couldn’t reach me because there’s no reception here. so… he showed up. um…” taehyung is my boyfriend. three words would be all it would take. wait, no, that’s four words. he’s lost the ability to count. great.

“what kind of trouble’s he in?” hoseok’s father asks.

“n-nothing bad,” taehyung says quickly. “at least, not bad as in i’m bad. i’m good.”

hoseok almost laughs. yeah, thanks for that, honey. because bad people never lie about those kinds of things. “i didn’t say he was in

trouble, dad. he just needs a place to stay for the night. he’s… he’s my… my friend and it would really help me out if he could stay until tomorrow. he’s been travelling all night.” and if you say yes, he’s going to sleep in my bed.

his parents exchange a look. “hoseok-ah, honey, there’s only the couch for him to stay on. i don’t think that’ll be very comfortable… he’s welcome to, of course, but…”

like i said, he’s going to sleep in my bed. “the couch will be fine, right, tae?”

taehyung nods eagerly.

hoseok smiles. “okay. cool. i… um… i fed him already—there’s rice and some other stuff if you guys are hungry. um… yeah.” his heart is thudding, in his mouth, his throat, his chest, his fingertips. “tae, do you want to go upstairs and have a nap? you can use my bed for now.

come on, i’ll—tae?”

tae is peering over the table at the lamb as it bleets softly, his eyes large. “does it have a name?” he asks, looking from hoseok, to hoseok’s father, to his mother. “oh, it’s nice to meet you both. i didn’t say that. i—ten cups of coffee. no sleep.”

hoseok’s mother smiles and his father shakes taehyung’s hand briskly.

“we don’t name the animals,” his father says.

taehyung frowns at him almost reproachfully. “everything should have a name. is it a boy or a girl?”

“doesn’t matter much. doubt she’ll survive for long.”

“what? why?” taehyung asks, brow furrowing in distress at the thought. “is she sick? even if she’s sick she should have a name. you can’t put sheep number 4 on the headstone.”

hoseok’s father throws him a look as if to

say, ‘what the hell is this crazy person doing in my house talking about headstones for sheep? sheep are food, hoseok-ah. is he a vegetarian? get my shotgun. this is worse than if you brought home a boyfriend.’

hoseok stifles a nervous giggle. “i seem to remember a certain

group of goldfish named number one, number two, number three, and number four.”

“we flushed those down the toilet when they died,” taehyung says. “they didn’t get headstones. would it be okay if—will i scare her if i…?”

“she’s tame,” hoseok’s mother says. “so long as you

move slowly, she’ll even let you feed her.”

“do you feed her from a bottle like they do in films?”

“we do.”

“wow. that’s… wow…” taehyung grins.

hoseok’s father is still giving him looks, needing someone to commiserate tae’s weirdness with.

“would i be able to feed her?” tae asks faintly.

“yes, of course, honey,” hoseok’s mother says, looking pleasantly surprised. she, too, gives hoseok a glance, although her’s is only slightly puzzled, not outright judgemental. “i’ll get the milk.”

hoseok relaxes a little as taehyung is ushered over to the wood burner by his mother. she’s brisk, getting him a cushion to sit on, showing him where to stroke the lamb, explaining what’s wrong with it.

hoseok smiles involuntarily wide as taehyung’s deep laugh fills the room.

the lamb has licked his fingers, nosing at them curiously.

“hoseok-ah, a word.”

hoseok’s father touches his elbow, jerking his head towards the door.

hoseok’s heart sinks a little. “oh, um… sure, dad. i… tae, i’ll be back in a minute, okay?”

“‘kay.”

taehyung doesn’t even look up, just lifts a hand vaguely, engrossed in coaxing the lamb to lay its head on his knee.

hoseok closes the kitchen door firmly behind the two of them, watching his father apprehensively. “dad, i’m so sorry. i had no idea he was going to show up.”

hoseok’s father blinks grimly at him. he’s never been one for surprises or fun. or much of anything really.

“what trouble is he in?” he asks.

“nothing you need to worry about,” hoseok says, which, ironically, makes him sound exactly like the man he’s talking to. he cringes

internally. he’s spent a lot of time trying not to sound like his father. vague answers like that are precisely the reason why. “i just mean… it’s his private business and i’m not sure he wants people to know. but it’s nothing bad. he’s not on the run from the police or

something.” the joke falls flat because his father has no sense of humour and really it wasn’t very funny to begin with.

