Thread by @fabuLizSup

#HappyEdIzzyWeek #ActofTrueLove
I was thinking about what I wanted to write for this & I knew I did not want to write "sacrifices himself for the other" & I didn't wanna write a true love's kiss scene. I thought about what are the truest acts of love I've experienced & performed

And what I decided is that the act that speaks most powerfully to me as that of true love is forgiveness.

Why am I writing this here, when for all the other prompts I didn't tag until I finished the thread? Bc I want you to know why I decided to do this, and since it will have

Heavier content than anything else I've written for this week. By it's nature, forgiveness requires discussing wrongs committed, so there's gonna be a fair bit of angst probably (as per usual this is all just stream of consciousness writing so who knows lol anything could happen)

So CW: This prompt fill is gonna deal with The Toe Thing and therefore also prob deal with intimate partner violence and who knows what else. This is a first draft and I am NOT an expert on these topics so please take care of yourselves! Your well-being is more important than a s

Silly themed week of fanfic! I am exploring a concept here, not saying that what Ed and Izzy will end up doing is a good or right or even necessarily healthy way to deal with intimate partner violence. Ok hopefully that's enough warning/disclaimer, and on my next work break I can

Start actually, ya know, writing this thing ❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's been 5 months since the Kraken arose from the depths of Edward's grief. 5 months of trying to protect everyone on the ship from the Kraken, including Edward.

For as long as Izzy had known Ed he'd been mercurial, and to hear Jack talk about their times together

on Hornigold's ship for nearly his whole life.

During what Izzy thought of as The Good Times, Ed's moods rose and fell as easily (if not as predictably) as the tides. Over the years Ed had become pretty good at getting himself through the peaks and valleys, and Izzy had learned

to read Ed's mood like Ed read the clouds. Izzy would see the warning signs of an incoming swell and begin to batten down the hatches and ensure safety lines were in place for the coming force of Ed's genius that felt as powerful and as dangerous as the sea.

Likewise, Izzy

learned to watch for the approach of the doldrums, & prepare for when Edward was too becalmed to leave his cabin.

None of that left Ed or Izzy prepared for the Kraken, tho. If Ed's moods were normally likened to choppy seas, the Kraken was more akin to a whirlpool or tidal wave

The Kraken had all the despair & ennui of Edward in the doldrums of his mind but with the rash, reckless energy he exhibited during swells.

Izzy was terrified. Worse, he was unable to fulfill his duties as First Mate: keep his captain content, his crew safe, his ship sailing.

Izzy knew he was failing his captain and his crew, but he had tried everything he know to reach Edward and it was all for naught. It was as though the Kraken had ensnared Izzy's beloved Captain. Often Izzy felt guilty, as the days turned to weeks and he increasingly turned to

subterfuge and deceit, withholding information and belaying orders in increasingly desperate attempts to keep everyone safe, or if not safe at least still alive. It increasingly bordered on mutiny. Izzy tried to tell himself that he wasn't betraying his captain; the Kraken had

already mutinied Edward, and had apparently no regard for the mortality of his body. Izzy wasn't sure if the Kraken believed himself invincible or just didn't care whether he survived, nor did Izzy know which of those he would prefer. Both felt unbearable.

And then, after what

Had felt like an eternity but had been less that the span of months, the Kraken began to recede. Edward still didn't surface, not properly. He was still drowning in his grief, rage, and sorrow. But the rampaging fury gave way to exhaustion. And Izzy didn't like to see his Captain

in this state, he didn't. But he did know how to /deal/ with it, at least. As the Kraken's strength and energy ebbed Izzy's gut-wrenching terror both of and for Edward gave way to a bone deep exhaustion.

Izzy no longer had to protect the crew from the rage and recklessness of their captain, now only needing to protect his vulnerable captain from a resentful crew that might seek vengeance. Izzy no longer had to withhold information or belay orders from his captain. Oh, he still

acted as de facto captain, but at least now it was because Edward couldn't bring himself to care enough to make decisions, forcing Izzy to act in his stead.

