Thread by @10thmusemoon

[ #moshang ]
SQH had a marriage of convenience in his early years as a peak lord, he just neglected to tell anyone. His husband will be at the 1st event that SQQ is coordinating for the demon realm.
-

It is the middle of the week when Shang Qinghua ruins Luo Binghe's life.

This isn't particularly surprising as his presence is a constant disappointment at best and an outright insult to his marriage at worse.

There are many things Luo Binghe regrets in his life, and near the top of the list is not being present to stop the relationship between Shang Qinghua and Shen Qingqiu from ever developing.

That this mousy excuse of a man /dared/ to approach his Shizun in his absences, that he touches him so /freely/, and speaks to him without respect would be a death sentence for anyone else.

However, Shizun is inexplicably fond of him.

While his shizun is precious and Binghe adores his every action, he is just too kind to those undeserving of his attention.

If it was up to /him/, they would close the door to their home and never open it to any pest or beast.

/Especially/ not Shang Qinghua.

Or Liu Qingge.

Or Yue Qingyuan, for that matter.

Luo Binghe sours at the thought and slices his vegetables thinner than he intended.

Yet /another/ reason to hate the man's presence.

Despite his feelings on the matter, Shang Qinghua has his uses.

Luo Binghe isn't stupid, nor is he blind.

He is aware that a large part of his empire's success is directly attributed to the An Ding Peak Lord's involvement.

His years working for Cang Qiong Mountain Peak and managing the Northern Dessert for Mobei Jun have made him uniquely qualified to oversee and advise on the administrated aspects of the demon realm's sovereignty.

Even the higher ranking demons in his court bitterly acknowledge this much.

The Northern Dessert and Mobei Jun's rule have flourished at his hand, he has built pivotal alliances and drafted invaluable trade routes.

Which is /fine/.

Luo Binghe just wants to stop finding him in various states of undress with his /husband/.

When he approached Shen Qingqiu about it, tactfully and already on the brink of tears, the aghast look he gave him was comforting, to say the least.

"Binghe! With your /Shang-shishu/?!"

He explained it away by saying that their hometown, which no longer exists, had much more lax ideas about propriety and clothing.

It merely gets hot, nothing more, nothing less.

It's about /comfort/, Binghe.

With Shang Qinghua? Please, I have /self respect/, Binghe.

But Luo Binghe has been watching his Shizun with the precision of Spotted Hawk Lion for the majority of his life.

He /sees/ things. And he's all too familiar with the way that his Shizun /doesn't./

Specifically, the ease in which the exist within one another.

Luo Binghe has /never/ heard him laugh as hard as he does when he slips into their strange dialect with Shang Qinghua.

Nor has he seen him be so relaxed with his physicality with anyone else.

Aside from hitting him with one of his ever present fans, Luo Binghe has seen him shove, nudge, hip bump, and oddly enough, slap hands (??) with him.

In the presence of Shang Qinghua, he drops the image of the Immortal Cultivator Shen Qingqiu and becomes no different from the men he sees sharing drinks at taverns.

There is /no one/ else that has this affect on him.

And the inverse is true as well.

Sneaky, fidgety Shang Qinghua, before the Xiu Ya sword, develops an audacity that makes /no sense/.

Luo Binghe has witness men /weep/ after his Shizun has verbally eviscerated them. Shang Qinghua merely laughs and antagonizes him further.

They make no sense.

He has shared more than one meaningful glance with Mobei Jun about it in their presence.

And /that's another thing/!

Luo Binghe throws the vegetables into pan so viciously that oil splashes out.

Shen Qingqiu looks up from where he is hunched over some scrolls.

"Is everything okay, Binghe?"

"Yes, Shizun!"

He goes back to looking over agenda for the upcoming meeting in the demon realm.

His beautiful, wonderful Shizun, had offered to help Luo Binghe more with the politics of being the demon emperor.

He would not hear Binghe's pleas to forget about it, to rest and relax in their home, for he already works enough.

But in the same way Luo Binghe knows how to get what he wants from his Shizun, Shen Qingqiu knows what strings will play his husband to his tune.

The difference is, however, that Shen Qingqiu's face tends to be too thin to actually act on that knowledge.

But when he does!

Oh! Luo Binghe's heart has always so /so/ weak to him.

All it took was his Shizun's pretty blush and a whisper of, "I want to be taken seriously as- as your...empress."

It was like having a lighting bolt shoot through his body (again) and directly into his dick!

And so, Shen Qingqiu got what he wanted after several rounds of shaking and quivering beneath, above, and around his husband.

Binghe suspects that this whole plot is, once again, Shang Qinghua's fault.

He had previously tempted his Shizun with stories of demons and demonic rituals and beasts he had bare witness to during events such as these.

And his Shizun is nothing if not curious about those monstrous things that would drive any lesser man away.

Luo Binghe includes himself in that statement.

As a result of this all, Luo Binghe has the displeasure of seeing Shang Qinghua in his /home/, bent over documents with his Shizun, more often that he would have ever wanted.

Sometimes, even, alone!!

If only Mobei Jun would actually /do/ something about his feelings.

Luo Binghe anxieties would be (very, very, slightly) lessened if only he knew that Shang Qinghua was spoken for.

In that moment, if Luo Binghe had a System of his own, it would haven been congratulating him for unlocking a new side quest.

But he does not!

He is unaware of ways the world around him reshapes itself specifically around him.

It is merely a fact of his life that things will eventually work out for him.

But first, they will get worse.

Narratively, that's what makes the pay off more satisfying.

Shen Yuan is in the middle of taking a sip of tea before Airplane ruins all his hard work.

They're in the final days of preparation before all the powerful players of the demon realm coalesce to bow before Luo Binghe and start renegotiating alliances and trade contracts.

And Shen Yuan is the event planner for it.

It's a little stressful!

Okay, it's REALLY stressful!!

But he sees the way that Luo Binghe is dismissive about his obligations as the demon emperor and he sees the self loathing that comes with this acknowledging this side of him.

And so Shen Yuan, like anyone invested in the protagonist's growth would be, is stepping in to help!

To show Luo Binghe that he respects and even...loves... this side of him too!

Also, it's really fucking cool!!

Shen Yuan wants to see the aspects of demon culture that he isn't exposed to when they're trying to kill him and his disciples.

Airplane has been seeing that shit for /years/! He doesn't even /care/ to learn about it either!

"The System just filled it out bro, idk."

Shen Yuan is not about to miss out on all this extra content because of Luo Binghe's inability to accept his demon side!

And Shen Yuan really, REALLY, wishes he would hurry up with that!

He knows, KNOWS, that wives #357, #587, and #600 were able to unlock the more....demonic physical aspects still sealed in Binghe.

In another life, Shen Yuan /paid/ for those paywall exclusive chapters and reread them an obscene amount of times.

As the only person being subjected to being speared on that Heavenly Pillar on the regular, he deserves to experience it!!

Let! Him! Be! A! Monster fucker!!!

Ahem.

But back to Shang Qinghua.

Airplane is reviewing the guest list and checking the seating arrangements to make sure that Shen Yuan's ignorance of content /never/ mentioned in PIDW doesn't cause a blood bath or orgy when he suddenly perks taps at scroll.

"Hey! My husband's going to be here!" Shen Yuan spits his tea out on one of the draft agendas when Airplane looks up and asks, "Should I sit with him? Do you think my King would mind?"

In the kitchen, Luo Binghe drops the iron pan and sends the vegetables sprawling.

"You're WHAT?"