“someone shows up here jittering like a nervous wreck, i want to know why,” his father says. out comes the finger, jabbing to emphasise his point.

“jittering?” hoseok throws a glance towards the door. had tae been jittering?

“jittering, smelling like a homeless guy, looking like he’s had no sleep or he’s on drugs.”

hoseok has to choke back a laugh. “dad, he’s not on drugs.” taehyung on drugs is much more put together

than taehyung not on drugs. it’s a bizarre phenomenon to behold on the rare occasions it does happen.

“i saw what he walked up the track in. looked like someone off the streets. you changed his clothes, hoseok-ah.”

hoseok swallows, casting around for what, he doesn’t know.

“of course i gave him some clothes, dad. he’s been travelling all night and he’s a really good friend of mine. just…” give him a chance, he wants to say. give my boyfriend—who you don’t even know is my boyfriend—a chance. “he’ll be out of your hair by tomorrow. he’ll probably

sleep most of today. he won’t bother you. i promise.”

his father looks wholly unconvinced, but nods. whatever fight he’s attempting to have with hoseok had been lost the second hoseok’s mother said taehyung could stay anyway.

“he’s a good friend of yours?”

hoseok nods, smiling gratefully. “yeah. a really good friend.”

“is good friend code for something?”

“oh. um… n-no. he’s just my friend, dad. like i said.” his tongue betrays him. it really would be easier to just get this over with now while he has taehyung’s support.

that’s so much better than telling them alone.

his father raises an eyebrow at him, folding his arms. he clears his throat and says gruffly, “alright. well, i guess that’s that, then. but i don’t appreciate you giving our address out to strangers.”

“he’s not a stranger. he’s a friend of mine,” hoseok says softly.

“you know what i mean.”

“yeah. i’m sorry.”

they stand in stiff silence, hoseok scrambling internally for something to break it. a lightbulb goes off in his head as he hears his father’s sheepdog barking.

“hey, let’s go finish feeding the animals. mum said you weren’t done yet.”

“alright,” his father mumbles. “get a proper coat—none of those fancy fashion things. a proper one. and welly’s. ground’s still muddy in places.”

“okay, i’ll just…”

he gestures to the kitchen door, opens it.

taehyung has the lamb in his lap and is gently supporting its head as he feeds it from a bottle. every few seconds, a beaming grin spreads across his face and fades, only to come back again as he watches it.

“tae?” hoseok says softly, not wanting to startle the lamb.

taehyung looks up. “she’s so cute. i’ve named her bella.”

“bella,” hoseok says, keeping himself in the doorway even though the only natural response to this is to kneel at tae’s side and kiss him. “i like it. listen

i’m just going outside with dad. we still have a few of the animals to feed and stuff.”

“horses, pigs, the cows need moving to the other field,” his father chimes in, although his voice is a grumble that makes it hard to know who he’s talking to or if he’s talking to himself.

taehyung’s face positively lights up and he almost drops the bottle of warm milk in his excitement. “you have horses?”

“two,” hoseok’s father says, holding up two fingers. “you know much about horses?”

“not really, but i love them. all animals, really. they’re so…

majestic.”

“i wouldn’t say there’s anything majestic about a cow or a pig.”

“oh, well,” taehyung giggles, “i meant the horses. cows and pigs are good in their own ways, i’m sure.“ he nods as though he has any clue what he’s talking about.

hoseok chuckles, not sure what to do with himself. “oh, well, anyway, tae, that’s where we’ll b—“

“you any good with animals?” hoseok’s father asks.

“oh, well… i-i don’t know,” taehyung says. “i’d like to be. i haven’t had much experience.” he pets the lambs head softly.

“you strong enough to carry a bucket?”

“probably,” taehyung says.

“you scared of cows?”

“no, sir.”

“got a problem with smells?”

“no, sir.”

hoseok’s father surveys him for a second, nods, and jerks his head towards the door. “hoseok-ah, get him your coat.”

“my coat?” hoseok says, frowning. he’s not entirely sure what he’s just witnessed.