It had been 6 weeks since the Kraken had begun to abate when Izzy sees the first sign that perhaps Edward is beginning to emerge from rise from the depths of his agony. Izzy is in the cabin, trying to figure out how he can get to Edward to eat something when Ed asks, apropos of

nothing as far as Izzy can tell, "what port are we closest to?"
"Tortuga," Izzy answers on reflex before his mind can even stutter in surprise at Ed showing an interest in anything remotely work related.
"Chart a course. Let me know when we are a day out."
"Aye, Cap'n." Izzy is

stunned he leaves to follow his orders without remembering to ensure that Ed finishes his rations.

Izzy reckons they should be able to make port in five days if the wind with them. Because he is Izzy Hands and the universe hates him, the wind, of course, is not with them.

Izzy reports their progress to Ed twice a day when he brings him his morning and evening meals. It's...fine. Izzy finds himself soothed a bit to have a routine, a defined goal, an explicit way in which he can serve his captain. If the wind were with them, perhaps he could almost

be approaching contentment. Izzy knows he cannot control the wind; he also knows deep in his bones that it is his fault they are taking so long to reach Tortuga. Izzy gives every report braced for an admonishment, maybe even a punishment, for his failures that never comes.

Maybe Ed knows he doesn't need to threaten or chide Izzy when he is making no effort to hide the disappointment in his expression.

Finally, a full week after Ed initially ordered them to head to Tortuga, Izzy is able to report that they are only a day out. Ed seems...resigned?

Izzy knew he was in too low of a headspace to seem positive about this, even if it hadn't taken 50% longer to get there than it should have. Still, Izzy had expected Ed to react with the same detached indifference he had to his previous reports on their progress.

When Izzy opens the door to the captain's cabin the next morning with Edward's breakfast tray he stops short at the sight of Edward not only out of bed but fully dressed. Izzy shakes his head to clear it and then enters the room.
"What time do we dock?"
"Afternoon watch, 'tween

3 and 5 bells."
"Good. Set up a watch rotation and take first shift, Iz. I have some errands I need to run."
"Yes sir." Izzy swallows. He has so many questions: how long will the be docked? Should they stock up on supplies? Is there a plan for after they depart? If so, what?

But Ed didn't appreciate Izzy's pestering questions /before/ everything went to shit, and Ed is finally, FINALLY beginning to do a bit better. As badly as Izzy wants to know the answers to his questions, he isn't sure he can risk sending Edward back into the depths or worse

rewaken the Kraken.
Edward looks over Izzy carefully and Izzy has no idea what it is he sees but he freezes, wanting desperately to avoid doing or saying the wrong thing.
"You'll be here when I get back," Ed's tone is hard to read, closer to a question than an order.
"Sir?"

"Its just, might take me til after the end of your watch to get back to the ship. You got plans ashore for after your watch?"
When the fuck would I've made plans, Izzy thinks. "no?" He says aloud.
"Good. Stay on board and then when I get back we can go into town together"

Ed actually returns to the ship well before the end of Izzy's watch. "Ready to go Iz?"
"Still an hour left to my watch, sir."
"Get someone else to cover for you"
"Sir?"
"C'mon Iz I known there's gotta be someone on this ship who owes you a favor."
Izzy tried to hide his grimace

Once upon a time that would have been true. But that was Before. But then Izzy had lost his toe, and Ivan and Fang had gotten the rest of the crew to cover the second half all of Izzy's shifts. "Fuck off, I don't need your pity."
"Course not, Boss. But we all owe ya favors. Seems

good a time as any to start repaying 'em."
Then the Kraken had gotten worse, and Izzy wasn't sure he could keep them all alive, so he told them they were free to go at next port.
"What about you?"
"What about me?"
"Are you leaving?"
"I made a vow."
"You didn't know this would

be what happened, Izzy. You might not have made it if you had. Surely you can't be held to it, given everything!"
"I swore loyalty above all else. All covers these circumstances, Fang. I won't break my oath."
"Then we are staying."
"Don't be ridiculous."
"Boss you can't sail her

alone. You need a crew. And we aren't leaving you. You can tell all you want. If you stay, we stay."
None of them had said it, but Izzy knew he owed them for that. They'd more than repaid any favors he'd accumulated over the years. And he hadnt had the ability yet to repay them.

