Thread by @Ranting_Trans

Okay as a former massive HP nerd (that fell off before the movie series even finished), here we go:

-Wizards used to shit on the floor and use magic to just make it go away
-Based on Hogwarts students numbers, the UK has like 40 magic kids a year

https://twitter.com/xoxogossipgita/status/1620825227348549632

Hagrid was said to raise werewolf cubs below his bed...but we also see that werewolves are humans with a curse so wtf Hagrid

Goblin rebellions (like the one in the upcoming game) were mostly about trying to attain equal rights and avoiding getting enslaved. The kids learn about this in school but seem to still hate goblins

Back in the day, wizards literally had a convention to figure out "what counts as sapient" when it comes to magical creatures. They decided pretty much none of them are no matter how intelligent they are

Quidditch used to be played with a real bird that was captured and tortured by the audience for entertainment.

This is actually believable because the game was invented by the British

Curses are pretty widespread, a lot of them permanent and fairly easy to get stuck with. Among them are: being forced to look at a book forever (practically blinding you and removing a hand) and having a word etched in pimples on your face forever

Speaking of curses, an unforgivable curse kills you if you break it. You can get in an unbreakable curse with anyone, even infants who don't know what an unforgivable curse is or what they're agreeing to

This map of schools which just makes no sense at all

The ministry of magic will give a 13 year old the power of reversing time itself so she can do homework. The author tried to fix this by having the group smash into and destroy all the time machines by accident when breaking into the government

Afaik, it's not stated how someone becomes Minister for Magic, but Dumbledore once mentions that 'they offered the role to him' once, and the minister after Fudge appears to have been appointed, so I guess they're not a democratic society

Peter Pettigrew, in the form of a rat, slept on the beds of underage boys for 13 years

On government appointments though, apparently the world leader of wizards is chosen by a psychic deer

Squibs (the non magical children of magical parents) are just kinda expected to leave wizarding society for good, essentially being exiled. They're still beholden to all the wizarding laws though like keeping the secrecy statute

(the following is in the author's words, not mine)

Native American "magic men" were not actually magic and in the HP universe are canonically charlatans. There were real magic users in the Indigenous population, but their magic matched what you'd expect in HP

Despite the fact that instant travel exists, and canonically can be done to access the Ministry of Magic, Dumbledore appears to take several hours to reach the Ministry of Magic in the first book, having been lured out of Hogwarts by a fake summons message

This isn't worldbuilding, but there was a bit where Crabbe and Goyle would polyjuice themselves into a young girl so they could stand watch while Malfoy did shit in the room of requirement.

I dont know why they had to be girls?

Dumbledore's brother fucks sheep.

This is a children's book.

The age of alcohol consumption is at least 13 years since butterbeer is alcoholic, and Ron mentions wanting to try firewhiskey (before Hermione forces him to not)

Okay really weird one: wizards celebrate Christmas, which I guess implies they're Christian? Which would mean the magic community heard Jesus turning water into wine and went "wow that's amazing, dude MUST be God"

There is a date rape potion sold by Ron's brothers in their store "for pranks!"

The crime for teaching yourself how to turn into an animal is going to soul-sucking jail forever

Harry's family is really rich because his great grandfather invented a really good hair gel.

No really.

Since toilets were invented AFTER the founding of Hogwarts, the whole password in the sink thing was made by some guy afterwards cause apparently he thought that girls bathrooms are just where you do sneaky shit, apparently...

Also, boys can't get into the girls dorm, but girls can get into the boys dorm because, quote: "girls are more trustworthy than boys"

Also, Barty Crouch Junior was snuck out of prison by turning into his mum with a polyjuice potion.

Starting to see a pattern here...

Despite wizards being able to do household chores with literally a wave of their hands, they still keep slaves to do them. Molly Weasley, despite being shown to clean dishes instantly and make food appear, also wishes for a slave

Ptolemy and Agrippa (both real people) were apparently wizards.

Also, the witches burned in the Salem witch trials were actually real witches, but none of them actually were burned cause they would magic their way out and thought it was funny

Barty Crouch Snr is respected for knowing every single language on earth, which implies there's no magical translator or anything.