“he says he wants to be better with animals,” hoseok’s father says. “well… he can help me with what’s left of the chores then, can’t he?”

hoseok blinks. “um… dad, tae’s not had any sleep…”

“i’ll help,” taehyung says brightly. “i don’t mind. i like animals. i can herd cows. i can. i won’t sleep for hours anyway. i’ve had too much coffee.”

hoseok opens his mouth to protest, but he’s not sure how to say anything without it sounding gay as all hell.

“o-okay, i guess,” he mumbles, bemused. “if you want… you don’t have to, tae.” he really should be used to taehyung’s spontaneity by now, most of the time he is, but there’s something about this morning that’s making it impossible to process.

“i want to,” taehyung says. and he clearly really means it as he gently passes the lamb to hoseok’s mother dusts himself down. “i want to,” he says to hoseok. insisting even though he looks dead on his feet.

and before hoseok can say anything else, he’s slipping between

hoseok and his father, taking hoseok’s coat off the peg in the hall. he puts on hoseok’s wellington boots, which are a size too big for him. and he’s out the door, calling after him about how he can’t wait to milk cows, if they do milk cows, that sounds fun!

hoseok’s father splutters, looks at hoseok like hoseok’s going to be able to do anything.

hoseok laughs helplessly. “you’d better go after him, dad. he’ll start trying to milk cows without you.” he’s not comfortable with taehyung and his father being in the same room, let

alone in a field just the two of them. but what can he do? taehyung’s already halfway down the track.

he’s just going to breathe. breathe and help his mum with the shelves he promised to put up today. it’s only a few hours and then tae will be back inside.

nevermind that tae hasn’t slept at all, that he’s lost his apartment, possibly all his things, hoseok’s father probably won’t be very nice to him—hoseok wouldn’t put it past him to make taehyung cry by accident. his father isn’t exactly the warmest person on the planet.

fortunately tae is pretty good at being oblivious. he’ll probably be too engrossed in the animals to even care what hoseok’s father says or does. he will be fine. hoseok will be fine. jesus, what the hell has just happened.

“everything alright, honey?” his mother asks,

patting his back. “is your friend okay?”

hoseok smiles, shaking his head. “he’s fine. just… i need to make a few calls, can i use the landline? i…” he sighs. this is going to be a long day.

“have you eaten, honey?”

“i had toast.”

“sit and eat. make your calls after.”

hoseok rubs his forehead. "n-no. i'll eat later. i just need to call a friend of mine. i'll be okay, mum. actually, i might go out and help taehyung-ah and dad with the animals, i--"

"honey," she says, touching his arm, "you look pale. i'm going to get you breakfast. sit."

hoseok lets her steer him to the table and push him into a seat. he leans into the one armed hug she gives him. he lets her get him breakfast. and he lets her fill the rest of his morning with whatever she needs help with around the house.

at this point, he really doesn't have the will-power to do anything else.

by the time taehyung and his father come back inside, it's been hours. or it feels like hours. and hoseok's head snaps up so fast his mother flinches where she's standing at the stove making lunch.

taehyung’s cheeks are tinted a healthy pink and his hair is wind swept and he barrels into the kitchen with his arms open and a wide smile on his face.

hoseok wraps his arms around him instinctively, head catching up a second later. “you had fun, huh?” he says, pushing taehyung

away gently. jesus, taehyung needs sleep.

“hyung, i want you to teach me how to ride a horse.”

“what?” hoseok laughs.

taehyung bounces on the balls of his feet. “your dad grunted at me when i asked about riding them. teach me how to ride a horse. i’ll probably never get

another chance to ride a horse. hyung! as your b—very good friend, this is your duty. please? please, please please ple—“

“okay,” hoseok says hurriedly. “okay. just… under one condition. i want you to go upstairs and go to sleep after lunch.”

taehyung frowns.

“but you’re not going to be able to teach me if i’m sleeping.”

“you need sleep. you’ll collapse otherwise,” hoseok says. he’s fully aware from past experience that taehyung can keep going like this for days on end, but the severity of saying tae will collapse helps emphasise

his point. “just sleep until this evening and i’ll wake you up.” and we’ll go riding in the fields at sunset as totally platonic, not at all gay, not even a little bit, friends do.

he can’t tell if taehyung has read his mind or if the sparkle in his eye is from the caffeine.

