Thread by @SlytherinZidian

Hmm Qijiu au where sj just wants coal bcuz he needs it to burn to cook with and to heat his humble home, he would love gold but that would make him a target for thieves so he goes to tell the ancient one in the forest bad jokes to get his coal.. but it's yqy

https://twitter.com/StarChazion/status/1619649891592208384

so everything sj says makes him laugh and he keeps plying sj with bags of gold. Sj is getting increasingly frustrated bcuz if he goes back home with all of this gold on him he was sure to be killed for it but everything he says in his dry cutting way makes this being laugh

yqy can't help it, a long time ago he lost his xiao jiu and the loss of him was unbearable, yqy let himself die too.. yet he was reborn as this rich lord's child and in time became immortal.. but he never found his xiao jiu again... until now.. so how could he not laugh with joy?

how could he not want to spoil his xiao jiu?

But xiao jiu just got angry with him instead and ah wasn't that familiar? He just smiled fondly at xiao jiu's angry rant about his obliviousness and why couldn't he just give him coal?! Did this lord *want* him to be robbed & killed?!

"Then this one will go back with you for protection. Nobody will hurt you again under my watch."

And his xiao jiu was stunned into silence but then looked at him as if he was tricking him.

"Let's go home!" he said cheerily ignoring sj's suspicious glare.

Sj didn't get to say anything before this impudent and shameful being picked him up and made him direct him to sj's home.

Yqy was not going to let sj go this time. Never again.

This could also be #moshang where down on his luck sqh decided to go to the being in the forest rumoured to grant gold if you could make them laugh.. but no matter what he said this stone statue would not even show a hint of smile (granted ppl said it was very difficult..in fact

it wasn't known if anyone ever truly had gotten any gold from this being.. especially since belief in things like this had died out and most people took it as a story told to little children)

But for every bad joke the being would give him coal... coal! What was sqh supposed to

do with coal?! He couldn't even sell that to make money, nobody used that these days since concern for the environment was a main priority and burning things like coal was frowned heavily upon and you could even get fined! This would *lose* sqh money!

Finally he told his last joke and upon receiving more coal he just looked at it sadly and turned to go, weighed down by more coal than he knew what to do with. He couldn't even use it to warm his house bcuz the fumes were toxic to breathe in and u needed a well ventilated area

to use it even to cook, which he of course didn't have. He couldn't use it outside either bcuz he would get reported for pollution.
Maybe he could try to sell it to some energy company and see if they'd take it off his hands? Who was he kidding he wasn't that lucky.

His novel wasn't doing well. He'd nearly lost his draft for PIDW but luckily he'd had it saved in the cloud so even though he'd had to pay for a new laptop which severely depleted his little funds, he'd managed to start publishing his masterpiece.

It was a danmei about the cycles of abuse and the main characters Luo Binghe and Shen Jiu/Qingqiu were master and disciple who after being hurt by and hurting each other would come to understand each other and learn about not continuing these cycles and they would fall in love.

But of course in order to get to the good ending he had to put the protagonist through trauma first and he had to paint SJ out as the villain bcuz that was how the protagonist viewed him at first, esp since his backstory was not known yet

But because this backstory was not known all people were doing was calling for SJ's head. They wanted to see LBH succeed and prosper, wanted him to get with many of the beautiful men in the novel. (He hadn't wanted to tag his story as danmei yet as he thought it would give away

the main couple but as it turned out people were at first calling for lbh with many women and he didn't want them to think this was a stallion type novel so he had to tag danmei.. which apparently did *not* give away his endgame couple bcuz the readers hated sqq.)

Because he knew what he wanted to achieve with his novel and bcuz there was a specific story he was trying to tell, he didn't give in to what people wanted... but this meant that his story was not paying enough to truly cover his bills. He knew if he introduced a bunch of papapa

that it would become a hit and he would make more money, sex sells after all.
But that wasn't the story he wanted to tell and it wasn't what he wanted attached to his name... but maybe now he would have to cave bcuz a man needed to eat and for that he needed money

His last resort before giving in to the fans and turning his novel into a harem dogblood type was to come to this rumoured being in the forest that though people told as a story, he knew truly existed thanks to his great uncle who'd met the being

Now that this was a bust though, well...

But before he could leave a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"Why are you sad? Was the coal not enough?"

He turned around slowly, trying to keep all the coal in his arms from falling as he laughed nervously, "Oh no, it's far more than enough coal, trust me, I don't know what to do with it all, truly..."