But Ed didn't know that; could never know that. Telling the crew they could leave was functionally mutiny, even Izzy never would have let them depose the captain, much less hurt him in any way. Who knows how Ed would react if he ever learned about it. Izzy shudders at the thought

"I'll go see if there's anyone around who can take over," is all Izzy says in the end.

He finds Fang in the galley.
"Oh hey Boss! Thought you were on deck keeping watch?"
"I was; Blackbeard's back, wants me to join him on shore. Can you cover the rest of my watch? I'd owe you"

Fang gives Izzy an odd look, "'course, Boss. Don't even worry about it."
As if there was ever anything in Izzy's life about which he was able to not even worry about. "Thanks, Fang." Fang just nods and follows Izzy back above deck.

Ed glances up at them, gives Fang a short nod.

"All set?"
"Aye, Cap'n."
With that Ed turns to lead Izzy down the docks and into town, heading straight for a tavern.

They arrive and Ed snags them a table, waving over a serving girl and ordering ale for them both. After she leaves he looks at Izzy and frowns, "You lost weight"

"captain?"
"Remember when we first met? You were skinny as anything back then."
Izzy remembers meeting Ed, of course he does, how could he forget? The way Ed's eyes sparkled, his curls gleamed...he had been almost too beautiful to look at but Izzy couldn't help himself. What Izzy

doesn't recall is anything as trivial as his own weight. "Was I?"
Ed thanks the serving girl who sets down their drinks then hums an affirmation as he sips his drink.
"Mhm. Looked practically feral, scrawny as anything practically drowning in those rags they gave you, matted hair

covered in the blood of your own damned officers."
Izzy averts his eyes. He rarely knows where Ed is going when he begins tangents like this; half the time it seems nowhere. But other times it only becomes clear afterward that Ed had been deliberately leading to a sort of

conversational trap. "Couldn't believe you noticed me," Izzy says honestly. Maybe Ed is gearing up to tell him how lucky he was to serve Blackbeard for as long as he had, lucky Ed hadn't just killed him that fateful day. Izzy already knows, but maybe Ed needs to hear him say it.

"fuck man you kidding me?! I'd never seen anyone move the way you did. Even filthy & malnourished you were beautiful." Izzy looks up sharply at that. "Oh come off it, you know youre a looker."

Izzy rolls his eyes, "maybe a few decades ago I was okay."
Ed purses his lips, shakes

his head "nah, iz you aged like a fine wine."
Izzy takes a large drink to avoid having to make a response. He doesn't know why Ed would be lying to him like this. He knows there is nothing about him that fine; never has been. And until Ed met Stede Bonnet, Izzy had never thought

twice about it. He was a damn good pirate, and that had been all that mattered. Who cared if he was a bit rough around the edges? He was first mate to the cleverest, most feared pirate on the seven seas!

Apparently Ed had cared. Izzy tried not to think about whether Stede had

sparked a new desire in Ed, or if during two decades of sailing together Ed had been longing for fine things and Izzy had just never realized. Whenever he can't avoid thinking about it, Izzy hopes it's the former. The idea that he'd failed Ed so thoroughly for so long is getting.

Gutting not getting goddamnit

Izzy swallows & looks up again at Ed, who doesn't look as tho he meant to be mocking or cruel. "I think you've got your vintages confused*" Izzy rasps.
Ed smiles a little sadly at his response and shakes his head. "I know what I'm about mate. But I didn't bring us here to argue"

"Why /did/ you bring us here?"
"Can't remember the last time we went out for a drink together. Figured it was overdue. Whaddya say we get some grub as well?" Ed doesn't was for Izzy to answer before he is waving the serving girl back over. She begins listing the food the kitchen

has available. Izzy interjects at the first mention of a vegetable stew, asking for a bowl of that and some bread. He studiously avoids looking at Ed as he does so, but he can feel his eyes on him. The server chirps agreeably, apparently oblivious to the tension that is eating

Izzy from the inside out. She turns to Ed, who orders a roast of some sort and more ale for both of them.