“okay. deal. but it’s not my fault if i can’t fall asleep,” taehyung says and goes to hang up his coat and wash his hands.

heart hammering, hoseok looks over at his father, who has already taken his seat at the head of the small kitchen table. he’s staring at nothing, a

frown etched on his forehead. all in all, pretty much his normal expression.

taehyung survived and apparently managed not to say anything that might have aggravated hoseok’s dad. wow.

“well, he’s certainly something,” hoseok’s mother chuckles.

hoseok flushes. “sorry, he’s just… excitable.” hopped up on caffeine, homeless, in the middle of the denial stage of his freakout, sleep deprived.

“it’s sweet, don’t you think?” his mother says to his father, catching the man off-guard.

he huffs at her. “sweet isn’t exactly the wording i’d use.”

hoseok feels a lump in his throat. he’d known this would be his father’s reaction to meeting taehyung. anyone who displays emotions is someone his father finds flighty and ridiculous.

“did he manage okay?” hoseok asks.

“oh, he managed fine. doesn’t half talk, though, and about the most nonsensical things.”

hoseok tries to smile. he can just imagine taehyung interrupting his father’s instructions to ask if the pigs have names or something.

honestly he wouldn’t be surprised if taehyung had asked that very thing just to wind his father up a bit.

“he’s just enthusiastic,” he says quietly. “he’s grown up in the city. this is all new to him and he… he loves animals.”

his father grunts. “too much, if you ask me.”

hoseok refrains from saying that he hadn’t asked and starts setting the table.

he sits tae by his mother while they eat. the more distance tae has from his father, the better. taehyung spends the whole meal talking about the animals, asking hoseok’s parents questions.

hoseok is thankful. it means neither of them get to ask tae why he’s here, what his job is, etc. maybe that’s why tae doesn’t stop until the very last second when hoseok pushes him out of the kitchen and upstairs.

the moment they’re in hoseok’s room, taehyung kisses him.

“i love this place,” he mumbles against hoseok’s lips. “i love all the animals. i love you.”

hoseok nods softly, hands curled on taehyung’s chest. “love you too.”

“no, but i…” taehyung pauses in the middle of his sentence to kiss hoseok again, “i’m sorry,” he says quietly when he breaks away, taking hoseok’s breath with him. “if we’re going to fight when we get home, can you tell me now? i don’t like this.”

hoseok sighs, leaning against the door. “i don’t know, taehyungie. i just feel… on edge with you being here.”

taehyung sinks onto the bed, nodding glumly at the floor. “yeah. i’m sorry.”

“sorry doesn’t fix this,” hoseok says, too harshly for his liking. “i don’t want to

hear you apologise anymore. i just want to get through the rest of the day and leave tomorrow.”

taehyung nods again, bottom lip wobbling. “hyung, you don’t have to show me how to ride the horses. i can stay up here and pretend to sleep until tomorrow.”

and now hoseok feels bad. great. he presses his hands over his face. “no, taehyungie, honey, it’s fine. just get some sleep, please?”

“i love you,” taehyung whispers, and it sounds like he’s begging hoseok to say it back, so hoseok does, burying his face in taehyung’s hair.

he whispers it hoarsely, and for awhile he just holds him, dreading going back downstairs. for awhile, just a little while, he clings to taehyung like he’s the only piece of driftwood in the middle of a storming sea.

“i really do like this place,” taehyung says,

when he lies down. “when we do tell them, if they’re okay with it, we should come here together instead of it being just you. if we tell them,” he says, squeezing hoseok’s fingers. “not when. unless you want it to be ‘when’.”

“go to sleep,” hoseok says. “i’ll be back in a few hours.”

taehyung closes his eyes, long lashes casting shadows over his pale cheeks. despite the coffee, he’s asleep before hoseok has reached the bedroom door.

he doesn’t go back downstairs straight away. instead, he takes his phone and heads up to the attic. nevermind using the landline. he wants privacy to do this, not his father’s eyes boring into the back of his head.

***

an hour before sunset, he shakes taehyung awake gently. then a little less gently because waking taehyung up requires force.