"YOU'RE MARRIED?"

Airplane has no right to look at them like /they're/ the crazy ones. "Yeah?"

"SINCE /WHEN/?"

He taps the wooden end of his brush against his chin and looks up as the ceiling as he counts back the years. "Maybe, 25 years?"

Shen Yuan feels /faint/. His hand is /trembling./

Luo Binghe has abandoned the kitchen to sit next to him, leaning eagerly across the table to eagerly stare at Shang Qinghua like child meeting Santa.

WTF, Binghe!

"Shang-shishu!" What is with this sudden show of respect??? "Does Mobei Jun /know/?"

Oh my /god/.

Shen Yuan is going to be /sick/.

There's no way he /wouldn't/ know but there's no way he would have allowed this to happen if he did he is-

Airplane smiles at them confused. "He...should? My King and Zhangmen-shixiong renew trade agreements with him every um.... five years? His name is on all the rapid requisition forms?"

Shen Yuan doesn't know how many surprises he can take in a short amount of time.

"Zhangmen-shixiong, /knows/?"

Airplane breathes out a puff of air from his nose as if growing tired about the conversation about his /husband/ who is he /married/ to and has been /married/ to for /25 years/.

"Okay, okay, so not only does he know because we have a /trading contract/ with him and his people and have had it for /25/ years BUT he had to have approved the spousal stipend. It's a line budget item!"
Luo Binghe looks overcome with glee. "Shishu, there's a spousal stipend?"

[[ okay i am taking a break but i am having a GREAT time with this, if you are seeing this please suggest names for SQH's southern water demon husband ]]

The conversation gets derailed until Shang Qinghua sends for the spousal stipend paperwork to be retrieved, in triplicate.

Luo Binghe is not taking any chances of it being misfiled or lost.

It's not that they /need/ the money, the peak lord title comes with discretionary funds and Binghe is literally a demon emperor.

But it's the principal of the matter.

Luo Binghe is mentally cataloging their finest inksticks to use for this later.

Not only will this paperwork further solidify his title as Shen Qingqiu's husband in the archives of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, but he will be forcing a reminder of his marriage before Yue Qingyuan during every budget meeting and audit.

The sect leader will, quite literally, be /paying/ Luo Binghe for being married to Shizun.

This has quickly become one of the best days of his life, he can't wait until Mobei Jun arrives so he can see his miserable reaction.

Sha Hualing is going to be /so/ mad she missed it

Shen Yuan loves his husband, but he understands how some people may be unnerved by him.

Right now is such an instance.

Binghe has made his way back to the kitchen and is reorganizing every item in every drawer with the most maniacal look on his face.

Binghe, just what are you thinking over there???

He takes advantage of his distraction to glare at Airplane. "SO?"

He doesn't even bother to look up from the agenda he's rewriting for what feels like the 20th time. "So what?"

Honestly, he can't stand him!

Shen Yuan doesn't even bother to hold back his sneer. "Who is it?"

"You don't know him."

This shitty author!!!

"I highly doubt that, who is the one that forgets what he wrote half the time?"

He cannot even count the amount of times they've been led astray by wrong information.

Airplane throws his head back and lets out the most world weary sigh before pining him with a Look (TM).

And listen, Shen Yuan is a peak lord too. He knows what he's trying to do here.

But he will die before he falls to a mediocre Shizun Look of Displeasure(TM) that leaves most of their disciples apologizing and backing out the door.

He raises his a single eyebrow back.

He's practice this look, he knows it's effective.

Airplane drops his brush and runs both hands through his hair to collect it up in it's usual bun before letting it fall again.

Shen Yuan glances a the freckle he has just below his year before looking away again and clearing his throat. "Well?"

"Like, no, bro, seriously. You /don't/ know him." Airplane's eyes dart over to unsubtle look at Luo Binghe puttering around before switching to English.

"He wasn't in anything, I didn't write him. He's just some guy with a beneficial route for transporting goods."

And that's-

Well.

Hm.

Shen Yuan doesn't know why the discovery that Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky marrying a System generated NPC is making his stomach bubble in anger.

He takes a deep breath and pictures putting that feeling in a box in an empty room in his mind palace and then locking the door.

There!

It's fine.

This is fine.

This is-

Wait.

"And Zhangmen-shixiong was just COOL with you marrying a demon???"

Shen Yuan is /offended/ on Luo Binghe's behalf. How DARE he treat the protagonist like this when /Shang Qinghua/ of all people-

"Well, um.....he um-" Airplane shrinks into himself and brings his shoulders up to his ear. "/Technically/ he just knows that my husband and his family transport goods up and down the river and protect supplies."

Well that makes sense.

"He doesn't know that um, he is usually what supplies is being protected from? You know how demons are with human stuff."

He does.

Shen Yuan may or may not be bribing his way into Binghe's court with all sorts of random baubles.

"So what kind of demon is he?"

Shang Qinghua jaw drops as he leans forward with both hands gripping the table. "BRO! You can't just /ask/ a someone what kind of demon his husband is!?"

Shen Yuan splutters back, "What? It's a valid question! It not like it's demon-racism!"

Isn't it?

"ISN'T IT?"

Luo Binghe, drawn by the sounds of his husband in distress, menacingly makes his way over to set down a tray of cakes and glare at Shang Qinghua.

"Junshang, is it or is it not /rude/ to ask someone what kind of demon they are?"

asdfdfla!
Airplane dares to involve his husband!?

And worst of all, Binghe slowly turns to Shen Yuan with a concerned look. "Shizun.....that's kind of rude." Shen Yuan feels his face turning warm and the flush spreading to his roots.

Is he-

DEMON RACIST?

[[ they're so fucking stupid, i love them ]]

also pls vote on if SQH's husband should be physically similar to MBJ and have him be offended that SQH married a knock off or completely Opposite and have him have a complex of it.

If there is a funnier MXTX option, pls tell me

Mobei Jun is having a wretched week.

Shang Qinghua is usually in the Northern Palace this time of year.

It lands between his sect's annual administrative duties and and those of the Northern court's.

In a normal year, they would spend this week trying to hunt an elusive item that Shang Qinghua had heard about or read about or whatever excuse he chooses to provide.

Mobei Jun has long since accepted that he won't press him on his Seer abilities.

They've never even discussed them, which is the safest route to take.

This king can only imagine the attempts that would be made to steal him away.

Up until his ascension, it was vital to not draw any attention to him.

It was one of the reasons that he had held off on making any more advances in his courtship.

Their cultural misunderstanding didn't help either.

But after that talk with Luo Binghe, when Shang Qinghua so blatantly put his feelings on the table, things are different.

All these years that he had thought he had been indifferent to his light beatings were a simple misunderstanding.

This whole, time, since the day they've met, he acted been completely and utterly /pathetic./

Mobei Jun's heart skips a beat if he thinks about it too much.

It's been /decades/.

They are practically childhood sweethearts.

If Mobei Jun hadn't spent so many of those early years suspicious, waiting for the ball to drop, the knife to slip, they would practically be married by now.

But things are going well.

He had been worried after Shang Qinghua's disappearance, heart broken, that things would end between them and the courtship would end before it could officially begin.

But things are well, they have eased into a rhythm with one another.

And things would be /better/, Mobei Jun thinks bitterly, if Shang Qinghua hadn't been taken away be the emperor's consort for the last three weeks.

Mobei Jun snarls just thinking about it.

He understands that things are different for humans, /that/ has been made clear.

But for Luo Binghe's consort to be constantly hitting Shang Qinghua when there hasn't been a /single/ sign of reciprocation?