She walks away to fetch their meals and Ed sighs, sounding exhausted. "Long day?" Izzy teases before he can think the better of it.

Ed smiles softly, "a bit yeah."

Izzy feels some tension leak from his shoulders. He finishes the last of his drink as the server brings their food and another round.

Their meal is eaten in companionable silence that is only broken by the occasional comment on the food, drink, or other patrons of the tavern.

It's nice. Nice than Izzy has felt in a long time. They finish their food and Izzy gathers the courage to ask, "what would you like next?"
"Tonight?"
"Aye. And...longer term, if you have thoughts?"
"Well for tonight I figured we would have one last pint before heading back. No

point spendin good coin for a mattress that probably has bedbugs when we got good clean berths waiting for us on the ship." Izzy nods his agreement, relieved. In the past Ed had sometimes liked to spend nights in rooms above taverns but it always felt a bit risky, someone could

Recognize them and turn them in for a reward, and that was /before/ Ed had violated the Act of Grace & had a larger bounty than ever on his head. "Got something to pick up tomorrow. Then we can stay as long as we need for the crew to sow some wild oats and get the ship stocked."

"sure boss. I'll tell the crew they're getting 5 days of shore leave?"
"Give em a full week, we aren't in any rush." Izzy nods. "You'll do inventory tomorrow? So we have a clear idea of what we need to stock up on?"
It's odd, hearing Edward ask rather than order properly; Izzy's

unsure as to how he feels about it. Still, at least Ed is thinking about the ship, making plans. Izzy knows better than to take that for granted. "Aye Cap'n." Izzy signals the server to bring them another round of drinks, then settles into the booth. Tipsy, fed, and aware of the

plan for the next week or so has him feeling more relaxed than he has in years. Ed smiles tentatively at him from across the booth, raising the fresh pint the server had just brought over. "To us."
Izzy blinks in surprise as he raises his glass to clink against Edward's.
"To us."

~~~
When Izzy brings Ed breakfast the next morning he is still in bed, covers pulled over his face the shield him from the sun's morning rays. "Got some food for you, boss," Izzy announces as he sets down the tray on the table. Ed groans but pushes himself up to shuffle blearily

towards the table. He reaches immediately for the coffee, drinking deeply, then looks up at Izzy, face full of delighted surprise. "You put extra sugar in my coffee, Iz?"
Izzy shrugs, looks away. "We're in port. No real need to ration, can just buy more 'fore we head off."

"Right, speaking of, you're doing inventory today, yeah?" Izzy grinds his teeth in frustration and is trying to formulate a calm response when Ed looks up at him with big eyes and says in a quiet, almost timid (?!) voice, "You'll be here when I get back?"
"Of course, Captain."

"Good, good," Ed says thru mouthfuls of food. "D'ya need anything while I'm out?"
Iz is so startled by the unexpected offer that he doesn't even think about how absurd a question it is when they had literally /just/ talked about him taking inventory to determine what was needed.

"Not that I can think of, no," is all Izzy says. "Anything else you need from me, sir?"
Ed rises from the table and claps him on the shoulder. "Nah, mate. Thanks for the grub." Ed moves to grab the clothes he'd apparently set out the night before. "I'll see you when I get back."

~~~
Izzy keeps himself busy, taking stock not only of what they have in the hold and what inventory they need more of but also of the state of their rigging, determining which lines are frayed, which sails should be taken down & mended while in port, and the state of the hull.

He's cataloguing their armory and munitions when Ivan finds him to tell him that Ed's returned and is asking for him in the captain's cabin. Izzy writes down where he is leaving off and then goes as asked to meet Ed.

Ed looks up when Izzy enters the cabin and closes the door.