“horse time,” is all he says. “wrap up warm. it’s cold outside.”

taehyung is up in a flash, stumbling blearily.

they get out of the house without encountering hoseok’s parents. his mother is in the kitchen, making dinner, and his father is out with the cows again. they’ll have total privacy while they do this.

the horses are still outside, but come trotting over to the stable when they see hoseok and taehyung standing there. hoseok goes up to each other, breathing in the thick scent of hay, grass, and horse as he strokes their necks.

he picks the smallest one for taehyung, slipping a harness over its head.

taehyung watches from a slight distance, clearly a little unnerved by how big the horses are and how there’s no fence separating him from them. when the largest comes up to sniff him, he goes rigid.

hoseok giggles. he hasn’t felt like that around animals since he was a kid. “honey, none of them are biters. relax.”

relax, he tells himself. he hasn’t relaxed since it hit him that taehyung was really standing in front of him this morning. relax.

the air is cold and so clean in his lungs. and he loves the smell of horses. he’s grown up with that smell. they’ll be home tomorrow. maybe he’ll even ask taehyung to move in with him permanently. that would be nice.

“i called jungkookie,” he says as he hoists a saddle up and over the horse’s back. “him and some friends went to your apartment and packed up your stuff. he says you can buy them dinner sometime to repay them.”

“they did?” taehyung says. “they have my stuff? oh. oh.”

he lets out a long breath, voice breathy and strained. “oh. okay. i can buy them dinner. lots of dinners.”

“jungkookie’s taken everything over to my apartment,” hoseok says.

“oh. he has a key? i didn’t know. i’d have asked him.”

“i know you would have.”

he pulls taehyung over, taehyung’s feet dragging hesitantly. “okay, put your foot in the stirrup and pull yourself up. i’ll get on behind you.”

“behind me?”

“yeah. hand here. other one here.” he pats the places he wants taehyung to hold. “now up.”

taehyung makes it most of the way up before he begins to slip back down and hoseok has to give him a final push so he doesn’t fall off. then he gets up behind taehyung, putting his arms around him to take the reins.

“okay, just hold them like this. don’t kick the horse. they

only do that in films when they’re in a hurry. press gently.”

between them, they get the horse walking in a wobbly line over the grass, hoseok giving quiet instructions here and there when taehyung pulls too hard on the reins.

he can feel taehyung coursing with excitement, the muscles in his back pressed to hoseok’s chest. it’s irritatingly infectious considering he’s supposed to be staying mad at taehyung or something.

be rests his forehead on taehyung’s shoulder. “honey, i don’t think we’re going to fight when we get home. i’m just going to need a few days to get my head round this. and i’m going to need you to promise you aren’t going to keep big things like this from me again.

i don’t know how the hell you expect a relationship to work if you don’t tell me this stuff.”

taehyung’s shoulders hunch. “i do promise.” he tenses nervously as they near the fence. “i know it won’t work if i don’t.”

hoseok brings them round, steering taehyung’s hands gently.

“we will tell my parents someday,” hoseok says. “just not now.”

“okay.“

“my dad thinks you’re a weirdo,” hoseok chuckles. “you’re going to have to do a lot of work if you want him to invite you back.”

“man,” taehyung sighs. “he’s never going to like me.”

“i’m pretty sure he doesn’t like anyone,” hoseok says, rubbing taehyung’s side reassuringly. the sway of the horse is soothing his nerves. “not even me.”

“he loves you,” taehyung says. “he’s your dad.”

hoseok hums and let’s the conversation fade.

“so we’re definitely okay?” taehyung asks after a moment.

“yeah,” hoseok murmurs, kissing the back of taehyung’s head. “we’re okay. i love you.”

“i love you too. thank you for putting up with me.”

“i don’t put up with you.”

“well… thanks for… dating me then.”

“thanks for dating me, too, honey,” hoseok says. he kisses the shell of taehyung’s ear clumsily. this whole affectionate peck thing is hard to do on a horse.

taehyung laughs. “your mum calls people honey, did you realise that?”

“i guess i did? why?”

“well, now, whenever you call me ‘honey’ i’m going to think of how you say it because your mum does. you guys even have the same eyes and expressions.”

hoseok chuckles. “we do?” he supposes he’s not spent enough time staring at himself to notice.

“it’s like looking at you only female and wrinkly,” taehyung says.

hoseok snorts into his hair. “okay, enough talking. hold on tight.” he digs his heels into the horses’s sides, picking up the pace.

