Thread by @gradydoctor

1/
Today at Grady

Them: "Did you watch it?"
Me: "I saw a part of it this morning. But that was too much so I stopped."

*silence*

Me: "Did you?"
Them: "I ain't gon' even lie. I did. I kept saying I wasn't but I did."

*silence*

Me: "You okay?"
Them: "Define 'okay.'"

2/
Me: "I hear you. Retract that."

*silence*

Them: "Know what? I actually don't even recommend you watch it. 'Specially not the real bad parts."
Me: *listening*
Them: "Plus you got manchildren. It'll fuck you up too much." *covers mouth* "I mean, mess you up."
Me: *nods*

3/
Them: "Dude was a hunned-forty pounds. Prob'ly soaking wet!" *shaking head*
Me: "Even if he was 3-fifty he didn't deserve that."
Them: "But got damn! A hunned-forty? Maaaaane. That's fucked up." *raises brow* "I mean messed up."
Me: "Nah, fam. It's just what you said."

4/

Them: "Crazy when the world hate you so much that you start hating yourself, too."
Me: *sigh* "That's real talk."
Them: "Your neighborhoods, your schools, and even your own damn reflection."

*silence*

Me: "But like. . .what's even the solution?"
Them: *shaking head*

5/
Them: "I feel scared that it ain't one."
Me: "No?"
Them: *sigh* "Nope."
Me: "Damn."

*silence*

Them: "You know? I ain't even cry this time. Which is crazy. " *wipes face and sighs* "I wonder sometimes if we just wired for disappointment."

Wired for disappointment?

Damn.

6/
That last statement hurt too much to keep talking. So I stood up to leave.

Me: "Take care of yourself, okay?"
Them: "You, too. And them manchildren."

We exchanged a fist bump. And that was it.

Sigh.

I don't know the answers.
No, I do not.

But.

7/
I do know that no person or people should be wired for disappointment. Even though some of us are.

Because how we're wired comes from what we experience.

Sigh.

I don't know what else to say. I'm just trying to be okay.
However that's defined.

Yeah.

#tyrenichols