The being nodded, seeming pleased, "It should last you several winters."

"Um.. right..." sqh said awkwardly. It seemed that the being truly thought the coal would be helpful.

"You do not like it," he said, brows furrowed in confusion.

"Uh no of course I like it," sqh was quick to say, not wanting to seem ungrateful and anger the forest lord.

But he only received a frown, "If you like it why are you sad?"

Sqh was at a loss for words. He didn't know what to say and he got the feeling that lying would not be a good idea.

"Your majesty," sqh said carefully, trying to be super polite in the hopes he would not anger him

"Mobei-Jun"

"Huh"

"You can call me Mobei-Jun"

"Uh okay, Mobei-Jun then, it is only that.. well this one had hoped to make you laugh, that's all..."

Mobei-Jun seemed confused.

"You prefer the gold? But why?"

Sqh should have thought it was obvious but Mobei-Jun looked like he truly wanted to know why anyone would want gold instead of coal.

"Well I can use the gold..." he said hesitantly.

"But the gold will cost your life, why would you want it instead of the coal which can preserve your life in the coming winter?"

"The gold will what?!" he said alarmed, "Is.. is it cursed gold then?"

"Mm"

"Is.. is that why your reputation is for being difficult to the get gold from?" sqh asked hesitantly

Mbj looked surprised, "Is that what they say now?"

"Well..yes and no.. they don't say much of anything these days, people believe it's a myth. You were expecting something

else?"

"It truly has been too long since I have seen people if that is what they say now. Once I was said to be someone who was put here by god to test the greed of humans. I was said to be a vengeful spirit cursing those who desired wealth. Others said I was a trickster."

"And yet others thought of me as a murderous ghoul luring desperate people here with the promise of money only to send the lucky ones back with coal and to take the souls of unlucky ones who took money instead, for you see, anyone who received gold from me would die."

"Eventually people came telling bad jokes so that I would have to give them coal, for coal would help them live but the gold would cost their life. And then they stopped coming altogether."

Sqh looked at Mobei-Jun closely. He was a beauty. His skin was dark and flecked with gold

His eyes glowed and atop his head sat a crown made of antlers also burnished in gold.

His chest was bare but he was clad in gold jewellery and an elaborately decorated cloth hung from his waist.

MBJ was cold to him at first, but he didn't seem evil or vengeful. He was ethereal.

Even if nobody wanted his gold because they feared death, why would they just stop coming?

Mbj was.. magnificent! Truly a work of art. Sqh would come here to sit and stare at him all the time if he could. Well, maybe if he got kicked out cuz he couldn't pay his rent he would

come join mbj in the forest.

There was certainly enough open air to use coal to keep warm here, and nobody around to see his smoke and think anything of it. He would have to pitch a tent and go into town for wifi but he could make it work right?

Come to think of it, MBJ said that people had stopped coming altogether, and now, well now he was an urban legend that nobody truly believed in. It suddenly hit sqh that it had been a long time since anyone made the trip to see mbj for gold or for coal.

"How long have you been here?" sqh asked suddenly.

"What is the year now?"

Sqh told him.

"It will have been maybe 1500 years or so," Mbj said.

1500 years!?

"You've been here for so long?" sqh gasped, and then something hit him, "In the end you didn't give out gold anymore

did you?" Mbj hadn't even smiled at him. He had thought him a statue. But come to think of it.. it seemed like that was an expression that was carefully maintained.

Mbj shook his head, "No. In the end I purposefully did not laugh. I do not desire people's lives, whatever the

rumors say."

That's what sqh thought. You see, gold was gold... money was money.. even if cursed, people would naturally be drawn to it. But if people started dying and then the supply of gold dwindled to the point that coal was all they knew they would get... well..

If there was no more money to be had & coal was also falling out of popularity so could not be used or was simply a less convenient source of fuel than gas was... well people would stop coming because there was nothing they wanted from Mbj anymore. And so it meant that Mbj must

have been alone here for all this time.

"When was the last time you saw anyone?"

"Hm it was maybe 200 years ago that people came around less and less until i saw nobody. But about 50 years ago there was one man who came to see me, though he was happy to leave with his coal."

That must have been sqh's great uncle! He had a piece of coal displayed in his house and would always tell sqh he received it from the forest lord.

But his excitement at learning that his uncle did indeed meet mbj was quelled by the thought that in 50 years mbj had not met a

single person.

Sqh felt quite sad. He himself didn't have any friends really, some passing acquaintances only, but he did talk to people online bcuz of his novel as his major form of social interaction. He had this and yet, he was lonely, how must mbj with nobody at all feel?