“but what if i slip?” taehyung squeaks, recoiling into his chest

as they go from walking to a brisk trot.

“you won’t slip. i’ve got you.”

he urges the horse onward, from a trot to a canter, the cold breeze ruffling their hair.

“but who’s got you?” taehyung cries.

“no one. don’t worry about it.”

“hyung!”

“don’t shout. you’ll scare the horse.” with a final dig of his heels, the horse begins to gallop, and taehyung lets out a frightened little laugh, trying to twist in hoseok’s arms to no avail.

“stay still,” hoseok laughs. “i’ve got you.”

“but what if you fall off? how do i slow it down?” he wails.

“i’m not going to fall off.”

“but—“

“taehyungie, honey, i’ve got you.”

they stay out until the light has faded and the sun has all but disappeared. he helps taehyung dismount, lifting him down from the horse looking bright eyed and windswept and full of life in the darkness.

between them, they put the horses away for the night.

then taehyung huddles against him in a corner of the stable and presses kiss after kiss after kiss to his mouth.

“it’s kinda sexy that you can ride horses,” he says.

“i can tell,” hoseok giggles, trying to catch his breath mid kiss. it doesn’t work. “only kinda sexy?”

“more than kind of,” taehyung corrects, pulling back.

their breaths plume before them.

he hasn’t seen taehyung in weeks. he’s only just registering that. his body is figuring it out the hard way.

they disentangle themselves from each other and head back inside.

dinner that night is awkward and hoseok doesn’t begin to feel okay until he’s lying in bed that night, wondering if it’s worth following through with the idea of taehyung sleeping with him. he ends up deciding against it.

he’s spent so much time surreptitiously watching his father at dinner that he’s not sure he has the energy for any sneaking around at night on his parents creaky staircase.

the next morning he wakes before his alarm has gone off, his heart pumping, and he packs methodically, forcing his suitcase shut on all of taehyung’s things.

he’d arranged last night for his father to drive them to the bus station in town. there’s an early bus they can catch

to the train station in the city.

taehyung is feeding the lamb when he walks into the kitchen, apparently having heated up milk on the stove all by himself.

“she was making all this noise,” he says. “i got her water and… well…” he nods to a bowl of grass.

hoseok stifles a laugh in his hand.

“she ate some of it,” taehyung says. “and i lit the fire because i thought she might be cold, but it kept going out so i gave her a blanket. morning, hyung.”

“morning,” hoseok chuckles. he’s feeling better knowing they’ll be gone

from this place in a few hours time. he bends down and kisses taehyung quickly. “how are you feeling?”

“okay,” taehyung mumbles. “i think i need to come to terms with everything too. it’s weird… not having a home. but i’m okay. i have a bunch of jobs i’ve applied to.”

“you’ll get one of them,” hoseok says. “i know you will.”

when his parents come down, they all have breakfast together and his mother exclaims in delight when she sees taehyung’s fed the lamb. she seems to really be warming to him.

hoseok can’t say the same of his father, who gives a noncommittal grunt when taehyung asks if he needs any help with the animals this morning.

“go out with him, honey,” hoseok’s mother says, giving taehyung a little push. “he’s getting old, but he won’t admit it. he needs help.”

two hours later, after taehyung has said goodbye to the lamb (and, apparently, the rest of the animals judging by the eyeroll his father gives hoseok) they climb into the old land-rover, hoseok in the front seat, tae in the back.

hoseok’s father must really be glad they’re leaving because he actually clears his throat and talks to taehyung as they trundle and bump along the old roads. they talk about animals. taehyung tells his father about his brief job at a veterinary clinic.

he’d been the receptionist, but it hadn’t worked out because when there wasn’t anyone to be served, he’d leave the desk to play with the nearest dog or cat or bird that was waiting to be seen. then he’d forget to go back to the desk when someone needed serving.

at the end of this short story, hoseok’s father actually takes his eyes off the road and looks at taehyung while he responds. “sounds like you should work with animals.”

“i know, but there’s so many qualifications you need to be a vet. i’m no good with exams. at all.”

“me either,” his father says, “wasted half my life on that junk. only passed the basics.”

“really? but don’t you need something to be a farmer and look after all the animals?”

hoseok’s father shrugs. “no. just need to register the farm as an agricultural holding and make

sure you feed and keep the animals clean and healthy. simple really. doesn’t need all that smart-ass science mathematics geography crap.”

