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Feb 17, 2023 • 9 tweets • 4 min read • Read on X
A #2023thread on grief and grief resources 🧵
“Growing Around Grief,” whatsyourgrief.com/growing-around… references Lois Tonkin, 1996. Growing around grief—another way of looking at grief and recovery, Bereavement Care, 15:1, 10, doi.org/10.1080/026826….
Graphic of "my experience" versus what I thought "stages of grief" would be.
“Death is a date in the calendar, but grief is the calendar.”

John Pavlovitz, 2017. The Grieving You Need Most After the Funeral, johnpavlovitz.com/2017/01/05/the…, 5 January 2017.
The Grief Recovery Handbook from GriefRecoveryMethod.com is the resource I suggest most often for people stalled in their grief after a year or more, widely available used and from libraries.
Surviving Spouse or Partner Suicide Loss is the best recent book on grief I have seen, especially for immediately after. Its of wider applicability than the title might suggest, and there is a companion volume for friends and family.
Most hospices or hospital social workers will know of local "bereavement support" "grief groups," either locally or online, and those are also invaluable.

This is not a journey one need endure alone.
Alexander Hardy @ChrisAlexander_'s #GriefKit is also an excellent, immediate resource at getsomejoy.com/griefkit.
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More from @rorybowman

Feb 26
Sam Keen was one author popular among "mythopoetic" men thirty or so years ago, especially his 1991 book Fire In the Belly: On Being a Man.

goodreads.com/book/show/5662…

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An excellent sense of his insights can be found by searching for terms such as “phallus” or “goddess” in this book, or , noting how far they fall from Andrew Tate or today’s “manosphere.”archive.org/details/firein…
archive.org/details/firein…
Keen’s 1990 book Your Mythic Journey was featured by Bill Moyers in a PBS special of the same name, , which expanded on its subtitle: “Finding Meaning in Your Life Through Writing and Storytelling.”

The overlap between therapy and literature is strong.billmoyers.com/content/your-m…
Read 6 tweets
Feb 19
The "mythopoetic" men's movement came into prominence in the mid-1980's, as various books about archetypes emerged into popular, public consciousness.

Books such as Jean Shinoda Bolen's Goddesses in Every Woman and Robert Bly's Iron John drew insights from myth and fairy tales.


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"Mythopoets adopted a general style of psychological self-help inspired by the work of Robert Bly, Robert A. Johnson, Joseph Campbell, and other Jungian authors."



Thousands of men are still active in such "work," with hundreds of circles worldwide.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mythopoet…
A 1988 PBS series by Bill Moyers did a lot to popularize the idea of mythology and depth psychology in the United States.



Joseph Campbell and the Power of Myth popularized Campbell’s 1948 book Hero With a Thousand Faces, tying it to Star Wars and more.youtube.com/playlist?list=…
Read 9 tweets
Feb 12
Modern male socialization in the United States often falls short on "EQ" or "emotional intelligence," such that men have trouble distinguishing even basic emotions in themselves and others.

This creates a number of problems, so a thing I often share is a "multiple choice" tool…
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Adapted from page 38 of Bill Kauth’s 1993 book A Circle of Men, this tool has a number of key advantages, both in its simplicity and its rhyming.

When pressed, most men can identify one of these four feelings, and often even clarify where in their body they feel it. Image
Anger is often a major “go to” emotion for many men, because it is widely accepted.

For this reason it is often an analgesic or “masking emotion” to plaster over other feelings.

Anger often emerges as a reaction when something stops us from having what we need or want. Image
Read 11 tweets
Feb 5
Male friendships are an area that merits discussion, with examples in literature from the epic of Gilgamesh forward.



How can men today normalize better friendships as part of healthy masculinities?

#MasculinityMonday #Masculinities #MasculinitiesMonday archive.nytimes.com/well.blogs.nyt…

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Male friendships in the 19th century were more common, affectionate and sentimental than most friendships today, as touched on at .

“Homosociality” is common from middle childhood forward, but persisted for US men longer in more sexually segregated times.artofmanliness.com/people/relatio…
Men report being lonelier than women, and having fewer friends.



Some data suggests that this may be worse for young men, for a variety of reasons.latimes.com/opinion/story/…
Read 15 tweets
May 13, 2023
Examining Differences between men and women

Source: mtintegraal.nl/artikelen/310/… (translated to English)

There are visible but also less visible differences between men and women.
The visible differences are partly responsible for the differences in physical performance. The less visible differences are most interesting for explaining uneven performance in all forms of sports:
Read 56 tweets
May 10, 2023
Blood-serum hormone levels are a red herring, since most of male competitive advantage is mechanical and permanent with male puberty.

outsideonline.com/outdoor-advent…

This man is an entitled asshole, and male bodies should NEVER colonize female sport. Image
Sports have rules and categories for sound reasons of equity, dignity and safety, with DECADES of data across every sport showing clear and persistent advantage across events.

theatlantic.com/technology/arc…

Categories and rules are not created capriciously, but methodically refined.
Physical categories such as age, sex and weight class are based in consistently observable realities, which sport science can quantify across (tens of) THOUSANDS of cases.

#AllMalesAreMale #SexNotGender #DontBeADick ImageImageImage
Read 6 tweets

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