In front of Junshang /and/ Mobei Jun?

It's /insulting/.

But that will end soon.

Mobei Jun is going to utilize this upcoming meeting to announce his intentions to the entirety of the Demon Realm.

It will be clear to all, that Shang Qinghua belongs to the North.

He will be recognized as this King's one and only Consort.

The thought sits at the forefront of his mind as Mobei Jun prepares for the upcoming days.

There is much work to be done to finally take this last step.

He has commissioned clothing and jewelry and plans on picking up Shang Qinghua today to make sure they fit or have time to take them in for tailoring if adjustments are needed.

Mobei Jun will have to restrain himself and make his interest so obvious.

While he typically loathes being in the palace of the Southern realm there is one benefit to the heat.

Shang Qinghua, in the way of his people, is more susceptible to wearing demon fashions.

Open collars, sheer fabrics.

Mobei Jun can hardly wait.

[[ going to sleep for tonight! Will continue tomorrow ]

Me @ mobei jun:

Also just putting it out there cause I know some people feel a kind of way about it during thread fics but

i absolutely dont mind and even welcome reactions in the replies as im writing.

im having a good time, i like to see you are too!
also for new people, my ao3 is in my bio

Shang Qinghua doesn't understand what the big deal is.

His marriage is old news and none of them were even around to be invited to it!

In fact, the only celebratory gifts he received were from his first sons, Yue Qingyuan and the OG Scum Villain himself!

Yue Qingyuan gave him 2 tea sets that he still uses to this day!

He kept one in the leisure house and had the other sent to his husband in Qinghe!

How thoughtful!

Truly Zhangmen-shixiong's elder brother vibe is unmatched.

It /is/ a nice set too.

In fact, he uses it so often that it is his King's preferred set to use!

Shang Qinghua can tell by the way small twinge of his lips he makes when he serves him with it.

Which makes him use it all the more!

Shen Jiu, on the other hand, in touching moment that brought genuine tears to his eyes, told him he was already doing a better job than the useless piece of shit that held the position.

For a new peak lord, that's the highest praise!

He did, of course, follow this up with the first 10 requisitions of supplies that needed be delivered /immediately/ to test if this alliance was actually beneficial, but that's just a quirk he had!

His prickly son even gave him a bag of melon seeds to snack on while they worked through the logistics of it.

They dranked from his new tea set, bitched about some of their regular merchants, and got it done all in one.

All in all, it was a good night,

Say what you will about the OG Scum Villain, but out of all the peak lords, he is the one that turned in his shit impeccably, early, and /often/.

He was also /such/ a bitch, but it was hilarious to watch him turn that on others.

Sometimes, Shang Qinghua misses him.

He will, of course, never admit this to Cucumber-bro, because he already has enough issues about being in that body, but sometimes he just /gets/ Yue Qingyuan's longing gazes.

Shang Qinghua pauses for a moment to wonder if he should tell their sect leader that one of their biggest contracts has been with demons.

It /might/ help to further the image of demon-human alliances or it might make him qi deviate.

Poor Zhangmen-shixiong has been enough.

He'll just keep this lie going for his sake.

If only he could be as cool with it as his king had been!
Shang Qinghua had done the xianxia equivalent of asking his demon lord for time off for the wedding when he handed him the invitation and he just glanced at it and said 'go'

He did, technically, spend significantly more time looking over the proposed trade alliance that would come out of Shang Qinghua presence at the wedding but that's normal!

He had snorted at Shang Qinghua being the main point of contact, which okay /ouch/, but that just meant that the alliance was through Shang Qinghua and Mobei Jun!

It was good ammunition to support his eventual ascension to the throne.

It had, in fact, worked out so well for the Northern Kingdom that Mobei Jun signed off on the agreement every few years with little to no negotiations.

Some times, Shang Qinghua got a nice little vacation out of it!

His king would generously give him a coin purse and some demon appropriate gifts for renewing the alliance and Shang Qinghua would get spend a few days in the south lounging in the sun and gossiping with his husband.

It was really, rather nice!

And surprisingly charitable of his king!

So even though Shang Qinghua is a little nervous about his husband and his King finally meeting, he's also a little hopeful?

He's pretty sure his King and Nie Mingjue will get along fine, they have similar blood thirsty interests after all and can beat each other up to their hearts content.

But well, Nie Huaisang is another story.

He has a little bit of a reputation amongst demons for being /odd./

He's a human lover!

Which is to say, by demon standards, he's a monster fucker.

Nie Huaisang is known to do whatever he can to avoid fighting. Which, yeah! Relatable!

But given that the Nie are known for this skills and prowess with sabers, this makes him the odd one out.

The younger son of the Nie would rather sit around making and painting fans and writing poetry rather than decapitate someone.

Again, relatable!

But demons don't /make/ artistic or non-utilitarian crafts. Culturally, it's just not done!

That's why things from the human realm are so highly prized when bartering.

They could give a shit about yet another sapphire but macrame?

Sign them up!

So when a young and recently promoted Shang Qinghua went to investigate why yet /another/ of their merchants disappeared during a delivery, it worked out!

Nie Huaisang had shifted into his humanoid form and kept an eye on Shang Qinghua while he investigated and was amused by what he saw.

This tiny cultivator was surprisingly aware of, and willing, to talk to the local demons to get information.

He didn't treat them any differently than he did humans.

He was polite when they were (by demon standards) polite, and cussed them out when they needed to be cussed out.

It was different, it was /interesting/.

So when he approached Shang Qinghua to tell him his family was responsible for the dying merchants, he came in with a plan.

They were willing to stop killing the merchants and even offer security as they went up the rivers and coastlines of their territory if they got paid with human goods, a small amount of coin, and a marriage to seal the deal.

Shang Qinghua was in tears!

He had been stressing over the Cang Qiong budgets that had taken a toll from all of this and here, wrapped in green silk, was his solution!

Human merchants and traders had become more and more hesitant to do such a long delivery around a dangerous route and were charging them exorbitant prices.

But there were certain cultivation necessary materials that could only come from this area!

All the peaks were breathing down his neck to solve it!

So when the solution presented itself, he jumped at the opportunity!

It's not like he would ever actually see his husband or be expected to perform any husbandly duties for the Nie!

Their marriage was also a great human cover for why they were being charged so little when the going rate around these routes were high for everyone else.

Cang Qiong got their supplies quickly and often and the Nie become known for being wealthy in human crafts and trinkets.

Seeing the success of this, Shang Qinghua applied to the North and it worked out!

He also got a good friend out of it in his husband!

It was a win win for everyone involved!

And if Shang Qinghua occasionally bemoaned about his non-existant relationship with his king, it was fine!

His husband would get that look in his eyes like he was laughing at him, pat his shoulder with a clawed hand, and say, "Ah Husband, I don't know why Mobei Jun would hit you so much, I really don't know."

Which wasn't helpful, but it was comforting!

Shang Qinghua is ruminating over all of this when he opens the door to his leisure house, Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe trickling in after him.

His son had uncharacteristically offered to walk him back and Cucumber-bro had made a face like his was keeping a frog in his mouth and joined them.

Weird!

Usually Luo Binghe can't wait to get him out the bamboo house!

There's been so many times when the door hasn't even fully shut before he hears someone slam into it and a very Cucumber-like moan.

Ugh! He could throw up in jealousy!

When is /he/ going to be getting railed on the regular?

There really was no justice for this Author god.

Shang Qinghua can't help but smile at the gust of cold air that hits him when he enters his home.