And since he couldn't laugh without having to give away gold to the person who caused it, how long had it been since he was able to laugh & feel positive emotions? It would have to be hundreds of years bcuz he was doing that when he figured out that ppl were dying from receiving

the gold that he was handing out.

Imagine not being able to laugh for hundreds of years & then having to spend the rest of your life in a forest all alone.

Sqh's heart hurt for Mbj. He didn't know why Mbj didn't leave but he assumed that as the forest lord he needed to be there

Well that settled it. He would come and visit Mbj from now on. Besides Mbj would be great inspiration for his story. He felt invigorated. He had intended to give LBH a right hand man, well now that man would be modeled after this beauty.
Mbj was gonna be his muse!

"Mobei-Jun, this one will be honest with you, coal simply can't be used now the way it used to be. I am happy to receive your gift, but I can't use it, not outside of the forest at least. So this one.. this one would like to ask if Mbj would be okay if he came and visited..."

"I can use the coal to make a fireside pit here and set up a little camp if you are amenable. I would not like your generosity to go to waste. Since you can't give out gold without death waiting for me then I won't ask anymore. Even I want to live my meagre life. But I would be

honored if MBJ would grant me his company on occasion."

MBJ looked stunned.

"You...you want to come back?"

"I do. I am sure Mbj has many good stories to tell. I can also tell you what the world is like now and how it has changed from what you might know."

Mbj still couldn't quite believe it but.. his uncle had shackled him here so long ago and he only had woodland creatures for company now... he hadn't realised how much he had missed having someone else around.

"I accept your offer. What is your name human?"

"Oh! It's Shang Qinghua," he said sheepishly.

Mbj repeated the name silently.

"Well, I can't stay out here without any supplies, I am going to go back and get some things and I shall be back in a while." Sqh had some old camping gear from college. He was glad he kept it around

for he was thinking of selling it for a few bucks. Of course now he might need it on a more permanent basis if he tried to change his novel to include papapa but didn't make any more money from it even with selling out.

"Can you keep this here for me? I will be using it here

anyway and it would be difficult to travel back with it when I have other supplies."

Mbj agreed and for the first time his lips curled in a smile.

The sight of it was so handsome that for a moment there were no thoughts in sqh's head. He was captivated by him. Truly stunned.

"Uh... I..I'm gonna go now.. B..be back later!" he stuttered.

But as he turned to go back the way he came, his mind was so distracted from replaying that smile that he tripped over a stray root and face planted into a few flowers growing on the side.

He just groaned into the flower patch and lifted his head slowly before thunking his head wearily into it again. Of course he had to make a fool of himself in front of this insanely gorgeous man!

Mbj was about to help him up, but sqh lifted himself off the ground...

and was met with the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard.

Mbj had seen the human face plant into some plants and he was concerned and about to help him but as the human got up there were stray flowers in his hair and a thin, dewy leaf stuck to his face like a moustache

the combination of the pretty flowers in his hair and the weird moustache on his face ended up being comical and for the first time in hundreds of years, Mbj let out an inadvertent laugh.

It was a laugh that he couldn't control. It slipped out & didn't stop for a good 5 minutes

Sqh was so stunned that he didn't even clean his face and hair of debris.

He stared starstruck at a laughing Mbj.

Suddenly there was a flash of light and manacles became visible on Mbj's hands and feet. Manacles which promptly shattered and disintegrated like they didn't exist

"W..what just happened.."

"You've freed me," Mbj said in wonder.

"Me? But I didn't do anything?" he said puzzled.

"You did." Mbj smiled so broadly that sqh was left struck dumb once more.

Mbj reached out & carefully cleaned sqh's face and hair.

"Thanks to you I am no longer

bound to this forest and my curse has been lifted."

"Oh. Well... how did I do that then?"

"You made me laugh without wanting anything in return from me. You didn't have the intention of getting gold in return for it."

Sqh found out that Mbj was once a prince, heir to the throne of a long forgotten nation of a long forgotten race.
He was a 'demon' he supposed.
His uncle made him believe that he supported and loved him except his uncle hated his father bcuz he stole his uncle's love from him.

That is, Mbj's mother was his uncle's wife before she left him for Mbj's father, his uncle's elder brother.

When Mbj's mother died he was left in the care of his uncle as his father was too busy grieving to pay any attention to his son.

But Mbj's uncle was just biding his time.