Which brings us back to that map of wizard schools and makes us wonder how the fuck anyone communicates with anyone else in those places

Despite them being magic nazis, the magic nazis were allowed back in society by just claiming they were mind controlled. This is despite truth serum existing and being used quite liberally as an interrogation method.

Note that the above is also believable, because forgiving nazis is pretty on point for the western powers

Making a basilisk is pretty easy actually - you just stick a chicken egg beneath a toad. This makes Salazar Slytherin's master plan of using a basilisk to get revenge on the school less like an evil wizards scheme, and more just a nut job that left his son an AK-47

Moving pictures have degrees of sentience, but at their height, they're pretty close to the original person's personality and potentially memories.

Completely unrelated, but this is one of my favourite episodes of Black Mirror

Voldemort's insurrection is known as the "first wizarding war", implying that the wizards never had a war in their entire history until like, the 70's.

House points.

Just house points.

They really make no sense in the slightest.

Wizards actually do use "modern vehicles", they use trains, submarines, buses, even taxi cabs.

Why Arthur Weasley using a ford anglia is considered eccentric is unknown

There is a character named Cho Chang

There is a black character named Kingsley Shacklebolt

Dumbledore has a scar that is a perfect map of the London underground.

Dumbledore is apparently a fan of trains

The lady that sells sweets on the Hogwarts Express is also its security guard, and she will arrest students that try to jump off the train. She has also forgotten her name because no one ever talks to her for anything except food, apparently

Despite having access to mass, instant teleportation (and have used them before for scheduled, public events), the government chooses to use a train accessible only through a very public muggle location

The train was acquired by stealing it from muggle engineers.

On stealing things, wizards don't seem to have much of a respect for other people's property and laws, since they steal goblin crafts regularly.

But this may just be explained as them just being British

Wizards don't seem to know what medical stitching is and have never attempted it before.

It is not known what they do in situations where a wand or potion is inaccessible

Wandless magic exists and is used several times. Wand magic is considered "superior" however, and was apparently invented/popularised in Europe and has been "taught" to other countries thereafter. Yes it's exactly what it sounds like.

Speaking of which, Ilvermorny (the US-based school) was founded by a white woman and her non-magic (or No-Maj) husband. A big part of its origins was her teaching the Indigenous wizards how to use wands, which is now the norm. Yes it is exactly what it sounds like.

The only school in South America is in Brazil and has a Portuguese name, implying it was founded after the colonisation of Brazil, and that wizards do take part in colonisation as well.

The Japanese school is named "Mahoutokoro" which is just what you get when you type "Magic Place" into Google Translate. It makes no actual sense in Japanese. Also they play Quidditch there for some reason.

Wizards have their own diseases that only they can contract, implying that magic is indeed a biological construct that can be identified and probably isolated.

Muggle borns were originally called "Magbobs" because Britain is not a real place

Wizard Chess is just regular chess but with an unnecessary gimmick slapped onto it. As such, this implies that wizards were in fact the first tech bros.

Harry Potter has a slave and also lives in a house where the ancestors of his slave have their severed heads displayed on the wall. One of Harry's final thoughts in the series is to have his slave make him a sandwich.

Slaves.

The enchantment that detects underage magic can only tell if magic is used in the vicinity of an underage person, and not who actually did it (see Dobbys levitation spell in book 2).

What this means for children in magic households where presumably spells are common is unknown

I could go on, but its getting late here.

Now you may be wondering why some of these nonsensical choices were made, and in fact to explain it, fans have come up with the popular theory that Joanne is a bad writer.

Alright I'm back.

Ron early in the first books, tries a spell that resembles a two line rhyme from a Shakespeare play, despite no other spell sounding like this ever. On further readings, this may have been an early hint by the author that she has no talent.

The Japanese magic school students wear robes in the same style as Hogwarts, despite those robes being a very western conception of what a wizard should look like.

Wizards are easily entertained, as evidenced by the fact that they just stared at the surface of the lake for an hour while the competitors did the second Triwizard Tournament challenge

There is a magical definition of "good food"

Filch claims he used to hang students by their ankles as corporal punishment, implying Hogwarts did that kind of thing still in the 1930's-ish

The first book claims "there is a lot more to magic than just waving your wand around and saying some words."

For the rest of the series, magic is done by just waving your wand around and usually saying some words.

In fairness, there does seem to be an extra component: mental concentration.