There sitting on the commissioned Qing Dynasty equivalent of a couch, as if it was a throne, is Mobei Jun.

It has been a few weeks since he saw him last and Shang Qinghua takes a moment to appreciate the view.

As per usual, his chest is out and on display but he has opted to wear a necklace with several little silver chains and beads.

His robes are a deeper shade of blue than his casual dress and catch the light when he moves.

He must have met with someone important today to be showing off like this!

He really is too handsome!

"My King!"

Mobei Jun stares and then blinks slowly.

It has the endearing effect of making him look like a cat and Shang Qinghua's heart thumps a little at the sight.

"Qinghua."

And what's this???? The corner of his lips have moved up a few degrees!!!

Shang Qinghua can't help the flush that comes over him.

The meeting must have gone really /really/ well for his king to be in such a good move!!

Lucky!

Mobei Jun slightly turns and nods his head at Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu before getting up and turning to grab something.

Shang Qinghua, distracted by the tits on display, had somehow missed the giant mahogany chest in the room!

Mobei Jun hesitated for a moment and set it down in front of him before opening it.

Inside are very carefully robes in rich shades of blue and shiny black.

There are parts made of cheer fabric that also has a glistening look to it.

Sitting on top is a wooden tray with sections separating out various bracelets, necklaces, and earrings.

Shang Qinghua sighs.

Not this again.

For all their differences, humans and demons are different, this is the same.

He and Zhangmen-Shixiong had to stage a similar intervention right before the Immortal Alliance Conference for their more wayward shidis.

While it shouldn’t surprise anyone that the peak lords of the fight peak and beasts peak aren’t very preoccupied with how they dress, appearances must be kept!

Ugh, bureaucracy.

This isn’t even the first time his king has done this.

As Shang Qinghua’s responsibilities in the Northern Realm grew and he accompanied his king to more important events, Mobei Jun would occasionally show up with something like this.

Shang Qinghua would spend the evening modeling the clothes as Mobei Jun silently watched from his bed and took notes if adjustments were needed.

It was a little embarrassing!

You would think, after all these years amongst demons, that he would be trusted to dress himself!

It’s not like he wants to embarrass the North either!

But the thing is, he knows Mobei Jun puts in effort into getting him work appropriate clothes.

They’re /nice/.

Snowflake, his favorite scribe imp, once even told him that the tailor he goes through is of great renown.

They don’t accept any requests from anyone less than royalty and only after they’ve received the carcass of an exceedingly rare beast as a down payment!

So Shang Qinghua usually shuts up, wears the clothes when needed, and then keeps them neatly tucked away at the back of his closet in the North.

Mobei Jun always looks disappointed when he doesn’t wear them again but hey!

They are TOO fine for someone like him to be wearing on the regular. If he wore them outside of events people would get the wrong idea about his importance to the king!

Demons gossip just as much as humans, if not more!

So while he would usually play along, this time he can’t!

Cucumber gives a tiny gasp from behind and Shang Qinghua can’t help but notice the smug look on his king’s face. He tips his head forward and looks at him expectantly.

Shang Qinghua steels his nerves and sends a prayer to any god that might be listening.

“My King, these are beautiful. As always, you have excellent tastes.”

Is he-

Smizing!?

Oh god, he feels like an asshole.

He closes the lid and looks up nervously.

He has to phrase this so carefully to avoid offending Mobei Jun, his spoiled king can get so sulky when he doesn’t get his way

That Shang Qinghua, unable to deny him anything, is partially responsible for that is neither here nor there

“However, I’m, given that we will be in the southern realm to renegotiate alliances under junshang’s reign, um…” he takes a deep breath as the smug look on his king’s face slowly disappears.

“And while my loyalty is first and foremost to you and the North” realizing his mistake he glances back to frantically add “and of course to Junshang.”

Luo Binghe nods Shang Qinghua can see /he/ is fighting back a smile.

Asshole.

Here goes nothing.

“it is important for us to emphasize our ties to the southern demons and honor long standing alliances.

And so, um, with respect to that, this lowly servant planned to attend in the colors and dress of his husband’s clan, our allies, the Nie.”

[[ this is my stopping point for the night! Please vote on which of the stages of grief Mobei will be in first ]]

Almost forgot!

Did NHS and SQH fuck?

1. Yes once when they wed
2. Yes, they were casual fuck buddies
3. No, but they act like it

There is an agonizingly long pause where Luo Binghe expects the temperature to drop and possibly kill Shang Qinghua. He makes a show of adjusting his stance and steps in front of Shen Qingqiu as a precautionary measure.

The move is equal parts to protect him and to stop him from jumping in the way to protect Shang Qinghua.

Luo Binghe is still weighing the pros and cons of not intervening in time should Mobei Jun go mad with jealousy.

This might work out in his favor either way.

As long as Shizun doesn’t get into one of his self sacrificial moods and dies again.

Unfortunately, the probability of that happening is higher than Luo Binghe is comfortable with.

Mobei Jun remains eerily still in contrast to Shang Qinghua who has started to wring his hands like some sort of rodent.

“Um, my King? Did you hear-“

“You’re not.”

“I’m not…what?”

Mobei Jun straightens and outwardly emotes his confusion. Ah, Shang Qinghua has broken him. Does he need to promote Sha Hualing?

Binghe grimaces at the thought.

“You’re not married.”

Shang Qinghua’s eyebrows rise as his jaw drops. “I am!!”

“You’re not!” Comes the growl. “When would you have had the time!?” Behind him, Shizun let’s out a snort.

Luo Binghe would have to agree. He doesn’t know anyone as busy as the An Ding Peak lord. That he found his husband while working /both/ jobs makes more sense than it should.

Hm.

Is /that/ a viable strategy to use with Shizun?

Shang Qinghua let’s out a frustrated shriek and throws up his hands.

“Why does everyone keep saying that!? My king I hand delivered the wedding invitation, /you gave me leave to go./”

Well, damn.

Binghe turns to make eye contact with Shen Qingqiu and sees him giving him a Look that quiet clearly says /can you believe this shit?/

For all the issues that Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu had to go through to get to this point in their relationship, at least they don’t have deal with whatever is going on /there/.

Realization dawns on Mobei Jun and his demon mark flashes a lighter shade of blue. “It’s been two decades? You’ve been married for two decades!”

Shang Qinghua, surely in possession of whatever death wish must be mandatory to become a peak lord pipes up, “25 years, my king!”

Mobei Jun staggers back as if struck. “This whole time…” He brings a clawed hand up against his chest and visibly swallows. “/I/ sent you down there. /Repeatedly./ ” he takes another step back, nearly bumping into a writing desk.

“Did you /See/…..was this for the North’s benefit? For this King’s claim?”

Mobei Jun looks like he’s going to be sick, his hand is trembling.

Shang Qinghua, while still confused, finally starts to realize that there’s been some miscommunication somewhere.

Does-

Does his king think he /pimped/ him out?!

Is /that/ what has him looking so distraught over this? Shang Qinghua can’t help but feel a little fond for this shows of concern!

While technically that is one way to interpret what happened, it was Shang Qinghua’s own choice!

Separate from the North! Though the fact that it could ultimately benefit his favorite character also had added a layer of appeal.

He needs to clear this up! He can’t have him feeling some type of way about this, especially not guilt!

The temperature starts to fluctuate and Shang Qinghua is impressed it’s taken this long for Mobei Jun’s control to slip.

He really has grown over the years!