He wanted revenge. He was going to kill Mbj and take away the last remnant of Mbj's mother from his father, bcuz in his uncle's opinion if the king loved his dead wife so much he should have taken care of the child she left him, but even that he couldn't do. Lgj thought Mbj Sr

was incompetent and he wanted to show him that there was always more to lose.

But before he could get revenge on his brother, the king died.

Suddenly his plans fell through bcuz the one he wanted revenge on was no longer there, so his anger focused on the one who was left, Mbj.

He was going to betray Mbj the way he was betrayed by Mbj's parents. He was going to make him lose someone he loved. He was also going to make sure that Mbj would have no joy in life the way he lgj did... Mbj's joy would lead to sorrow, always.

Lgj planned meticulously. On the day after the coronation, there would be a hunt to commemorate the new King's reign.

Lgj knew Mbj trusted him, so he pretended to have let out a special beast somewhere and told Mbj it was his uncle's gift to him. Lgj opened a portal for Mbj

which would send him to the destination that the beast was sent to. Portals were a skill of the Northern kings' bloodline.
But instead of it being another part of the forest in their kingdom...it was a forest in the human lands.
And the beast was Mbj himself, for Lgj had arranged

human hunters to catch him. Human and demon lands were separated by a veil. Humans did not know demons existed, however they were superstitious and lgj knew this, so he made up a story for the hunters he hired and let them loose. Then he sent Mbj there.

Normally humans would be no match for the Northern King, for demons had magic, and even if Mbj was weak, he could portal away.
But lgj naturally anticipated this of course. On the day of the coronation his uncle had gifted him with a stunning set of bracelets and anklets.

He said he wished his dear nephew would wear his gift. Mbj who was raised by this uncle and dearly loved him was touched and promised he would.
Unbeknownst to Mbj, the jewellery was jinxed. They constrained his power and made him unable to wield it to protect himself or get away.

For one week he evaded the human hunters and their weapons. Then his uncle showed up when he was weak, injured and hiding and Mbj thought this is it, not even one day as king and he was dead. Betrayed by the only parental figure he truly knew and loved.

But Lgj had no plans to kill Mbj, no, he wanted him to suffer. Mbj was the living embodiment of his brother & ex wife's betrayal, and the only one left upon whom he could project his feelings of betrayal, resentment and anger.
What was the point of hiring human hunters? Well

Lgj needed Mbj weakened. After his father died he would have gained all of his father's power and become the most powerful demon within the land. There was no way Lgj could harm him without trickery. While he could hire people who hated the king to do his dirty work, that was

risky. If Mbj was in their world he could be saved by someone or someone could double cross lgj or implicate him in the plot, but in the human world nobody would save this strange creature. They would consider him a beast.. a savage monster.

(Lgj wasn't *quite* right but he thought he knew a lot about humans)

The human hunters who were looking for Mbj for example, didn't want to kill him like Lgj thought, they wanted to capture him and present him to the emperor for his favor.

But Lgj killed them before they could catch him, after all he couldn't have them interrupting his trap for Mbj and they served their parts to weaken him already.
The hunters were only part 1.
Even without his powers Mbj's strength of mind etc was formidable, Lgj needed him

vulnerable in body and spirit.

For in the middle of that human forest Lgj had drawn an array that was connected to Mbj's jewellery which turned out to be manacles. Lgj knocked Mbj out and dragged him to the centre of the array and activated it. The array would not have worked

if Mbj was stronger, but he was blocked off from his powers, chased, injured, weakened, starved & battling heartbreak too. He was just vulnerable enough for Lgj to use his trump card.
This array would trap Mbj in the human world, and the bounds of this forest would be his cage.

That was part 2. The 3rd part of his plan was inscribed upon the manacles themselves. Lgj found out that humans valued money the most and that gold was the most important form of currency. He also found out that coal was a threat given to humans. The humans taught their young

that if they disobeyed then at the end of the year they would receive a lump of coal. If they obeyed then they would receive something special.
Coal was used to threaten the human children into obedience. Clearly humans feared or disliked coal very much.

So Lgj thought it would be hilarious to have his nephew, the King of the Northern demon lands, be subservient to humans.

He would spread rumours that a being lived in the forest that could grant humans their most precious gold, if only you could make him laugh. And if you

failed to make him laugh, you would receive coal.

Mbj hated asinine talk. He was a man of little words. He didn't engage in small talk. He hated socialising with people, though he would do his duty to his kingdom. Mbj would be stuck here, powerless and unable to leave, listening

to humans prattle on and in the end being forced to give them a boon or a bane. Except even more funny would be that their boon was in fact cursed. Anytime someone received gold, they would die a horrible death and Mbj would receive the blame.