“wow.”

“wow, indeed.”

they pull up at the bus stop an hour later, just as hoseok’s father and taehyung are beginning to discuss how to properly take care of horses.

hoseok’s father gets the suitcase out of the back for them and shakes taehyung’s hand. “hope whatever trouble you’re in works out, son.”

taehyung smiles, clutching his pot plant. “i’m sure it will. thank you so much for letting me stay and help with the animals. i had a lovely time.”

“i can tell,” hoseok’s father huffs. it almost sounds like the beginning of a laugh.

taehyung waves and takes hoseok’s suitcase over to the waiting bus.

hoseok stands awkwardly by his father. he never knows how to say goodbye to him. especially since he came out. especially now.

“i’ll visit again soon?”

“yeah, you do that,” his father says.

they nod.

“well, safe trip,” his father mutters at last. “better get on the bus before it leaves without you. see you.” his father opens the car door and climbs in, but doesn’t close it.

“yeah, see you,” he says, trying to smile.

his father nods a final time and moves to pull the door

shut.

“d-dad?” hoseok blurts. “taehyungie… tae’s… he’s my boyfriend. he’s… we’re dating.”

his father blinks at him, looks away, and nods at the steering wheeling. “figured as much.”

“oh.” he searches his father’s face for any indication of what he’s thinking, but it’s

as unreadable as ever.

“you love him?” his father asks after a moment.

“y-yeah. i do. we’ve been going out about a year now.”

“ah,” is all his father says, still nodding just a little.

“i wasn’t sure if you’d want to know,” hoseok says, feeling tears gathering in his

eyes, nose, throat. “i just… i didn’t want to make things worse.”

“worse how?”

he wishes he hadn’t said anything. “you know how. you just ignore i’m gay and things are fine, but you can’t ignore i’m gay now, dad. i have a boyfriend. it’s not possible to ignore it.”

he glances back toward the bus and sees taehyung’s eyes are fixed on him. and just like that he’s crying and humiliating himself in front of his father.

he turns away, breathing hard as he tries to choke back whiny little sobs that make him sound ‘gay.’

“who said i was ignoring it?” his father asks.

no one had needed to say anything. his father’s actions spoke volumes.

“just didn’t have anything to say about it,” his father mutters gruffly. “figured you’d tell us sooner than a year, though.“

hoseok sniffs. he really shouldn’t have started this now when the bus is minutes from leaving. but he’d needed the option to get out. back at the farmhouse it’s miles on foot from the town. the only car is his parents. jesus taehyung walked all that way.

“he’s a nice boy,” he father says. “a nice man. a weird one, too chatty. but he knows his animals. and what he doesn’t know, he learns quick. wouldn’t hurt to have someone like him on the farm more often. you should… bring him on your visits. yeah.” he nods, closes the door,

and drives away, leaving hoseok standing uncertainly on the pavement, trying to dry his tears. he hadn’t even had time to ask his father what exactly had made his father ‘figure as much.’

he half frowns half laughs wetly when he sits down beside tae at the back of the bus. “i-i think my dad just… i think he just gave us his blessing?”

“what?” taehyung says in alarm. “you asked if you could marry me?”

“what? no, why would i ask him permission to marry—tae

if we were getting married, you’d be the one asking permission from him, not me! i meant dating.”

“oh. well, yeah,” taehyung says, frowning too, “he gave me the talk when i helped him with the animals yesterday.”

“he what? what talk?” hoseok splutters. his father doesn’t know

any talks besides the ‘don’t get a girl pregnant’ one.

“he said,” taehyung lifts a finger and shakes it, putting on a gruff, funnily accurate impression of his father, “you’re his very good friend, so don’t go hurting him or anything because i have a shotgun and i’ll use it.

and then he told me you used to like running around the fields naked when you were little and you’d scream if anyone tried to put any clothes on you.”

“w-what? i don’t remember telling you that story before.”

“you didn’t. your dad did.”

“but…”

hoseok looks down at his hands quickly. “oh,” is all he can manage.

he let’s taehyung pull him into a tight hug and realises as he breathes taehyung in between sobs that they never did run taehyung a bath.

“you smell really bad,” he whispers.

“yeah. i know.”

—the end—

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