Very carefully, he closes the lid of the chest and starts slowly, as if approaching a frighten animal, making his way over to Mobei Jun.

Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky has seen his king face down assassination attempts and ferocious warriors in battle without flinching and yet here, in the leisure house they have spent years together in, he tries to take another step back from /Shang Qinghua/.

Ah, his poor king must really be feeling guilty about this.

The really must be friends now.

He’s not sure why that thought feels so bitter.

Pfft!

As if!

He knows /exactly/ why, he’s no Peerless Cucumber.

/He/ has actually possesses situational awareness.

Shang Qinghua stops a foot away from his king and holds his gaze. Making sure to telegraph every movement, he pulls Mobei Jun’s hand away from his chest and holds it between both of his.

“My king…”

Ah.

It still shaking.

Shang Qinghua better clear this up quick!

He tries to give him a comforting smile but worries it might look a little constipated with how nervous he is.

“No one forced me to marry Nie Huaisang. I /chose/ to.“ Shang Qinghua watches his face carefully, hoping to see relief.

No luck!

He looks even more worried!!! He’s gotta do more!!

“It’s um, it’s fine!! Really! My husband is kind to me. He’s used to how soft humans are.”

Daringly, Shang Qinghua swipes a thumb over Mobei Jun’s claw. He’s always wanted to do that, he hopes it’s comforting because he may never get another chance.

“So really, you don’t need to worry about me, my King. It doesn’t change anything.”

He gives a quick squeeze and Mobei Jun returns it, /just as softly./

“I’m married to Nie Huaisang, but I’ll follow you for the rest of my life!”

Mobei brings his other hand up and inverses the position so now he is cupping Shang Qinghua’s hands.

He breaks eye contact for a moment to take the sight in. His King’s hands are so /big/ in comparison and, well-

Mobei Jun has never held him so gently before.

“Qinghua.” And just like that he snaps his attention back to that handsome face. Ah, it must have worked!

Gone is the panic and in it’s place,,,,just what kind of face is that????

He feels more than hears Mobei Jun’s voice rumble and doesn’t know what to make of what he says next.

“Qinghua, I am /not/ my father.”

With a flick of his cloak he disappears into a portal and the temperature starts to return to normal.

“What THE FUCK???”

[[ that’s it for tonight! ]]

I feel a little guilty for putting MBJ through the ringer, this is more angst than I planned for!! 🙃🙃🙃

Also, vibe check, on a scale of Fades to Black and Explicit, how spicy do you want the sex scenes to be?

Monster fucking included.

Luo Binghe is going to kill Shang Qinghua.

Not today, not tomorrow, but eventually.

They are immortal, he just needs to bide his time for the proper opportunity to present itself.

t will be difficult to identify every corner of his empire that he has tangle himself in, but it can be done.

No, it /must/ be done.

For the little rat has succeeded where Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge have not.

He has /ruined/ Luo Binghe’s life.

Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe, for lack of a better word, are fastidious.

Rarely in the same way but nevertheless, they have systems, processes, /schedules/, for most things.

Luo Binghe has a very specific way he organizes the kitchen and a very specific way to clean their home

Shen Qingqiu organizes his personal library according to his own, foreign whims.

He takes notes and completes paperwork in a systematic way that Luo Binghe tries to emulate when he helps with the task.
In their professional and domestic life, they have /processes/, /schedules/.

The most sacred of these, is that every three days, Shizun allows penetrative sex. Sometimes it's every two days, if he's feeling especially amorous, but usually, it's every three.

And if it lands in the middle of the week, then it's /Luo Binghe's/ day.

And it's the middle of the week when Shang Qinghua ruins Luo Binghe's life.

The left An Ding Peak shortly Mobei Jun.

Shizun had promise to check in the next day to continue on with their preparations and then their day progressed as it normally would.

Luo Binghe made dinner, they graded reports from the disciples together, and then made their way to bed.

He had been vibrating with excitement the whole time.

Which is normal for Luo Binghe's middle of the week day, there is nothing better than being taken by Shizun BUT-

BUT this time there was the added energy from rubbing his marriage in Yue Qingyuan's face via the spousal stipend, the removal one obstacle for Shen Qingqiu's affection (SQH), and the chance to be smug about their relationship in front of a more disastrous one.

// Explicit descriptions of sex ahead //

They were on their second round of the night when it happened.

His thighs had been shaking as he bounced his hips up and down shizun’s cock. He felt the cum from before started dripping down his leg as he angled forward to get a mouth around an abused nipple.

Shen Qingqiu’s breath was frantic and tears were streaming down his face.

“Binghe!”

“Shi-Shizun!” Came his desperate reply. “Shizun! Shizun, I’m almost there!”

The blood parasites had been holding back Shen Qingqiu’s release until Binghe could work himself up to the point that they could come together.

It was a heady feeling, Binghe was almost drunk off it, to feel the heat of Shen Qingqiu sliding in and out of him while he felt the parasites humming and vibrating within his pulse.

If there was one good thing about his cursed blood it was this.

He was the only one who could give this to Shen.

The only one who could consume him so thoroughly, that could bring him pleasure so completely.

There in the Bamboo house, surrounding -and surrounded by- his Shizun as the slap of skin against skin echoed, was his favorite place to be.

So if Binghe was a little selfish, if he kept his Shizun on the edge just a little longer, just a little more until they were both shaking with the need for release, who could blame him?

“Just- just a little mo-“

“Binghe! I-i can’t-’”

“I’m almost-“

He felt the harsh desperate slap against his thigh before he heard the cry of “Husband!” And heat flooded through his body as he let go and slumped forward onto jade skin.

He had made a weak attempt to try to ride through the overstimulation but the shaking hands gripping at his thigh held him place.

‘Ah, Shizun, isn’t that cheating?’

He let out a little sigh, savoring the feeling of being full, before making his way up the expanse of Shen Qingqiu’s chest with small kisses.

Shizun remained motionless, as he often did, this was always more physically taxing for him than it was for Luo Binghe. In the after glow Shen Qingqiu would let himself be spoiled and taken care of in a way that he didn’t normally have the face to indulge in.

Like a spoiled young master, he would let Binghe carry him in the other room to bathe, would in luxuriate in another lazy round, and even let himself be hand fed.

Luo Binghe cherished these soft quiet moments the most.

Which is why, when Shen Qingqiu, who motionless and staring up at the ceiling, abruptly slipped out of him to get up and off the bed, he was a little more than surprised.

“Shizun?? Is everything alright?”

//// sex scene ended //////

Shen Qingqiu aggressively fumbled around for his inner robes to wipe himself off and then abandon them.

“25 years! This whole time! /25 years, Binghe!/”

Early on during his time in the Abyss, Luo Binghe found himself running from what he layered discovered was a Giant 7 Tailed Blue Diamond Hawk. The beast had chased him to the ledge of a cliff before slashing him from chest to belly as he plummeted down.

The feeling from that time is not so disimular to the one that comes over him as his husband rifles through his desk.

“There has to be one here/ there’s no way...”

He makes his way on Shaking legs to a shelf over to a shelf to filter through the pile there before pulling one out triumphantly.

Luo Binghe can recognize it has a rapid requisition form they had held off on filling out for a new shipment of Nightless Silk Pearl Strings for the disciples specializing in cultivating with guqins.

Shen Shingqiu brings it close to his face and then peaks up over it. “Huh….Nie Huaisang’s name really is on here”.

Luo Binghe covers his face with his hands and fights back the urge to scream.

This happens again over the course of the next three days.