He would be cursed at by humans after having to listen to their drivel.

Lgj also had a clause in the manacle engravings that randomised mbj's reactions. When faced with a human telling the joke mbj would not be able to control what reaction he had so there was a chance of both

him laughing and needing to give out cursed gold, or not laughing and giving humans their hated coal.

Humans were greedy pathetic creatures in his eyes and would definitely seek out Mbj to gain gold. As a last taunt to Mbj, lgj said that if someone sought out mbj and made him

laugh without the intent of collecting any rewards from him, then he would go free. Lgj was confident this would never happen, after all humans would always want something.

Besides, it wouldn't really get a chance to happen anyway. Lgj didn't intend on this being a permanent

arrangement. No. After all Lgj also wanted to be king. But he could not be king until the previous king was dead and he would be able to receive their powers. He could have killed Mbj right away and taken over the throne.. but that would have caused problems for him. Lgj was a

patient demon. He could play the slow game. He would let Mbj languish in the human world for a few years. In the meantime he would go and play the grieving uncle. Alas his nephew was lost in the hunt after encountering a rare Wandering Three-Toed Racoon Snake.
Everyone knew that

if you met one of those you were doomed to be lost until found if held by it, but many were never found for the Wandering Three-Toed Raccoon Snake could cross realms. Lgj 'heroically' tried to save his nephew but mbj was so filial he pushed him out of the way of the snake's bite.

When it grabbed Mbj both he and the snake vanished, taken to who knows where. They knew he was alive since Lgj, as the next in line for the throne until an heir was born, did not receive the king's power.
So for the next few years Lgj would pretend to be searching desperately for

Mbj and in the meantime serving as regent while gaining the people's trust and admiration. By the time Mbj had suffered a few years of powerlessness and subservience to humans, Lgj would have established himself as a competent and loved monarch in the Northern Kingdom

Lgj would be the one who served his country while loyally looking for his beloved nephew, the king & then in the end when the powers were transferred to him, they would accept him as king without any speculation that he planned anything. His transition would happen smoothly with

no real opposition and he would be trusted by the people who would serve him loyally.

Lgj would then activate the detonation clause he had included on mbj's manacles which he didn't need to be near to trigger. Mbj would literally explode into a mist, his body would disintegrate

completely, leaving no trace of him having ever existed.

He would do it while in court publicly so that the powers would transfer to him there and then in front of the people, proving that mbj was dead and lgj was officially king. He would 'mourn' for a while, putting on a show

and then it would be lgj on that throne, having outsmarted and outlived his worthless brother's family.

But Lgj slightly underestimated Mbj, for even without his power Mbj managed to scratch the engraving over time, though he was only ever able to corrupt two clauses.

First, and most importantly, the one that allowed Lgj to kill him. And secondly, the one that controlled Mbj's reactions to the humans. No longer would he laugh and doom them to death. Mbj was not bloodthirsty like his uncle. In fact if he ever was violent before, his uncle's

betrayal made him want to be everything his uncle was not. And knowing that his uncle wanted all these humans to die made him more determined not to let that happen.
Mbj thought he had time to slowly scratch the rest of the engravings on the manacles, but having his powers

sealed while also powering the array that kept him trapped there (for lgj had tied mbj's own energy to array to keep it running) had weakened him more than he knew, and so he was unable to make a dent more on the manacles. They were imbued with magic after all, and he was lacking

Mbj of course also had no hope that any human would come to him without the incentive of a reward. He was destined to be trapped there for eternity or until his wretched uncle freed him, whether through death or otherwise.
Hundreds of years passed and he was still granting

humans rewards... and wasn't that peculiar? Lgj had thought he was giving the humans two terrible options, gold aka death, or coal, something they loathed... but in actuality coal was necessary for the humans to live through winter, and to cook their food, so even if they

didn't come for gold after rumors spread of it's bringing death, they often came for coal. Mbj got to learn a lot about humans and the human world in that time. But after many many years passed the amount of humans visiting him dwindled slowly before the visits stopped completely

Mbj wondered what his existence even meant. Lgj had not come back to kill him which Mbj was surprised about, after all even if his manacle plan failed he could still send someone or come himself to finish off a severely weakened Mbj.

However what nobody could have ever predicted was that the lie Lgj told became a reality... for him!
The Wandering Three-Toed Raccoon Snake somehow managed to find its way into Lgj's court session and snatched him in front of everyone! So the people of the north mourned the loss

of BOTH their monarch and the regent/current heir to the throne.