Ed swallows audibly, then picks up a box that Izzy hadn't noticed before on the table and hands it to Izzy before stepping back and wringing his hands. The box is wrapped in brown butcher paper that's covered in Ed's doodles. Izzy feels his jaw drop and eyes widen in surprise.

"Sir?"
"'s a gift, Iz. Open it."
Ed has given Izzy things over the years, mostly random odds and ends picked up in raids that in the moment had struck him as being well suited toward his first mate.
"You wrapped it" Izzy states stupidly, as if that's not abundantly obvious.

"Yeah. Sorry 'bout the scribbles, everything took longer than I expected and I just got bored."
Izzy is turning the box over his hands like it's something precious, marveling at the talent Ed would deign to bestow onto him.
"it's beautiful. For me?" Izzy needs to be sure, even as

he begins to look for the seams to carefully unwrap the gift. Ed's snort in response sounds of pained laughter.
"Yeah, Iz. For you. Just tear it open mate."
Izzy gasps slightly. As if he would wantonly destroy something lovely that Ed had given him, even if it was just wrapping.

Izzy delicately sets aside the paper and opens the box. Inside is on top if a leather vest, which he carefully lifts to inspect. "Figured it'd do ya good to have a spare," Ed says awkwardly. Izzy nods, too emotional to trust his voice. He folds the vest and lays next to the paper

Next are several cravats, all dark but in the bright light of the cabin Izzy can see that they are different colors, one is black of course, but another is a deep purple, one a navy blue, a dark green. Izzy looks up at Ed, but Ed isn't looking at him. He's staring at the floor as

he chews his lips and wrings his hands.
"Edward," Izzy whispers, willing his captain to look up at him. "This is too much." Ed doesn't oblige, of course. Just shakes his head in disagreement. Izzy sighs and sets the cravats on the vest. On the bottom is a much smaller box, along

with several vials, a few rolls of gauze, a bottle of rum, some thread and fresh needles. "Well, I'm glad you got at least a few practical things for the ship," Izzy says lightly as he picks up each item to inspect and set to the side. Just in the periphery of his vision he sees

Ed cringe slightly at his words but otherwise doesn't respond. Izzy feels bad; he doesn't know why Ed would cringe, he was just trying to deflect some of the awkwardness of receiving so much so unexpectedly.

The last thing Izzy withdrawals is the second, tiny box, this one only

square inch or two in size. He opens it to find a small piece of wood that has been sanded smooth and whittled into an oblong shape. Izzy looks up to find Ed anxiously watching him through his eyelashes.
"Sir?"
"I know, Iz. I know it's not enough. I know I can't ever undo it or

fix it or make it up to you. I know you probably hate me & I don't blame you. I hate me too. I dunno how you can bear to look at me." Ed's words increasingly run together as he begins to hyperventilate. "I'm just so s-sorry," he sobs. "I need you to know how deeply sorry I am!"

Ed has his arms wrapped tightly around himself as he openly weeps. Izzy moves out of instinct - the novelty of Edwards apology having shocked any coherent thought from his mind - guiding Ed to sitting before going to pour him a glass of water.
"Breathe, Edward. You gotta breathe"

Izzy wraps his arm around Ed's shoulder, using his other hand to tuck the hair that's obscuring Edward's face behind his ear. Iz tries to channel his older sister, digging deep into the recesses of his memories for how she would console him when he was young and distraught.

He rubs gently along Ed's back and arms, pausing to bring a glass of water to Edward's lips whenever there is a break in his hiccupping sobs. "That's it," Izzy whispers softly. "Let it all out, Ed." When Ed is breathing steadily enough to speak he chokes out more apologies.

"I know, Eddie. I know. Remember to breathe. Yep, just like that."
Eventually Ed's weeping slows to sniffles, and Izzy passes his captain a handkerchief to blow his nose into. Then Ed gulps down an entire glass of water before looking apprehensively at Izzy.

Izzy sighs wearily.

"I know you don't owe me anything Iz," Ed rushes out. "And," Ed's voice catches and his eyes start watering anew, "I understand if you want to leave. Either completely, or to captain your own ship in a fleet with me, or," Ed is beginning to spiral again so Izzy cuts him off.