Mobei Jun’s wretched week has turned into a wretched life.

Immediately following the visit to An Ding Peak he had materialized in the Northern Wastes and gotten to work on clearing out an infestation of Stone Clawed Maw Worms that had been terrorizing the region.

The task took two days before Mobei Jun returned to the Northern Palace to collapse on his bed.

When he awoke he dismissed of the palace staff that tried to coax him out of his room.

Eventually Snowflake, an imp that had been on the staff since his father was young, spread the message that his highness was not to be disturbed.

He did, however peek into the room knowingly to leave a bowl of fruit in the main hall’s table.

Mobei Jun was /not/ sulking.

A king of his stature and power did /not/ silk.

That was absurd.

If he chose to lay in bed, unmoving for multiple hours, with the furs pulled up to cover his head, that was /not/ sulking.

It was /something./

But not /sulking./

Beneath the furs, a repentive refrain haunted his peace.

/Shang Qinghua is married./

Shang Qinghua had /been/ married.

/For 25 years./

His claws hadn’t even developed their final keratinized layer at that point.

And Mobei Jun, idiot of a prince that he had been, had given him leave to get /married./

Had sent /gifts/ to honor the new alliance that must have been interpreted as something else.

The feeling of nausea returns and he flips over on his stomach to bury his face in the sheets.

No wonder he had never reciprocated or worn his gifts for more than one day.

Shang Qinghua already had a demon husband that he /chose/.

And it wasn’t Mobei Jun.

As he shifts in bed he becomes aware of how his hair has tangled and matted and misses the feeling of quick hands combing though it.

He had always perceived the act of Shang Qinghua attending to his hair to be on the more intimate side.

A demon does not allow someone to get that close to their neck without it /meaning/ something.

Shang Qinghua is /married/.

But humans and demons are different, he should have known better.

And yet-

When his world was crushing down, Shang Qinghua had held his hand /so/ softly. It was a whisper of a touch, foreign and new.

/My husband is kind to me. He’s used to how soft humans are./

Did he touch his husband so gently?

Is that how he wished to be touch in turn?

All these years and Mobei Jun didn’t know the first thing about humans:

[[ This fic is now on AO3 and titled The An Ding Peak Lord's Demon Husband (NOT clickbait!!) updates there will be behind twitter for some time ]]

archiveofourown.org/works/45025381

The fur blanket slides down his face enough to peek an eye out. From this angle, he can see the bowl of fruit that Snowflake had left behind. Mobei Jun is still contemplating opening a small portal to just reach over and grab one when a violent burst of qi explodes the door.

Mobei Jun, eminent king of the Northern Desert, pulls the soft fur back up to cover his head and turns over.

If Junshang wants to act like a petulant child and demand his attention then he can do just that.

The crunch of wood splintering under Luo Binghe’s foot is all the warning he gets before the blanket is ripped off of him.

“Mobei! You need to- WHY are you NAKED?”

Mobei Jun rolls his eyes as he sits up and turns to face the emperor of the demon realm.

The sensibilities of humans will never make sense to him.

Junshang’s eyebrows jump up his face as his eyes settle on his groin.

He tilts his head to the side in thought and brings a hand up to cover his mouth.

Well.

Hm.

Mobei Jun shifts but does not move from his place until the blanket is thrown back to him.

“Get dressed, we’re not discussing this while you’re naked.”

Aware of the eyes tracking his every move, Mobei Jun makes a show of slowly walking toward the privacy screen to get dressed.

“What is the reason for your visit, Junshang? I am occupied.”

The snort that comes from the other side of the screen is not a flattering one.

“Sulking is not the same as being busy.”

As if the man that cried onto a corpse for five years has any room to talk.

Not that Mobei Jun was sulking.

Kings do not sulk. Emperors might, but not kings.

[[ this Is a stopping point until I figure some stuff let me know If you know what chapter in svsss mentions wife stealing cause I can’t find it ]]

Who are the additional humans in the Nie entourage?

Mobei Jun slips on a loose inner robe and makes his way to the table Luo Binghe has made himself comfortable at.
He watches as the emperor of the demon realm inspects the fruit, turning peaches this way and that.

“I didn’t know know so many fruit grew in the North.”

They don’t

In his youth, Mobei Jun had rarely ever aten any. Due to the extreme temperatures the Northern diet primarily consists of meat, berries, grasses, tubers, roots, stems, and seaweeds for those demons near the frozen coast.

The only time he ever tasted such sweetness was once a year when his mother would acquire a single fruit to share between the two.

Hidden away in her chambers they would split the fruit in two as she recounted stories of her time as a warrior.

It was not difficult then, to picture his mother as what she must have been before her marriage.

Even at the end, when she could barely eat or move, she still maintained the sharp eyed dignity of a demon saintess.

It was, after all, not a title easily won.

The child that would become Mobei Jun would curl up next to her, careful not to aggravate her injuries, until a rapid tap at her door signaled the end of his visit.

Snowflake would lead him through the hidden passages and wait until the next time they would be allowed to meet.

The young prince still had his primary incisors when she died, in the grand scheme of things, they had only had a few years, a few days together.

He lost the taste for sweet foods after that.

Years went by without any desire to partake in that childhood treat.

And then-

And then there was a cultivator in an inn, rations of dried fruit, and a promise.

/“My king, let me follow you for the rest of my life!”/

If only he had known then, when he tied that cord from his finger to Shang Qinghua’s neck, that he was sealing his own fate.

After that first visit to An Ding Peak, without Mobei Jun ever saying anything, there was always a small plate of fruit waiting for him.

He never touched it, never even made an attempt to show any interest. And yet, it was always there.

A year went by before he finally decided to eat one of the persimmons Shang Qinghua was preparing to eat. He snatched it straight out of his hand and ate it one bite, all the while ignoring his cries.

As the first taste of the fruit hit his tongue he couldn’t help but think back on their first meeting.

/“you’re very fishy.”

“Not fishy! This one is sweet.”/

It would be another few years before he saw how true those words were.

Mobei Jun grimaces at the realization that it wasn’t until the alliance with the Nie that fruit became more common in the North.

Luo Binghe should know better than to try to wait Mobei Jun out for a response he doesn’t want to give. The demon is more frugal with his words than a cook is with his saffron.

He might as well cut straight to the point.

“What are you going to do about Shang Qinghua?”

Blue eyes narrow at him in an accusatory fashion. “You knew.”

Oh Mobei, Mobei, Mobei, as if this demon emperor cared enough about Shang Qinghua to know anything about his life.

“No, Shizun and I were as ignorant about it until a few hours before.”

Somehow this is what surprises him out of his anger. “Your consort wasn’t aware?”

While neither of them like it, they both recognize how many secrets are shared between the two.

“Of he did, it was before he lost his memories. The Nie have a contract with the sect.”

Unlike the majority of the people in this world, Luo Binghe knows Mobei Jun is not someone who covets his Shizun.

Instead, he is often times annoyed by his presence as it takes away Luo Binghe’s and Shang Qinghua’s attention by whatever matter is at hand.

It is for this reason that finds Mobei Jun’s company more tolerable than most. He holds no possible threat to him or his relationship. Sha Hualing is similar, but on the opposite end of the spectrum, where they can indulge in their pettiness together.

At more than twice their age, the Northern King pretends to be above it all, but Luo Binghe has learned to recognize his amused tells.

Shizun isn’t fond of either of them but Luo Binghe could have done worse after he emerged from the abyss.

“There is nothing to be done…. he’s made his choice.”