As a result Mbj was not killed but he also was not released or found.

Eventually without a proper heir (since the Mobei bloodline was the one that passed down the King's power and no more Mobei's were left)

the north fizzled out from being a kingdom and became the demon world's first democracy.

And Mbj indeed languished the way Lgj hoped, all alone in a human forest with only animals for company in the end... Until one little human managed to find his way there and offered to

keep Mbj company.
Sqh had in fact come with the intent of getting a reward from Mbj, yes. However when he learned that it was cursed his intentions to own that gold vanished, leaving only his intention to come back for Mbj, as a person, and not what Mbj could give him.

That is, he now purely wanted to be with Mbj... that in itself would not be enough to break the curse. No, sqh had to make mbj laugh but not with the expectation of reward... Lgj was also not as thorough as he should have been. His wording did not specify mbj had to laugh from

being told a joke with no ulterior motives, he only said that if someone sought him out and made him laugh without the intent of collecting any rewards from him, then he would go free.

Sqh sought his company (intended to come back for him) and then made him laugh

(when he face-planted the forest floor)without any intent to collect a reward from him.

After 1500 years, Mbj was freed by sqh's clumsiness and willingness to keep him company and to come seek him out specifically for mbj himself and not for any reward from him.

With that freedom, all of Mbj's power came back to him. He practically glowed while the power was steadily growing.
Mbj had not felt this strong and healthy in a very very long time.
As for sqh, he'd already thought Mbj beautiful but while mbj was telling his story and his power

came back in increments, in the back of his mind sqh was thinking that Mbj was truly the most spectacular thing he'd ever laid eyes on.

He was also seriously pissed on Mbj's behalf bcuz, who does that?! He didn't know why lgj didn't come back to finish the job he started

since Mbj himself didn't know why, but in his heart he hoped that lgj himself died a painful death, both for what he put mbj through and for the amount of humans who must have died bcuz of him over the years that mbj had no control over his laughter.

Of course they could have no way of knowing that Linguang-Jun was not totally dead, but boy was he suffering every day.

As it turned out, when the Wandering Three-Toed Raccoon Snake grabbed Lgj and was about to portal away with him, Lgj tried to fight back by creating a portal

of his own... the clash between their two energies actually ended up partially killing both of them while fusing what was left of them together to make one alive being rather than two. The portal also spit them out somewhere random rather than the dimension the snake meant to go

to. That had them dropping out of the sky and falling to the feet of an elegant man in white.

"Oh what is this?" the man picked Raccoon Snake-Jun up by the scruff of its neck.

"I don't know gege, I have never seen anything like it.. and strangest of all it's both dead & alive."

RSJ struggled but this man was deceptively strong and they could not break away.

"It's cute isn't it?"

"If gege says so."

"San Lang, we can take it with us can't we? You said it's dead as well, is it one u can keep on a metaphorical leash?"

HC extended his power and found that yes, there was enough of death in the thing to allow him to have jurisdiction over it as a 'ghost' since it was 'dead' but also 'alive'.

He nodded to XL.

"We can take this thing with us. Might be interesting to find out what it is."

"It looks like a raccoon, but not. Either way it's appropriate isn't it? A trash collecting pet for someone known as the trash collecting god?"

San Lang just smiled.

LGJ was internally sweating. He felt like he was in danger somehow. But he couldn't control this body very well.

It seemed like he had full control over his mind so he doesn't lose himself like an animal, however the raccoon snake had most control over the body and the animal's instincts were still there just muted.

LGJ would come to regret that he ever invoked the name of this Raccoon

The man in white looked gentle and sweet... but he was a poisoner!!!

He would 'cook' the most revolting concoctions and he would give them it to eat. But LGJ had no control of the body and to a Raccoon the food was great! But LGJ was suffering every day!

Somehow he was getting the taste of the food but while the Raccoon was enjoying it he was not! His soul was tasting the food clearly differently to the Raccoon. And he was getting phantom stomach pains although it clearly didn't affect the animal. The animal loved the man's food

and so resolved to stay with him and his partner. LGJ was truly losing his mind being trapped in a body with this thing.

But he deserved it all.

Meanwhile, sqh was blushing heavily as Mbj carefully pat the dirt from his clothes and wiped his face.

"Y..you don't have to..."

"I want to."

"O..okay."

Sqh let him help him.

"Wait, but what are you going to do now that you are not trapped here?"