That usually amounts to just "think really hard about what you want to happen"

Non verbal magic is said to be exceedingly difficult.

Hagrid does it several times in the first book despite being a high school dropout and using a broken wand. Literally built different I guess

Modern brooms have invisible cushions on them so they're more comfortable to ride

It's only referred to as the 'prefects bath', and it would appear that it is a giant bath where popular teens of all genders get naked and bathe together.

Why the builders thought this was okay, but had to put security on the womens dorm staircases is unknown

Okay maybe I have undercredited since the age of adulthood in this world is 17 so like I dunno, maybe they have a lower age of consent as well. I'm gonna veer off that one cause yikes

Despite it also being invented in the early 19th century along with the train and camera (both used in the series), no one in the series uses a pen, nor do they use paper, despite that being popularised in the 15th century

Goblins believe that they own everything they make forever - giving it to someone else is just considered a temporary loan and they reserve the right to request it back at any time

Harry doesn't give a shit about this and kills a goblin that brings this up so he can have a sword

Ive woken up and chosen violence. Much like the big bad werewolf, Fenrir Greyback chose violence when he "chose to spread the werewolf curse to as many kids as possible."

Btw, the author stated the werewolf curse is a metaphor for AIDS

Completely missed this, but the glaring fact that everyone shits on Hermione for trying to free the slaves, because "they like being slaves"

Instant executions and judicial killings are really common in this universe. Sirius Black is caught and has his soul eaten on the same night. Newt Scamander is found and thrown into a Bond villain, government endorsed death trap within like 5 mins.

Also Harry is a cop

The hospital is called "St Mungo's" which implies, again, that some Wizards are Christian, but also that they are capable of being canonised by the Pope.

Extrapolating: since there is no 'real' St Mungo, we must presume Mungo erased the Pope's memory after becoming a saint

Okay this one's my bad, apparently there is a real St Mungo. That name is not on the author, but simply the Scottish

Nagini (Voldemort's pet snake that he milks, uses to store a piece of his soul, and is beheaded by Neville), used to be an asian woman with a curse.

Grindlewald (fashioned as the Wizard Hitler before Voldemort) wanted to take over the muggle world because he had a vision of WW2 and the Holocaust and thought "maybe we shouldn't let that happen."

The heroes of the FB movies of course think he's going too far

Harry's life was saved when his mother sacrificed her life to protect him - which in turn implies no one in Voldemort's ~10 years of terror sacrificed themselves to save another while in his presence

Unsurprisingly, the value of a gold galleon is extremely vague. The author once stated it's about 5 pounds, but when its buying power is compared to some items, it seems to be more like 25 pounds.

For reference, the Weasleys have one galleon in their vault

Also a reminder that Sirius Black and Hagrid had a magical flying motorbike, so again, not too sure why a flying ford anglia was treated with contempt and criminal investigation

The Screaming Shack is considered dangerous due to the students believing it is "haunted". However, students see ghosts in school all the time and they can't do anything.

This is actually consistent world building because in Book 1, Hermione says "wizards have terrible logic"

The Marauders say they learned the secrets of Hogwarts by exploring it at night in their animal forms. However, teachers, prefects, ghosts, and living paintings patrol the halls at night for errant students, so I don't know how they did that, or even safely since Lupin a werewolf

This has nothing to do with worldbuilding, but Harry and Ron express disgust at the concept of bouillabaisse, and I just find it funny that being magical doesn't stop you from being British

There are several cases of wizards having fertile children with "non-humans", such as Prof Flitwick being descended from a goblin pairing, and Fleur having a Veela grandmother. This again begs the question of why these "other races" are designated as both seperate and unequal

Hagrid says the reason they stay separate from muggles is because "otherwise they'd want them to solve all their problems."

Problems wizards could solve include: world hunger, debilitating diseases and injuries, energy crises, safety from genocidal wizards

The only named Jewish wizards all have the surname Goldstein.