Binghe passes the peach from hand to hand, careful not to puncture the skin with his claws. He has to tread carefully here if he is to get what he wants out of this visit.

“I don’t think he did.”

The temperature drops but the demon before him remains silent.

“Shizun has been…disturbed by this revelation.” The temperature plummets further. “In all these years, Shang Qinghua has never spoken about a husband. He checked in with other peak lords that work closely with An Ding, and many had forgotten he was even married.”

Exactly how disturbed will never be mentioned by Luo Binghe. His own anger and heart break threaten to overcome him at the mere thought of it.

“He checked the archives, and Shang Qinghua has very rarely asked for leave from the sect.” Luo Binghe hopes Mobei Jun assumes that is normal thing to check on.

“If he was visiting his husband, there would have been less than a handful of opportunities over the course of their marriage.”

Except of course, for the ones Mobei Jun provided. The temperature fluctuates and he can see him turning this new information over in his head.

“If Shang Qinghua values this marriage as anything more than a convenient alliance, he has never indicated it to anyone.” The silence continues until finally-

“Jungshang…what do you know about bride stealing among humans?”

/// CONTENT WARNING: Discussion of sexual assault ///

It his his turn to give a hardened stare. He traces the contours of the other demon’s face for any sign of what he is thinking.

He finds none.

In his youth, there was a woman, a girl really, that lived near by.

She was the third daughter of a small merchant family and when Luo Binghe and his mother would pick up their clothes to take to the river, she always greeted them with a smile.

He hasn’t thought about her in years but if he closes his eyes he can still hear the echoes of her screams. His mother held him close that night.

“It depends.”

Though he sits a top of the world now, Luo Binghe the orphaned son of a poor washer woman, is more than familiar in the ways humans can be monstrous.

Mobei Jun nods his head as a signal for him to continue.

"With humans, the bride is almost always a woman."

"Humans aren't like demons, usually the women is weaker." He thinks back on spars with Ning Ying Ying and Liu Mingyan. "Or they are kept weaker and less respected. Usually, don't lead their families or clans, not in any official capacity."

"It's rare but If a woman wants to be married but her family doesn't agree or her suitor can't pay the bride price, she will agree to be taken. I haven't seen it myself, but I hear the family receives a letter afterwards informing them she agreed to it."

"Some times there's a wedding, but usually there isn't if they didn't have the money for it."

He lets his demonic qi flare for the next part, Mobei Jun should know exactly what he thinks about the matter.

"More often-" and here the pressure in the room increases.

"-More often a man will take a woman he wants, rape her, and leave the family no option but to have them married. Human families would have a hard time marrying her to anyone else after that."

Luo Binghe doesn't respect Shang Qinghua, he doesn't even like him, but if Mobei Jun were to go that route-

Well.

He would still have Sha Hualing as a general.

Red eyes meet blue and the Northern King is the first to look away as he reaches for a fruit.

"It's different with demons."

Interesting.

"How so?"

The pressure drops, the temperature rises, and for a moment there is a semblance of normalcy between the two.

Mobei Jun uses his claws to slice the peach in half.

"If a demon steals a spouse, they inform them and their clan." He gives a one armed shrug. "Or they don't and that part is the same."

That's what he thought.

"By informing them, they will be prepared. It's a test to prove they are strong enough to face any challenge, to prove they would be capable of keeping them safe. That their clan is worthier of them than the spouses natal clan."

"If the spouse is willing, they consummate the marriage and have a ceremony the following day. The natal clan accepts it and an alliance is made."

Both halves of the peach remain on the table, untouched.

Luo Binghe glances at the fruit, Mobei Jun seems memorized by it. "What aren't you saying, Mobei?"

"My mother was stolen twice."

He didn't expect that. From what both Meng Mo and Sha Hualing have implied, she was stronger than Mobei Jun was when they met.

To be considered a demon saintess, there are trials that have to be completed, and even then, the major clans of the demon realm must all recognize and agree to refer to someone as such.

Luo Binghe had met the previous Mobei Jun, even ascended, he wasn't impressed.

Sha Hualing is the youngest demon to hold the title, and the only one since the death of the former Northern queen.

It is highly unlikely that she would be overtaken not only once, but twice. The only way that would be possible was if- "There was foul play."

Mobei Jun nods. "My uncle poisoned her before announcing his intent. She did not have the strength to kill him in the night."

Ah, so Mobei Jun had this kind of background.

"She was weakened when my father made his attack and was maimed in the process. The poison ailed her for the remainder of her life and was debilitating until her death."

The image of Shen Qingqiu's body, cold and weakened by Without a Cure, comes to mind and Luo Binghe swallows. "I see."

Mobei Jun rises to his full height and gives him a meaningful look. "If Shang Qinghua does not wish to be married, /this/ King will not force him."

The emperor of the demon realm, left alone at the table, puts the peach back in the bowl.

[[ That's it for tonight! ]]

Ha ha ha ha ha, remember how this was a COMEDY, a SILLY FIC, cause I was DONE writing angst???

I don't know how this happened 🥲

Up next we will finally get Nie Huaisang and some well deserved silliness and pining.

oh! and as a result of the last poll, Jiang Cheng will be a part of the Nie's entourage.

There will be a feast, does Shang Qinghua sit at Luo Binghe's table with the squad or with the Nie clan?

Shen Yuan is not nervous.

He has no reason to be. This week has been meticulously planned to the last possible detail. Airplane and Binghe have spent hours reviewing and cross checking the agendas, seating arrangements, dining and housing of all the demons that will be present.

Rooms in the Southern Palace have been set aside for members of the greatest demon clans and there are countless tents set outside their gates for the minor clans.

Binghe even went through the trouble of moving his precious Three Pronged Blue Headed Lake Dragons to another location so that the water demons wouldn’t agitate them.

Even though they are a clear IP violation of both dratini and Seadramon, he’s still fond of them!
They’re cute!

Shen Yuan enjoys watching them circle the lake in the summer and flop around belly up in the sun. Their scales also make for a nice light armor.

They also lose their second row of upper teeth once a year and Binghe and him make it something of a date to go collect them. Currently, they’re in the process of teaching them to carry them across the water in the hopes to eventually race them.

Out of all the gifts his husband has given him, they are some of the best!

Shen Yuan is feeling remorse at losing the opportunity to show them off when the synchronize stomps of demons start to make their way into the throne room.

The tempo picks up and comes to a sudden stop as the demons all fall to one knee, leaving a petit figure standing before them.

Bells tinkle as Sha Hualing, in a variation of her standard gauzy attire, makes her way to the base of the stairs and gives a deep bow.

Shen Yuan has to give it to her, she does know how to make an entrance.

“Jungshang,” then turning to give a quicker bow, “Empress.”

The way she says it, just plausible enough to not be disrespectful, ignites a tiny flame in him.

However, years of living as the Immortal Qing Jing Peak Lord, have given him the ability to look at her impassively and betray no emotion.

But on the inside-

He’s pissed!

It’s only been a few years since she stopped trying to become Luo Binghe’s second wife and that’s not something he’s about to forget anytime soon!!

He gives her the smallest nod of acknowledgment and hopes it conveys /I’m the one in matching outfits you homewrecker/!

It doesn’t.

She grins at him showing, a little fang, before continuing with the obligatory pleasantries and promises.

As a general, when her clan goes to their assigned area she walks up the second platform to stand alongside Mobei Jun .That her bells remain silent as she gives a familiar hip check to the small blue imp next to Mobei Jun does not go unnoticed.

