Thread by @michaelharriot

DeSantis' anti-CRT law isn't just about Black history. It whitewashes Hispanic history, European history, California history. US history & Fla. history

How?

Well, a Black man did all of that. He also has a legitimate claim to another title:

The first African American

A thread

The man I'm talking about is one of the greatest explorers in world history named Handsome John

No, that's not a nickname

If Cristóbal Colón's Spanish name is anglicized to "Christopher Columbus," then how should we refer to the African who changed his name to Juan Garrido?

To be fair, Pretty Johnny wasn't his birth name. Historian Rich Happy (Ricardo Alegria) says Garrido was probably an African prince who changed his name when he moved to a white neighborhood & joined a white church. Or, as the National Park Service describes it:

Now, the reason I refer to it as a "white neighborhood," is because there really wasn't a "Spain" back then. Moors had taken over the Iberian Peninsula & when Spain finally united, they realized they had lost clout at church

Why?

The dudes in Portugal were paying more tithes.

Where was Portugal getting all this tithes money?

Well, most of Europe was scared to go to faraway places because no one ever came back. Contrary to popular belief, Africans had already taught them that the earth was round, but they still thought sea monsters ate their ships.

The Moors (African Muslims) sea dominance had helped them conquer Iberia (the peninsula where Spain & Portugal are located). When they heard this crazy sea monster theory & were like: "Sea monsters? HAHAHAHAHAHA! These idiots don't understand how ocean currents & winds work!"

The church sent some soldiers to kick the Moors out, which set off a war for control of Iberia.

While rich Spanish families fought to control the peninsula, the Portuguese royal family next door was making maps, training explorers & basically copying everything the Moors did.

Portugal's Infante Dom Henrique o Navegad, copied the Moors' maps. Instead of huge ships with big square sails, he built Moorish "caravels" – small, agile ships with triangular sails called "lateens"

Oh, I forgot, we are only their white names:

Prince Henry the Navigator

Henry's crew finally made it around the Horn of Africa & set up shop in "Guinea" (West Africa) selling spices, gold & yes...

SLAVES

Portugal was paying a LOT in tithes & offering. So in 1479, Spain made a deal w/the Pope to leave Portugal alone. All Portugal got was:

Guinea

This is likely how Pretty Johnny ended up in Lisbon trading with Portugal. They had a lock on the exploring game & the slave trade.

So how did he end up in Spain?

Well, when Johnny was a little boy, a dude was also in Portugal studying exploring & trading.

Chris Columbus.

Chris went to the Portuguese king's version of Shark Tank to get funding for a voyage to Asia. But King John didn't bite. He had Africa. He had the church. He was running the whole exploring game.

France passed. England was like "Nah." But Spain had just united.

They had most of Iberia but Portugal was making more money. They couldn't even break into the slave market because Portugal owned Guinea. So in 1492, Spain gave Chris a small venture capital loan to buy:
Supplies
A small staff
Soldiers
And three lateen-rigged caravels.

In 1493, Chris went back & took 17-year-old John P. Lion

10 yrs later, when John P (Juan Ponce de León) was put together his exploring crew, he wanted someone who was as smart & brave as he was when he went with Chris. He chose a 15-yr-old who'd literally become his ride or die

Pretty Juan Garrido

In 1508, PJ's boss John P. Lion (Juan Ponce de León) was planning a big heist, he knew they were gonna have to fight the naitive Taino. Ponce had been there with Columbus & knew it was dangerous. Garrido was 1 of 50 conquistadors chosen to go

They moved in. Witnesses say that every time they saw Ponce, Garrido was with him. Black men had visited, but Garrido was likely the first free Black man in this "Port of Riches." He was DEFINITELY the 1st to have a 21st birthday party in Puerto Rico

Which country is PR part of?

In March 1513, Ponce Lion asked PJ to ride with him to another island. Since they arrived during the Easter season's "Festival of Flowers" & spring flowers were blooming everywhere, they named it "Full of Flowers"

They'd later realize that "La Florida" is not an island

The native Calusa kicked them out before they "claimed" the land for Spain

If you've ever wandered into a Florida neighborhood where you weren't wanted, you know why Garrido & his boys decided to come back when they had backup.

Garrido was a "rider" but he knew how not to die.

That same year, Diego Velazques went to claim a nearby island called Cuba. The natives were whipping the Spanish until Panfilo Narvaez showed up with some reinforcements including Garrido

How do we know?

How could you NOT see this handsome Black dude walking around in Cuba?

He was down for his conquistador boys but he wasn't with all that "claiming stuff." Garrido was really good at living among natives & staying alive

For instance, when he somehow survived a bloody 1520 battle, he built what became one of the oldest churches in North America

Garrido was given a worthless piece of farmland outside Mexico City.

In 1521 Ponce pulled & asked Garrido to ride back to Fla. Garrido didn't want to go but P Lion was his tightman.

Ponce was like: "I just wanna claim it. It's an in & out job. I already talked to the Calusa"

So Garrido went.

Ponce had barely started claiming shit when the Calusa gave him a housewarming gift.

An arrow through the thigh...

Dipped in one of the deadliest poisons in the world.

Garrido dipped & dragged Ponce to Puerto Rico where Ponce died from thigh poisoning

What would he do? Sure he had some connections but he had a terrible piece of land and his social security hadn't even kicked in. He was too young for retirement age. But he was too pretty for this Conquistador shit.

He needed one last job.

Remember all of that stuff about Moors, Iberia & sailing?

Well, there was a story that a group of female Moors left Iberia & settled on a distant island dripping w/gold. But the island ruled by the mythical Queen Califia had monsters who ate ships (yes, they were still on that)

Hernan Cortez wanted to go. But who was brave enough to go w/him?

Of course, Garrido wanted to go to the island of fine, rich Black women!

There was no gold, Black women or monsters. It wasn't even an island! But they still named it after the mythical Queen:

California

Now Juan was REALLy broke.

All he had was a piece of land in the middle of the desert outside of Mexico city. Then he realized something weird about his land. It seemed like his soil was fertile. If only he could find something that could grow without a lot of water.

If you read white history, you'll learn that the English settlers brought wheat to the Americas in the 1700s

That's Caucasian Race Theory.

200 years earlier, Juan Garrido was the first person to sow, cultivate and harvest a commercial wheat crop in N. America

Pretty Johnny eventually stopped running the streets and settled down with his wife & kids.

I don't know if you know this, but conquistadors actually have a pension plan.

I am absolutely serious. They submit what's called a "probanza" or a "proof of service" to the king.

And once it's reviewed, they get on the King's payroll.

Remember, Johnny started out young, so when Juan Garrido submitted his probanza, most of the OGs were dead.

Who would testify?

Bruh, ALL the big-time conquistadors showed up to testify for Pretty Johnny.

It was like a BET special called "Black Conquistador Rock"

Everybody had stories about this handsome Black badass. Even people who he had never met had HEARD of Johnny. Some of them had stories that COULDN'T have been true but a lot of them were corroborated.

Then his said"

That's how we know about Juan Garrido
But, if a school district in Florida has
Mexican students
or Cuban students.
or Puerto Rican students
Or a class on European history
or Spanish History
or students who like pancakes...

It's not that they won't know about Black history.

It's that they won't know about THEIR OWN HISTORY
They can learn a LIE about Christopher Columbus
discovering America
They can learn a LIE about how wheat came to America
They can learn a LIE about bringing Christianity to America

But somehow, that version of history isn't "controversial."

Because that history is white.