Despite truth serum and mind reading being a thing, wizards use trial by judge/council to decide criminal cases and often arrive at wrongful convictions

Quick break to remind everyone that Animorphs was the better YA series that had child soldiers participate in a war that explicitly traumatises them as they are forced to commit war crimes - and also has fun moments like finding out space parasites use oatmeal as crystal meth

And THAT author has a trans daughter and is currently just staying in her lane and living her best life with a legacy that remains untarnished

Despite presumably demanding unwavering loyalty from his followers, Voldemort never uses the easily accessible magic technique that forces a person to keep their promise made to you upon penalty of death

Also despite the death eaters all having tattoos (which presumably, Voldemort only gives to his followers since it allows him to summon them), having that tattoo does not prevent you from feigning innocence in the trial by judge to escape conviction for magic genocide.

Wizards aren't familiar with the concept of a gun, despite guns predating other pieces of technology that wizards do use

The Minister of Magic visits each Muggle UK Prime Minister whenever they come into office, just to tell them that magic exists and they'll handle it in case their worlds collide.

This means canonically, Margaret Thatcher met a wizard

Harry's grandfather's magic hair gel (that is the source of their fortune) is manufactured in China in just the most hilarious case of unnecessary choices to make

There is a newspaper called 'The New York Ghost' because Joanne got paid already and doesn't need to really put in a lot of effort anymore

The Weasleys had only male children for several generations, broken only recently by Ginny (unless we do the trans Ginny theory which would be very funny)

The Weasley twins had a map for 2 years that showed a man was sleeping in the brother's bed and did nothing about it

TW: rape

Love is literally magic. Like, you can study and quantify how much love is around and the reason that Voldemort is defeated is because he can't love or be loved, because he's the result of rape (cannot stress enough that this is the author's words, not mine)

Wizards keep to a very literal "equal but separate, but we're more equal than the others" belief when it comes to goblins, house elves, centaurs, and other humanoid and intelligent creatures. Dumbledore mentions it once and it's forgotten for the rest of the books like 'oh well'

When you 'vanish' an object, it is said to enter a state of 'being everything'. It's unknown what exactly this means, but it sounds kinda like death, and students are given cats to vanish as practice

Luck is a verifiable phenomenon and can be influenced by a luck potion that makes everything go your way. No one attempts to use this potion again after it is introduced, despite the way that its drawback can be circumvented by having a food taster

Dumbledore was very well aware that the Dursleys were subjecting him to pretty extreme abuse, but he figured that it's okay because that shit builds character and he figured Harry was gonna die young anyway.

Harry learns this and proceeds to name his child after him

There is a demonstrable way to prove that someone has made a prophecy, because a recording of it will magically appear in the Ministry of Magic. Despite this easy fact checking method, characters either pretend to make prophecies or doubt the existence of prophecies

While mixed magic marriages exist, Muggles aren't allowed in the village of Hogsmeade, effectively making it a racially segregated town, and preventing anyone who is married to a Muggle from moving there

There doesn't appear to be any magical orphanage, foster care system, or child protective services (I mean Hogwarts dangers should make that obvious) since Voldemort was left to grow up in a Muggle orphanage, despite Hogwarts knowing about his existence from a young age

There's no equipment standardisation in Quidditch and you can literally just buy a faster broom than your opponents and win that way

Also despite the fact that Hogwarts can identify the name and location of any child in the UK that uses magic, they somehow missed the fact that Voldemort has a daughter (yes, he had a daughter) and she ends up doing time shenanigans

You can apparently hire 'dwarfs' to dress up as cupid and deliver Valentines messages for you. Whether they are magical creatures or humans with dwarfism is unclear, but it's still kinda yikes either way

Hermione supposedly worked at the Ministry of Magic after graduating and focused on non-human rights, but Harry still owns Kreacher 11 years after graduation so I guess all she did was make the slaves more comfortable?

Harry and Draco's sons are gay and in love and accidentally pushed an alternate timeline Cedric Diggory down the alt-right pipeline by making him look like a beta male. This is 100% real and not fanfiction.

Staff enthusiastically teach students how to make a date-rape potion as part of a Valentine's day celebration

Okay I think I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel now so I can finally stop.

Anyway, normally all this stupid shit is fine in a children's book, but HP morphed into this weird grown up thing by book 5, then it expanded with Pottermore and the FB movies so fuck it we ball

Like I wouldn't go around analysing the world building implications of Willy Wonka or Mathilda because they're silly stories and stayed that way. But HP tries to pass itself off as this deep world with adult themes and it just really needed to stay in its lane 😩

Oh and the author hates trans people so fuck it lmao