From his angle, Shen Yuan can see the tiny inclination of the imps head and the single pat he gives the demon saintess’ thigh. Sha Hauling looks delighted at this and he makes a mental note to ask for the imps name later on.

Shang Qinghua had mentioned him a few times, what was it? Snowball?

Shen Qingqiu scans the slowly filling room for any sign of their missing advisor. Airplane had disappeared a few hours previously for some last minute security measures and a chance to change into his formal robes.

Binghe assured him that this was standard practice to give the soy an opportunity to gather intel before his face and status became known to all.

It was one thing to know Airplane was working for the demon realm, it was another thing to bear witness it.

His eyes snap back to attention as the next procession of demons comes and goes, idly keeping track of plot relevant people, would be wives, and generally interesting parties.

There are a few groups that, at their periphery, have one or two humans with him and he takes a mental note to do a few rounds of wellness checks. No Jabba-Leia situations will be happening under his watch!

They’re half way through the great clans when the long awaited party shows up.

Over the course of the last few days he had discussed with his husband what Shang Qinghua’s husband might be like. (Okay if was mostly Shen Yuan doing the speculating!)

Last night they had reconvened with Mobei Jun to very /subtly/ suggests that his best opportunity to show off for his advisor was during tomorrow’s tournament where he could challenge Nie Huaisang to a fight.

Demons got maimed /all the time/ during friendly fire, it wouldn’t be unusual! It’s not like Shang Qinghua was singing praises about his looks either.

Based on the limited reconnaissance they (Shen Yuan), had learned that the Nie clan were fighters renown for their skills with a saber. And in out of their humanoid forms they were typically quite large as well.

Luo Binghe had met the clan head before, Nie Mingjue, during a former campaign and could attest to this. Reason would dictate that his brother would be similar in temperament and ability.

The battle would be formidable enough to not draw any attention to its purpose but Mobei Jun’s victory would make it so any public opinion on his courting of Shang Qinghua would be favorable. Or at least within the bounds of demon logic.

He isn’t successful in fighting back his reaction at remembering what Luo Binghe had told him about wife stealing and his husband reaches over to squeeze his hand.

Yikes!

Hopefully he wasn’t staring in any one direction for too long and just accidentally sentenced someone to death.

With a quick squeeze he returns the gesture and smiles at his husband and sees him smiling back. Quickly, he brings up his fan to hide his warming cheeks.

When they had seen each other dressed that morning in their formal robes, with their deep cut necks and only a scandalous four layers, they barely made it out of the room.

All his planning almost went to waste because neither he nor Luo Binghe could be chill about the fact that dressed like this, their claim to each other was obvious to all.
Also, Binghe’s little brown nipples were showing every time he moved, that contributed a lot to their delay

Which is to say, this demon emperor was too handsome!

And it filled Shen Yuan with trepidation and excitement at the thought of being…filled later tonight.

He’s admiring how the gauzy red inner robe looks against the protagonist’s skin when a deep voice echoes throughout the room.

“Junshang, the Qinghe Nie salutes you and your consort and thanks you for welcoming us into your home.”

The man bows deeply and when he comes back up Shen Yuan leans forward to get a good look at his face.

He is handsome, in the same way that warriors in xianxias are always expected to be. The demon looks more human than the others presents if it were not for his size.

Nie Mingjue, he presumes, is as tall as Mobei Jun and as thick as an oak tree.

This man is all muscle! Quickly, he looks through his entourage to try and identify a similar looking demon.

Shen Yuan is expecting additional pleasantries, like most of the demons before him had given, but he’s already giving him his own bow and moving on to bow at the generals platform.

Succinct!

It is here that this stoic face splits into a grin and oh-

He is handsome.

Someone steps forward from between Mobei Jun and Sha Hualing-

Is-

Is that-

Shang Qinghua!???

If Shen Yuan that he and Binghe were scandalous in only their four layers, Airplane is practically /naked/.

His first layer looks to be almost all one piece but for all that it covers him, it is essentially a transparent green gauze. It starts at the neck with an elaborate necklace made of what looks like shells and beads and turns into long flowing leaves that flutter as he moves.

His outer robe is made of a darker green material and stops mid thigh, his underskirt is black and barely longer than that and is that-

No-

NO WAY!

/Are those spandex shorts!?/

It's one thing to hide a husband from him but /shorts/??? When he is constantly complained about overheating too!? What's next, boxers??!!

If Airplane has been secretly wearing boxers this whole time, Shen Yua will /actually/ kill him!!

Shen Yuan is leaning so far forward that he is, literally, at the edge of his seat. From Shang Qinghua's own bow he can see that his brown hair is up in an elaborate set of braids instead of it's usually bun. The demon before him sports a similar style.

/'When did he even have the time to do that?!/

Shen Yuan can't see his face from behind him but he recognizes Airplanes pleased little laugh anywhere.

"Da-ge."

/Da-ge/!

He barely has the time to register this when a small figure stands up from the kneeling group of water demons to stand alongside their clan leader.

This new demon is significantly smaller, almost Shang Qinghua's size if not slightly taller, that he would have no problem hiding amongst humans in this form. He is finely dressed in rich silks and matching the theme of green, blacks, and greys.

Similar to clan leader, these robes are a longer cut and have a thin, flowy, underskirt. His ebony hair frames his pixiesque face with short /bangs/ and the rest is partially braided back with gold beads mixed here and there.

When he raises his hands to bow and Binghe and Shen Yuan, delicate brown wrists can be seen with an assortment of bracelets.

Between his small stature and overall ethereal vibe, he looks closer to a /fairy/ than a demon.

Shen Yuan's suspicions on his identity are confirmed when he bows to Shang Qinghua and smiles with a mouth full of razor sharp teeth. "Husband."

Airplane laughs again and returns the bow. "Hello, Husband."

From his periphery he see's Sha Hualing slapping Mobei Jun's arm, the ice demon looks a little thunderstruck.

Which, yeah! Duh!!

They were expecting a giant hunk of demon, not this whispy delicate thing!! Airplane has a /type/ and it's not this!

Shang Qinghua turns around to join the Nie brothers and bows alongside them to those on the platform. Shen Yuan is distracted by the golden chains somehow adhered around Shang Qinghua's thighs and (shoeless!) legs when he hears his husband's low gasp beside him.

He turns his head to give him a question glance before bringing his attention back to Shang Qinghua's retreating back.

Something uneasy sets in the stomach of all those on the platform as they watch the An Ding Peak Lord's husband, clad in green, pull out an elegant white fan.

[[ that’s it for tonight! ]]

SY looking at NMJ: oh that’s exactly SQH’s type

MBJ & LBH looking at NHS: *gasp* SQQ is SQH’s type!?

They’re all so stupid, your honor. My sympathies to Sha Hualing and Snowflake for involving them in this mess.

Also,

MBJ’s intentions to challenge NHS to a fight in the tournament vs NHS having no intention to participate in /that/

FYI

I might take tomorrow off to catch up ao3 or work on Till Then my Windows Ache!

One last poll

Do SQH and NHS fuck this night?

Snowflake! He’s actually a legend among snow imps for being the first to learn to read and write and lived a long adventurous life before becoming mbj’s grandfathers caretaker. He’s taken care of the main line of mbj and it wasnt until SQH that he became a scribe. So he likes him

Snowflake has been teaching other palace imps to read since the last mbj was a child and SQH has been using them as spies. He greatly respected our mobei’s mother and grew to care for her son out of pity. Sqh doesnt think he created him but! He was a receipt doodle! He bites!