"Can you even go back to your world?"

"I don't know. I have my full powers back now so I should be able to portal there."

"Oh. Right. Okay."

Mbj frowned,"Why are you sad again?"

Sqh laughed awkwardly, "Ah don't worry it's just that I thought that I might miss you absurd as it

sounds given that I just met you..."

"You can come with me."

Sqh's eyes widened, "But.. I am squishy!"

"You'll be with me, you saved me, I will ensure no harm comes to you. And I am still the King of that land no matter who has taken over. The King's powers are in me."

"Well, when you put it that way..." sqh mumbled.. after all what did he have waiting for him at home? He did take a short hiatus from his novel to come here to the forest, he hadn't expected to find mbj as soon as he did so he has a grace period before his readers expected him.

"Hold onto me it might be strange since you are a human and I have not done this in 1500 years, I don't know if something will go wrong," Mbj said seriously.

Sqh did not need to be told twice! He grasped those firm biceps and clung on for his life!

When they arrived at the Northern desert, the first thing sqh realised was that it was incredibly cold!

He shivered and MBJ touched his forehead and a wave of pleasant heat spread through him. The cold receded. It seemed like Mbj did regain his magical abilities.

Mbj observed the place as if he was a stranger.

Well, sqh reasoned, after so long he practically was.

The Northern desert was beautiful though. Of course they'd come out of a portal into a forest since it was the easiest way to get through the veil if you came in from somewhere

similar in the human world. The trees were a bit different than humans' trees, everything was a bit more muted and soft but they also had that glow around them that made them really seem magical.
"We will portal to the palace now," Mbj told him, "I will hold onto you. As a human

I do not know how others will react to you, it is best if you stick close to me."

Sqh eyed Mbj's jewellery covered chest. "Don't mind if I do," he said under his breath and with that he stepped closer and hugged Mbj around the middle. Mbj walked with sqh standing on his feet

as if there was no obstruction whatsoever, straight through the portal. Sqh stepped down but still kept a tight grip on Mbj's arms.
The only word he could use to describe what was in front of them was, bustling.
It was so busy. It seemed very much like a human city.

Mbj frowned. "Too many people," he said.

He looked at the palace. It was magnificent still, clearly the upkeep was not neglected. However it seemed like it was now open to the public and many demons were going in and out. What happened to palace security?

The public used to be allowed inside on festival days or when the King (or a regent) held court.

But it didn't seem like either of those things were happening.

Mbj was a bit unsettled.

"SQH hold on tight once more, I am going to portal directly inside."

And they did. What they saw was... well it looked like a palace meets bureaucratic govt office.

"What have they done to my palace?" Mbj growled.

"Sir how did you get in here?" a stern voice sounded behind them, "Security is here with me don't try anything funny."

Mbj turned around, placing sqh behind him, and glared at the impudence!

The demon behind mbj was not wearing any human kind of clothing obviously, but looked no less the bureaucrat for it. Sqh was worried a fight would break out. But he needn't have.

The man took one look at

Mbj's face.. at his forehead where the mark of the King's line shone.. and dropped to his knees.

"Your Majesty."

As it turned out this man was the High Minister, a person chosen by the demon population to preside over them in the absence of their king and any heir.
The thing was, most of the demons knew their king from stories, though demonic history and memory was better preserved

than human history. But the longer that time passed without the king's return the more things started to change. The demons of the current age were unfamiliar with the royal court and any of its customs. At first, the people had LGJ there as a way to know their king was alive..

once lgj didn't get the king's power then it meant their king was still out there and could come back if he was found... however the Wandering Three-Toed Raccoon Snake also did away with the regent and heir! so their meter for knowing if the king was alive was now gone

eventually there was just no way for them to know if either the king or regent were alive, and they needed a competent minister to govern.
Demons lived much longer lives than humans, though of course it depended on the species etc.
This High Minister was the third one since

Lgj got spirited away. He was old enough to remember some of the customs and his history.

Of course most people would recognise the king's mark. It was a major and important part of their history and there were always rumors 'sighting' the king so the stories were myriad.

The High Minister was going to relinquish his title at once and cede all power to Mbj. But Mbj stopped him.

In truth, Mbj had long lost touch with his people. He had no idea what was going on in his country and even the language he spoke was old fashioned to them, different.

And the customs of the court were also forgotten by the people. If he demanded the respect he was owed well, many may not know exactly all it entailed.