"Thanks, Edward. For the offer. And the apology. I... it means a lot. I appreciate it." Ed gulps and nods, eyes huge as he watches Izzy intently. "I...Eddie I wish I could tell you it was okay. But honestly? It's not." Ed opens his mouth but Izzy cuts him off again, "No, let me

finish, Edward. It's not okay. You are right - you hurt me in a way that can't ever be undone. It was, is, fucked up. I know I hurt you first, lashing out and getting in your face but, fuck Ed! Talk about dispro-fucking-portional! It's a miracle it didn't get infected. My balance

is all kinds of fucked now; I can't climb the rigging like before, to say nothing of how I've had to train twice as hard to be half as good as I was before with a sword." Ed nods, solemnly, biting his lip to keep from interrupting, tears streaming down his face. "I rarely sleep

through the night anymore. Every creak, groan, or sudden movement of the shift has me waking in a cold sweat. I can't stomach to eat meat any more. Hell, half the time I can't even keep down cooked veg." Ed's face pales and he clearly wants to look away, but won't let himself,

forcing himself to witness as Izzy confesses all the suffering he's endured because of the rash decision Ed had made while out of his mind with grief and panic.
"But," Izzy says, reaching over to wipe some freshly fallen tears off Ed's face, "I still don't want to leave you. Fuck

Maybe it's pathetic - it's definitely stupid, but I want to give you, give us another chance. I think...I think maybe we could be better for each other, if we really tried?" Ed's eyes are wide with shock as he nods tentatively, not yet daring to hope in earnest. "Serving you, Ed,

that's been my life's purpose for 20 goddamn years. And I'll be damned if I let anyone take that away from me, not that pompous fucking twat who had the audacity to hurt you; not even you, Edward."
A wobbly smile begins to form on Ed's face, "yeah? You mean that, Iz?"
"Of course

I mean it, Edward. But we need to figure out how to make sure nothing like this ever happens again, Eddie. Because it would kill me to leave you, but it would kill /you/ to watch yourself become your father. So you gotta work with me. We gotta figure out a way to stop you from

ever getting this bad again."
Ed nods gravely, "yeah, okay, yeah, that's smart."
For the first time since Ed began crying, Izzy feels a smile starting to grow on his lips. "Really?"
"Yeah, of course Iz, fuck you are so right. I don't wanna keep hurting the people I care about."

It's that, the implication that Izzy's more than just Ed's first mate, that somehow, against all reason or sense, Izzy falls into the category of "people Ed cares about," that finally breaks him, a sob tearing out of Izzy.
"Fuck, o no, Iz, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean ta break ya"

Ed wraps his arms around Izzy, holding him tight. He mirrors back to Izzy the same consolations he'd just received, rubbing his back gently, smoothing back his hair, murmuring what comforts he can think of. "It's ok, Iz, I gotchya. We'll be okay mate. We'll figure it out. We can

do anything. We're motherfucking Blackbeard, we can do anything. Right Iz? You taught me that, a million years ago, ya remember?"
Izzy snorts a disgusting sort of combination of a sob and a laugh, nodding into Ed's shoulder. Ed smiles as he presses a gentle kiss to Izzy's temple

"Course ya' do. Steel trap, your mind is. C'mon, drink some water mate. There ya go." Izzy drinks the water then into Ed's eyes. "I promise Iz, I'm gonna do the work. I'm gonna be worthy of the 2nd chance you're giving me."

Izzy doesn't know if its a promise Ed can keep. But he knows their gonna try. And right now, thats enough.

Fin.

Belated #happyedizzyweek prompt fill for #ActofTrueLove

Not sure if it qualifies as happy, maybe more bittersweet. But the prompt was Act of True Love and for me the truest of those are sincere apologies that are freely offered, and second chances accompanied by boundaries

Actually I just looked at my board and the next prompt I had to fill was #SecondChances which I genuinely did not remember when I was writing this but I'm gonna go ahead and say this fills both prompts

@threadreaderapp unroll