There were things that belonged to the King that was sealed in a private part of the palace. Only the King or those he allowed

could access those things. Mbj said he had no desire to disrupt the lives of his people. He would allow the High Minister to issue a proclamation addressing some things to the populace which Mbj would use his official seal that couldn't be replicated to stamp & prove his identity

and the veracity of the words that the High Minister would be sending out there.
Other than that he would leave the country as it was and entrust the High Minister with its care. All he wanted was the freedom to come and go as he wished bcuz after all, it was his palace,

and it was his country, he would mean them no harm and in fact would offer his help if needed.

They stayed only long enough this time for Mbj to sort out some affairs privately with the High Minister and for Mbj to show sqh around the castle and collect many of his

possessions (and money), putting them into small magical pouches that held much more than they seemed to be physically able to.
"Wait, if you're moving your things then where will you live?"
"Hm... with you," Mbj declared.
"W..with me!?" sqh sputtered.
"Do you not want to?"

"It's not that. I mean there's a reason I came to you for gold... I'm afraid my abode is not even fit for a peasant like me much less for a king.... also uh.. I don't know if you would blend in as a human, if you come back with me how would we explain...remember humans don't know

about demons, they might want to.. to experiment on you or something!" sqh word vomited anxiously.

"You don't have to worry about that, I will be able to blend in. Magic, remember?"

"Oh. Right," sqh laughed sheepishly.

He *would* have to teach Mbj about the modern world

and language though, but he thinks those are workable as long as nobody thinks he's an alien or something bcuz he would get kidnapped by some govt to be studied!

But also... he couldn't believe this dreamboat was going to be living with him! In his super crappy apartment at that

When Mbj was done showing him around ("Wow is that an ice dragon?!" "It's a dragon demon baby." "It's a *baby*?! ahhhh so cute!")

They portalled from mbj's kingly bedroom ("I wish mine was like this!") directly to sqh's bedroom.

"Ah hehe well my king, this is it.."

Mbj looked around. Many of the things in here were completely unfamiliar to him.

"Do all humans live in such.. small homes?"

Mbj had been stuck in a forest, while he heard stories from ppl, it had been a while and he'd never seen human

abodes or anything else really in person other than what people might have had on them at the time when they visited him.

"Well, no. This is kind of an extreme case since this is all I can afford. Most apartments are bigger than this." and it was true, sqh's place was tinyyy.

"Ah I see. So you came for gold to buy a new house?"

"Haha my king, I don't even know if I would have been able to buy a house, maybe just save and rent depending on just how much gold i got."

Mbj's brows creased. His expressions seemed to be giving:

Sqh kind of slumped, "Ah you don't have to stay here if it's uncomfortable for you. You're royalty, I know you're accustomed to a better standard of living."

"You're right, I am. So we are going to find another house to live in."

"My King it isn't so simple, I don't have the money to--"

"But I do. I presume jewels and gold are still acceptable forms of currency?"

"Well if we trade it in or sell it then yes," sqh boggled. Mbj couldn't possibly be saying what he thought he was saying.

"Well then we shall go and do that and then find another house to live in." Mbj said it so matter of factly that sqh was just left stunned speechless.

In his mind he was freaking out for 2 things now, Mbj's unconcern about money cuz well, he was a king, he was..IS..rich and two,

ahhh how was sqh going to survive living with this hot guy who gave up a life of luxury in his kingdom to come live with sqh, and he was adamant about it too even after seeing sqh's living conditions. this felt like a dream really.. sqh prob ate expired ramen again and had

fallen ill and was dreaming or hallucinating...he would wake up in the hospital with more bills to pay and no more money to pay them with..

"Sqh," mbj poked the middle of his brow.

"Oh my king, what is it?"

"sqh has that look again."

"what look?"

"sad."

"If sqh likes this place and does not want to give it up this king will not insist. We can live here too."

"Oh. Oh that's sweet. But that's not why. I just.. can't believe this is real. Are you sure you're not a figment of my imagination," he joked.

"Qinghua must have a great imagination," Mbj said imperiously.

Sqh laughed genuinely this time. "I do actually, not that anyone seems to appreciate it."

"This king will appreciate it. Sqh doesn't need anyone else to."

Sqh went wide eyed at that. It almost sounded as if-- nah

Who was he kidding. This was already too good to be true, who let his imagination run even more wild? Not good qinghua!

He took Mbj on a tour of his small apartment, fed him with instant ramen which was very new to him, and they arranged to go find a house after selling the

precious gems etc that mbj had with him.

If this was a dream, sqh decided finally, then I don't want to wake up.